Vampire Reviews - Byzantium

(121 votes, average 4.90 out of 5)
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Come see me at ConBravo! July 26-28th, 2013 in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada!

Comments (72)
  • jaw4ever  - MAVEN!!!
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    Sweet! She's back!!
  • CajunKhan
    Finally! A new Maven episode!
  • paiguein
    Great review as always! I don't think you should limit yourself just to vampires though, you are too intelligent for that.
  • CajunKhan
    If there are no new vampire films to review, why not review some older ones?

    "Near Dark", would love to hear you chat about this.

    "Thirst" Korean vampire movie with interesting layers. Would love to hear your opinion of this.

    And that's just off the top of my head. Use this dry-spell to play catch-up on the classics and near-classics.
  • Sockpuppet
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    I always like NEAR DAR.> I'd also love to hear the Mavens take on the Hammer Dracula films, and other stuff from Hammers in the 50s and 70s.
  • Epockismet  - I concur
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    I love to see you review, and there are a lot of good (and bad) foreign vampire movies, especially out of Asia. Maybe someone out there has already reviewed them, but I haven't watched them, and I'd rather see you review them personally ;)
  • Sockpuppet  - Eternally ressurected
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    I think the current batch of vampires, the friendly spaekly variety, are finally dead. Hopefully, the next batch that becomes popular, will actually be scary again.
  • The Fatty Truant  - Kiss of the Damned?
    What about Xan Cassavetes' "Kiss of the Damned"? That's a vampire movie that came out in May 2013; don't know if it's still playing in theaters.
  • mrrubino
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    Only Lovers Left Alive is right around the corner.
  • KiramidHead
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    How about Vampire's Kiss with Nic Cage?
  • ladydiskette  - re: KiramidHead
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    You know what time it is....*clears throat*


    "I AM A VAMPIRE! I AM A VAMPIRE! I AM A VAMPIRE!" *runs around*
  • Melbourne  - blah !
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    I'm so conflicted about going to this con! I've always said to myself, if those guys go to something in my country then maybe I may go see them, and here you are, going to Hamilton lol. I live like 2 hours away from it at most xD I really want to go, too, because I've never been to a con and I enjoy all forms of nerdiness. And also, because I have a book that I've written that I'm shopping around to lit agents right now and I desperately need reviews for it:P The small, newby, somewhat self-centered part of me wants to go to the con with free copies in exchange for opinions xD. Of course, that sort of thing is probably wildly inappropriate. I've asked a few reviewers around tgwtg already to no reply and I don't want to seem needy >.
  • Melbourne  - oops..
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    lol, my rambling caused me to hit the word limit. I meant to say that this review you've done is really spectacular. It's very in depth and patient. I can tell how thoroughly disappointed you were with this movie that you so much looked forward to. I'll have to look around and watch more of your reviews:)
  • Malidictus
    There are few things worse than a self-important movie convinced it's saying more than it is, and vampires seem to have the most of that. Oh, no. Being immortal sucks so bad! Woe is me! There are ways to explore the tragedy and pathos of vampirism, but here's a protip - teenagers aren't it. Even if they do happen to be 200-year-old teenagers.
  • KurasuSoratobu
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    Why not do The Lost Boys? There's some classic, genuinely scary vampires for you! .... well, scary vampires for the 80s, at least. Definitely deliciously evil, and with a great world setup.
  • JoeDawson15  - You're back, finally!!!!!
    Finally, what the hell happened to the Nostalgia Chick Team with Lindsey, you and Nella?
  • fanime1
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    I still want to see this movie, even though the ugly parts seem very valid opinions. Hopefully it gets a wider release because I'm going back home July 4th and I doubt I'll have time to see it in LA before then.
  • JoeCat  - Lifetime?
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    Huh. Granted I have not personally seen this film to confirm, but the way this review paints it, does anyone else get the feeling like this is a "Lifetime Movie" with a vampire motif?
  • Never  - They mostly come out at night, mostly
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    You should watch, Thirst. That is a great vampire movie dealing with becoming a monster, turning others, and dealing with the consequences.
  • Archedgar
    I had watched Filmbrain review this film and all I got from it was "Feminist Vampires"(Insta fail).

    Watching this review, I can see it is far more analytical and complete. From Filmbrain's take on it, the premise was garbage and the movie was sank by it, you can't make such nonsense palatable. But this review makes me believe that they tried incredibly hard and it is very polished, but still fundamentally flawed, because of this there are some aspects in which the film could be enjoyed which makes me think it could potentially be worth a watch in the future.
    I still believe the film is complete garbage because of the horrendous premise, but I found the overall presentation and analysis of this video far superior than others and it won me over to the film a bit. It was both entertaining and enlightening.

    Great job, I enjoyed watching.
    5/5
  • ladydiskette
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    Either way, most people will probably watch this movie because...ITS NOT FUCKING TWILIGHT!
  • Guild Navigator
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    Ze Maven has been asleep for a long while.
  • Basileuskorax
    Cool choice on using Crusader Kings 2's Byzantium tracks in the background there. I totally didn't lose 1/3 of a year playing that game...nope...

    Great review!
  • Redrally
    Good review, although I was a bit distracted by the background music...why was it so familiar?

    Then I realised it was the soundtrack to one of the Assassin's Creed entries, either Brotherhood or Revelations.
  • helli0n
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    Thanks for the review. Do you have plans to watch "Kiss of the Damned?" Its a new vampire movie too. I saw it a few months ago and thought it was pretty decent. ;)
  • 3DMaster
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    But Maven; don't you know why men could just walk into orphanages and rape teenagers of their choice, and just take one off of a beach and sell 'em to a whore house? It's the PATRIARCHY! Yes, men had all power, and all were in a conspiracy to oppress women; men could choose to do anything to women, and women had to comply, they had no agency whatsoever; they simply accepted the state of things. Yes, even fathers totally accepted when another men decided to turn his daughter into a whore! (Secretly he probably put the man up to it, instead of feigning acceptance of the law, after all, men are evil.)

    I mean, as someone who mentions her feminism in the review; you should be familiar with this great truth that the goddess movement revealed to the world.


    I have to say it's nice you rather realized what this is; but I'm still disappointed at you not yet willing to voice it using the correct tone and term.

    So allow me to supply it to you, to use the next time something like this comes up: BULLSHIT!!!
  • Archedgar
    Well said.

    TEH PATRIARCHY ZOMG!!!111ONE1!!!!
  • Veran
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    They are busy making zombie films now.

    Wait 10 years.
  • Merklyn236
    When I heard about this film I was intrigued. Then I saw the trailer. Something about it screamed, "Bad movie! STAY AWAY!" Which really saddened me because both Saoirse Ronan and Gemma Arterton are talented actresses, IMHO.

    Wonderful to see you back Maven!
  • Sylveria
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    Yay more Mavin.

    Can't wait to see this movie show up on Lifetime during one of their "ALL MEN ARE EVIL AND WILL RAPE YOU" marathons.

    This is some of the most transparent nu-feminist crap writing I've seen in some time. Why is the one guy an moustache twirling evil guy? Cause he's a man, and men are evil. Why is "The Brotherhood" a bunch of evil, he-man woman haters? Cause of the patriarchy of course, and men are evil. I'm sure the focus of the writing, heck, I'm sure the impetus behind the writing of this entire play/script/whatever was a woman who had some man-hating, victim complex issues and wanted a platform to show her warped view of the opposite sex.
  • Extreme-Madness
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    Movie about female vampires and villains are male vampires who hate female vampire. * facepalm
    As it is somehow impossible to make a normal movie with the main female characters, without this nonsense with evil woman hater's male characters. I mean really.
  • TheXell  - I know that OST
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    Sneaky little bugger, thought you could sneak that AssCreed OST by me didncha?
  • OldAndNew
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    Vigilante oxymoron: I disagree. She wants to target rapists, and where better to find leads on sexual predators than the hooker grapevine?
  • anonymousdratini
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    Why don't you review the original Dracula movie? The Bela Lagosi one?
    I've always wanted to see you review that.
  • TheaKaran
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    This is the first time I actually liked your make-up, the other times I just thought you made it look over-the-top on purpose (did you?), but this time it looked legitimately good. Anyway, I just needed to get this out of the way.
    I am super glad that you are back, and I can't wait for the 50 shades of green thing. I love your reviews and this one was great (despite the fact that I have not seen the movie, but I plan on it.)
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