Rob Zombie's Halloween II

(87 votes, average 4.38 out of 5)
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Comments (63)
  • Whisper Critic
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    Oh yeah! 1st one^^
    Anyway Erod doesnt disappoint and he is keeping up with the great work^^
  • Steve Potter
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    I love this review, but I wish you would stop referring to Rob Zombie's FIRST Halloween as this film's "prequel." It's a predecessor, not a prequel. A prequel is a film made after the original, but set before it. Funnily enough, everyone calls "The Hobbit" a prequel to "Lord of the Rings", even though it's actually LOTR's predecessor. The MOVIE, however, is ACTUALLY a prequel to the series.

    This is an incredibly stupid and nitpicky complaint, but it really does bother me.

    Also, I think we should have an Honest Review of UHF. That's one of my favorite movies of all time.
  • snoofulus
    Uh, no, the movie is an adaptation of the predecessor that was filmed later ;)
  • TangledLover
    i think laurie wanting to party could be looked at as a sort of copeing mechanism, trying to tell herslf she dosen't care. just a thought
  • rockybalboa211
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    Wait, wasn't Michael, himself, a supernatural being? I mean, that's the whole point of the Thorn Trilogy (fourth to sixth films). Those films explained why Michael couldn't die and what his motivation was for trying to kill every single one of his blood relatives off.
  • thorondragon
    no, he was just turned into one so that they could make more movies out of the bastard. basically it is like them cloning baromer from lord of the rings so he could be in the movie later. does not fit into the genre and is totally lazy.
  • Axel Osbourne
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    No, no, Michael was ALWAYS a supernatural being, even from the first movie starting with Loomis insisting that "this isn't a man" to him walking away after taking six bullets in the heart and falling from a two story building, it was obvious that this was something more than a man. Even if you tried to look past that, Part 2 pretty much sealed the deal with with him being shot over and over again (twice in the eyes, with his brain right behind them) and only finally going down when his body is completely bunted up. I've never understood how this idea that Michael is "just a man" has persisted, but that's just my pet peeve.

    Anyway, as for this movie, while I'm a fan of Zombie's music, liked The Devil's Rejects and can't completely dismiss the first one, this is (in my opinion) not just the worst remake, not just the worst Halloween movie, but THE WORST MOVIE EVER MADE, PERIOD! This movie was traumatizingly bad! You know how Lupa is found of saying that no movie is without merit, well I'm sorry Lupa, but this movie is without MERIT! Nothing works: the acting horrible, the story.....there is no story! Michael hangs out in the woods, Larie's upset, Lommis is being an ass in a completely different bad movie, and there's a white horse because shut up! That's it, the movie! And one of the biggest complaints against Zombie is that his dialog is nothing but cursing, which I've always thought was a little unfair, but here the dialog is NOTHING BUT CURSING! In fact this whole thing feels like Zombie is almost spoofing himself, with all the Zombie cliches (scumbag characters, pointless gore ect) rampt to almost cartoon level. The only movie I can think to compare this to is The Room, except where that movie is unintentionally funny, this movie is depressing, upsetting, and unrelentingly BORING! It's obvious that Zombie was trying to make a bad movie here, because he was upset that people didn't like his first film (yeah, that end with Bubba Myers showing his face and talking was pretty much a big middle finger) Oh, but don't think this is me just unloading on this movie, because believe me, I'm holding back!
  • ToruKun1
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    Yeah but that shit was dumb
  • zepolmas  - Re; thorn trillogy
    Thorn?

    These films are a "thing?"
  • Dust  - Well
    Kinda/sorta...

    Carpenter played it off with some vague 'embodiment of fear' thing for the most part - and then they came up with some crap about science giving him evil powers via magic runes.

    (Or the scientists wanted to steal his magic rune power... it's been a long time since I saw the 6th one.)
  • Eleanor
    I hate Horror movies, but I like watching them lie this, because you take all the scare and gross factor out of it!!!
    Why you want to bust Breaking Dawn, when its like its book, I don't understand........
  • eujoyuen
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    Why? Because it's like the book, that's exactly the problem. The story is badly written, so the movie is already doomed.

    Fails in character construction, plot focus, motivations, chemestry, etc. You'll see next week.
  • eujoyuen
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    For you to have an idea... Spoony got drunk after watching it. And even Doug, who loves the movies for being "so bad, it's good", was near the hysteric anger about it.
  • Redtutel2
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    Because it's an insult to the fan base of vampires and were wolfs.
  • shewillbeyourlivingend
    Horror movies are supposed to be scary. As for the grossness, obviously that's optional, but most scary movies have to be scary.
  • thorondragon
    actually twilight does not even count as a monster movie. i mean, come on, all you got is fake vampires and werewolves and nothin else in it, without any sense of tension, drama, or emotion.
  • AbsintheMinded
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    Candy Corn M&M'S?! That sounds interesting. I'll have to try and find some.
  • FishEyenoMiko
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    I know, right? He said that and I was like, "Wait, what?" I hope they have those here in Az...
  • Mariner  - Running Commentary
    2:22 Wait, isn't that the actor who played the pedo-soldier in Doom?

    2:24 ...playing the same character from said film. Charming.

    2:50 Oh...goooooood. They're both....nercophiliacs.... gooooooooood.

    3:07 BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHA HA

    3:48 Maybe he was a big fan of Chik-Fil-A?

    5:08 To his credit, it's hard to aim a knife when you've just been shot in the face. It's scientifically proven.

    5:34 Admittedly, Rob DID kind of foreshadow this, and by foreshadow I mean jackhammer with the subtlety of a Katy Perry song.

    5:53 I'm not sure that's what your therapist meant by "hitting the pussy." Whatever works man.

    6:45 Oh come on. McDowell is rocking that pornstache pretty hard.

    6:53 Wow. A goateed McDowell. Why the fuck hasn't this guy been knighted already?

    7:23 "I'm oh, so sorry my good man, I was distracted by that hilarious jumpcut for a second. Do go on."

    7:37 "...WOULD SOMEONE PLEASE GET THAT FUCKING DIRECTOR HIS ADDERALL ALREADY?"

    8:34 SOMEBODY is a big fan of Alan Wake.

    9:36 ERod, to be fair, Loomis DOES actually have a sensible reaction and character arc in this film

    I mean, he almost fucking DIED trying to save a girls life. Is "selling out" really that bad? Hell, that's not even out of the ordinary for real-life survivors of tragic events. A guy's gotta eat, y'know.

    Not dog, because that's just...dumb.

    9:54 Urge to kill, fading.

    11:58 Urge to kill, rising. I'm sorry, but as good as Rocky Horror may be, IT'S FANS NEED TO STOP RUINING IT FOR EVERYONE ELSE ON THIS PLANET.

    12:25 You're REALLY not that familiar with Curry's body of work, are you? This wouldn't even make it into the top 100 list of OMG WTF IS HE DOING?

    12:32 OH GOD CUT BACK TO CURRY/WOLFMAN! FOR THE SAKE OF THE CHILDREN.

    12:54: He's dead. I get it.

    12:55: He's FUCKING dead. I GET IT.

    12:58 Okay Rob, if he wasn't dead, WHY DID YOU FRAME THE SHOT TO MAKE HIM LOOK DEAD?

    14:22 ...so he's acting like he did in the first movie then. Which mean's he's not really a selfish prick. To be fair, it's hard to expect a reasonable characterization when Zombie's FUBARed everything else.

    15:12 WHAT? Fuc...WHAT? ....WHAT?

    15:19 Time is warped and space is bendaFUCK YOU ZOMBIE YOU FUCKING IDIOT.

    16:37 DUDE...the supports to your house have feelings too! Use the bedposts, they're dead inside already.

    18:38 Dude, just remind him he's been cancelled for like, two decades already. He'll go away.

    18:57 "LIVERTEA?" I actually like liver and onions, but that's pushing it dude.

    (I know it's a flub, shut it.)

    19:06 OH TEH NOES I HAEV TU DO THIS WITH OUT MAI POWAS AGAIN...AGAIN?
  • shewillbeyourlivingend
    You should know that McDowell has been offered a knighthood, but he rejected it.
  • Psxpert2011
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    What is it with directors and remaking films??

    Rob Zombie is a good director but he shouldn't remake an already good existing movie and call it by the same name...

    and use same content and warp it...
  • Evil King
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    I haven't seen this remake...glad I haven't. I have only seen Halloween 1 remake once or twice. The first one can be tolerated, but this...this isn't a remake. This is a re-imagining. A terrible one at that.
  • aspire77
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    "let me make things NICE and sparkling clear.."
    Why did he have to say that -_-
    and the Smile at the end was the final fuck you to the audience
    nice work Erod
  • AVPGuyver21
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    Great job as always erod.
  • ladydiskette
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    I just...I don't get it...as you can see from the music video to "Dragula" and "Living Dead Girl" he was inspired by many of the classic horror silent horror movies of our time.


    He named his band "White Zombie" from the movie.


    So how can someone who watches and has a appreciation for classic horror/cult movies that are so good. Turn out this piece of shit?
  • PAPOUCHE
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  • Sewblon
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    If all The Crypt Keeper did was take your weapons out of your apartment, you could probably go to a sporting goods store and buy some guns and hunting knives to replace them temporarily. If you need vampire-specific weaponry, just go to the grocery store and buy some garlic, then go to Home-Depot, buy a thick wooden stick, and whittle it to a sharp point with a kitchen knife. There, problem solved.
  • Lieju
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    Would garlic and stakes even work against Twilight-vampires?

    The reason the vampires in that series are so dull is because they don't really have any weaknesses (apart from looking ridiculous in sunlight).
  • Sewblon
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    Assuming that they would not work, in last year's Halloween Havoc, he busted Twilight: Eclipse with a chainsaw and some #2 pencils. So all he needs to do is go to Staples and Home Depot.
  • ColeYote
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    Tim Curry from Rocky Horror having sex with the Wolfman.

    INCOMING FURRY JOKES! RUN FOR COVER!
  • EpicFish
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    Did I just see Dayton Callie! Woohoo for the Ticket-Taker! Okay, I'm done.
  • Keiji
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    Did the end imply that she was the killer the entire time, and that Michael was dead for the whole movie...?

    WHAT
  • Thatfatguyinalittlecoat  - It might be interesting
    To do a horror movie like I think t his one was trying to. Have a victim be the victim in 2 movies, then have the victim become the murderer. I know it could be only really doable for one movie but it would still be cool if done properly. Like the survivor just had a mental break down. Maybe a fourth one where all goodness was gone and the serial killer was the victim in the fire one It could almost o on forever.
  • alex251960
    I love how you keep destroying the living crap out of The Cat in the Hat!
  • filmbuff2.0
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    I remember when this movie came out on DVD and my brother, who is a big horror fan and actually introduced me to Michael Myers with the original movie, rented it. And he thought this movie was so bad he returned it to the video store on the night he rented it. A few years later I told him that I wanted to see this movie for myself, after hearing him complain that it was the worst movie he had ever seen. Eventual he got his hands on a copy of the movie and left me alone at his place to watch it, since he could not bring himself to sit through it again. However my brother did return halfway through the movie to see how I was doing and at the time I told him that the movie was bad but it wasn't horrible.

    That was until the final scene in the movie. Watching Michael Myers Have his face shown and scream DIE not only destroys the continuity of the last movie but is what I believe to be the closest thing to watching an icon of horror die. I was so enraged by this scene that after that moment happened I yelled NO!!! and head to the front door ready to leave my brothers apartment. I did stick around to watch the rest of the movie though. And all I can say is the ripoff of Psycho was the icing on the cake for this piece of shit.

    FUCK THIS MOVIE!!!
  • neytari
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    Granted, I have not seen the film in question, but it looked like a homage to "Psycho," not a ripoff. Or not enough of a ripoff to warrant such a freak out, since lots of movies have used a shot of someone smiling crazily like that.

    Otherwise, enjoyable. What I like about you is you don't just hate everything and when you do see a sequence you like or one you think was done well, you make a note of it.
  • Thick
    FUCKING WHITE HORSE!!!

    I've read Zombie didn't want to make a sequel... just like Carpenter back in the day. This movie feels like an atempt to avoid a third part... just like wath the original "Halloween II" tried to do back in the day... this one, however, may have succeded...

    It's so messed up, it's like it just gave up in following any tired formula and just gave in to insanity. It's actually amusing.
  • Mr.Bungle  - Sorry, but LARIE IS NOT LIKABLE AT ALL!!!
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    Sorry Erod, I have to completely disagree with you about Larie being a likable character. She is far, far from likable to me. She made the movie so much harder to watch and the only thing that made me finish this turd was the possibility she could die. And trust me, she wasn't killed off soon enough. I've never seen a character as unintentionally annoying as her. SHE COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY DESTROYED THE MAGIC OF THE WORD "FUCK"!!! It's like she said it with every breath she took! You'd be hard pressed to find a sentence without a swear. Don't get me wrong, I'm 100% pro vulgar language but goddamn there's a limit and then there's pushing the limit and being obnoxious for doing so.

    Plus she looks a lot like Ke$ha in the movie, and to me that's just... too much terrible for one character.

    I could go on and on about everything else, but Larie is just the biggest flaw with this movie for me.
  • Bloodrealm
    "SHE COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY DESTROYED THE MAGIC OF THE WORD "FUCK"!!! It's like she said it with every breath she took! You'd be hard pressed to find a sentence without a swear."
    You've never seen a high school, then, have you? They say it so often that they actually lose mental control of when they do it, and they use "fuckin'..." instead of "umm..." when they're trying to think.
  • ParaChomp
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    Great review as usual.

    Seriously though, when will people start to lay off Twilight? The jokes against it were never funny even with a summary of the context in mind, the fans have learned to keep quiet, and I bet a lot of you, myself included, haven’t even read the books giving us no right to judge.
  • harmonicajay
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    This isn't about the books, it is about the films. And no, no one will ever stop making fun of it. My brother in-law has read all the books and this is what he said about the second book, "Everything that happened in it could have been told in almost half the length it took to tell it." The books are padded and full of horrible characters that are just boring and lifeless. And Stephanie Meyers has no idea what the concept of actual romance is. In the first book, Edward admits that he has been stalking Bella and watching her sleep by breaking into her house. Normally, any sane person would get a restraining order and call the cops on him. Instead, she falls in love with him. That is wrong.
    Like I said, this isn't about the books, this is about the movies.
  • qazox
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    MY EYES!!! Can someone stop the bleeding??
  • Larry
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    When looking at a piece of fiction I'm starting to think that fundamentalists maybe have gotten the right idea. Establish a few fundamentals about the content and then make you're story from there. It's how most Christians tolerate each other I think, "Those guys are following the wrong path, but at least they have the same core beliefs we do".

    When looking at that perspective it just looks like Zombie and E-Rod has different ideas of what the fundaments of the franchise is. For mr. Zombie it seemed to be that Michael Myers is a damage resisting serial killer with severe psychological illnesses (maybe more but I haven't seen any of the movies he's been talking about, this is just what I have been picking up on this and other reviews). And E-Rod has a lot more fundamentals (characters personality among them).

    Maybe it is easier to stay calm and not to hate as much if one takes this perspective.
  • Axel Osbourne
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    Sorry Larry, that doesn't work. Zombie's movie doesn't bare any resemblance to Halloween on any level. This isn't a case of him just coming at it from a different view, he changes the story until it's no long connected to Halloween in any way. Using your same analogy, it'd be like a church saying Jesus was 500 pound japanning woman to taught that you could only be saved though sex with chipmunks. Yeah, kind of doesn't work. And (as I said last time) if he had just made this as an original film, it might have worked, but even that can't save the second one because he goes back on the human killer thing, and has Bubba Myers coming back to life, (maybe) his dead mother talking to him (like Jason) the girl being able to see her as well, but then trying to play it like they're both crazy, which doesn't make any sense because she shouldn't even know the mother, plus if they're both just crazy than how did he survive a GUNSHOT TO THE FUCKING HEAD, AND WHAT WAS WITH THAT GODDAMN WHITE FUCKING HORSE, I HATE THIS MOVIE, I HATE IT, AAAAAGGGGG! (Taking breath) I'm sorry, that was rude. (I told you I was holding back) In fairness, this is the only movie that has ever gotten me this mad, I watched Transformers, said it sucked and moved on. But this movie, I died a little inside.
  • Behellmorph
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    So you'll be going after Twilight next...oh boy, can't wait to see how this goes down.
  • Yusa_Greven
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    No don´t do it not twilight!! NOOOOOOOO!!!!!
  • PopCultureOtaku
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    Yeah this movie. God it sucked. I like the first remake but man this sucked. After watching it I was like WTF just happen? The white horse made no sense. Lori going seeing it only makes sense if she inherited some craziness that runs in the whole family or events from I made her lose her mind. By the way I didn't see anyone mention this but I did on blip and AVGN did in his review of it. They changed the ending for DVD release. The theatrical version I saw was different. Michael never talked and Lori was never shot. The ending with her padded white room and seeing the horse was there. Almost implying if there was a third movie she be the killer.
    I also mention on blip that I think there might be a reason why this movies sucks more then any. Rob Zombie didn't give a crap. No really. He said before the movie was made he didn't want to make a squeal. I remember this and then not to long after comes this movie. It shows he didn't want to make squeal because look how crappy this is. They must have bugged the crap out of him and thrown a ton of money at him to make this squeal.
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