When a movie is making Michael Bay look good, you know its bad.
Transmorphers
Written by Film Brain Friday, 10 July 2009 00:36
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Comments (269)
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07.09.2009 - 20:40 | Coldguy
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FB is also one of the better nc guys :cheer:
the chick sucks :unsure:
and so does angry Joe :whistle:
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07.09.2009 - 20:51 | Evil Betty
Spoony just reviewed the prequel to Transmorphers on his site. Guess it sucked less than Transformers 2. Don't know if that's saying much though.
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07.09.2009 - 20:55 | The sad panda
I still wonder how may copies of each movies they actually manage to sold.
those poor random buyers. :(
fabulous review =D
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12.09.2010 - 19:17 | samuraiblood 21
well they also made pirates of treasure island and where long john silvers nickname is barbecue
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07.09.2009 - 20:59 | Sterner
Wait...Linkara is an alien? O_o
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07.09.2009 - 21:23 | SpazzMaster
...There's no fate but what we make for ourselves...and based on this piece of shit, we're doomed.
Nice review!!!
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I looked up the budget for this movie, $300,000. I'm guessing they actually didn't pay the "actors" but rather fed them. So you see they weren't after a paycheck after all, just some bread sticks and flat soda.
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07.09.2009 - 21:31 | Van Ultimo
The Aliens vs Predator rip off stars William Katt, aka: The Greatest American Hero. There's your silver lining.
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Wait, time out... you review a movie from a company who have made so bad movies, none is rated above 1 on IMDB, and they have even get sewed? I am sorry to ask; but why even bother? This wasn't really that entertaining to watch, because you are kicking a dead horse.
Besides, almost everyone; can you shut the hell up about that you think the Transformers movies sucks already? I hear it all over internet as it is, and I'm getting sick of it. Yes, I love the movie. In comparison with you people, I realize it's a more than watchable movie.
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07.09.2009 - 21:54 | Linkara
I wasn't aware of this film's existence until now, so I'm glad he did a review of it.
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[quote=Kurvos]I am sorry to ask; but why even bother?[/quote]Well, partially, from the sound of it, to do a sort of tongue-in-cheek counter to all the people begging for a Transformers review of sorts, I guess...but also because, well, this is the Bad Movie Beatdown! Any bad movie is up for grabs, whether or not everyone knows/assumes it's bad.
I'd say it'd be more beating a dead horse if he were to review every movie in this studio's library, or if, say, Linkara did a review of several different Gary Brodsky comic series...THAT would be beating a dead horse. One review from this studio should be sufficient...hopefully. ;)
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07.09.2009 - 22:04 | Film Brain
Well, seeing as I've had complaints that the movies I've done were "too good", I think it was time to settle those comments by doing something [i]really[/i] awful.
Dead horse they may be, be still need a good going over. A lot of their movies are rated '1' on IMDb by people without actually having seen them, just purely based on reputation. And some don't know what their movies are like, so I think this was worthy of a review.
And we did intend this to be last week, timed with [b]Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen[/b], but technical difficulties meant it had to be pushed back a week.
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[quote=Film Brain] A lot of their movies are rated '1' on IMDb by people without actually having seen them, just purely based on reputation.[/quote] Whether it's deserving of the score or not, it is always frustrating to see that sort of practice. Happens a lot in the game industry related sites as well, though moreso based on 'controversial' games than anything else.
Game either has a review controversy or a 'review embargo' = Instant '1' ratings!
At any rate, as an audio guy, listening to the clips from this movie was more painful than the visuals were. :s
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07.10.2009 - 06:59 | KurvosWell, I'm sorry if my comment seemed to be very harsh and like I was mad. But really, is it fair I get rated down just because I like Transformers 2? Is it really fair I get rated down JUST BECAUSE I happen to really like Transformers 2? Well, people.... I am SO SORRY for having an opinion!!!
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[quote=Kurvos]But really, is it fair I get rated down just because I like Transformers 2? Is it really fair I get rated down JUST BECAUSE I happen to really like Transformers 2? Well, people.... I am SO SORRY for having an opinion!!![/quote]Given that you liking Transformers 2 was only part of your comment, it's hard to tell whether you were down rated for that, or for telling everyone to 'shut the hell up' about Transformer, or for the whole 'beating a dead horse' part earlier on in the comment.
It's hard to just assume which one part, if any, was a particular part that people were responding to.
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07.10.2009 - 22:05 | Richard WeskerYou're welcome to your opinion, Kurvos, but guess what? So is everyone else. That's why when you say "almost everyone; can you shut the hell up
about that you think the Transformers movies sucks already", people take offense to it and subsequently rate you down, just as they did when you called me a dumbass in Doug's review of Revenge of the Fallen.
That kind of shit doesn't fly around here, man. It's hypocritical for you to ask people who don't agree with you to keep their opinions to themselves while you should be allowed to express yours freely. It's also wrong to flame, needless to say.
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05.24.2010 - 15:52 | JasonBond
it's true,people are always doing that with movies and games,like my girlfriend did with Resident Evil:Darkside Chronicles...Come on!She said that it's the worst thing on all the planet,but she didn't even play it and it has worst RE games,like Survivor.She told me that she had it and that she was happy. :pinch: :X
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09.06.2009 - 13:11 | dethf_ck
Your post gave me a headaches. Works on you grammar.
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07.09.2009 - 21:59 | Moore
I saw this once in Blockbusters (considering the name of the establishment, it kind of makes that ironic) I kept looking at the box trying to make sure my glasses weren't broke and I was seeing clearly cause I couldn't believe someone would make such blatant rip off. I also heard about Snakes on a Train, but I never knew the company was that shameless.
Good review, lol that CG was horrible.
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07.09.2009 - 22:13 | Firestorm94
Gosh, an entire studio dedicated to ripping off more successful movies.
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07.09.2009 - 22:22 | Film BrainThey have recently tried to move away from the rip-offs, even if the quality hasn't really improved - Ladies and gentlemen, I present [b]Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus[/b]:
[url]http:// www.youtube.com/watch? v=V7u1vJlLFa4[/url]
Believe it or not, getting a UK cinema release in one cinema.
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07.10.2009 - 01:12 | Evil BettyBelieve it or not, their films are rather prominently placed in the Blockbusters here in Taiwan, getting shelf space right along all the other "new releases" that were shown in the theaters. Not sure if that is true in the States or not.
Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus actually snagged my eye, and I caught myself trying to understand the Chinese on the back to figure out what the heck the movie was about. :confused:
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07.09.2009 - 22:36 | thekhanThe Sci-fi channel plays movies by these guys all the time. Proof that they have given up and don't care about quality anymore.
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07.09.2009 - 22:38 | Sl0th
My condolences to anyone foolish enough to pick up this film. You'd have been better off if you'd flushed your money down a toilet. That movie appears to have absolutely no redeeming value. If nothing else, it does make the live-action Transformers look like a cinematic masterpiece by contrast.
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07.09.2009 - 22:40 | Random ViewerYou`re more annoying than the bad movie itself. Making a comment each five second that almost sounds like nitpicking.
No offence, you could be better.
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07.09.2009 - 22:44 | Film BrainIsn't the whole "commenting every five seconds" thing kind of the point? Given it's a [i]review[/i]?
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[quote=Film Brain]Isn't the whole "commenting every five seconds" thing kind of the point? Given it's a [i]review[/i]?[/quote]I mean, it's not like no one else on this website does it...most certainly not some critic of things nostalgic at the least... :dry:
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05.21.2010 - 21:36 | cnk13
Film Brain I never agree with you on alot of things, but htis review 100% agree.
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07.09.2009 - 22:56 | jam287In the U.S. military women in positions of authority (which is every position besides private I guess) are required to be called sir. It's partly a co-ed thing, where they don't want to discriminate against women, and partly a authoritative thing as being called sir shows authority.
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[quote=jam287]In the U.S. military women in positions of authority (which is every position besides private I guess) are required to be called sir. It's partly a co-ed thing, where they don't want to discriminate against women, and partly a authoritative thing as being called sir shows authority.[/quote]Really? I thought "Sir" or "Ma'am" were both acceptable ways of addressing an officer...otherwise, you'd just refer to them by their actual rank, like Commander, Lieutenant, and the such.
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07.09.2009 - 23:13 | LinkaraNot to mention while I can understand for the military peeps, but the councilmembers get referred to as sir, as well?
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[quote=Linkara]Not to mention while I can understand for the military peeps, but the councilmembers get referred to as sir, as well?[/quote]I don't know/understand fully myself...but I still find it all sort of weird.
I mean, if the intent is to not have some sort of 'sexist' undertone in referring to a woman as 'Ma'am' instead of 'Sir,' then the goal should be to remove ANY gender specific title for an individual, and always refer to them by rank and nothing else.
That's just how I view it.
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07.09.2009 - 23:17 | jam287It might only be a certain branch of the military that does it (like the army) but I've only heard of women being referred to as sir and people getting reprimanded for saying ma'am or something similar.
Edit: I looked it up real fast, some branches of the military do use ma'am but it didn't say all of them did. I know I've heard of women being called sirs.
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07.10.2009 - 01:16 | Evil BettyI'm an Army veteran, and we always called them Ma'am. Of course, I was combat arms, and we didn't run into too many of them in our MOS, but the philosophy was that calling them sir was actually the disrespectful thing, not the other way around.
Maybe it was different in other divisions. Things aren't homogeneous across even the same military branch, after all.
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07.10.2009 - 01:38 | ChaosD1
I'm a former U.S. Marine, and Ma'am was the only acceptable thing to call a female officer.
And we SURE as hell didn't call them, "Mr." (Even if some of them may have bordered the line a bit...)
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[quote=Linkara]Not to mention while I can understand for the military peeps, but the councilmembers get referred to as sir, as well?[/quote] [quote=Linkara]Not to mention while I can understand for the military peeps, but the councilmembers get referred to as sir, as well?[/quote]I just want to say that I love AT4W.
Also to Film Brain I love BMB and can't wait for the next one.
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State-side, anyone who is even remotely familiar with military circles understands that a woman is a called ma'am off the battlefield.
The fact they use it constantly...I assume either signifies that the characters are apparently in deep sh-t/constant peril....or it reinforces your review and the writer is more dangerous with a laptop in a Starbucks than any of these characters were with their super-zappy guns.
Movies like this are what kills the science fiction genre. I say skewer to your hearts content.
As far as the review, however flat it may have fallen (I don't see it, but...) is strictly the movie you reviewed. Your damn good, and I will continue to watch.
One more thing (like I need to talk more, right?) may I suggest you review movies older than wouldn't fall under the aegis of "nostalgia"...such as Reefer Madness?
[url]http:// video.google.com/ videoplay?docid=- 7685192415707087423[/url]
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07.09.2009 - 23:34 | Film Brain[quote]State-side, anyone who is even remotely
familiar with military circles understands that a woman is a called ma'am off the battlefield. The fact they use it constantly...I assume either signifies that the characters are apparently in deep sh-t/constant peril....or it reinforces your review and the writer is more dangerous with a laptop in a Starbucks than any of these characters were with their super-zappy guns.[/quote]
I get the sneaking suspicion that this was originally written as a mostly-male cast and then they cast women in those roles. Which might explain things like the constant "sir"s and "Mr. Chairman Who Is A Woman".
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does twn p, mean ten pounds? as in 10.000$?
if so, even i could write a better SHORTER movie, hell, i just wrote the script! :woohoo:
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02.03.2013 - 18:53 | Drunken_Soviet
No, 2p means..... 2p, they're essentially our equivelant of American Cents,
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07.09.2009 - 23:47 | Flutterbya
haha your reviews are getting better and better. nice job! I quite enjoyed it =)
also, I really like the background information you gave about the movie and the company. I never knew they existed, but now I find it very funny. i do remember seeing 'the da vinci treasure' in stores, but never knew that there was a company devoted to stealing movies.
bravo! I look forward to the next one
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07.09.2009 - 23:49 | Lybra
Weird how things fall into place, I find a random review of Transmorphers while perusing Youtube, then BAM Spoony reviews the sequel, then FADOK you do an in-depth review of the original. Coincidence... or providence?!
But I digress, dear Lord this movie looks awful. These Asylum people couldn't have consciously looked at finished product and gone "Yeah, damn we're good!" unless the crew was comprised of those little wind-up monkeys that bang cymbals. The acting was... nonexistent. It's like watching a porno without the sex. Regardless, I look forward to the next video. Its always good to see people tear Eddie Murphy a new one.
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07.12.2009 - 18:46 | trigger12speaking oif such, porno has better actors. lol
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07.10.2009 - 00:01 | ZionSuedeI remember seeing this movie in Woolworths last year. I stood the hell away from it.
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07.10.2009 - 00:32 | Griff Morivan
It was said by someone else, but it's true. Anyone in an authoritative rank is to be called Sir on default, regardless of gender, though some people will prefer and request Ma'am or Madam, it defaults to Sir.
That said. My God, man, you are really doing well. This one is great, and I applaud you. Well done.
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07.10.2009 - 00:45 | DecKrash
Okay, lemme first say that I'm one of those weirdos who actually liked Transformers. But then again, I'm just very easy to please. I even like Roland Emmerich's movies (except Godzilla. That one was a steaming piece of crap). But yeah. Transmorphers (my God, that sounds like a reject title for Power Rangers!) was just headache-inducing. The visual effects looked like someone green screened everything, and I've seen better acting in 2nd string soft porn flicks! Thanks for the review, dude. Now go ahead and take some Tylenol and go lie down. You deserve it.
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I honestly think Power Rangers had better special affects lmao!!! Nice review, the ass hole's who made all those movie knock-offs needs to stop lol.
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07.10.2009 - 00:57 | Booze Zombie
Bloody hell... that was the most boring clip-slideshow I've ever seen.
Good thing there was a review to keep me going.
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"It's a crap! I repeat, it's a crap!" Hahaha.
Actually I didn't like your BMB series that much, but this one was AWESOME. I'll keep watching them. Nice work!
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07.10.2009 - 01:13 | Shinigami
Thanks Film Brain. That was funny review.
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