Baby Whatever - Nostalgic Baby Dolls

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Comments (180)
  • trlkly
    avatar
    Great Nostalgic video! It was nice to see these all again. My sister had nearly all the ones you mentioned.

    I just wish you'd also gotten into the electronic babies, like Baby-Loves-to-Talk. But they very often didn't do the poop and peeing thing that was your main focus.

    Oh, and Elisa makes the cutest kid! I didn't even recognize her in the first skit.

    BTW, did anyone else think there must have actually been one of these called Baby Whatever?
  • oshunanat
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    I remember a ton of these commercials, but I was completely lacking the maternal gene that would make me want these toys. I'm still not sorry for that nor do I regret it!
  • ManicWebb
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    No wonder mothers are less squeamish than fathers when it comes to changing diapers. Your childhood toys used to piss and poo.
  • ladydiskette
    avatar
    I think they had to recall and remodel the old-fashoned Baby Alives once because of the chewing mechanism on the doll's mouth and the kids that would stick thier fingers in there and get it injured. Huge saftey hazard.


    Plus, with all the synthetic food it built up inside I wouldn't be suprised if it was a breeding ground for maggots and ants if left unchecked and not cleaned out.
  • deadlysin
    Whether boy or girl, I just never got that from toy companies. Who would want as a kid to be cleaning piss and shit? But, apparently someone did.
  • KCfakesmiles
    avatar
    I had baby tumble surprise and baby magic stroller xD

    I took that thing EVERYWHERE with me until I was like, six.

    I never had any of the bodily functions ones though...
  • Ohsha
    Who watches tv? And what porn is Lindsay watching?

    #5
    Lindsay likes that scene for the muscly dudes, same reason chicks like Twillight and 300.

    Funny thing is, as sex-obsessed as guys are portrayed, it's women who can sit through something for 2 hours for a love/lust story alone.

    #2
    How has Transformers changed film-making? There have always been dumb action movies and Michael Bay films have been around since the 90s.



    There aren't any movies I dislike that I'll watch. Even movies I love I scarcely rewatch (if ever) b/c of how well I remember them.
  • mickeyfan5534
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    Loved it. Funny video. Laughing the whole last 2 minutes with the gimmicks.
  • WhiteEyedCat
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    Ha ha those untapped gimmicks would make a fortune!

    I don't think I ever had a baby doll toy, I was more into my little ponies and horse toys didn't have those sort of gimmicks. Apparently horse excrement isn't as charming as human's...
  • mlsterben
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    My sister had a Baby All-Gone! The everlasting supply of plastic cherries actually smelled like plastic cherries. It was pretty nuts.
  • Lady_Ieniemienie
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    great video!

    Now I'm gonna run to my mommy and beg for a baby death wish! Mommy I want one! The girl on the TV says it is cool!
  • Hakajin
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    Oh, God, I remember so many of those commercials! I didn't have Baby Tumble Surprise, but I did have Baby Headstand Surprise. I got it on Christmas morning, and I started playing with it before my parents got up. My mom came in and told me to be quiet because they could hear the head hitting the floor all the way down the hall. I think I used to pretend that doll had some kind of horrible congenital defect when I played with it...
  • melodywolfhart
    Aww, my favorite baby doll wasn't mentioned (of course I didn't own it). There was a doll - I think Cabbage Patch - that would eat food and not stop chewing until the food was gone. They ripped that thing off the market and recalled it because some girls got the hair stuck in its mouth and it would literally rip some of their hair out because it would not stop "chewing". Oh, adults know how to make our childhoods rememberable....and psychologist help us deal with the trama.
  • keniakittykat
    avatar
    Oh, god, baby dolls... Never wanted one, I played with my little ponies, barbie dolls and polly pocket and stuff. But baby dolls? No, just, no.
    (Well, I did have this singing little miss mermaid, but that one doesn't really count as a baby doll.)

    And as a follow up; No, I don't like real babies either, and having a child is my worst nightmare.
  • ReiMeioh
    Seems I'm not the only one. But then when you get older, women can enjoy being aggressive hence baby beat down on Oancitizen LOL.
  • DylanS
    avatar
    There's also a Baby So Real that moved like it was, well, real. All the facial features, the whining, it seemed alive. It was kinda creepy to tell you the truth.
  • DylanS
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    Also, were my eyes deceiving me or in one of the commercial clips, was there an anatomically correct boy doll pissing in the father's face? Yeesh. I really saw that, didn't I?
    I recall that they had a similar doll back in the late 1970s, marketed as Archie Bunker's Grandson, little Joey Stivic. Remember the episode where Archie was left alone with the baby and had to change him? Yeah, that spawned a doll apparently. It was also anatomically correct.
  • bojak90
    avatar
    I'm gonna be perfectly honest here...I did want a baby checkup as a kid.

    Also, I did love playing with my sisters' Quints (I think it was the color of the plastic on their accessories). Though they played with my toys too and often we would create storylines that involved both of our toys (Usually Shredder and Mcdonalds Barbie teamed up with the headless barbies and Gorzak to take over the world and the TMNTs and Polly Pockets had to save the day...with Rocksteady's help). Back to the Quints, we actually used them once and we played they were kidnapped by my sisters' giant rubber spider...and were then killed when my hotwheels failed to save them (yeah, we got messed up at times).

    Also, after seeing the mcdonalds baby, I think we now know the origin of the 17 year old on WTFIWWY that only ate Chicken Mcnuggets.
  • Kar
    I used to be a tester kid for Kenner Toys/Hasbro when my mom worked there, so I remember some of these. The one I actually remember best (aside from that robot poodle they had me to test before they put the fur on it...that thing was creepy) is the McDonald's doll. It ended up being one of my favorites. That wasn't because of the doll, though; I didn't care about the doll at all. My favorite part was that soda cup that made slurping noises when you moved the straw because it drove my mom crazy.

    Also, a reason why the baby alive dolls might not actually eat and poop and pee anymore is because they used to clog if they didn't poop all the food out. That would dry and become almost impossible to clean out.
  • DylanS
    avatar
    "Also, a reason why the baby alive dolls might not actually eat and poop and pee anymore is because they used to clog if they didn't poop all the food out. That would dry and become almost impossible to clean out."

    Baby Alive... now with real life constipation feature.
  • JoeMerl
    Funny! Often horrific, but funny.
  • Varis
    "...That's a terrible surprise!" This line just killed me.

    Did anyone else notice the horrified electrical outlets? Oh yes. They know what's coming.
  • SkullCap  - Likewise
    avatar
    It one of those jokes I'm chuckling at now, but the next time I see a baby doll commercial or here someone say, "surprise" I'm laughing my head off.
  • Kyaramella
    avatar
    Gahhh I WANTED so so so much Baby Rollerblades I dieed for it.
  • Wolfmane
    avatar
    I asked my parents and they said that I never asked for any of these dolls. Probably because I'm terrible at being a girl. I always like to shoot things. And play Power Rangers.
  • ladydiskette
    avatar
    The baby dolls I used to have as a kid were usually hand-me-downs from my two older sisters. Just clean them up, put on new doll clothes, good as new.

    Other than that, I usually played with more stuffed animals and plastic toys than dolls.


    Actually, come to think of it, the only doll I remember actually being bought just for me was this baby doll that was motorized so it would crawl around the floor like a real baby and giggle and say "Mama". One of my sisters always joked around telling her friends that it sounded like my baby doll was possessed by Satan or some shit because of the way it unnaturally sounded when it laughed.

    Chick, can you also do another nostalgic girls toy review on tea party sets? Because I still have mine and actually did the tea party with stuffed animals thing. It would be fun!
  • Ohsha
    Despite her invocation of feminism, Lindsay was honest enough to recognize that companies, as is the nature of capitalism, give people what they want, moreso than determine what societal norms. There are degrees of things sold which no one was asking for (like thongs and crotchless panties for kids) but usually when someone talks about marketing determining what folks believe they make it sound like folks are mindless, with no preferences, which would mean they could be sold anything regardless of value which isn't true.
    If you look at cultural advertising, teachings about the evil-ness of white capitalist men and the glory of diversity, feminism, marxism, and environmentalism as taught in school and the media you'll notice most people, even in western countries, still reject homosexuality, abortion, and other promoted sicknesses. This proves that man will tend to obey the survival instinct of his own form over the contrary messages he's inundated with.

    It'd be interesting to hear some about how the dolls are manufactured and what was the basis for decisions on their materials, palette, etc.

    I remember those Baby check-up commercials. Combines playing doctor with playing house.

    Wasn't Baby Tumble Surprise canceled fast b/c parents didn't want their kids tumbling babies?

    Also, Lindsay missed Cabba Patch Kids and American Girl dolls.
  • The Movie Explorer
    avatar
    Great video! The commentary on Magic Potty Baby in particular had me in tears from laughing so hard.
  • EarthboundXE
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    Haha, loved that ending.
  • founten
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    I had baby tumble surprise, my friend Carly used to hit people with it, so totally know where thats coming from. And I had baby alive, but I never got any of the food refills.
  • OverratedRiley
    Oh my god, so much awesome in this video. I remember a few of those commercials growing up. I remember really wanting the McDonald's girl because I was so amazed by the hamburger trick. We had baby dolls, usually just the ones that did nothing, but between me and my other two sisters we hardly played with them. Me personally I was into animals so I usually got the baby accessories and took the baby doll out and would put Beanie Babies or stuffed dogs in there.

    Also much more recently, my friend and I were at Walmart because our town is so exciting that we spend our time at the local walmart. Anyway we were walking up and down the toy aisles and there was a whole wall of those Baby Alive things. The gimmick for them was that they bounced up and down in their cardboard cribs and could move if you just walked by them. We didn't realize this until we walked by and the whole wall of dolls started moving. It scared the shit out of us.

    Anyway this was a great episode!
  • capnlove  - Baby Nostalgia
    Why not make a line of baby dolls in your likeness : Nostalgia baby!

    Their main feature could be...erm..emitting realistic sighing sounds as they remember fondly the good old days spent in the womb?
  • yahooeny  - Oh my liver.
    This is the most horribly funny thing I've seen in a while. Thank once again, Lindsay for wanting to hug you and wanting to punch your character in the face.
  • Adylure
    avatar
    I love you. That's all I can say. I hardly remember the dolls in the commercials because my sister and I hardly had any baby dolls... But that baby tumble surprise down the stairs had me cracking up! Oh man! Thank you so much. I needed that.
  • TechnoStripe
    avatar
    The only dolls I remember having as a kid was the Quints and Baby Shivers, a doll that was all right, kinda scary looking but if the doll wasn't wearing enough it would 'shiver' it wasn't too bad, but I just remember changing the batteries you had to take off the baby's head and it would always make a horrifying cracking noise.
  • fatalrob0t
    avatar
    I remember wanting many of these dolls so much when I was growing up! I had a few. I think I had Baby Alive, which I got from a garage sale. I had a baby doll that had a hand made dress on it that I got from an auction. I also had a ton of Barbies to play with. (Wish I had the Jem ones. That'd be truly outrageous!)

    My mom, meanwhile, was a tomboy from the very beginning and dislikes children for the most part. Or she really disliked them when she was younger. She actively accused my aunt of enforcing gender stereotypes onto me simply because she had given me a baby mermaid doll, which I completely adored. (It was sparkly and was a mermaid!) She even took it away from me for a small time, before I got it back thanks to my grandpa or grandma, I think. I was in kindergarten at the time, so I don't remember the specifics. I still have no damn clue what got into her. She also never really understood why I liked Barbies to GI Joes, which she always collected. I tended to see GI Joes as better equipped Ken Dolls. It wasn't until I was a teenager that I could appreciate GI Joes as being cool toys.

    And no, my mom isn't some radical feminist, or at least she isn't now. I don't remember much from back then except bits and pieces, such as her arguing with my aunt. In fact she's with me when I balk at what feminism is these days. Feminism didn't start out this way. They didn't hate men. They didn't distrust men. They wanted some measure of equality, to be able to own property and earn equal pay, to be able to vote. It wasn't this insanity of constant victimhood it is now.
  • ender1200
    avatar
    That's bcoues radical feminist are first and foremost radical.
    There are still sane faminist out there working on importent issues. Problem is the media finds sane people boring and so they focus on Vocal minorities, Overbloing an allready overblowen frienge groops.
  • Devilfish
    avatar
    Ender1200 is right. Radical means radical.

    I don't think these baby doll toys are bad for little girls. But then I sort of happen to think that ALL toys are bad for ALL kids.

    Radical is radical, right? It's just, I can't help seeing what I see.

    I've worked with little kids, the age group this type of toy is or was marketed to, and they don't get much out of a doll that pees. Not for very long. They can make it pee, over and over, and maybe emulate grown women caring for babies, but that's it. Push buttons and emulate. No imagination required. These toys can never be more than what they are presented as. Baby. Power Ranger. Mermaid.

    But give a kid a stick, it could be anything. A sword, a witch's broomstick, the mast of a ship, a horse, a flagpole, anything the situation calls for. A bed sheet could be a ghost, a magic carpet, a cape, you get the idea. Baby Pees-a-Lot will only ever be a baby that pees a lot.

    It sort of breaks my heart when I see children who can't play. Half the kids are off having awesome imaginary adventures on the high seas, fighting sea serpents and being pirates, and they're just standing there not knowing how to do it, how to imagine and really PLAY. It's not that I have this romantic ideal about what childhood should be like. Imagination and play is so important to a developing brain, it worries me that a lot of kids can't do it anymore. I don't blame these types of toys specifically, but they're probably not helping.

    So, anti-feminist? Bleh. Female circumcision is anti-feminist. Dolls are dolls. I say screw them and let the kid roam free. If she wants a baby, she'll make one out of mud and leaves like god intended.
  • Kumi
    avatar
    Not sure if you're joking or not.
  • ohe
    avatar
    Uhm... what then exactly did you see the regularly equipped Ken Dolls as? The ultimate accessory, like the Makeover Fairy says? You're not giving much here for comparison.
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