Xena #1
Written by Linkara Tuesday, 28 July 2009 01:51
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Comments (179)
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07.27.2009 - 22:01 | dontknowdontcare
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07.27.2009 - 22:07 | Coldguy
Taking endowments and not making a boob joke...classy! :cheer:
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You didn't answer the first time and I won't ask you a third but by any chance are you going to review a Doctor Who comic?
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07.27.2009 - 22:20 | Linkara
Probably not unless I find a really crappy one.
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07.27.2009 - 22:10 | Cynda95
This review was awesome. Good work Linkara. :)
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07.27.2009 - 22:11 | Nenquest
awesome vid
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"... It's Alec Baldwin and Jeaneane Garafalo, and I won't tell you which is which!"
Best line in the review right there. Those two needed to be taken down a notch.
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07.27.2009 - 22:16 | ChrisHypeLove the video as always Linkara, but isn't slamming a comic like Xena sorta redundant?
I mean, its obvious that a studio that produces 'Vampirerotica Bondage Special' isn't exactly going to whip out the next 'Kingdom Come', so doesn't Xena's idocy sorta speak for itself?
Eitherway, Keep up the good work, Linkara. :)
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The idea for the comic itself sounds interesting...on paper. A lone superheroine who keeps the other super powers in check through brutal justice. The potential for a tyranny to sprout up because of the control of such powers is enormous. I can only assume that if her series survived one issue, she would have joined some manner of resistance or do a heel turn.
But as you've said, in the end it's bland. It's like that chocolate flavored rice cake that you know will taste like cardboard, but when you look at it you think, "well, I'm sure it'll taste awesome this time."
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Is it just me, or right at the end, did it seem like she basically was playing the role of a hooker?(No offense intended by that.)
I mean... She just randomly meets up with that guy, via some "dating service", and less then a minute after meeting him, starts suckin on his face like a Hoover!
I must agree with you Linkara, this comic did indeed suck. :whistle:
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07.27.2009 - 22:31 | SengAhh a comic book company that tries to get all it's money by making badly named erotica comics. Sounds like a pretty sucky company.
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07.27.2009 - 22:34 | JimmydelaKopin
Wow...that was pretty awful. --the comic, I mean. Artwork less polished than a Silverwolf comic, the dark plotting of a Brass Age comic (what with all the vigilantism), and the mix of exposition and plot from too many indie comics.
And if the writer needed to explain something, it was the costume! If Xena and others have superpowers, then why the tacky clothing? Is it symbolic, functional, are they uniforms, what? Really, you'd think that supervillains that KNOW a person with even more superpowers is hunting them down to kill them would try being a bit less conspicuous. Sheesh... :pinch:
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07.27.2009 - 22:35 | LChristianne
Best part of this review: the paradox song. :cheer:
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07.27.2009 - 22:38 | Tren
Who am I?
WHO AM I?!
...I'm the goddamn Batman?
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07.27.2009 - 22:38 | nataliswolfthe last line is so true....terrible terrible comic...but absolutly nothing comparted to that artrocious mess countdown *shudders*
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I was thrilled to hear my theme submission featured here. Thank you!
Naturally, a splendid review as always.
Cheers!
- Josh C.
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07.27.2009 - 22:58 | LinkaraGlad you enjoyed it!
...though I'm running out of good songs to use. XD
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07.27.2009 - 23:04 | Morte McAdaverWell, if you find yourself in short supply of closing themes, I can always whip up another one and get one of my sultry lady singers to do some 50's style evening serenade. B)
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Isn't that a law for all books now? (If so twilight broke that law). And whats with the rape thing? There are like 10 different ways that could've went down and they chose rape? That tells you something about the creators.
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07.27.2009 - 22:48 | Punky
awful comic, but awesome review as always!
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07.27.2009 - 22:55 | Chosen Zelos
I'm surprised you didn't think "Team Rocket" when confronting Mr. R.
No, what's truly sad is [b]I[/b] thought that. :pinch:
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07.27.2009 - 22:56 | magiczepplin
I have found Someone else awesome on this website LINKARA YOU ARE A GOD!!
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07.27.2009 - 22:58 | that_kid_in_the_awesome_hat
The main character doesn't have to be likable *cough* NARUTO *cough*..... but it helps :] (great review linkara )
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07.27.2009 - 23:15 | Shinigami
"Least its not Countdown" :D
That was funny and right on the spot.
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I guess it´s supposed to derivate from the male name "Xenos", meaning "strange" or "foreign" in greek.
But in that case they could´ve just stuck with Barbara, as that name has the same meaning.
... and doesn´t really make sense anyway.
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07.27.2009 - 23:46 | underthepaleYOU BETRAY THE LAW!
Ah, it's so easy to forget about these indie comics, and how bad many of them were...
Not your best episode, but I guess you need to wind down after Countdown. Probably should have done Hammer Girl, though. That sounds like it'd be amusing.
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07.28.2009 - 00:12 | Lybra
NOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WWWWWWWWWWWWWGH!
Good to see things have gone back to normal atop the fourth wall... FOR NOW! *Thunderclap!* I can't imagine how taxing it must've been to do Amazons Attack and Countdown in succession. Keep up the good work, Link. You're pretty consistently entertaining where some of the other contributors tend to fluctuate now and again (not naming names).
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Since, I don't really know how exactly to send you this direct, I'll just post it here. I recommend you Take a Gander at Journey Into Mystery vol 1 #93 "The Mysterious Radio-active Man!"
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[color=maroon][/color] Well you can see why they did porno comics, there non porno stuff is dull and bland. And the only guest stars they can afford are from other bad comics.
Another great and Funny review, I tip my hat to you good sir in a hat lol.
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[quote=That Guy With The Jew-Fro]You didn't answer the first time and I won't ask you a third but by any chance are you going to review a Doctor Who comic?[/quote]
Do you know any bad Doctor Who comics, I've read a good few myself and found them to be quite enjoyable. Also many people such as Alan Moor, Dave Gibbons, Mike McMahon and John Ridgway have worked on Doctor Who comics, now I'm not the kinda guy who says they everything they do is great cos they have done great comics, but truth is what I have read is great. Especially John Ridgways artwork on the sixth Doctor run in DWM.
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07.28.2009 - 00:20 | testzero
From what I saw of the comic, it didn't seem all that terrible. Way too short. No plot at all. But the premise seemed kind of interesting: A vigilante enforcer who polices other superhumans, thus forcing superhumans to subscribe themselves to a totally different set of laws and morality than humans do, whether they like it or not. In the hands of a good writer, that could be a pretty epic concept.
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07.28.2009 - 00:23 | monotar
You know, the issue of a hero who is questionable actually sounds kinda interesting.
I'm gonna go read some Punisher :b
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Yet another excellent bashing of yet another deserving crappy medium Linkara.