Episode 41: Rockula

(63 votes, average 4.65 out of 5)
Comments (65)
  • SpotTheShingo
    Something popped into my mind: "What would the Distressed Watcher think about Rockula?"
  • danethefurry
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    Fuck the Distressed Watcher. That no talent hack.
  • dennett316
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    Wow, I've had comments banned that weren't as rude and obnoxious as this...what the hell mod guys??
  • Divide By Zero
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    This danethefurry guy's been trolling pretty intensively lately.
  • axlryder
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    troll or not, the dude is right.
  • mrrubino
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    You only get in trouble if you slight the A-listers.
  • HorrorMovie Critic  - Dane
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    What have you ever done Dane, Your named after a horrid comedian and one of the lesser dog breeds! Fuck YOU! You get a job like this and make me laugh and then i'll agree with you, but until then FUUUUUUUUUCK YOUUU!
  • SpanishScion
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    You know how some directors have a distinctive touch that marks their movies?
    Yeah, this has Wiseu's greasy fingerprints all over it.
  • TragicGuineaPig
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    DARK LORD TOMMY WISEAU! Please! Have mercy! Don't kill us all! Or even worse, don't make us watch your movie!

    Stewart Smalley reference for the win!

    Because as everyone knows, girls find relentless stalking to be very charming and sweet, and not at all totally creepy and disturbing.
  • ToonNinja
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    If Tommy Wiseau's a Dark Lord, then the Critic's unfunny. I'd imagine Wiseau as more of a lesser imp.
  • mrrubino
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    No, I think he's just European.
    Like from that country M. and the former Mme. Laupin were from.
  • SpanishScion
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    Awesome Xanatos Gambit, by the way.
  • axlryder
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    This movie looks great, like it knew exactly how much the eighties sucked and decided to celebrate that suck in all its terribly written glory (or perhaps not so terribly written when taking into account how meta-aware of itself this movies seems to be). However, I must say you missed a perfect opportunity for a "You're tearing me apart CR" at the end there.
  • ByrdMan
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    What a twist! :D

    I have use you, you are the fool!
    Noooo, not again, what a world, what a world...
  • whatever42
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    That was a great review of a movie I never even knew existed. And now, I very much want to see it just to say I have.

    This movie seemed so silly in general, that there's not much I can really say about it. I can see why you like it CR; the camp value is so high.

    Also, I absolutely loved how you defeated Wiseau with one of his own lines. That was probably the best part of the entire video. Very nicely done.
  • NintendoFanboy
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    Wow. When I need a master strategist for my fantasy dream team, f**k Batman, I want CR!

    When you were explaining what would go good with exposition, I thought you were going to say an awesome guitar solo! ;)
  • ninjaboyz101
    CR goes through a lot for us
  • dork74
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    If you have Netflix streaming, you can add Rockula to your que to view!!! That statement tells you just how far your nine bucks a month providing amazing cinematic selections from Netflix....Well... at least you dont have to try to find an awful VHS rip to see it.....Rockula was never released on DVD....But the version on Netflix looks great !
  • Kenric
    I enjoyed the video, but I am getting a bit tired of the Wiseau jokes. Good video anyway.
  • dork74
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    Also for any hardcore Dean "Rockula" Cameron fans the hard to find film "Miracle Beach" is also available on Netflix streaming..another film that is not available on dvd.....just f.y.i. to anyone who shives a git.
  • Aquarellmalerin
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    cheep cheep cheep lol the Wiseau jokes are still good xD
  • Salivore
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    Why was Bull Hurley in this movie?
  • SkullCap  - So what kind of Keeper is Wiseau?
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    If Wiseau is a Keeper, let's see...

    Spoony-Gatekeeper/Gate Cleaner
    Linkara-Book Keeper/Bee Keeper

    Wiseau must be the Crap Keeper, the one who has access to all these hilariously crappy movies.

    Maybe the Trapper Keeper, one who imprisons his victims and subjects them to campy movies.

    *Lightbulb*

    Wait, I got it, he's the Drakh Keeper.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/ wiki/Drakh#Keepers

    Go ahead, check that link out and tell me that doesn't perfectly describe Tommy Wiseau.

    CR, great review.
  • Walt Conway
    Chainsaw...from Summer School?
  • Moomoof
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    i thought stephine got it from rosewell the alien show that basically was the same thing ...at least that is what my cousin told me
  • Mad_Man_Moony
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    It's official, CR!'s the Keymaster
  • Mr.TommyWiseau
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    YOU USED ME?! WHY YOU BETRAY ME CR!?
  • Shinigami
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    That movie was just stupid.
  • The Fiend  - My name always leaves an echo
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    I paid the rikola guy to make it that way. Great review CR, the movie looks like the fun kind of bad movie, as opposed to just crap. and the epic twist actually kind of made sense...except how did you know that the keeper would pick "Rockula" specifically? Do you have a talking reflection we should know about?
  • ArtticWitchica
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    XD Bradley seemed like what Draco Malfoy will be in 30 years to me. XD
  • jalford
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    And I thought Vampire Sucks was bad!
  • ThatGuyWithTheSaxophone
    Oh God, that was awesome! Great job, CR!

    Beware of Frankendouche!!!!!!

    Nice use of the "epic battle"
    "Who keeps piles of boxes around anyway? Honestly?!?!"
    "Oh, don't you talk about my boxes- I like boxes!!!!!"

    And I have to admit, the "you know, that was my mother, you just boned" joke was kinda funny...

    Anyway, great job!!!
  • Wolfdude
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    Awesome episode =)
    I could had been the first to coment but I was to tierd to remember my password XD
  • Divide By Zero
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    You know, the basic premise of this film could actually make a decent story. It has all the basic elements, eternal love and loss, betrayal, reincarnation, vaguely incestuous milf-pire, magical reflection (though perhaps not played by a stand-up comedian). Take all these things and play it straight and you might have a half decent movie or book.

    Though to be honest, it probably wouldn't be half as much fun. =D
  • FunkyM
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    That was fun. Great vid CR!

    But what significance that key...?
  • Divide By Zero
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    Just an idea, but I'm guessing something like;

    use key head on key shaft

    get key

    use key on door

    door is unlocked

    open door and RUN MAN, RUN!!!
  • GLKnight
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    Okay. So I was wrong.

    But you HAVE to review Rock and Roll Vampire now! Nic Cage, man! NIC CAGE!!!!
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