3 Ninjas PDF Print E-mail
Written by That Guy With The Glasses   
Sunday, 20 July 2008 01:59



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693
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written by ilTGWTG , July 20, 2008
wow that was hiiiilarious



pretty bad movie huh
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written by Gene , July 20, 2008
I remember this movie, looking back on it makes me again realize how i wasted my childhood
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1225
.
written by the turk , July 20, 2008
lol the bit about the ninja answering the telaphone is hilerous
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written by Saizuchi , July 20, 2008
Sweet early review
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1579
Gee..
written by escapadeq , July 20, 2008
I used to like this movie when I was a kid. Now seeing your review as an adult, it IS full of crap that I hadn't noticed before!

Review: hilarious as always!
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109
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written by Coldguy , July 20, 2008
3 Ninjas strike back has one of them using a gamegear to get points and beat up the bad guys...yea they are all that bad.
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110
Eksplenaeshun
written by elephantom , July 20, 2008
CAKE=Piece of cake. Took me a while too. smilies/grin.gif
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982
Well
written by Quang , July 20, 2008
I used to watch this movie alot when I was small, but then ofcourse, as being a small kid, I couldn't notice these lame scenes.

I believe NC made these reviews for humorous purposes, rather than intentionally ranting about them.
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written by forgottenmemoriesfm , July 20, 2008
YES!! so true
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written by Raymond T ThatDutchGuyWithTheTransformers , July 20, 2008
Word! smilies/cool.gif
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written by Lordifani , July 20, 2008
Hilarious, as always! That movie looks REALLY bad.
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348
Oh my...
written by DarioPhantom , July 20, 2008
I cannot believe how bad this movie is...ugh....
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written by Bohemian Piratess , July 20, 2008
Cake. smilies/cheesy.gif
I never saw this movie, and am glad.
Spelling mistake = 'Tochstone'
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written by CannonGod , July 20, 2008
Yeah there's a typo at the end, but should be easily fixed smilies/smiley.gif

Another great vid NC. Don't change your style!
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written by nfreak141 , July 20, 2008
Another bad Ninja movie. >.<

What is it about ninjas that spells "Overrated by child audiences?"

Great review. (And THAT'S a incomplete sentence that actually makes sense. smilies/smiley.gif)
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written by Gweedo , July 20, 2008
Awful movie. Am I wrong or grandpa is Egg Shen from Big Trouble In Little China?
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1043
Cake?
written by MrThumbsup , July 20, 2008
The cake is a lie.

Just wanted to go ahead and be the first one to eventually say that. Gimme apoint if you get the reference.
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written by estefan , July 20, 2008
Hilarious review.

I haven't seen 3 Ninjas, though, but I highly doubt it's as bad as the shit-fest known as Surf Ninjas.
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453
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written by Gentleman , July 20, 2008
Y'know, in almost every single NC video I've seen, the NC always says "Y'know" at the start of it! smilies/wink.gif
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dude..., Lowly rated comment [Show]
2653
I haven't seen them... luckily
written by Kurvos , July 20, 2008
Yeah, I have just heard of them. But the title and the cover was enough for me to get that these movies sucks. When you can see on the cover how bad a movie is, that's crise!
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written by ClumsyJohan , July 20, 2008
Cake smilies/tongue.gif
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written by DarkTom , July 20, 2008
Oh shite, I saw this movie in the cinema, in sweden. smilies/shocked.gif
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written by skateman555 , July 20, 2008
"You're supposed to wear that at night!"

"What's the point of hiring a ninja to answer the telephone?"

"Cooked cabbages."

Genius. I don't think that guy with the glasses will ever jump the shark.
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633
Cake.
written by Bordeaux , July 20, 2008
I would vote for Bacon.... just... just a celebratory "Bacon."

Well done, NC! And early too! smilies/cheesy.gif
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written by Flaric , July 20, 2008
For some strange reason this movie had a "16+" rating in Europe. - While movies like "Alien" movie had a "15+" rating.
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2715
Next video
written by Alice_Cooper988 , July 20, 2008
Great video... smilies/grin.gif smilies/grin.gif

Next video 3 Ninjas part 2....



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272
Haha
written by BlockJuice , July 20, 2008
At the end you spelt Touchstone Pictures wrong.
You forgot the U.
LOL
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1568
Whoa.
written by MrM , July 20, 2008
I have not seen this film nor do I plan to, but that was one of the best Critic vids yet! smilies/grin.gif smilies/grin.gif smilies/grin.gif
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written by KenRajiU , July 20, 2008
yup it must have sucked ass

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written by Oatmeal , July 20, 2008
Oh man, did I need this. All day it's been boring and then this awesome review pops up. smilies/smiley.gif
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2673
wow
written by Madman152 , July 20, 2008
You should review the last Ninja Movie with Hulk Hogan that movie sucked harder than this one!
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written by BabyImplosion , July 20, 2008
thanks for making my day. glad to see this up. great review of it.
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written by EmuFan , July 20, 2008
JELLYBEANS! Hilarious review!
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260
Wow
written by nsonic79 , July 20, 2008
I was really stupid as a kid back then... smilies/sad.gif
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written by UraharaZR , July 20, 2008
Lol at movie,kudos at NC.Another awesome rewiev that maked my day a bit brighter.
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written by ncandavgnpwn , July 20, 2008
This is a great example of how you take 2 things and turn them into crap.
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219
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written by Champ427 , July 20, 2008
Oh good god! Why did I watch this series as a child!

fantastic review! smilies/grin.gif
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written by Socialiste , July 20, 2008
Tochtones??? Lol, great review. Ninja telephone operator...
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2078
Nailed it again.
written by Lyger , July 20, 2008
I thought this movie was stupid when I first saw it... and that was when I was 7!
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written by Dkad , July 20, 2008
"Tochstone pictures" at the end =)

Hey I used to love this movie when I was a kid. Of course I knew it was quite bad but not... the same bad that "the critic" said...
...
Anyway now I want to see it again ! =)

Cake ! lol
I think it meant "piece of cake !" but I'm not sure...
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written by Sancho12 , July 20, 2008
I loved this movie as a kid. Another part of my youth torn to shreds by the Nostalgia Critic.

On a side note, have you considered reviewing a Hulk Hogan film yet?
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written by Dkad , July 20, 2008
And you didn't talk about the "rubber grampa" at the end !
(Juste before he puts jellybeans in the bad guy's mouth, look !)
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2722
Grandpa
written by A National Acrobat , July 20, 2008
Incidentally, Victor Wong, who plays Grandpa and appeared in other films, such as Tremors, The Golden Child, and John Carpenter's Prince of Darkness died shortly after the 9/11 tragedy occurred. I don't mention that to bring everyone down so much as to just remember a man who's made a whole bunch of movies, some better than others.

Also, you should have said they "lived happily ninja after."
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2670
Great Review
written by johnlocke108 , July 20, 2008
The makers of this film don't appear to know anything about ninjas! Silent and deadly, my ass.
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written by Tand , July 20, 2008
Lol that was FREAKIN funny! ^.^
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577
On the note of unorigginality
written by Shining Aquas , July 20, 2008
How come every time Pixar makes a movie, Dreamworks makes one shortly after about the same subject matter. On that note, how come almost all of the Dreamworks movies that follow this pattern suck?

My key example of this was Pixar's absolutely brilliant "Finding Nemo", which was shortly followed by "Shark Tale", which is possibly one of the most ridiculous movies I've ever seen.

And it's true that not all of the Dreamworks stuff has sucked, like "A Bug's Life" being followed up by "Antz", but I think there needs to be a re-hiring of the creative thinking department for the sake of their souls.

I mean seriously, when they broke away from the "copy Pixar" motif, the most creative thing to come out of it was "Kung Fu Panda", and God knows just how sensible that is right?
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written by Dove , July 20, 2008
Cake. smilies/grin.gif
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967
I can't watch it!!!
written by jennawenna214 , July 20, 2008
It's not letting me watch it. Even though it fully loads it will stop after a few seconds I start playing it. WHY?!?!?! smilies/cry.gif
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written by metalhead , July 20, 2008
eat my cake!
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412
Hey!
written by SuperMopTop , July 20, 2008
I was making fun of this movie Mystery Science Theater 3000 style at the boys and girls club at my school a few weeks ago!
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185
Pretty good.
written by Curiosity Inc , July 20, 2008
God, it's been 15 years since I last saw this movie. I was obsessed with this back when I was five or so and I'm glad the NC decided to review it so I would never have to watch it again.

Thank you for reminding me just how horrible and contrived this movie was. I mean, where does a basketball scene fit into a ninja movie?

I think you focused on the "cake" line for way too long, though. Why couldn't you have come to the easy conclusion that they meant "piece of cake?" In fact, I thought there were a few times here where you fell into the usual problem of running with a joke for too long. Still, you did a very comprehensive job of calling the movie out on its bullshit.

I don't think it was your best review, but I'm very glad you did it anyway.
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Great !!!
written by blackmegaman , July 20, 2008
Man this review was soooooo cake. smilies/grin.gif
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written by funnyman , July 20, 2008
im watching that movie on tv right now its sucks ass smilies/grin.gif smilies/cry.gif
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written by Nidoking , July 20, 2008
I think the ninjas appearing everywhere in their ninja garb was meant to be funny, in the vein of "Ninja Nonsense/Ninin ga Shinobuden", a series that takes ninja stereotypes to extremes while taking none of them seriously.
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written by Billz , July 20, 2008
Damn I'm glad I never saw this movie.
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written by HOTsuma91 , July 20, 2008
Ninjas?
More like Nonjas.

It's sad what passes for ninjas these days.
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written by AlbertWikoWonkavitz , July 20, 2008
I think these may be worse ninjas than Naruto...smilies/tongue.gif
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2727
new vid
written by speedrabbit , July 20, 2008
nice vid man...i got a movie you should do....not vary old, hell idk if it even is out on dvd yet..."one Missed Call"...watch it if u can
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1721
OMG
written by hopewithinchaos , July 20, 2008
dude...i watched all four of these. and to be honest...they all sucked some pretty hardcore balls. i watched the first when i was a little kid, but once i heard there was more, when i was a teenager...i watched them back to back to back in a 5 hours suck-a-thon. Never do that
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written by BallsMonkey , July 20, 2008
I'm surprised you didn't rip on that god awful song durring the credits

"KID POWER"! Jesus Christ that song makes me want to staple my balls to my ears.
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written by Lord Seth , July 20, 2008
My question is, how did this movie manage to get 3 sequels?
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written by earthboundwish , July 20, 2008
This movie = WTF O_O
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written by Wardog , July 20, 2008
Yeah...I wonder about that too Lord Seth

I only saw the third one just because it had Hulk Hogan in it. I didn't bother finishing the movie LOL
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written by Wardog , July 20, 2008
Scratch that last part. I saw the FOURTH one smilies/tongue.gif

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1341
I remember this film............ sort of....
written by gozzilynn , July 20, 2008
But I've never seen it. I never knew it was so-o-o bad. I mean, MY GOD! was that terrible. I feel bad that you had to sit through it.

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written by Arhum940 , July 20, 2008
I used to love this movie as a kid, but after this review, and thinking a little bit, I now remember how little sense they made. Its a shame you didn't review 2, 3, and 4 though
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2428
Karate kid knock off too
written by Excalibur , July 20, 2008
To add, I think since it's the same old guy that played the old master in Karate Kid, it's also an added rip off of that movie too, but instead of 1 white kid, you got 3 and instead of karate, you got ninja...whatever hollywood style that is in the movies
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2428
4th movie title
written by Excalibur , July 20, 2008
The last movie should have been titled, "3 Ninjas, Hulk Hogan needs work". Glad they stopped making them
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written by Nirrad , July 20, 2008
Coldguy, the movie you're thinking of is "Surf Ninjas". One of the younger brothers had a Gamegear. Anyways, I really enjoyed this movie as a kid. Watched it in the theaters and eventually bought the movie. I also enjoyed 2 and 3...haha. Haven't seen High Noon at Mega Mountain though, and I won't seeing how these movies would now be terrible after watching them again. So I'm just gonna leave myself with great memories instead of ruining them.+
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79
CAKE
written by deppwaswho , July 20, 2008
cake was the funniest part smilies/cheesy.gif
but i ddnt think this review was that great
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written by Monado , July 20, 2008
I actually remember liking the third one as a kid, before I got kicked in the face when we were copying their moves.
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written by OmegaWarrior , July 20, 2008
They get progressively worse. The 4th one is a christian propaganda film.
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written by AML6349 , July 21, 2008
Loved it, awesome job! I actually had to pause during "Spot the Real Grandpa" and go to the bathroom so I wouldn't piss myself laughing. smilies/shocked.gif
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written by MinnesotaIceman , July 21, 2008
How so, OmegaWarrior?
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written by animerocksautistic , July 21, 2008
Stuntman, stuntman, stuntman, GRANDPA! Good video.
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written by Valhalas , July 21, 2008
I would like to see the one you mentioned at the end, TMNT vs Calcin, that would be epic smilies/grin.gif
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written by ShiksaWithChutzpah , July 21, 2008
The first 3 Ninjas movie makes the last one with The Hulkster (who gets top billing and is in the whole movie a total of maybe 15 minutes) look like Cinema Paradiso.
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written by vZv , July 21, 2008
yeah tohse movies sux smilies/cheesy.gif smilies/grin.gif
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written by DragonTyph , July 21, 2008
Looking back, as a kid, I loved these movies (with no.4, my uncle got me a rental copy at Blockbusters and i go a free Lego toy with it.) Now that i'm older, these movies suck. I guess the gimmick didn't last well with me.
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written by Darkmessiah24 , July 21, 2008
Oh god... I cannot believe I wasted some of my childhood watching this movie. Funny review, btw.
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1591
wow...
written by Garfield135 , July 21, 2008
TMNT = ?
Home Alone = good

3 ninjas = what looks to be a GDSAL of F!
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540
awesome
written by xxxdeathprincessxxx , July 21, 2008
this is awesomeness you are a mastermind smilies/grin.gif
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written by 5secondmoviefan , July 21, 2008
Stuffed cabbages. Classic.
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written by ClumsyJohan , July 21, 2008
When he says "jelllybeans ! my one weakness !" He sounds like Chester A. Bum smilies/grin.gif
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written by CheatWiz , July 21, 2008
The Grandpa looked like Mr. Miyagi's drunk brother.
Lol.
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written by chickenfoot , July 21, 2008
that is a terrible idea! smilies/angry.gif
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written by Shining Aquas , July 21, 2008
It might help if you said what was a terrible idea.
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written by lockex007 , July 21, 2008
That video was hilarious. I liked how touchstone was not spelled correctly at the end. I don't know if that was part of the gag or an actual misprint. Oh well. Good video. Keep em coming.
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written by MTRodaba2468 , July 21, 2008
I remember watching this movie as a kid. I loved it then, but have since realized how bad it really is. Your review was dead on.

The first 3 Ninjas movie makes the last one with The Hulkster (who gets top billing and is in the whole movie a total of maybe 15 minutes) look like Cinema Paradiso.


I'd have to say it's the other way around. As bad as the original is, the last one, with Hulk Hogan, makes the first one look like Cinema Paradiso.
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written by Happy_Nostalgia_Nerd , July 21, 2008
Ha! Another horrid film that the AVGN can't review now. smilies/cheesy.gif

The "Spot the Grandpa" segment was excellent.

Blast those Jellybeans! They are so dangerous!
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704
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written by Kemp , July 21, 2008
Great review, funny as always

You ought to do Spy Kids 3 next...if your sanity can withstand it smilies/cheesy.gif
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1046
Cake.
written by jordanhass , July 21, 2008
I thought for a second NC was going to review The Hulk Hogan 4th movie.
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185
Better on a repeat viewing.
written by Curiosity Inc , July 21, 2008
I appreciated this movie much more the second time around. The added sound effects were great (or did it really make that much noise when you pounded the desk?) and the clip/review juxtaposition was the best it's been in a long time.

But you really have to come up with another way of starting reviews than saying "Y'know." It's really starting to grind at this point.
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written by greybob , July 21, 2008
So, are you going to review Home Alone now? It only seems natural, as you have also subjected yourself to TMNT, and now this.
And when are you gonna take AVGN up on that dare? On his site, the actor/creator of AVGN James Rolfe has a review of Batman and Robin now, but it's not AVGN reviewing it. It's just James Rolfe reviewing it. So I guess it doesn't count.
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2761
I dare you...
written by Malkmusian , July 21, 2008
To do 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain.

If it contains Hulk Hogan, review it in your own words.

Also, I dare you to review "Hulk Rules", the album by Hulk Hogan & the Wrestling Boot Band.

Otherwise, good episode.
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Haha, Lowly rated comment [Show]
643
lmfao
written by Jakobi , July 21, 2008
stuntman...stuntman....GRANDPA!!!! stuntman...stuntman...GRANDPA!!! LMFAO
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written by DarkAsianftw , July 21, 2008
hey how do u contact Nostalgia critic?? can someone tell me?? email? account in this website?
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written by DarkAsianftw , July 21, 2008
btw this new vid rocks lol >smilies/cheesy.gif 5/5 all ur vids rock
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written by watchinguy02 , July 21, 2008
I thought the movie was great. Watched it several times and a lot of funny stuffs. The sequel was great too.
I guess NS wasn't being too serious of the review.
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written by TheDragoMan , July 21, 2008
Great review. I will avoid that piece of shit.
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written by Zetta , July 21, 2008
I think I liked this movie as a kid.

It was kinda dumb, but honestly, everything targeted for kids was kinda dumb to make a quick buck. I think if I looked hard enough into my past, I could find a few movies/objects of nostalgia that are awesome.
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1905
Small Mistake
written by HeartOfSorrow , July 22, 2008
They had gotten different actors to play Rocky, Colt, and Tum-Tum in High Noon at Mega Mountain, Nostalgia Critic. Just wanted to point that out.
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written by DarioPhantom , July 22, 2008
Yo man, this review was CAKE!
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2626
ninja operator
written by DragonTyph , July 22, 2008
you've never seen the ninja burger website then, have you?
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391
Ninja Operator
written by Sockpuppet , July 22, 2008
They obviously hired the telephone operator from the temp service, OfficeNinja.
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written by God , July 22, 2008
Hahahaha! They actually advertised it as a cross between Turtles and Home Alone!!
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written by Lord Seth , July 22, 2008
You should review something good to cheer yourself up after this one, like Batman: The Animated Series.
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Jesus...
written by kashmirxincx , July 22, 2008
You know what sucked more then this.... 3 Ninjas: High noon at mega Mountain. Lets not forget they actually made a good deal of three ninja movies... All sucking it to the max.
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written by Curiosity Inc , July 22, 2008
You should review something good to cheer yourself up after this one, like Batman: The Animated Series.
Next up is the Top 11 Hottest Animated Women. If that doesn't cheer him up, I don't know what will. smilies/wink.gif
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Suggestion
written by weirdaljedifan2 , July 22, 2008
That was hilarious, but here's a suggestion...Troll 2. Mua-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!!
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written by SadMammal , July 23, 2008
To prevent my brain from detonating at seeing the villain react that way to jellybeans, I just pretend he's diabetic.
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written by tbussard , July 24, 2008
There's only one other "family friendly" ninja movie that can top this: "Surf Ninjas". Wasted ninja childhood, away!
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