Its like Looking into the ark of the covenant.

Shield your eyes!

I... can't. ...It's beautiful. ...YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! !!!! (BOOM!)

I am literally sounding like Tim Curry in Congo here screaming "No! NO!" when they showed Jesus pulling himself off the cross. I am a christian that reads the bible and so I can tell you that NO HE WOULDN'T DO THAT!

If he wouldn't pull himself down from the cross for the Pharisees what makes them think he would do it for the pagan gods of whom he was trying to convert his children from!?!?

I mean....he was suppose to DIE ON THAT CROSS FOR OUR SINS! I don't mean to bring a religious argument into this but having him do this in the comic defeats the purpose of why he had to be tortured and crucified on there in the first place.



Thank god for Doug Walker's funny scene or else I would have slammed my keyboard in outrage. Linkara, tell Doug that my keyboard thanks him. lol

My thoughts exactly! What happened there, after hours of the entirety of Jerusalem hurling insults and pain at him, one diss from Zeus and Jesus was all, "Well screw humanity! I've got to teach that dude with the lightning bolt a lesson!" Makes. No. SENSE!!!

I know right! That is what I had always been told in Bible Study, he had to die so he could rise again! Once again not to start a relgious debate here but...that was one of the things that made him admirable to worship in the first place, he could have saved himself if he wanted to be CHOOSE not to. Its like they took that and said...the fuck with it! Who cares he is going to beat up Greek Gods.



Also too, poor Central Minnesota, I wonder if the governer is going to call for a all out state-wide evacuation if this keeps up.

Have you ever herped and then derped at the same time?

[q]Have you ever herped and then derped at the same time?[/q]


Is that a medical condition?
I hope its not fatal.

Not to mention, not a Christian myself, but I'm preeeetty sure Jesus never actually claimed to be a god himself, did he? I mean, okay, he's got people arguing about whether or not he's a prophet, or the promised Messiah, or the actual Son of God all around him; and I know he himself referred to Jehovah/Yahweh/JHVH as his father (although whether in a metaphorical "Our Father, Who art in Heaven..." or a literal "God is my Daddy" kind of way I don't believe is ever made clear *by him*)-- but did he ever go around claiming that *he, himself* was literally a god, the same as YHVH, Zeus, Thor, Shivah, etc etc etc are gods? Because I'm pretty sure not, which pretty much negates Zeus's entire "So this puny guy calls himself a 'god', does he?" speach/motivation, doesn't it?

Man, this thing fails on so many levels...

In the eyes of Zeus Jesus would be seen as a god due to being the son of God. Regardless of ones views of Christianity or Jesus, from Zeus' standpoint, it makes sens for him to call Jesus a god in the same way that he would call his son Apollo a god. In addition to this there is the miracles that confirm his divinity.

As far as whether or not Jesus is God, it really depends on your view. To most Christians, though, Jesus is God because of the circumstances surrounding his birth and the whole Messiah thing. In addition to that, when first arrested by the Romans, one of the apostles strikes the ear off one of the soldiers slaves and Jesus mends it, saying that he could call down a legion of angels to defend him if he so wished. The fact that he was a "mere man" who had power over the angels that only God Himself had seems to be a strong indicator of divinity.

I am far from a Bible scholar though, so I could be wrong.

At least he wasn't fighting Muhammad :P

Though you gotta admit, a battle with Jesus vs. Muhammad would be twice as awesome and sacrilegious.

I'm just as offended by that comic as you are. Being a Hellenist (One who follows the Greek Pantheon), The depictions of the Greek Gods, Zeus in particular pissed me off. So, yes, I think that comic offended all around.

...People still worship those gods? I'd been wondering that for a while now, how bout that.

u have to admit it kiks ASS
but srill very ofensive

Its not that unbelievable. Jesus had a badass streak in his short career as a profet/messiah. This is the guy trolled pharisees, stood between lynch mobs for prostitutes, declared before entire congregations he came to fulfill the prophesy in a scripture he was just asked to recite at a mass, told off rich people, cursed a fig tree that pissed him off, went to hell and back literally, and lets not forget started a brawl in a synagogue. Also some gospels arbitrarily unincluded in the new testament featured a young Jesus (a young Jeezy if you will) kicking ass, here are the highlights http://www.cracked.com/ article_18948_5-real- deleted-bible-scenes-in- which-jesus-kicks-some- ass.html

While its popular to think of Jesus as the lamb hugging, child loving, charitable, pacifistic, laid back prince of peace, its important to remember that what he preached was that the world would end soon and people needed to radically alter their view and proactively go out to change the world as they knew it. This is the guy who inspired (thats not to say condoned but still) witch hunts, inquisitions, crusades, schisms, the divine right of kings, puritan fire and brimstone sermons, picking up poisonous snakes, exorcisms, and the entire book of Revelations.

Its not at all ludicrous to see Jesus standing up to false idols and wordlessly putting them down. It seems highly symbolic (though probably unintentionally so) of what happened to those same gods between the time of Pontius Pilate and Emperor Constantine, who, lets not forget, converted when he called on Jesus to help him slaughter his enemies. I'd say Jesus's action is this comic are consistant with the real Jesus's character, preachings, actions, mythos and legacy. But I'm an atheist after all, so what do I know?

Sorry i dont mean to flood you with replies but there is one more thing i wanted to adress in your statement:

"If he wouldn't pull himself down from the cross for the Pharisees what makes them think he would do it for the pagan gods of whom he was trying to convert his children from"

according to the christian mythos, Jesus DID pull himself off the cross and did put an end to his suffering albeit it was three days later. He did this so that he could put a stop to the Pharisees and pagan gods and all others who turned people away from Yahweh. You make it sound like he died and went away forever. You also make it sound like Jesus proving himself greater than other gods is inconsistant with his character and hurts that gods followers. In the old testament their are many stories of Yahweh competing with other other idols to prove his greatness, like when he took that bet with the devil and made Jobs life a living hell, or when he made it rain to prove he was real and Baal was not. While in achieving his ends, there was often some collateral damage, there is no reason to think that proving himself greater than other people's gods would offend those people, especially when such pissing contests were what those people required, or even asked for, to make that leap of faith. If Yahweh/Jesus was against proving himself then why does the bible contain accounts of miracles? Why did Jesus tell his followers they too could work miracles? Why did Jesus bother showing off how he conquered death instead of just explaining his followers what he was doing before he died?

but again, I'm an atheist, i could be wrong

Loved the review. So was that Doug Walker reading out the news in the stinger?

Also, apparently Avengelyne is getting a relaunch with a new creative team. I wonder if they'll keep to Rob's proud vision of flat characters with odd spines?

It WAS Doug. He was doing his GNN news sketch, and at the very end, he was doing The Joker calling in.

The Alan moore one!?

Almost expect to hear the WWE announcers in the background.

People and things are just disappearing? I guess that reaffirms my theory about Ninja Style Dancer being an offscreen victim...

This wouldn't have anything to do with the Ultimate Warrior constructing the Black Gate, would it?

[q]People and things are just disappearing? I guess that reaffirms my theory about Ninja Style Danger being a offscreen victim..[/q]

Yeah...oh god I hope Bear (aka Littlefoot) isn't next. He is so full of innocents :(

And uh....I just realized, that the site of The Enity attack is a stone throws away from Northern Iowa......*probably should think about packing her bags and high-tailing it out of there*

Pfft, naaaah. Or at least you don't need to worry about the god-servants of Yograh'n Na'droj; if my dream was any indication, I'm apparently an Acolyte now so I guess Iowa's sort-of protected...?

Here's a link to prevent confusion:

http:// welcometomcrant.blogspot. com/2011/03/mcrant-145- weird-dream.html

I think he's in on it. Never trust a ninja. They have no honor.

They also have no fashion sense, but that's not really important.

Awesome to see that you’re reviewing yet another comic published by Maximum Press. Also, good old Mr. Liefeld must have thought that “The Godyssey” was supposed to be a porno comic.
8:35- Okay, NOW I’m convinced that this hole this was originally gonna be a porno comic, but they scrapped the idea, and put Jesus in for $h!ts and giggles.

5:22- I’m wouldn’t be surprised if this comic was written by someone who has little to no knowledge of the bible.

I’m also a Christian, and I’m also find this comic incredibly offensive not just to Christianity, but all religion in general.

6:36- At least Zeus’s dialogue doesn’t have any ellipses...

9:10- Also, Avengeline is suffering from Youngblood’s disease in this panel.

Thank God (yeah, I know) that this comic never made it passed one issue.

14:21- Well said, Lewis. Well said indeed. =)

Nice stinger on the upcoming Entity event, and cool idea to have Doug do a GNN News sketch about this.

Being what I call a "non-practicing Catholic", even I was a little uneasy about the Crucifixion splash page right off the bat.

Though the MK techno music always helps in these kinds of situations.

12:13 - "Then suffer they fate!"

...Then suffer THEY fate.

Good Fuckidy Gods, my Grammar Nazi wants to slap someone for that. -___-

Meh, "suffer they" means that they will suffer. Just oldtimey phrasing. It's one of the few things that aren't wrong in this.

Actually, given the context and usage it's supposed to be the possessive "suffer THY" fate, not they. I know that "suffer they" is completely wrong in Shakespearian (aka Middle)English, which they seem to be trying to copy here, and when I looked it up to see if perhaps another form such as old English or Anglish might use it, I found no instances where "suffer they" would be correct usage. I'm with TheBrigeedaRocks on this one - someone needs to be slapped. Hard.
A little disapointed it didn't get a "poor literacy is Kewl"

I was going to mention that myself, not to mention Zeus's constant misuse of "thee". *Facepalm* Really, it's not very hard to get the hang of it. "So thee is gonna disrespect me?" or whatever the hell Zeus says is *completely* wrong; either get the usage right or DON'T FUCKING USE IT. Gods, all you have to do is swing over to your nearest college, find the first SCAdian you meet, and they'd probably proof it for you for free, just to have a credit in there somewhere.

There are LITTLE KIDS out there who can figure out thee/thou just fine. Seriously, why the hell is grammar giving them such difficulties?!

As a religious Mormon, I know I should be a LOT offended more than I am, but... Kung-Fu Action Jesus. There is literally a Kung-Fu Action Jesus. When I first heard Ganxingba use that joke, I had no earthly clue it could actually HAPPEN. I... I'm utterly speechless.

But, getting awway from the sheer stupid awesomeness of that revelation, I'm impressed, Linkara. There were so many opportunities for you to take a wrong step in the minefield that is a religious comic, but you handled it with your normal combination of humor and intelligence, dodging every one of them. As dated as the phrase sounds, I must applaud you!

Oh, and one more bit of irony: This comic features Jesus as a character with a key role in the plot, and yet a lot of the comic is used for showing women's asses. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I doubt the Messiah would approve of the sexual objectification of women - or anyone, for that matter. Way to go, Liebfeld & Friends, for missing the point in almost EVERY way.

Hey! There are other LDS on this site?

I can understand wanting to add some action and drama to the bible (which can be a pretty boring read) but there are classier ways to do that than a kung-fu brawl in front of the cross.

What did the Roman Soldiers think when they saw that, anyway?

Soldier 1: "Hey, are you seeing this?"
Soldier 2: "I'm seeing it, but I don't understand what I'm seeing."
Soldier 1: "It looks like a pantheon of immortal entities just teleported in from a higher plane and started a fistfight with that Jewish guy we were supposed to execute."
Soldier 2: "Okay, that makes sense."
Soldier 1: "You think we should tell somebody?"
Soldier 2: "Would anyone believe us?"
Soldier 1: "Good point, let's just take an early lunch and hope this situation takes care of itself."

Heck if you wanted to insert action into the Bible you could just make a comic adaptaion of the book of judges, though preferably without Liefield drawing Deborah or Jael!

That would actually be epic if that was in the comic.

Rob Liefeld, i should've known

Oh, man, just looking at this I can tell that I'm going to be offended, both as a Christian and a lover of Classical mythology...

Also, what? No Brian? XD

Most fascinating. Not being a Christian myself I'm not personally offended by ninja Jesus, though I can see how it could be taken in such a way.

JESUS CHRIST!!!

...and I do not use that epithet lightly in this case.

Even people who have no religious experience whatsoever know more than enough about Jesus to be offended by this just from the sheer what-the-fuckery of it. It's just off the weirdness charts.

Linkara, you studied theology? That's pretty neat.

I'm not offended by it - not religious in any way - but I did sit open mouthed as it played out as I can't believe anyone thought that it was a good idea for an opening....dream sequence or not.

Just the very notion of Jesus ripping himself from the cross in order to bitchslap a Greek God is so awesomely stupid I'm not sure it should really offend anyone.

Even if your not Christian, you can be offended by it sheer stupidity :|

Agreed! It's...like something out of South Park or something. Slicing off fake!pope Bill Donahue's head with a shuriken and putting on sunglasses Horatio Caine style. It just wraps around and cancels out its offensiveness by overshooting into the territory of awesome.

That wasnt a shuriken, it was a Krull.

A Krull? You mean the Glaive (the boomerang-like weapon which is oddly enough named after a bladed spear used in Europe) used in the movie "Krull"?

@Jackass Mask "Mah gawd, King! Zeus is getting beat like a government mule!"

Yea, this comic is insulting on multiple levels, not just it's beyond juvenile theological ideas.
If you really, REALLY must see Jehova die in a comic book, go read Preacher at the height of the Saint of Killers storyline.

More like immortal Kombat. Or immoral, both work fine.

I'm just wondering how a man who got beat up and crucified by the Romans managed to take out Hercules.

Personally, I'm a little offended on behalf of the greek gods. They really took a beating here, both physically, and in their characterization. I'm no expert on greek mythology, but their behavior is kinda headscratching for the most part.

You think this is offensive, there's actually a comic called Loaded Bible and has Jesus fighting vampires in a post apocalyptic future. Review that if you ever have the time.

I'm sorry, but that plot's the most amazing thing I've ever heard.

Here it is in a lot better form in a friend on mine's webcomic on Deviantart! http:// tradd.deviantart.com/ gallery/7377415? offset=24#/d2knat9
This guy is awesome good at comics with little to no dialogue!

"Loaded Bible" ? Really ? :P Wow, that's even stupider :|.... Where does those people find those idea ?!

The vampire thing is a bit silly. They should have used mutants as Fist of the North Star did. :P

Which is basically kung fu jesus battling mutants in a post-apocalyptic future.
Sort of.

Wasn't there also a movie called "Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter" with a similar premise?

Yeah, but Jesus only fights because the vampires are going to take over the world and eradicate lesbians in the process. It's a good movie if you're into stuff like "Black Dynamite" or "Machete".

I'm an atheist and even im offended

Oh my. I feel so....violated.

DOES NOT COMPUTE, DOES NOT COMPUTE BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWW WWWWWW*Insert explosion in my head with smoke and flames comming out of my ears* Distrucity overload, mind has gone full blown

I admit, I was dreading this one when I saw it was on your to-do list. I'm not really that religious, but I had a solid Christian upbringing and I respect the faith, even if I don't actively practice it anymore. So yeah, it's a touchy subject.

That being said, I think you handled this comic about as well as it could possibly be handled. Kudos!

Also...shouldn't it be IMmortal...crap someone beat me to it. Damn!

Eh, Zeus is probably just being a whiny brat because the Super Best Friends League decided to let Seaman in instead of him.

On a completely unrelated note, do you know what would be an awesome? If someone decided to turn Milton's Paradise Lost into a comic book! Now THAT would be fun to read... just as long as they didn't have Lucifer wear nothing but a metal thong.

Have fun with that mental image.

Hey, in Gustav Dore's illustrations, he's naked.

@honestiago
Ow!

@ThatGeekWithTheTemper

At least Gustav Dore can draw.

Am I crazy, or was Milton's Sin a boss in NES title Kick Master?

The idea of pitting various deities against one another could actually make for an interesting story; the competing ideas, different moralities, the different myths clashing.

Except for the religious invocations, this is just bland and pretty boring. Like the controversial imagery was just there for the sake of creating controversy that might peek interest in the book.

Actually, I recently had a similar idea to this, just involving a lot more gods.

Your religion is part of your way of life; it's impossible to use this subject without offending people.

Your right, that idea was the backbone of the American Gods book by Neil Gaiman. You should read it. A really nice, smooth and kinda dark story.

How do you take such an awesome concept as a war between gods, and make it suck this much?

I've always called Liefeld an untalented hack, but the fact that his mere presence could lead to such incredible levels of suck says to me that he is far more talented than I thought. If only he would use his powers for good, instead of evil.

linkara, that jesus nickname was so not appropriate
then again reading this... "thing" would F*** up anyone's mind
P.S what was that whole scene at the end about

The scene at the end is part of Linkara's on-going narrative. You'd have to watch some previous episodes to fully understand what's going on, but here's the basic: an undefinable, malevolent entity is consuming existence itself.

Oh, and that scene was also based on Doug's series of GNN sketches, but that's not as important.

I'm surprised that a person who says they've studied the new testament (I'm not calling you out, I'm just expressing my shock) didn't point out the despite the constant "artist" depictions, Jesus is not a part of the Aryan race. In all honesty if you go by the book of revelations he's a pretty scary looking guy, but that might have happened during his montage to train for the apocalypse. Either way he was an Arabic Jew, born in the middle east, not middle Europe. I'm not a hyper Christian, in fact I'm an atheist (and yes I laughed my ass off at this, but that's neither here nor there), but it kind of pisses me off that people fail to visualize the thing they worship (especially if you factor in the whole worship of false idols thing) and then annoy anyone (not all Christians, you know they annoying ones like those at the West Bero(?) Baptist) who don't worship him.

Eh, I figured his coloring was a minor point compared to his Kung-Fu, and since it was a dream anyway...

Incredible Hercules by Pak and Lente(Full run)
&
Chaos War which is a semi sequel to that

both fun rides

hes not depicted as aryan he depicted as anglo-saxon what most christians think he looks like thanks to the king james bible. just to nit pick the nitpicker.

Funny. I don't recall the KJV actually including a physical description. Or the original Greek, for that matter.

Er no, KJV version of the Bible has no physical description of him. The "classic" image of Jesus is entirely due to mostly Italian Renaissance painters, who painted him to look like one of them. Not that others haven't done the same thing; Mexican painters have made him look Hispanic, and there's even some paintings of him that look vaguely Asian.

Was a special on Discovery Channel where they tried to figure out how he realistically would have looked, based on what a typical person of his race and background would have looked. They admit they have no idea about his specific facial details, but they do depict a typical 1st century Hebrew Jew, can make some assumptions about his clothing and hairstyle, etc. Doesn't look much like the Renaissance version at all.

I've seen some beautiful Coptic icons that portray him as African.

I am surprised that you didn't mention that the dream sequence had nothing to do with the greater story other than Zeus existing. So it was, above all else, completely pointless.

ugh, my NaNoWriMo story "Bar Gods" is like effing gold compared to this comic.

Honestly this seems like something more out of South Park!!!

Also, Zeus, if you didn't want humanity to abandon you, maybe you could have kept it in your toga a little more often.

I wonder if they were originally called Z.T.D s?

I'm offended as a pagan, hell I'm offended as someone who believes in ANY gods/religion

Wow, never thought I'd see that! Just... wow. I'm baffled at the sheer stupidity of this comic. Great review; sometimes I worry your sanity will just crack with all of these bad comics.

PS. Jesus in Spanish would be spelled "Jesús", not "Jésus". The accent mark denotes the intonation or 'strength' of the syllable. Sorry, can't help it, 12 years of grammar force-fed into my brain T_T.

I was thinking that, too. I feel your pain.

This comic is pretty good, if you read it as a parody.
Also, I'd be curious how Satan fits in this conflict.

Satan does not GIVE A DAMN is probably LAUGHING HIS ASS OFF.

To be fair, Zeus' characterization fits the Christian archetype for Satan in this comic. Which, according to some Christian theologists, would make sense, since they say that all pagan gods were actually demons deceiving the ancient civilizations which worshiped them. Some people were dumb.

Which is very ironic, considering Yahwe was originally a minor volcano god in Canaan.

It's actually YHWH, which is an abbreviation of a Jewish phrase that simply says "I am, who am." It's what God said to Moses at the burning bush, which is a simple description of his nature.

What's really funny is their use of Jehovah as a name for God. Jehovah was actually a mistranslation of Yahweh and technically isn't a name for God, but is used widely enough that everyone knows who you're talking about when you say Jehovah.

That came about because of the Hebrew vowel pointing. Ancient Hebrew did not have letters for vowels, like most later languages. Instead, the Masorites added vowel points (a series of dots and lines over and under the consonant letters) to indicate how the words were to be pronounced. But by the time of the Masorites, it had become customary for Jews not to say the Sacred Name anymore, so they pointed the Tetragrammaton so that the name was unpronounceable. The KJV translators were apparently unaware of this - or were simply doing the best they could given the circumstances - and rendered it as Jehovah instead. Incidentally, Hebrew has no letter J or J sound.

Incidentally, the Divine Name is actually incorporated into Jesus' Hebrew name, Jehoshua, which literally means, "YWHW Saves." This is why it is said that his name is above every other name.

Really? And were might we be able to find this information? My own reading suggests that, apart from biblical accounts, scholars seem to be quite divergent in their opinions on the origin of the name.

The "Canaanite Volcano God" theory for the origin of the name was debunked over ten years ago by archaeologists and linguists. Namely 1. because there is no record for such deity being worshiped by the Canaanites . 2. Because linguistically the name would not make sense for the Canaanites. 3. Because YHWH is an example of nomenclature which ONLY makes sense in Hebrew.

So this comic got everything wrong: the art is terrible, the characters are lacking and offensive, the plot is stupid and it isn't nearly as awesome as Jesus fighting a dinosaur and then befriending it. Dead serious: http:// www.nontistavocercando.it /2011/01/26/jdn-s-3- commento-dello- sceneggiatore-1-di-3/
What is good about this other scene is that it isn't supposed to be taken seriously.

By the way, who are the voices in the last bit?

I looked in the credits and couldn't find it. My best guess is Doug and Rob.

"Special Thanks: Doug Walker"

Special Thanks credits usually mean cameo appearances. Linkara's not the only reviewer who credits them that way.

Also, if you go to Doug's videos under "Specials" I think, there are two Lori Prince episodes. They're hilarious and you should watch them.