Night of Horror

(97 votes, average 4.82 out of 5)

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Comments (51)
  • irondrum  - XDDD
    LOL Classic Snob!
  • ladydiskette  - Great review Snob :D
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    I bet Brad's comfty big chair missed him, lol, and this horror movie is just freaking dull and boring, it should be marketed as a safe and prescriptionless anatesthic to use in surgery because it could put anyone watching it into a coma for a week.

    Wow, it tells you something when the movie you are remaking is worse than your horribly made original.
  • Unclejulio
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    My god... I never knew a horror movie could be so boring... you'd think it would at least keep your attention.
  • ladydiskette
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    lol I hope you didn't actually fall asleep in your big comfty chair watching the movie while rehearsing your review Brad, because they should seriously market this film as a safe anathestic for surgery. This film is so dull and boring it would probably put you into a coma for weeks. T____T
  • ShadyJay
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    Brad's armchair looks so comfy with that pillow... I don't think that I could ever sit through any of the movies he's revewing without falling asleep.
  • GLKnight
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    More like Night of WHERE THE FUCK IS THIS MOVIE GOING AND WHY IS IT NOT A HORROR FILM?!?!
  • ladydiskette  - REO Speedwagon?
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    11:05-Hmmm, looks more like the leader singer from the band Boston to me.
  • honestiago
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    Not only was the "horror" part of the title a lie, the "night" part was as well. A more accurate title would be "'Day for Night' of Boredom."

    I think I figured out the poem that girl read. It was:

    Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    This movie sucks
    I won't fuck you
    (so stop leering at me, you dirty hippie)
  • Deimos1984rd
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    Thank god you did fast forward in that droning long speech, oh and by the way is it just me or did the zombies sound like robots?
  • The_Awesometeer
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    Just wanted to share with you that, this video is that last thing I am watching before I go to bed. It did make me sleepy so thanks.
  • DarkBee
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    Yeah, the snobbing was almost as boring as the movie itself, unfortunately.
  • Shinigami
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    Another one of these? I starting to think that Snob is actually obsessed with movies about ghost confederacies.
  • JasonGodOfNostalgia
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    this...is a horror movie? looks more like a high school project to me. this movie makes ben stein far more interesting to listen to. great job mr snob.

    say , ever tried reviewing Jason Goes To Hell? yes I know it hasent been done on TGWTG , and I seem to be one of the many minorities who actually likes the film disbite its flaws. to em its a guilty pleasure.

    I have yet to see someone review Wishmaster , Lake Placid , Virus , Relic , Valentine , Dracula 2000 , Book Of Shadows Blair Witch 2 , Doom , Manhunter , The Exorcist Films , The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Franchise , BOTH The Alien & Predator Franchise As Well As AVP & AVP-R (which ironically I plan on doing a FULL Alien/Predator/& AVP Retrospective after I get some proper equipment) , etc I can go on forever.

    on a video note myself , my 41st video is being loaded to vimeo and will be loaded to TGWTG shortly of my 28th Ultimate Music Video The Game By Motorhead.

    to mr snob , great job on the new review. if you ever want to talk , send me an email sometime. if not , at least check out my ultimate music videos. if not mr snob , I am sure someone at TGWTG may like to see some bad ass music videos that mr vin diesel actually told me he liked. yeah you heard me right. long story I am pretty sure I will tell sometime in the distant future.

    take care mr snob,
    LordJason1986
  • Lonny
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    Yeah, I wanna see a Wishmaster review too. It was an AWFUL movie.

    One of my friends was in a band who's song was on the Wishmaster soundtrack.

    After seeing it, I figured out why he didn't promote the movie much. Haha!
  • Atwosheds
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    There was also a movie movie that came out in 2005 called 2001 Maniacs that had Confederate ghosts. It starred Robert Englund no less. It also had a pretty good cameo by Eli Roth where he reprises his role of Grim the skater from Cabin Fever, and he even has Doctor Mambo with him.
  • LikaLaruku
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    The review was totally entertaining, but it's the dullest horror movie you've ever reviewed.
  • satireknight
    Well, some directors do actually remake their own movies, like Alfred Hitchcock. The difference is that Alfred Hitchcock didn't SUCK, and he had way better ideas than zombie Confederate soldiers.

    By a funny coincidence, I'm currently reading a novel about ghostly Confederate soldiers (Cherie Priest). I dearly wish THAT had been made into a movie instead.
  • FunkyM
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    My god. That was a horror movie? Where was the horror? That was just a bunch of people talking! You could've made that into a stage-play, and then just maybe it would've been interesting.

    Good vid, CS. And thankyou for pre-warning us about the Fast-forwarding. Nobody else seems to.
  • ionpath
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    Best intro ever! Good to see you back CS, it's been since a proper Cinema Snob review.
  • Mayhem66
    I don't think that the title is pronounced Night of Horror. I think that what we believe to be "horror" is actually the phonetic spelling of the filmmaker's dozed-off mumbling sound.

    "Hrrerrmr"
  • alexthed
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    I'd like to read that list of why Manos isn't the worst movie ever.
  • Twelfth Doctor
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    Thank god there's not another one of those!... FUCK!!

    Cracks me up every time =')
  • jehaney
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    I'm going to make your day. This and "Curse" were not the only two "Civil war zombie" movies made.

    In 1993, a movie called "Ghost Brigade" ("Grey Knight" on IMDb.com) told the "true story" of a small band of union and Confederate soldiers who joined forces to fight off the re-animated bodies of their dead comrades. It actually has a pretty decent cast, including Martin Sheen, Corbin Bernson, Adrian Pasdar, David Arquette, and Billy Bob Thornton.

    While the movie sounds terrible, I promise it's not. At any rate, it's still a hell of a lot better than this shit. I'd recommend it, if for no other reason than to see that such a concept can be pulled off competently.
  • Moomoof
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    wait where was the movie? you get a skull and oput it where it belongs....so where is the tragedy? did the girl go back the dead guy what the fuck movie Dx awful painful
  • AdventChild
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    Another movie about Confederate ghosts/zombies and this one takes the boredom cake. Yeesh, why does this seem to have the need to one up Manos on the dull scale!
  • TheBlackMage
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    Night of horror? Jeez, that doesn't sound like the most generic thing ever. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to have myself a bottle of carbonated fructose drink!
  • Flaregun
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    OK, *trying* to play Devil's Advocate here, you *could* argue that the "there was no horror in this horror film" complaint isn't really justified, as it doesn't seem to me this film was really trying to be a shit-your-pants scary Freddie Kruger type horror movie (despite the title). I think they were trying to do a more of a mysterious ghost story thing (the confederates are clearly ghosts and not intended to be zombies of any kind, so the whole "ANOTHER Confederate zombie movie?" shtick was deliberately misleading on Brad's part for the sake of a joke) In fact, believe it or not, I think rather than going for any cheap scares they were trying to be arty & pretentious, but were so goddamm inept that they couldn't even pull off a recognizable attempt at pretentiousness.

    I gotta wonder though, at what point does a pile of exposed film fail to adequately enough meet the definition of "movie" for the Snob to review it? You can barely see or hear this film to the point where it almost doesn't exist. Also, I suspect that the filmmakers consider this project more of a practice run or training exercise where they were just trying to learn how to use the equipment & assemble a script. ...Then again, I also felt that way about their more "polished" remake version. In fact, that tends to be the way I feel about most of the films the Snob reviews.

    Oh, and I was more than a little disappointed that so-called "REO Speedwagon" guy was never identified as "70's Frank Zappa", for which he was a near dead ringer (at least as far as I could tell with the muddy picture).
  • JimmydelaKopin  - Well, it was the 70's...
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    Back in the 70's there were a number of horror/suspense movies made with not too big a budget. They relied more on actors and atmosphere, good setting and bgm, to create the scares, a technique called visualization.

    The problem is that Malanowski didn't make a script that could utilize visualization. Ten minutes of shooting the breeze in a bar? All the driving? A campfire scene? And all it leads to is a scene where the ghosts stand some distance away and talk about how they wound up ghosts?
    If there was more of a payoff at the climax, then the rest could be seen as building a misdirecting atmosphere--which would make it a movie worth seeing. As it is, ghosts appear, ghosts whine, skull is buried, ghosts wander away. That's not so much a climax as it is a "Hey, it happens to all men at least once" moment.
    Seriously, "Weasels Rip My Flesh" had more of a climax than this movie!
  • mrskippy
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    Anyone else think it would be awesome for Brad to re-edit these movies with his own titles, subtitles, and music? So that he could change the opening text, tell us what the guys at the bar are actually saying (I think I heard one of them say something about wetting the bed at one point...?) and put in real war songs during the re-enactment footage?

    Also, the bearded guy looked a little like 8-bit Mickey during the night scenes.
  • VtheHappyLurker
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    Nice to see a new Snob video up. Unlike Manos, not even MST3K could've made this interesting from the looks of it. And restless Civil War ghosts/zombies sounded like a promising idea, too...
  • SpeedyEric
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    I wonder if there are any other Confederate zombie movies, and if so, I wonder if they're any good.

    1:57- That's what I say about "Skyline."

    Why is someone named Tony Stark involved with these two films. I should note that I'm writing this before I go see "Thor" in theatres, and I'm wearing my Iron Man shirt.

    7:46- The smear on the camera lense kinda reminds me if if a man made of crap was watching this in "Mystery Science Theatre 3000."

    The piano score sounds like a crapier version of the "Cheers" theme.

    I love the part where you try to fall asleep.
  • LordOfWin
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    Oh, how I missed you. Hope you enjoyed yourself at what I assume was filming for the 3rd-year anniversary. Because god knows you suffer enough as it is. Also, I want your chair.
  • Blitzkrieg1701
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    Am I the only one who thinks the "star" (I can't bring myself to say that without quotes) looks quite a bit like Frank Zappa?

    Granted, if that were the case, the soundtrack wouldn't have sucked anywhere NEAR this bad...
  • Dierna
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    Tony Stark??? Seems to be a pseudonym for Tony Malanowski who edited, starred in, Directed, executive produced, and wrote the screen play for this movie...yeah...
  • thedoctornw
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    You fast-forwarded? You monster! :P
  • TheCrossOnTheWall  - hehe
    i have to be honest. i replayed you yelling FUCK about the movie about 73times before i actually watched the review.
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