Something popped into my mind: "What would the Distressed Watcher think about Rockula?"
Episode 41: Rockula
Written by CR Saturday, 30 October 2010 19:42
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Comments (65)
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10.30.2010 - 21:22 | SpotTheShingo
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10.31.2010 - 01:16 | danethefurry
Fuck the Distressed Watcher. That no talent hack.
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10.31.2010 - 07:57 | dennett316
Wow, I've had comments banned that weren't as rude and obnoxious as this...what the hell mod guys??
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10.31.2010 - 09:45 | Divide By Zero
This danethefurry guy's been trolling pretty intensively lately.
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10.31.2010 - 19:30 | axlryder
troll or not, the dude is right.
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11.12.2010 - 21:07 | mrrubino
You only get in trouble if you slight the A-listers.
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What have you ever done Dane, Your named after a horrid comedian and one of the lesser dog breeds! Fuck YOU! You get a job like this and make me laugh and then i'll agree with you, but until then FUUUUUUUUUCK YOUUU!
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10.30.2010 - 21:56 | SpanishScion
You know how some directors have a distinctive touch that marks their movies?
Yeah, this has Wiseu's greasy fingerprints all over it.
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10.30.2010 - 22:20 | TragicGuineaPig
DARK LORD TOMMY WISEAU! Please! Have mercy! Don't kill us all! Or even worse, don't make us watch your movie!
Stewart Smalley reference for the win!
Because as everyone knows, girls find relentless stalking to be very charming and sweet, and not at all totally creepy and disturbing.
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10.31.2010 - 23:03 | ToonNinja
If Tommy Wiseau's a Dark Lord, then the Critic's unfunny. I'd imagine Wiseau as more of a lesser imp.
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11.12.2010 - 21:10 | mrrubinoNo, I think he's just European.
Like from that country M. and the former Mme. Laupin were from.
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10.30.2010 - 22:01 | SpanishScionAwesome Xanatos Gambit, by the way.
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10.30.2010 - 22:39 | axlryderThis movie looks great, like it knew exactly how much the eighties sucked and decided to celebrate that suck in all its terribly written glory (or perhaps not so terribly written when taking into account how meta-aware of itself this movies seems to be). However, I must say you missed a perfect opportunity for a "You're tearing me apart CR" at the end there.
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10.30.2010 - 22:40 | ByrdMan
What a twist! :D
I have use you, you are the fool!
Noooo, not again, what a world, what a world...
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10.30.2010 - 22:48 | whatever42
That was a great review of a movie I never even knew existed. And now, I very much want to see it just to say I have.
This movie seemed so silly in general, that there's not much I can really say about it. I can see why you like it CR; the camp value is so high.
Also, I absolutely loved how you defeated Wiseau with one of his own lines. That was probably the best part of the entire video. Very nicely done.
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10.31.2010 - 00:23 | NintendoFanboy
Wow. When I need a master strategist for my fantasy dream team, f**k Batman, I want CR!
When you were explaining what would go good with exposition, I thought you were going to say an awesome guitar solo! ;)
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10.30.2010 - 23:55 | ninjaboyz101CR goes through a lot for us
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10.31.2010 - 00:14 | dork74
If you have Netflix streaming, you can add Rockula to your que to view!!! That statement tells you just how far your nine bucks a month providing amazing cinematic selections from Netflix....Well... at least you dont have to try to find an awful VHS rip to see it.....Rockula was never released on DVD....But the version on Netflix looks great !
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10.31.2010 - 00:25 | KenricI enjoyed the video, but I am getting a bit tired of the Wiseau jokes. Good video anyway.
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10.31.2010 - 00:32 | dork74Also for any hardcore Dean "Rockula" Cameron fans the hard to find film "Miracle Beach" is also available on Netflix streaming..another film that is not available on dvd.....just f.y.i. to anyone who shives a git.
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10.31.2010 - 00:36 | Aquarellmalerin
cheep cheep cheep lol the Wiseau jokes are still good xD
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10.31.2010 - 00:39 | Salivore
Why was Bull Hurley in this movie?
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If Wiseau is a Keeper, let's see...
Spoony-Gatekeeper/Gate Cleaner
Linkara-Book Keeper/Bee Keeper
Wiseau must be the Crap Keeper, the one who has access to all these hilariously crappy movies.
Maybe the Trapper Keeper, one who imprisons his victims and subjects them to campy movies.
*Lightbulb*
Wait, I got it, he's the Drakh Keeper.
http://en.wikipedia.org/ wiki/Drakh#Keepers
Go ahead, check that link out and tell me that doesn't perfectly describe Tommy Wiseau.
CR, great review.
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10.31.2010 - 01:03 | Walt ConwayChainsaw...from Summer School?
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10.31.2010 - 01:16 | The Guy that Died in MM Zero 1
good to see you liked the Room Keaper's "punisment"
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10.31.2010 - 01:30 | Moomoof
i thought stephine got it from rosewell the alien show that basically was the same thing ...at least that is what my cousin told me
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10.31.2010 - 01:44 | Mad_Man_Moony
It's official, CR!'s the Keymaster
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10.31.2010 - 02:02 | Mr.TommyWiseau
YOU USED ME?! WHY YOU BETRAY ME CR!?
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10.31.2010 - 02:12 | Shinigami
That movie was just stupid.
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I paid the rikola guy to make it that way. Great review CR, the movie looks like the fun kind of bad movie, as opposed to just crap. and the epic twist actually kind of made sense...except how did you know that the keeper would pick "Rockula" specifically? Do you have a talking reflection we should know about?
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10.31.2010 - 02:31 | ArtticWitchica
XD Bradley seemed like what Draco Malfoy will be in 30 years to me. XD
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10.31.2010 - 03:21 | jalford
And I thought Vampire Sucks was bad!
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10.31.2010 - 03:48 | ThatGuyWithTheSaxophoneOh God, that was awesome! Great job, CR!
Beware of Frankendouche!!!!!!
Nice use of the "epic battle"
"Who keeps piles of boxes around anyway? Honestly?!?!"
"Oh, don't you talk about my boxes- I like boxes!!!!!"
And I have to admit, the "you know, that was my mother, you just boned" joke was kinda funny...
Anyway, great job!!!
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10.31.2010 - 05:03 | Snarky McBullhorn
Queen Doris lives! Huzzah!
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10.31.2010 - 05:33 | Wolfdude
Awesome episode =)
I could had been the first to coment but I was to tierd to remember my password XD
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10.31.2010 - 07:44 | Divide By ZeroYou know, the basic premise of this film could actually make a decent story. It has all the basic elements, eternal love and loss, betrayal, reincarnation, vaguely incestuous milf-pire, magical reflection (though perhaps not played by a stand-up comedian). Take all these things and play it straight and you might have a half decent movie or book.
Though to be honest, it probably wouldn't be half as much fun. =D
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10.31.2010 - 07:46 | FunkyM
That was fun. Great vid CR!
But what significance that key...?
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10.31.2010 - 16:10 | Divide By ZeroJust an idea, but I'm guessing something like;
use key head on key shaft
get key
use key on door
door is unlocked
open door and RUN MAN, RUN!!!
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10.31.2010 - 08:33 | GLKnight
Okay. So I was wrong.
But you HAVE to review Rock and Roll Vampire now! Nic Cage, man! NIC CAGE!!!!
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