Marville #6-7

(89 votes, average 4.79 out of 5)
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Comments (127)
  • Dead Planet
    avatar
    Ah! great timing! Something to do while I wait for my Sherlock fix to finish downloading. (:
  • ToastyMozart
    avatar
    You could just use Hola and watch it on the BBC Website :P
  • ombranox
    avatar
    Thank you. I didn't know Hola was a thing... until now.
  • Dead Planet
    avatar
    Neither did I. I've tried several things but never heard of Hola. Thank you ToastyMozart.

    I have BBC, but my dvr done fracked things up and waiting until it airs in the Netherlands is messing up my 'schedule', this Sunday I'll make sure I'm on the couch in time. d;
  • Ecartman12  - Sherlock
    Lol. Do you mean the new Sherlock Series 3? It really is one of the best shows ever made. JJ Abrams and Peter Jackson actually pushed back the production dates so they could wait for the actors to finish filming Sherlock so they can act in their movies. It's no coincidence that they both appeared in The Hobbit.

    I give the show 10/10.
  • Gift of the Magi
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    First season was good, the second was godsawful and insulting...so I'm meh about season 3.
  • StarWars Fanatic  - FIRST COMMENT
    Love this review, seemed to connect his review with the format by having somewhat of a recap. Loved it!
  • Elrik Undersn
    avatar
    And thus Marville ends... Yeah, can't say I'm going to miss it. Or if I did it's only because my aim was off and adjustments will soon be made. The series was awful, the recap was awful, and the overall whiny message at the end just cemented why one shouldn't care about this series all that much.
  • Gborr
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    I am going to miss it. It was fun to look forward to them, as they always delivered the dumb for Lewis to work with.

    Actually, is there any other consistently awful comics like this still laying in wait out there?
  • ladydiskette  - re: Gborr
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    I think he said there were a few ASBAR comics still out there (one of my favorite comics for him to review) but its hard to say when he will get around to those.
  • Gborr
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    Yeah, but those are "awful", not dumb. I mean, they are bad because they butcher established characters and whatnot, but they are not conceptually -dumb- like Marville.

    Now that I think about it, there are a few other comics that were close to the same dumbness level as Marville, if not necessarily up there, like Sultry Teenage Super-Foxes or Psycho-man. I wish Lewis would do more od that "quality level", though I can also understand why he would want to pace them out instead of taking them in large dosages...
  • James Picard  - Check Linkara's Blog
    He often posts schedule updates there. And, you're in luck, he's planned to release a review of ASBAR #7 on 1/20/14. Wonder what he'll have to say about Black Canary this time.
  • LikaLaruku
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    The first two issues were at least "so bad it's funny," why couldn't they stick to that formula?

    "The last issue is a recap." Trolololol.

    Imagine the kinds of mindfuckery you'd get if Marville crossed over with Ultimate Warrior & Kamandi.

    I haven't seen Lewis this angry since he reviewed Man of Steel. Gives Joe a run for his money.

    Am I the only one who actually prefers B&W comics over colored ones?
  • Theluiginater  - What a long, strange trip it's been.
    We have finally reached the final wall of the loony bin and now we're ready to check out for a while. Marville Number 7 having nothing to do with Marville is just amazing and depressing: It's as though even the creator didn't want anything to do with the series, but editorial mandate or some bullcrap like that ordered he stick it in like that.

    But when this is all said and done, let us rejoice in the fact that we shall never have to deal with these complete and utter wastes of print, time, and effort again.
  • Cirrra
    Wow...Bill Jemas. Where's that clip from Han Solo about being out of it for a little while...? :P


    Thank you, Linkara! I loved the previous, well-placed clips, especially those of your insanity. So cute!
  • Sulfur  - Brilliant!
    You have really good reviews, tyhey alwas have high level, but this one is paricularly good. You build jokes upon jokes, your anger is hilarious, and finnaly you broke me with "they killing creature to show compassion" and then showing this clip with guys throwing donuts. I tried to watch this scene several times to try to hear what he is saying exaclty, but I can't, becuase I burst out laughing and crying out of laugh. Well done.

    I guess he is saying "what a a fuckstickle"?
  • Linkara
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    It was Weird Al, and he was saying "what the Fudgesicle."
  • The MegaNerd
    Marville is done! Finally! If it wasn't for Magfest i'm sure you probably would have done something to celebrate, I know I am.
    When's the next Miller Time? are you saving Holy Terror for a special? if so I'm more then happy to see the next Robocop vs. The Terminator or All-Star Batman and Robin.
    Did I mention that Miller Time is one of my favourite segments of the show? I actually got into this show after watching the episode of All-Star Batman and Robin #5.
    Great Review as always, can't wait to see what you do next.
  • No_Name256  - We
    We are watching you. Linkara. We can see your soul.
  • NostalgiaCriticPhycoFan
    Words can not describe how awful this comic series must have been, I will pray that you have a quick recovery from the insanity that you must have after reading this crap. And it will be to the real god not the one that made talking platypuses that some how turn into Wolverine.
  • ladydiskette
    avatar
    How a editor was able to keep his sanity trying to piece together this comic book is still a mystery to me.

    Glad you survived the madness Linkara.
  • DMaster
    Given the spelling and continuity errors in the comic, what is this "editor" of which you speak?
  • The MegaNerd
    And yet this still makes more sense then Southland Tales...
  • Zachary Amaranth
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    I think Linkara broke my sarcasm detector near the end there.
  • Darth Resentus
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    dang it I wanted to see him burn that P.O.S.
  • Gborr
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    Actually that is a fair point. If any comic deserved a burning it is the Marville series...
  • Undertaker91
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    If you wait til after the credits, he apologizes for not having time to burn the comics. He was going to Magfest so he ran out of time to film a shot of him burning the comics
  • That Anime Chick
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    Oh thank heavenly Jesus/Allah/Buddha/ Celestia/Madoka this comic is over! Seriously, it fails in so many ways its not even funny! (Gives the comic the "Double Deuce") Bill Jemas, GO. TO. HELL.
  • plutias pet
    avatar
    I'm actually gonna miss the Marville characters, they were like that annoying friend you wish would leave you the eff alone but once there gone you wish they were there. Oh well, I can always watch the reviews over again. GET YOUR MARATHON ON!!!
  • oddtail
    Any opportunity to pick on Marville is good, so:

    This is minor (it's not a HUGE error or anything), but still contrary to the established scientific consensus. The mass extinction that led to the extinction of, among others, most dinousaurs (I'm writing "most dinosaurs" because all birds ARE technically dinosaurs in pretty much every respect) was not the only extinction event. There were a few so-called great extinctions. They didn't leave so much evidence (like fossils), but there is still ample evidence for them. It's even speculated that they may have kickstarted progress of some types of life that were marginal before the playing field has been cleared, so to speak. It's not impossible that things like multi-cellular life or land animals or flowering plants would not come into existence without the dominant lifeforms at the time of their creation not getting extinct.

    So:

    1) The question "why didn't God let the meteors fall and THEN create life" is moronic, because it treats an even that wiped out much life on Earth like something that happened only once and was unique, and
    2) Even if the comic wanted to be preachy and ideological, there's a better way to phrase it without going counter-factual.

    Of course, trying to convince us that one-celled organisms shouldn't die and we should feel sad for them, and then later trying to convince us that it'd be a good thing if a (hypothetical) thinking, sapient civilization was wiped out to make the production of plastics possible 65 millions of years later (which still doesn't make sense, oil formation does not work that way)...

    ...yeah, seems a bit inconsistent.

    Oh, and by the way - great review, even as Marville reviews go! I especially like the, for the lack of a better word, pacing of it. I thought the meta-joke of going back to a lot of reviews would get old fast, but it didn't. It was mixed just the right way with jokes about the actual comic.
  • Extreme-Madness
    avatar
    Geological evidence points to a total of five mass extinctions, of which the most massive was Permian extinction (97% of all life that existed at that time), the consequence of that disaster, almost all of the mammal-like reptiles(Synapsids) are extinct , except direct ancestors of mammals, after that the world was ruled by crocodile-like reptiles (Crocodylomorpha) until it happened Triassic extinction, and only after that dinosaurs will become and remain the dominant forms of life the next 160 million years, until disaster that occurred 65 million years ago after which mammals became dominant forms of life on Earth.
  • trlkly
    avatar
    Not to mention that, even in the worst extinction, some life survived that evolved to survive. Evolution, you see, happens in response to external stimuli.

    So if "God" created life after the extinction event, it would not have what it has.

    And, anyways, the whole thing wouldn't really come up if the guy hadn't made dinosaurs FREAKING SAPIENT!
  • YetAnotherGuyWithGlasses  - Bill Jemas' Open Letter
    avatar
    Did no one in Marvel's Legal Department want to say to Bill "Mr Jemas, you do know that some of the stuff you've put into that Open Letter in Marville #7 can be seen as libellous?"

    Or were they too scared of the President of the company?
  • Sewblon
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    I am not sure how true this actually is, but I heard that in the U.S. it is so difficult to actually convict anyone of libel that no one bothers to file suit in the first place most of the time.
  • Fangheart
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    okay, I'm very sorry for being "that guy" but I can't hold back any more, Linkara, I just have to say it: I really REALLY miss your old outfit....
  • Rue_Ryuzaki2
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    Yeah I wonder about whether Bill can be sued over that in issue #7

    Well now that this fail has been put in its proper place, lets cheer Linkara on as he is soon to experience the baffling of miller time once again, very soon.
  • Hariman
    The ending of Marville #6 reminds me of M. Night Shyamalan's role in "Lady in the water"

    It's Bill Jemas saying "I'm brilliant and it's YOUR fault you don't understand me!"

    Also, for a Black and White comic that is actually well worth reading, and very, very good, I give you:

    Digger: By Ursula Vernon
    http://diggercomic.com/? p=3

    A Wombat named "Digger of unnecessarily convoluted tunnels" encounters a pocket of bad air while digging underground, and ends up digging her way into an unfamiliar land, and an adventure she never expected.

    The early art is good, if a bit rough at times, and improves over the course of the comic.
  • Bobzeaux
    I know the point of promoting B&W comics is to call attention to the indies, but Batman Black & White is usually pretty good too. Plus, if comic creators are worried about ridiculous amounts of continuity turning off potential readers, why not give them a handful of short stand-alone stories that have nothing to do with each other? lol
  • Falconfly
    avatar
    Oh God, Digger was so good. I cried when it ended :(
  • Hariman
    Oh, Digger is also available in an Omnibus version, which I own and recommend, as it includes an epilogue and extras.

    http://www.amazon.com/ Digger-Complete-Omnibus- Ursula-Vernon/dp/ 1936689324/ref=sr_1_10? s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=13890 31168&sr=1-10
  • Larry  - Dear Bill!
    avatar
    Dear Bill! Can I call you Bill? While philosophy is a valuable subject unfortunately science and facts of life can't be figured out by thinking hard about it and crafting explanations that seem to be in line with our perspectives on the world. Many phenomena are invisible to our perspective such as the earth moving around the sun and not the other way around. That is why in science we require EVIDENCE for claims. Claims without evidence - such as those you made about early societies being so peaceful and "medicine men" being responsible for the division of "homo sapiens" into tribes that suspect and don't trust each other - can be disregarded out of hand. Because you have none.

    Also neanderthals are animals just as humans are. And we can empathize with other animals, just look at how a lot of us treat pets and animal activists.
  • Carewolf
    I agree. And thank you for saying it. I thought I was the only one keeping animal activists as pets.
  • Ess Tii Eph Yu
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    Bill Jemas...the only man on Earth who can make Joe Quesada and Dan Slott look intelligent and rational by comparison.

    Great review, great series of reviews, Linkara. Never stop being superb, sir.
  • ColeYote
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    New Marville review! Yay! And... dammit, now I've gotta take an hour to watch the other videos in this series!

    Wait, why am I angry about that?
  • Minion of Yahtzee  - HURRRAAY
    avatar
    OH THANK ZEUS THE EVIL IS OVER! The final issues of Marville. Bring it on Bill Jemas. I doubt there is anything dumber that you can dish out then the talking Jewish duckbills or that the first man was Wolverine who evolved from a sea otter. However, this, wow you couldn't even be bothered to come up with something new to top off the nonsense parade. The comic book equivalent of a clip show and a tirade about how people just didn't get your grand awe inspiring vision of the world. WHAT DID WE DO TO DESERVE THIS BILL? I hate you, Marville and everything it stands for.
  • Baby Hitler
    avatar
    Worst comic in history. I'd rather be reading about the Ultimate Warrior right now.
  • Baby Hitler
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    According to Wikipedia there's a commune (town) in France (Meuse departement) of 532 people names "Marville". Bill Jemas owes 532 Frenchmen a big apology!
  • Mousy Voice
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    I often wondered what could possibly be worse than five issues of bad parodies, asinine theologies, and the most insipidly misinformed representation of science since the complete works of Ray Comfort? When you announced that the sixth issue just recaps the other five, my jaw hit the floor. That has got to be the stupidest way of ending a 6 issue minis. But at the same time, it also adequately illustrates how sanctimonious and narcissism this comic really is. Go to Hell, Bill Jemas.

    Also, and I could be wrong about this, but I think Al and the editor meant to say "anthropology," not "archeology." Archeology is the study of human history and civilization through sites and artifacts. Anthropology is the study of humankind in general, including biology, evolution, psychology, zoology, ecology, etc. Of course, I'm arguing semantics with Marville so what do I know?
  • zipperintheback
    avatar
    ...

    You know what this comic series reminds me of? Gene Ray. The Time Cube guy.

    Both Ray and Jemas used the same kind of waffling, incoherent dream-logic to make a grandstanding, overly-self-important, oversimplified answer to life, the universe, and everything. Both "theories" are not supported by facts, can't stay on one subject too long before going off on some socio-political or metaphysical tangent, string together disparate threads between vastly different concepts too easily without realizing there's a few more degrees of Kevin Bacon between subjects like "why animals kill" and "world peace" than a straight A-to-B line, and at the end of the day, both are really just pseudo-philosophical musings that made a lot more sense inside of the creators' rambling minds when said minds are on a roll than it did when put to pen and paper.

    ...Gene Ray is almost certainly senile and insane. What's your excuse, Bill Jemas?
  • tecpaocelotl
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    How many issues of marville are there?
  • msirae
    i thought this day would never come. been waiting for this review for ages. this is gonna hurt.
  • Film Runner
    avatar
    How much do you want to bet that someone will email Linkara to defend Marville?
  • Dacilriel
    Man I'm glad you won't have to suffer through any more of this idiocy.

    "Evolution taught animals to limit their compassion to their own species"

    Well I guess we can forget all those real-world accounts of dogs nursing orphaned kittens and horses making friends with goats and oh yeah, HUMANS bonding with PETS.

    I don't really know anything about Bill Jemas, but that open letter at the end makes him sound like an outrageously egotistical prick.
  • The MegaNerd
    OH MY GOD! OH MY...It just hit me!
    Marville was never meant to be taken seriously! Bil Jemas never really meant any of it! Neither the parody nor the science!
    It was all an elaborate ploy to create a comic book series about just the sort of stuff he thought wouldn't sell so he could springboard Epic Comics!
  • Every idea and philosophy about human relations, politics, and religion is utterly, despicably wrong! for example we Russians still hate Germans naturally and they probably fear us, I don't personally I like German culture almost as much as my own, a minor example I know but this stupidest American brainless fart guy Bill Jemas should be mind as well should be scalped and burned at the stake by Islamic fundamentalist terrorists or devout Muslims which will not be so bad come to think of it in our human nature.
  • The good thing Muslim Americans can do is bomb parts of the Marvel headquarters or burn all the Marville story comics and all Americans should do it and hang Bill Jemas.
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