The New Guardians #1

(148 votes, average 4.82 out of 5)
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Comments (219)
  • tru_power22
    Not the funniest episode but funny none the less.
  • Inkpress00
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    Let's be fair, Linkara can't top himself in Millertime.
  • ladydiskette
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    True, I honestly believe Millertime is his best time :)
  • ninethrizzle
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    I definately rank this up there with the funniest. one of my favorites.

    I don't think you can really compare anything to the perfect concoction that is a miller time episode.

    I love snowflame. end of story
  • Bullderdash
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    SNOWFLAME HAS ANSWERED OUR PRAYERS!
  • ladydiskette
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    Yeah, I never read any comics with him in it nor did my brother have comics of him, so I never knew about Snowflame until Linkara started talking about him in his reviews.


    But with that being said and how eagerly Linkara talked about him. I wish I could have read those comics as a kid. Though considering what his power was I doubt my mom would have allowed my brother or myself to waste our allowance on a comic with him in it.


    So, long story short, The Guardians are basically like the government.

    And not to sound like a complete and total sheep (baaaa) but I am with everyone here about how that guy who played Snowflame was just awesome and stole the show! You should have him on again if you ever do another comic review that features Snowflame. He was just hilariously priceless :)
  • DMaster
    This truly is one of...THOSE kinds of stories, the kind that if you were to completely invert the premise, it would still be pure BS. Were this a movie, it would undoubtedly be in IMDB's bottom 100 along with the rest of the "lighthearted" fare of the ilk of the Baby Geniuses series.
  • ladydiskette
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    You know, to be honest I thought that Linkara was going to do a review of that one comic book from the eighties with the baby that dies of AIDS prompting the one superhero to come out of the closet and this other superhero lamenting over the lack of media coverage over the death of his gay son and...you guys aren't you going to believe me aren't you?
  • Rockabore
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    Northstar? Yeah I heard about that whole AIDS baby plot. It didn't sound like it would be a great comic to review TBH, never read it but it dealt with lots of issues that might upset people.
  • ladydiskette
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    Yeah, I thought about it for a couple of days and considering how depressed Linkara was over Dracula's baby getting shot, I am sure having a baby die of AIDS might hot some beserk buttons with him.


    I am not his keeper, so I don't know how he thinks, but just a guess really. Still its nice to know I am not the only one who has heard of it.
  • darkness shade sonata
    you know snowflame, if cocaine fuels your powers, what does CRACK do? it has cocaine in it after all
  • Crunchy_Frog
    I prefer the spice from Arrakis. ;-)
  • sprezzatura
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    hee heeee... Dune humor! :D
  • AJRimmer
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    Dude that played Snowflame, that was awesome. Sorry Linkara, he stole the show from you. I don't know how anyone could run around in the cold in that costume and make snow angels. The comic itself, for a 1988 comic it could have been far worse. And the A.I.D.S. thing, 1988 was not a time where we had a tremendous amount of knowledge about the disease. Hell, at the time it was pretty much believed to be a homosexual disease. So, I can forgive the comic writers ignorance of how it was transmitted, most people were. But, yeah, the comic as a whole, a very corny idea. A cyborg, a gay man, and a tree, how is that not a setup for a joke?
  • 10.0.0.1
    I wonder if they walk into a bar together at some point in the series.
  • ladydiskette
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    3:65-OMG OMG OMG OMG! LINKARA HAS CUTE PLUSHIES ON HIS COUCH! AND THEY ARE SO CUTE! *squees* I sooo want them!


    ....including Bear :D
  • Inkpress00
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    It would be a better scene than a Vulcan, a human, and a Romulin walking into a bar.
  • TheLaughingFish
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    Actually, I *think* the 'guy' that plays Snowflame in this is Iron Liz, judging by the voice. Certainly sounds like her voice.
  • Angelofdeath690
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    SNOWFLAME watches you watch this!!!!

    Great review Linkara keep up the great work!
  • Varis
    What an awkward comic... yet I'm quite interested to see how the babymaking goes.

    Showflame is so cute and hyper! You'll never get those shoes back, by the way.
  • PopCultureOtaku
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    Snowflame came back to life with reboot. Oh no! It was either that or he was missing black lantern ring. :)
  • AliaOfTheKnife  - SNOWFLAME FEELS NO PAIN!
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    This wasn't how I expected Will to appear in the current story arc, but hey, may as well show off the costume.
  • SadSarah
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    It is interesting that once again it is the gay male charecter who gets Aids even though in reality straight people of both genders get Aids. Nice to see the continuation of the "well he's gay so he's gonna get aids" sterotype.
  • Flaregun
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    Well, again, 1988, the height of fear, paranoia & genuine ignorance about AIDS. Even if there *were* some scientists who kinda had a handle on the true nature of the disease, the consensus was just starting to come together and hadn't exactly stood the test of time. So I'm willing to cut the comic some slack about having some outdated ideas about AIDS.
  • FishEyenoMiko
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    Yeah, I thought of that, too. of COURSE the gay guy gets AIDS. Fuck you, comic. Just... fuck you.
  • sprezzatura
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    lol no kidding- that's what i thought was funny, that they were supposed to be spreading awareness about taboo issues with this comic, and they just managed to spread bunk rumors like "AIDS victims are always gay, and so much as touching them can give you TEH AIDS too! And possibly the gay."
  • thorondragon
    but with a twist!!!!!! he gets aids in a way that is impossible and not through homosexual intercourse!!! through being scratched and bit!

    seriously that was stupid. you would think that, as stupid as those guardians were, they would at least make them immune to damn aids or something that, you know, may hamper the idea of reproduction.
  • valereth
    Nice Hitchhikers Guide reference.

    Snowflame is awesome. Comics need more Snowflame.
  • auxFACTOR
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    jamiroquai FTW
  • Parasite  - SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWFLAME!!
    Burns with awesome.
  • ultramanmattia
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    I love anti-conservative stories, but this comic is really ignorant and silly.
  • veddabredda  - Good stuff.
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    "Mostly harmless."

    Heh.
  • Lieju
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    It doesn't make any sense how they even approach the breeding and passing on their genes.

    Why would it be any issue one of them is gay? Just use artificial insemination, it would be probably the best way to do it for everyone.

    It's like the totally forgot they have technology. Probably even much more advanced that we have, so they could probably have kids without even getting the women pregnant, by using machines to grow the fetuses in, or surrogate mothers.
  • BGWG  - Ram and Floro can possibly have kids
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    Ram may be functional down there and Floro can possibly have childern as evidence by Tefé Holland *The Daughter of Swamp thing and Abby Holland* And the women don't seem to be protesting to doing it the old fashion way.
  • Inkpress00
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    Good point. Also, it's not like it even matters if the sex is enjoyable for Forgettable Gay Stereotype Guy. If the point of the team is to procreate, who cares if he doesn't like it? Besides, it's not like Spoony's right and gay is a transferable disease or genetic disorder. It's not gonna get passed down to his children or whatever.
  • Dazmund
    Snowflake likes to wub wub. I think you're resisting the urge to corpse, Lovhaug.
  • RokuroCarisu
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    I can't belive you missed the opportunity to insert an "Eating kittens is wrong!" clip at 15:15. ^^'

    And... I seriously seriously thought your Snowflame was Liz for a second. Glad I was wrong. o_O
  • Inkpress00
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    I thought he was a woman too, until I realized that he had no boobs. Kind of a tip off.
  • Da Erkka
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    Yeah within the first ten seconds I realized this was going to be good.
  • Inkpress00
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    When I saw that the vid's screenshot was the pyramids before loading it, I knew it was going to be good. Ancient Egypt was totally evil.
  • Dicrel Seijin
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    The return of Snowflame was hilarious.

    I'm glad I didn't pick this up when I was collecting comics as a kid (well, maybe #2 for Snowflame).

    Oh, and as to "pillow girls" I think they were referring to "pillow books" (just Google it, there is no real way to explain it in NSFW terms).
  • FunkyM
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    SNOWFUNK APPROVES OF THE SNOWFLAME CAMEO! :)
  • Invader C-8
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    Gah, that comic was horrible. Oh, and that was really great giving Jet that stereotyped African accent in the comic. Yep, not racist at all.

    Wonderful review, Linkara. And Snowflame rocks!
  • dennett316
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    It wasn't African, she was from the UK via Jamaica. Jamaican me crazy!! And just wondering, how is portraying an accent in text racist? Those accents and inflections DO exist, what's wrong with depicting this particular character with one?
  • Linkara
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    As someone else who has done a written review of this comic before stated, it's not so much that the accent exists but rather the writer doesn't know how the accent works beyond a stereotypical way of speaking. Different languages have inflections, phrases, and other such minutiae that affect why they talk a certain way and instead of learning about that, they instead just write it phonetically how it sounds to them and it becomes silly and a bit offensive.
  • Archane
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    ROFL. Snow Flame made this episode Linkara. Turned it from Average to awesome because the first issue is no where near as great as the second with Snow Flame!
  • pharmmajor
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    A couple of friends of mine on Twitter were inspired by this video and are promoting the Snowflame/Ultimate Warrior presidential ticket for 2012. Who wants to jump on the bandwagon?
  • redhairsword
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    Me. Oh yes a thousand times. THIS is the ticket for 2012! Drug scandals? Well, it can't really rightly be called a scandal when the candidate is FUELED by drugs, now can it?
  • Obstreperous
    They must have a hell of a campaign running!

    As it stands, they'll most likely be running against Insano/Hitler of the Evil Scientist party.
  • JethroQ
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    "you know snowflame, if cocaine fuels your powers, what does CRACK do? it has cocaine in it after all"

    Like diesel to a petrol engine, I guess. And crack doesn't "have cocaine in it", it's just cocaine in a different form. Only other component is baking soda. I don't know how the process works, but it just does. FWIW, I hear that the difference between a coke high and a crack high is that the crack high is more intense, but ends faster. It's also more addictive.
  • BGWG  - Figured it out
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    Tefe holland the daughter of Swamp thing, she was created by something similar to the old fashion way so Floro can possibly have kids, though the process to create Tefe was a 1 in a million shot as the Green(the life force of the earth) only made her because of they thought her dad was dead, and in order to save it's life Alec had to take the body of Constantine and do it the old fashion way and magically implant the seed into his wife's body....yep it's weird as it sounds.
  • Shinigami
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    Snowflame stole the show.
  • Inkpress00
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    And the cocaine. ALL OF IT.
  • zipperintheback  - On purpose?
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    I'm not going to pretend I know what was going on while this comic was being made or understand writer-editor politics when it comes to making a book, but...I mean, the book took the time to make your point about how Harbinger and Not-Fire there have the same powers and thus having both is pointless, and the gay guy outright stated that he didn't even know what he was doing there. It kind of seems like the writer might be rebelling against the team roster; was the roster mandated?

    Also...good on you for having the Slifer promo! You always have the best toys at your disposal. EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS FEEL NO PAIN!
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