Chuck Norris Karate Kommandos #1

(259 votes, average 4.85 out of 5)
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Comments (283)
  • TragicGuineaPig
    avatar
    Chuck NorrIIIIIISSSS!!

    Oh, and by the way, doesn't the Super Ninja's outfit remind you of Nuclear Man from Superman IV? Maybe that's why he's SUPER Ninja.

    Also, didn't they get that RV from [i]Stripes[/i]?
  • Vathras  - Not a moving truck
    avatar
    Noticed the same thing myself. Seems like it was an easy rip off of Stripes for that recreational vehicle.
  • Mr Awesome
    OMG CHUCK NORRIS JUST KICKED ME !!!!!!!!!!!
  • RawMetal
    Seriously If I dissed Chuck Norris he'll find me in 10 seconds :(
  • gillie  - re:
    Actually, His already found you
  • Majin47
    avatar
    I'd like to see that loser try - on you that is.

    He's such a talentless has-been loser that he couldn't find you. :pout:
  • holycow81
    [quote=TragicGuineaPig] Chuck NorrIIIIIISSSS!![/quote]
    I think you means (Organ Music) "A-Chuck-A- NorrIIIIIISSSS!!" Don't worry, it's a common mistake.
  • gillie
    Riding-A-shark-That's-as- big-as-Jaws! :woohoo:
  • Thoadthetoad  - You forgot...
    avatar
    Mr. T is also a night, elf, mohawk!
  • alithanar8
    I always wondered, if Mr. T is a Night Elf Mohawk what does that make Chuck Norris?
  • Morgoth Bauglir
    avatar
    Tulkas from [i]The Silmarillion[/i].
  • gillie
    Chuck Norris is a Chuck Norris in W.O.W (can only get the Chuck Norris class if you're as awesome as he is)
  • Jazzimus Prime
    avatar
    Wow. Talk about an ego trip.

    The ninjas (fail though they were) just cowering in the mere presence of the mighty CHUCK NORRIS!!1!eleven!! was just plain ridiculous.

    Also, who the hell names their kid "Too Much"?
  • moonloon
    avatar
    I think "Too Much" might be a nickname because he says it all the time (you can see him saying it a few times as the camera sweeps over the comic book pages in the video, and he says it as an exclamation in the clip from the cartoon show). It's still a stupid name, though.

    If it is a nickname, I have to wonder how ridiculously idiotic his given name must be for him to prefer "Too Much" over it.
  • Toxen
    avatar
    Chuck Norris must be very self-concious. Also, what's up with the characters' costumes? And really, the "Super ninja"?

    You are a very tolerating man, Linkara.
  • E-Horus
    omg this is the worst chuck norriss ever!

    and why call a boy Too Much? XD
  • Mr Awesome
    wait is there not a Mr-T jokes.com hmm...
  • OriginalPatton  - re:
    No only Chuck Norris "facts" and if Chuck Norris is so good how come he can't win against Bruce Lee and keep in mind Chuck Norris even admitted he is no match for Bruce Lee. B)
  • sage7  - well...
    bruce lee was a god in human flesh.
  • OgawaBurukku
    A Children's Story is one of the best short stories ever. I read it in high school sometime and thought it was a really powerful look at what could happen in a communist America. Uh... unless I'm confusing stories... it's been ten years since I read it. But since you mentioned brainwashing, I'm guessing I'm on the right track. It's not a text book like in the comic, so it wouldn't be catching any bullets :D

    And dude, that's not a moving van, that's clearly an RV. You could have made so many better jokes had you gone the RV route XD
  • Linkara
    avatar
    http:// storagekingongrandriver.c om/UHaul.jpg

    If the shoe fits. :P
  • mr_rubino
    Maybe Chuck thinks it's a nonfiction story, thus favoring its use in elementary school. Certainly sounds like one of the far-right conspiracy theories he would believe in. It's not subtle but, hey, neither is Chuck Norris.
  • Domino Harvard
    Is it me, or does the SYPHONS title in 00:14 is more than just a still image? because the lines inside the font are somewhat moving? Maybe eye illusion? :0

    Honestly, the kid was called "Too Much"???
    are his parents THAT stupid??
    I think maybe it's because when he was born, his Mom n Dad was an idiot, so they looked the Dictionary and choosed a random word for the kid's name.. :woohoo:

  • PLA
    Maybe his middle name is Responsibility.
  • Ron Solo
    avatar
    Linkara, I want to thank you for all the work you put into these videos. You have a great sense of humor and I my favorites are definitely the "Miller Time" episodes. I hope the best for you and for plenty more episodes to come.

    From one nerd to the next,
    thanks.
  • Ollitsac Okim  - re:
    [quote=E-Horus]
    why call a boy Too Much?[/quote]
    maybe he doesn't take the "im not here right now" as a "i don't want to talk to you".

    (im not good at taking quotes out of context sorry for the not funny joke.)
    :(
  • Elrik Undersn
    avatar
    Heh, I remember seeing an episode of that cartoon.. Between that and the Rambo cartoon it was just.. why were these made into cartoons?! Eh well, great review as always Linkara!
  • TamLin
    I would hazard a guess that Ditko's involvement was probably somehow politically motivated. Ditto for the constant harping on that short story.
  • JimQuin
    avatar
    And it even comes in a handy "bullet hole entirely through the book" edition like that issue from a forgettable Malibu series. Now there's an idea for a potential list video, "Top 15 Idiotic Cover Gimmicks".
  • GLKnight
    avatar
    God, this comic was bad.

    An not even God could prevent it from roundhouse-ing the stupid into your face.

    Anyway, great review.
  • Bonkers
    avatar
    That`s just... wow.

    "Chuck Norris is the best" yeah sure. Chuck old body, you know it gets just sad, do you? I mean, to lend your name to this thing is almost like a parody.

    I mean what the fuck? Is he a god? Yeah sure, as soon as some ninja is intelligent enough to just shoot at him, we can all see how "divine" his powers of "waiting that my enemies attack first" really are. This is... wow. I know the eighties were bad, but this is a desperate Gary Stu comic story.

    And the kid... yeah as you said "Sidekick the comic". *sigh*
    But the part with them reading a story about "children being brainwashed into believing everything the teacher tells them" is just the mother of irony. I mean come on. Not only that they read it at such a young age, but considering how they are "thaught" what an aweosme man chuck Norris is, you could almost say, this teacher is supported by the church of the Norris, founded by the "Chuck Pope".

    And Super Ninja? Well, Naruto looks suddenly less ridiculous.

    And the weapon against terrorism is a RV. *laughs his ass off* What couldn`t they get Kid from Knight Rider?

    As always a great review and especially "Ninja style dancer" and your deadpan snark comment of "how long till the first exclamation of how awesome Chuck is" were just two of the best.
    And Dr. Claw... well, with him it would have been at least funny.
    But yeah, way better than the last two reviews. Keep it up again Linkara.

    By the way: Following a comment form Spoony there seems to be something with Dr. Insano I heard, you made up during the Kickassia "crossover"? If so, will we see it during the next two weeks or do we have to wait a bit longer? Not that it would be a problem if so, just curious.
  • Paranormal Rob
    avatar
    Ah Karate Kommandos... That show was always good for a few laughs. I remember that and Mr. T's cartoon which lasted for 30 episodes. Now who's the baddest?!

    God how I miss 80s cartoons... B)
  • Cheech
    I honestly never understood what's what about the whole "Chuck Norris" Thing.
    I mean, he sucks as an actor, he is unimpressive as a martial artist..
    I always thought he sucked, and still think he does..
    For me, Chuck Norris is as good as Steven Seagel or Jean Claud Van Damme (Exept Jean has a cool-ass name)
  • TragicGuineaPig
    avatar
    My guess: like this comic, his movies and TV shows cater to his gigantic ego.
  • mrskippy
    avatar
    Hey, cheech, not to worship the ground at Chuck Norris' feet or anything, and I agree that he is definitely not a good actor, but an "unimpressive" martial artist? I don't know how old you are, but back in the day, the dude won tons of tournament fights and titles, he was anything but unimpressive. Give credit where credit is due.
  • redmangc
    I dont know how or why you think the Undefeated Martial Artist is unimpressive but i knew this would happen, you would get the people who would see chuck norris as a god on this site or you would get those who dont understand but really its just a joke so there is no need to understand. Now me i like chuck and its funny how much people like him but hes a biggit. Lol but really im a Lee fan so linkara i want to see if you can find a bad Bruce Lee Kato Comic if thats possible
  • Dechha1981
    There was a time a few centuries ago when I was really into Jean Claude Van Damn. But even THEN I was never interested in Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris always seemed to me like a shorter, uglier, harier, American-accented, less interesting rip-off of Van Dam. Oh, and now he's a right-wing homophobe. Even better.
  • jjflash
    "...and now he's a right-wing homophobe. Even better."

    So he's right-wing...and? That's a broad spectrum politically (Linkara is right wing, the AVGN is right wing, etc). Just because he's a jagoff doesn't mean all (or even most) right wingers are.

    Also, remember that there are just as many left wing homophobes as well (Kim Jong Il, Fidel Castro, Bill Richardson , Pete Stark, Eric Alterman, etc).
    http://www.advocate.com/ News/Daily_News/2008/04/ 08/ Liberals_and_Their_Invisi ble_Homophobia/

    Once again, perspective is everything and not generalizing an entire group is key.
  • sgreen  - Regarding Tabe.
    You know, it's really pretty awful the way that they make the Sumo Wrestler's name the Japanese word for "eat".
  • Crystalhawk
    avatar
    Something makes me think this might just be a coincidence. After all I have a hard time imagining the people who wrote this having the interest to look this up...

    On the same topic, the square ninjas seem to suddenly have transfromed into the sun ninjas judging by their head..wear in the end fight.
  • Achim
    Hi, first of all, I really enjoy your show, your sarcasm is not as over the top as that of other reviewers here.
    Second, Kommando is commando in German, just as a side note ;)so maybe he just likes Germans :D.
    Cheers
  • e33laf
    U.S. Anti - Terrorism Conference as a Elementary School field trip!? :dry: Geez, when I was that age, a trip to The Fluverium with lunch at McDonald's was as good as we ever got.

    As for the comic...Good Lord Chuck, Gary Stu much!?
  • Ota-Kun
    avatar
    Did you know Chuck Norris' action figure has slept with more women then most men?

    I kid but bravo Linkara XD That was mostly painless. Like taking off a bandaid, or the ducttape those ninjas should have used to tie those kids up with.

    What's actually the most ironic thing about this is the ninjas decide to capture that particular classroom, on that particular day, when they just HAPPEN to be talking about the 'amazing' RV.
  • Linkara
    avatar
    Actually I thought I mentioned it, but they were actually specifically targeting that kid because of his connection to Chuck Norris.
  • Entenman
    CHUCK NORRIS
  • Cross X. Brand  - Im a Martial Arts Geek so let me say this:
    avatar
    Chuck Norris is Black Belt in Hapkido which is basically the Korean Equivelant to The Japanese Aikido [Grapples/locks/throws] [Both founders trained under the same sensei then one went to S.Korea, and the other stayed in Japan] And the only reason he ever became famous, was through Bruce Lee's Influence including some expensive training sessions. After Bruce passed and Martial arts became big, so did Chuck, who now hocks crappy exercise equipment, while guys like Seagal, JCVD, Jackie, and Jet Li are working their old asses off to still earn a paycheck
  • thelaughingfool
    avatar
    You know, anyone who thinks that Chuck Norris is a god of martial arts should remember that one of his first big movie roles was him getting his ass kicked by the real god of martial arts.
  • Kinsore
    avatar
    i too am getting really annoyed with the extreme amount of hype Chuck Norris is still getting.

    off the top of my head i can think of 3 other actors who (in real life) could kick his ass so fast The Flash would miss it.

    1. Bruce Lee: the legend who in most of his fight scenes had to get high speed cameras because the regular cameras couldn't pick up his movement.

    2. Jackie Chan: said to be one of the very few true kung fu masters (having learned and mastered every single form of kung fu). He has also been in more movies than any other living person.

    3. Jet Li: he is the Chinese national wushu champion... oh and he is awesome.

    and really "Super Ninja" they may as well have called him "Super Shiny Hair Do Man"
  • thelaughingfool
    avatar
    You forget, Bruce Lee did kick Chuck's ass. Ever see Way of the Dragon?
  • kyuuketsuki  - FAIL
    First off, let me tell you that you don't know anything about martial arts, or famous martial artists...

    Allow me to explain by telling you a little bit about the three people you listed...

    1) Bruce Lee - Taught directly by Ip Man, but didn't get very far due to lack of time. Bruce Lee trained under the legendary Ip Man for about 1 year, and continued to train 1955 on under William Cheung and Wong Shun Leung. Now, that level of training would get you to about intermediate, personal training might bolster that to advanced (which Bruce did, but did not change the fact that his knowledge was that of an intermediate Wing Chun practitioner). He did possess a natural talent that allowed him to have great speed, and a shorter left leg which helped his lightning fast kicks. I love Bruce Lee, and think the Tao of Jeet Kun Do is a fantastic philosophy, one that I have taken up as well, but he is not really the greatest (though he probably is the greatest martial artist to hit the silver screen). I still respect him and do look up to him. He did more training than anyone else. Bruce Lee was considered a master for creating a "new" martial arts philosophy known as Jeet Kun Do (I say "new" because it was hardly new, many martial arts did it in the past, Bruce just made it famous and put it in writing)(oh and it was NOT a martial art, though it could have evolved into one had Bruce not died, but as he left it, it was no more than a very effective philosophy on how to view martial arts). Oh and he was one hell of a Cha Cha dancer, and he did win a competition for that in Hong Kong.

    2) Jackie Chan- ARE YOU INSANE?! There is NO PERSON ON EARTH WHO COULD EVER MASTER EVERY FORM OF KUNG FU! NO MAN AT ALL! What Jackie Chan mastered was kung-fu that was taught in the Peking Opera School. The primary focus of the Peking Opera School is to teach acrobatics and acting, martial arts to my knowledge, though taught, is not the main focus. Jackie did excel at acrobatics and martial arts while there, but he did not master every chinese martial art. There are hundreds of forms and styles of kung-fu. To master them all would take five lifetimes of training and learning. In fact, I can PROVE that Jackie is not better... Watch any of his movies... Does he show any REAL martial arts? No... He entertains and does stunts, the closest you'll see is Drunken Master, but he doesn't do any serious martial arts there either, but its far more impressive than most of his other movies which accentuate stunts rather than martial arts.

    3) Jet Li - Here is yet another great martial artist who did not train nearly long enough to become completely proficient. He trained for 3 years in Wushu. Like Bruce he possessed a natural talent which allowed him to win the National Wushu Championship, but he stopped training and went into acting after that. Is he a great fighter? Yes, could I beat him? Probably not.

    Are any o...
  • Ravael
    While I agree with most of Kyuuketsuki's comments, there is just one thing I'd like to add. Since I don't like to spew out crap that I've never researched and present it as fact, here's a quote from a book written by Chuck himself: "Of course, we never actually fought offscreen, because Bruce didn't compete in professional tournaments." So no, Bruce and Chuck didn't fight off-screen, but they did work out together and learn each other's martial arts styles that way. Also, as a side note, when Bruce "killed" Chuck Norris in the movie "Way of the Dragon", Chuck was at the time the current world karate champion (these facts also coming from Chuck's book). I don't mean to add to the Chuck worship that seems to be going on nowadays, but if people are going to argue about who could win in a fight between Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris, at least look at the facts instead of basing an opinion on scripted movies or events that never happened.
  • CrimsonMoonMist
    Even Chuck can't escape bad comic adaptations,
    WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW PEOPLE?
  • jaceame
    Chuck norris the commando
    Chuck norris martial arts master
    Chuck norris the 80's porn star
  • lonewolf23k
    avatar
    People who believe in the Memetic Badass Norris should read this comic, just for a massive dosage of reality.
  • petrino
    nobody reviews chuck norris...chuck norris reviews you!!!!
  • elvenscout742
    "Tabe" (??, pronounced properly the first time) is the stem of the Japanese word for "to eat".
  • im2not2cory  - sorry dude but i think you missed the point of chu
    see we make these about chuck norris becuase.... its something everyone can find entertaining and yet kinda insparational.

    we make him out to be an unstopable war ending super being becuase WE ourselves wish to be that. and the chuck norris fact list is just to funny to call stupid and dissmiss.


    ALL HAIL THE CHUCK NORRIS!!!!! :woohoo:
  • Kari  - I cal it stupid and dismiss it.
    Sorry, but I have to disagree. The internet meme thing is just something I never understood. I know I'm not the only one. I was relieved it got left off of this review for the most part. It's so ubiquitous that including it might be perceived as an obligation, which it shouldn't be. The more people quote the same stuff at me, the less funny it is. (Seriously, go to a tabletop RPG session, and see how long you can keep from throttling the next guy who makes a Holy Grail reference, thinking it the height of wit.)

    I guess most of us are inspired by heroic tales of superbeings, or we wouldn't read comics, and if we didn't read comics, we probably wouldn't be here. I get where you're coming from. Just- some of us are not inspired or entertained by that particular thing.
  • nicol-baka
    maybe i'm wrong because it wasn't portrayed this way in the comic but in the into to the show that played at the end from the way they said the name and the brief glimpse of him that 'Too Much' is supposed to be Asian? I mean some Asian names are sort of broken up like that (notably Chinese) but 'Too Much' isn't even close to sounding or being Asian which makes it come off as really offensive...

    it amuses me how it seems they're trying to go for the PC diverse cast but they only cover two ethnic groups (assuming the chick and Too Much are white)
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