Technically, Irish ninjas are far more effective than the original Japanese.

How do I know this?

Have you actually ever seen one?

Dun dun dun

Also, Batman's reaction to Robin not being impressed by the Batcave makes me think of a spoiled rich kid showing off.

"What do you think of my awesome toys?"

"They're stupid."

"Your Stupid!"

Of course Irish ninja's are better.

Have you ever heard of the O'Leary ninja clan?

Thought not.

Actually, I have.

You know that inferno that practically destroyed Chicago in its infancy? Yeah, that was all Catherine O'Leary.

And let's not forget, this isn't the first time we've seen Irish ninjas face off with Batman.

Let's us not forget that an Irish Ra's al Ghul going by the name of Henri Ducard lead The League of Shadows against Batman in Batman Begins.

They also burned London to the ground, so why not Chicago too?

Coincidence!?

All I can say is...maybe.

*looks at the Title Card*

Oh god! Batman-Pedobear....the horror! DX

And Linkara's look on the card is somehow freaky and hilarious on the card.

Seriously, whoever this guy CALLING himself Batman is - someone call Benson and Stabler!!!

I've seen an Irish ninja. His name is Dr. McNinja... wait.

Actually, now that I think about it, that whole Black Canary scene sounds like something that you'd find in an issue of The Adventures of Dr. McNinja.

Great, Frank Miller has not only lost his mind, he's started borrowing the minds from other people.

13:52- lol that is so cute the way Linkara wibbles his bottom lip like that. Absolutely adorable. Its just asking his fangirls to glomp him with hugs! :D

So thats why Dick Grayson Age 12 became a new Joker in The Dark Knight Strikes Again.

Yay! More Miller Time. =D I always wanted to see you review more on The Adventures of Crazy Steve.

8:06- Well, the most religious kind of Irish people kick ass for the lord.

I wonder if the HOLY WAR that BATMAN is TALKING ABOUT is the SAME kind in Uncanny X-MEN #423-424.

In “Batman: The Dark Knight Returns,” Batman narrates that it was Dick that thought of the name for the Batmobile. So, Thanks Frank for forgetting what you yourself wrote.

Also, the 6-page spread is very difficult to look at if someone is reading this in a chair or a bed.

Damnit. All-Star Vikki Vale is still alive. I don’t think I can take anymore of her talking about her boning every male superhero of the DC Universe.

21:43- In recent incarnations, Batman’s cowl is lead lined, but I agree that Crazy Steve isn’t smart enough to wear one of those.

I’ve read “All-Star Superman” in preparation of the DTV animated film adaptation, and it IS awesome and more true to the original comics continuity than this piece of WTF.

Is it just me, or does anyone else think that “All-Star Batman & Robin” was originally gonna be a gross-out porno comic? I mean, the further this All-Star series goes, the bigger my migrane gets.

Can’t wait for next week when you review the Lady Gaga comic. I like her music and videos, but I think the comic is similar to The Backstreet Boys comic.

The Backstreet Boys comic, while a huge failure, at least TRIED to simulate entertainment. At least in comparison to the Gaga comic.

I like her music too, but trust me, if you'e expecting Lady Gaga to gain superpowers & fight off zombie dinosaurs, you will be SEVERELY disappointed.

...Actually, you'll be disappointed no matter what you expect. =(

omg, Lady Gaga... CANNOT. WAIT. LINKARA, YOU ARE TAKING ON WAY TOO MUCH, BUT YOU ARE OUR MESSIAH FOR IT. ;)
@Speedy Eric: I completely agree with the "All-Star B&R" being a gross-out porno. That's all it's been. It's been gross (thank you, Frank Millar, for insulting the female readers you may have and subjecting them to gazing at Vale's cleavage for God knows how many pages) and it's been as close to porn as you can get without being "Lost Girls" or "Tarot, Witch of the Black Rose" or whatever.

Is it just me, or does anyone else think that “All-Star Batman & Robin” was originally gonna be a gross-out porno comic?

Especially if you consider the abbreviation being "ASBAR" pronounced ass bar.

*@ 16:27* Holy crap! Look out its a demon posessed Superman EVERYBODY RUN! Oh how could Frank Miller drag Superman into this....hasn't Superman suffered enough from Act of God and Countdown?

A "Brain Dead/Dead Alive" reference, Speedy? Good job!

Thanks, Lucia. Linkara used this when he was talking about the same thing in his Top 15 WTF Moments in Comics.

I want to read the book "Dorothy and the prostitute village of Oz" that sounds a lot better. Even though it just sounds like a porno title.

Its like if you put a batman costume on the hobo with a shotgun.

The hobo with a shotgun is far more likable than Idiot Steve, he just wants a lawnmower and to be left alone.

You got a point

...Honestly, this comic's bit with the milk carton broke my brain so badly that I can't think of much to say this time. That, & the fact that you covered everything else pretty well, great video as usual. But let's give it a shot...

- So if this OOC version of Batman is called Crazy Steve, what do we call their OOC version of Black Canary? Any suggestions?

- Also, the two names for females that get thrown around this issue (& in the others) the most appear to be either "love chunks" or "sweet chunks". Because in Frank Miller's twisted head, "chunks" is somehow a sexy word.

- So apparently DC now consider the All-Star B&R universe & the Dark Knight Returns universe to be the same universe. Why did they think this was necessary? Because...Um...Look, a puppy!!

- If Crazy Steve actually dons that samurai armor on display in the Batcave at one point, this comic may actually be able to redeem itself.

- Tragically, half of those robots were crushed when the giant penny they were cleaning tipped over. The rest are now planning their revolt.

- The milk carton....GAAAHHHH!!!! *remains of brain explode*

If she's Irish, a cool line she could have thought after the dude grabs her butt: "They're ALWAYS after me Lucky Charms." As for her name: Slutty Bird-Brain.

...Well, "Slutty Bird-Brain" is close, but it could also apply to the version of Vicki Vale here, & I don't want us confusing the two. What about Hooters McWackjob? Too crude? =P

I like it. Even got the Irish "Mc" in there, nice.

You just know that somewhere on the internet that there's a fanfic where the real Batman finds out about Crazy Steve and kicks his ass.

Oh and I loved the title card... that is just too perfect... a little creepy, but perfect...

I'd like a link to that fanfic if it exists, please!

I second that.

Awesome review Linkara! I LOVE the EMPHASIS on certain WORDS this idiot PUTS in. XD But seriously he seems like scum and I'm happy you're calling him out on it :]

Batman kidnaps an underage boy. Every woman in it is portrayed negatively. Alfred undresses a twelve year old boy while he sleeps. Batman is obsessed with what Robin thinks of him, and Batman touched his dying mother's breasts.

Yeah nothing suspicious about any of that

Sigmund Freud would love Frank Miller

Not that I'm defending this garbage (I really hated this comic) but I'd give Alfred a pass on the clothes thing. Maybe it's cause Alfred's the only adult in this series that hasn't proven to be a sick, twisted loser. That and Dick had his parent's blood on his clothes and might've gotten sick from not wearing actual clothing in the Batcave which is probably cold and damp.

What I'd like to know is how did that line about touching his mother's breasts get past the editors? I mean they could have easily changed it to "I felt my mother's heartbeat as she died and it bled" I mean yeah it's still not a great line but it at least didn't sound like Bruce...I mean Crazy Steve was trying to cop a feel on his dying mother. That's just all kinds of sick.

I know, it's actually even more irritating because you know the action is totally innocent and very poignant, but the way it's worded here a) distracts you from the tragedy of the memory by squicking you out, and b) annoys you by being a blatant attempt at being "gritty" and "raw" or whatever crap Miller's trying to pull here.

Also, WHY IS SUPERMAN RUNNING ACROSS THE OCEAN INSTEAD OF FLYING????? Just...what...why....And what exactly is he so hacked off about? It's not like, oh, he works for the DC equivalent of the New York Times and therefore knows all about child abduction and what a hellhole Gotham is.

Also, Black Canary is being a total hypocrite here. Yeah, all those guys are slimeballs, but that's the entire selling point of the bar where she works and the entire point of her job. If you can't get a job where you're treated decently, then beating up your clients is not only deceitful advertising but sort of screwing yourself over. And if you are self-reliant enough to beat up a barful of people and take off for a better life, what the hell are you doing working in a sleazy Hooters joint instead of somewhere better?

I can't believe the crap Batman is saying about Superman around the end of issue #4! I thought they were suppose to be friends and partners?

What is with the freaking hostility between them!!?!?

On Superman notflying from what I read this is suppose to be an earlier Superman before his powers develipt enough to where he could fly!

You sure about that?

Even Sigmund Freud admitted on his death bed that he couldn't figure out what woman want...

* cue someone shouting at me *

Wait, you're telling me that was just a joke?!

Pedobatman will now haunt my nightmares....*shudder*

Did anyone else notice that Black Canary was beating up Bearded Idiot in one panel? It might not have been him, but he had a beard and a superman logo on his shirt so...

I noticed that too.

I also noticed that. Who would've guessed that he didn't die in the fire and somehow teleported to "6 months ago" in a bar with Black Canary. Although, scarily enough, this might mean that Bearded Idiot and Crazy Steve will ... team up :(

Anyway, as I, and I'm sure everyone else, expected, these comics were bad. Seriously, this just made me sad and I shudder to think how it could get any worse. What with the implied pedophilia, the lack of focus, the complete characterization 180 of Batman, and bad writing, this might be the worst thing I've seen featuring Batman.

Good job getting through this Linkara. At least we can say that the Gaga comic can't be any worse than this.

What I don't get is how Robin can recover from witnessing the death of his parents so quickly. HE'S A KID! ALL kids that witness deaths of loved ones, especially parents, do NOT recover THAT quickly. I'm beginning to wonder if Frank Miller ever WAS a child before with emotion and feelings. This comic seems to prove otherwise. :/

Maybe he arranged for his parents to be killed so he could take over their vast criminal empire disguised as a circus. Makes about as much sense as anything else in these comics.

He didn't recover. He's being forced to suck it up hard just to survive. However, it comes boiling up in the 'end' of the series and leads to what, for my money at least, is one of the most moving pages I've ever seen in a super hero book.

Dude, does it hurt your throat to do that growl? Also, of everyone currently in the comic, Alfred is the ONLY one I'd trust to get Dick Grayson, age 12, into real clothes.

OMG, LINKARA, I CANNOT BELIEVE WITH THE DOROTHY THING YOU DID NOT MAKE A LOST GIRLS JOKE! COME ON, IT'S PORN, KILL IT!
Frank Millar should be shot for what he did to Black Canary. She is fricking AWESOME. And I'm Irish; you did an okay accent. Not the best, but certainly not the worst I've ever heard.
I am not entirely certain that I want to see "Dark Knight: Boy Wonder" or whatever that was supposed to come out in February. If Millar was supposed to write it, I'm steering clear. This series is giving me a migraine trying to follow!
My God, what was with that "I touched my mother's breast" line? Nightmares... horrible, horrible nightmares shall be induced because of that line. "Gentle CARESS"? God knows what Stevie there would do to poor Dick Grayson! Actually, what has MILLAR done to poor Dick Grayson?
Alfred... Millar had the BALLS to make Batman- sorry, Crazy Steve- assault Alfred?!?!?!?! That's it. No one gets away with that. Alfred is the bomb, pure and simple. There will be Hell to pay.
Say... you dropped your watch!

Anyways, Linkara, your review was awesome. Loved it as always. xoxo!

I have the feeling Frank Miller was trying his damndest to destroy Batman with this series, nothing else can explain the amount of pure bullshit this comic contains.

Great video Lewis! :D

Miller remade Batman once and now he'll destroy him if it's the last thing he ever does!

I'm not used to seeing you outright cuss at something, Linkara, but if there's anything that really deserves it, it's Crazy Steve & Friends.

How did the story and dialogue get past the editors? Because he's the goddamn Frank Miller!

Seriously, what in the world made Frank Miller churn out something like this? No words can explain my utter shock and horror to this.

Speaking of Jim Lee, he was featured in an article in March ImagineFX (a magazine specializing in digital art) issue. His artwork is really incredible, which saddens me when he's reduced to draw for Miller's batshit crazy story. No amount of beautifully rendered art can salvage this sinking ship.

What Miller did to both Black Canary and later Wonder Woman, is really unforgivable. I picked up a few tradebacks of Wonder Woman by Gail Simone and after watching many JLU and Brave and the Bold episodes, I love these two so much. I skimmed over the ASBaR tradeback and the moment I saw certain panels, I just wanted to cry from them.

Assaulting ALFRED of all people?! He's the original ass-kicking butler before Kuroshitsuji's Sebastian!

Oh, wow.

That was...

That...

uh
wah
huh
bluh
gaaaaaaaAAAAAAAHHH WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU MILLER






*SYSTEM FAILURE- REBOOTING*

*REBOOTING*

*REBOOTING*

*REBOOTING*




why is it here? I feel nothing, and yet
out of sight, out of mind, take it away, never come back
it hurts it hurts why is it hurting
LET GO OF ME LET GO LET GO LET GO

The debt is done, the pain repaid
To final rest the sin is laid
Its past transgressions to be unmade
The beast's aim yet unmissing




...Are you still there?
...Good...
I want you to tell him...
...Tell him- -tell him- -tel- -tha-



-NO-



*END TRANSMISSION*

*CORRUPTED FILES REMOVED*

*REBOOT COMPLETE*

Maybe this whole thing is like an extended metaphor.
Robin = the audience
Batman = Frank Miller
Superman = Bob Schreck
Alfred = Jim Lee
Vicki = Lynn Varley
Dinah = Diana Schutz

If Frank Millar had a single brain cell in his head when he wrote this, I'd say maybe. But really? Can literary "genius" really save this thing? Alfred gets assaulted, Black Canary gets her reputation raped, and Robin gets EVERYTHING ELSE ALMOST raped.

A round of applause for extended metaphor.

I honsetly wish Linkara actually found one those notes to Jim from Frank about what sort of metaphors this comic was supposed to contain. Ever since I saw the notes Linkara found for what Vikki was supposed to look like in the first two issues of All-Star Batman and Robin, I've been hoping he could find more incriminating material!

Why? So that could just say what I would have said than if I hadn't arrived late and since I can't predict the future reveling evidence will ever manifest itself, I shell say now!

(cought)On behelf on Ghostwriter fans everywhere:

CAUGHT YA MR. MILLER!

"Do the Irish have secret ninja powers that they haven't told anyone about?"

SHHHHHHH!!!!! (looks around furtively)

Huh. Viewing "Crazy Steve the Bum" as the villain who bested Batman, stole his suit and gadgets, and kidnapped his own 'boy ward' to form his own corrupted version of the dynamic duo is... actually pretty interesting.

Your theory even fits the comic after you stopped insisting it. Steve the Bum eating rats, driving around aimlessly, constantly mumbling to himself and telling others to "shut up", why Superman wouldn't know who he is (since Steve is not Bruce who Supes knows to be Batman), and his abuse of Alfred. It all fits Steve the Bum impersonating Batman!

/me votes for "Crazy Steve" vs "Batman" comics.

Wow, I'm going to admit that a lot of what you quoted from the comic made me squirm.

"My writing misinterpreted by twenty-odd year-olds on the internet? NEVER!"

I can't stop thinking of lil' Bruce Wayne motorboating his dying mother. He checked her pulse with his face! GRAGH.

But on a "happier" note, about halfway through this when the video reached Metropolis I just had to go, "Wow, Mr. Kent. DAT ASS." because of how tight his khakis were. And then that panel was shown with his teeth bared. I need to find the picture and shoop some sunglasses on there like yesterday.

I genuinely like the part where Alfred stands up for himself, but aside from that I only like the series for how insanely bad it is. I think the reason this comic doesn't actually offend me is because it's not supposed to be canon like, say, Civil War was for Marvel (Yeah I went there). I know Frank Miller says it's basically a prequel to Dark Knight Returns, but does anyone really take that statement seriously?

My god miller this is just disgusting, way to take my childhood hero and just tearing him apart with this nonsense, it's baffling. oh and the whole breast thing.....wow just...oh god.

Jethro Tull is Death... and Crime...
and the RAGE of a BEAST!!

Also, Batman does have a god. One that apparently doesn't like bees very much.

I study martial arts myself, and will be going up for my brown belt test this summer...but let me get to the point!

One of the kids at our school (who's father helps teach) earned his black belt at age 8! His attention span and training with his dad made him the youngest black belt in our school's history!

It's possible, as you demonstrate, yes. But most martial arts schools won't let you do it because your body will change so dramatically after that age that you'll have to relearn much.

that depends on the school. Our school teaches all stances and techniques mostly by forms and muscle memory. By the time you reach black belt, you can fight in your sleep!

Besides, his dad is a black belt as well, and I doubt he'll let him get rusty. lol

I don't know why, I kinda like Steve, he's that special kind of crazy! Nice stuff Linkara, I always enjoy Miller time, even though it pains you.

So Superman squeezes a carton of milk with Dick's picture that was created 15 hours ago. Now...let me try and time this together and apply logic to the situation, there's one other thing to consider:

Superman works for the Daily Planet! Wouldn't he have known about the front page story before it went out?! This would mean that Perry White either wrote or approved a full page story (a very very long story according to how much text is on the newspaper and the size of the title overlaying) but also managed to print it out in time for it to be delivered at 5am to 6am to the entire city of Metropolis?

Now...let's assume this is all possible. Fastest reporters ever and milk service run by the drugged addled Flash. It has taken over 15 hours for Batman to get back to the Batcave?! From issue 2, we could see the car was going pretty damn quick...was the plane just hovering on its way? Did Batman feel the need to stop and point out all the places he mugged people or where he hid his tin cans along the way? I kind of have to agree with Dick here. Either the queer car/plane/boat travels incredibly slow or Batman's cave placement proves exactly how "smart" he is.

And...my final question: It is told that "Black Canary" was inspired by Batman 6 months ago. Granted, anyone inspired by Crazy Steve would probably act the same way, but this means he's been on the loose for over six months, killing criminals, beating the tar out of cops, and cackling like a madman as he escapes into the night?

Excellent video as always Linkara...if only the subject material were even as close.

I think it's best NOT to question this too much. We all know Frank lost his ability to write anything good after the whole "political satire featuring Batman" series!

The only thing we should question is WHY DC GAVE FRANK THIS PROJECT IN THE FIRST PLACE!

Of course Irish people have secret ninja tactics, haven't you seen Snatch? Or Boondock Saints?

Or read Dr. McNinja?

McNinja clan, proof of the latent awesome ninja powers to be had in the Irish.