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For those already familiar with the tournament, just go down a page. Folks, we have our love of movies, that's how we know what's bad, what sucks, and what's worse than hearing your computer reboot itself while you're trying to sleep (Damn 8-year-old hardware). During the last two weeks of September 2008, the suspected Mary-Kay Commandoes at TGWTG.com (Even their UZIs are pink) sent their submissions for what they each thought was the most terrible craptastic shit-flicks of all time. And as we've learned, one man's treasure is another man's trash, as popular movies were submitted as well. "Can't argue with the people" I thought, as I threw them in the fishbowl (I couldn't find a hat on short notice). Basically, what we're doing is throwing pairs of shit-flicks together, and the people vote on which movie is worse than the other. Kinda like betting on cockfights, only with more blood. Call it karma if you like. Each week up until the end of February, I'll be putting up eight matchups between sixteen of the movies submitted, and the people get to pick the winner, to eventually be mounted onto a throne sculpted out of various specimens of fecal matter. It'll be so bad, even flies dare not go near it. =========================================================== Once again, anyone that submitted their movies that doesn't mind their names being mentioned, please send me another email, telling me just that. After a week of voting, we have our winners: You So Crazy.........NOT! Dead Christmas Franchise #23 Generic Wayans Brothers Movie #3469 Box-Office Disaster Movie Bad Boy Bubby Tortures a Cat Poor Rick Moranis Let's Play Japanese Anime Cards!: The Movie "BEST DEATH EVER!" - TGWTG Those ones will clash on January 25. If you'd like to see the current standings, click any of the following links: Part 1___________________ Part 9Part 2___________________ Part 10Part 3___________________ Part 11Part 4___________________ Part 12Part 5___________________ Part 13Part 6___________________ Part 14Part 7___________________ Part 15Part 8___________________ Part 16Round 2, Match set 5-16: Kazaam vs Confessions of a Teenage Drama QueenVOTE HEREKiss Meets the Phantom of the Park vs CatwomanVOTE HERERound 2, Match set 6-16: Meet The Spartans vs Battlefield EarthVOTE HEREVery Bad Things vs Mortal Kombat: AnnihilationVOTE HERERound 2, Match set 7-16: Open Water vs Epic MovieVOTE HEREDaredevil vs Stomp the YardVOTE HERERound 2, Match set 8-16: Street Fighter: The Movie vs America's SweetheartsVOTE HEREMasters of the Universe vs IshtarVOTE HERELet the bloodbath commence! :-D
(Ed note: Let's try this again.) For those already familiar with the tournament, just go down a page. Folks, we have our love of movies, that's how we know what's bad, what sucks, and why our opinions don't matter (Because why else would Nicolas Cage have a career?). During the last two weeks of September 2008, the coked-up kitten-lovers here at TGWTG.com sent their submissions for what they each thought was the most terrible craptastic shit-flicks of all time. And as we've learned, one man's treasure is another man's trash, as popular movies were submitted as well. "Can't argue with the people" I thought, as I threw them in the fishbowl (I couldn't find a hat on short notice). Basically, what we're doing is throwing pairs of shit-flicks together, and the people vote on which movie is worse than the other. Kinda like betting on cockfights, only with more blood. Call it karma if you like. Each week up until the end of February, I'll be putting up eight matchups between sixteen of the movies submitted, and the people get to pick the winner, to eventually be mounted onto a throne sculpted out of various specimens of fecal matter. It'll be so bad, even flies dare not go near it. =========================================================== Once again, anyone that submitted their movies that doesn't mind their names being mentioned, please send me another email, telling me just that. After a week of voting, we have our winners: Korean Dragon Goodness, MewTwo Strikes Back (That's the original title. Serious), Generic Hillary Duff Movie #4271, American Idol: The Movie, The only time you had to PAY to see Breakdancing, Dungeons & Dragons (but without the dice and Cheetos), Aliens with Vaginas, & Date Movie Those ones will clash on January 12. It's over. Round one has concluded, and now things are about to get interesting. Sadly, we've had a few bumps along the way, mostly me making coding errors here and there (Apparently, I didn't notice that Flight Plan last week didn't have a Wikipedia link, or was mentioned at all). I want to thank everyone that has stuck with this experiment up to this point, and to say that even though we're halfway-done, we're still just getting started. If you'd like to see the current standings, click any of the following links: Part 1___________________ Part 9Part 2___________________ Part 10Part 3___________________ Part 11Part 4___________________ Part 12Part 5___________________ Part 13Part 6___________________ Part 14Part 7___________________ Part 15Part 8___________________ Part 16Round 2, Match set 1-16: Jeepers Creepers vs College Road Trip VOTE HERE.Fast & the Furious 2, The vs Home Alone 3 VOTE HERE.Round 2, Match set 2-16: White Chicks vs Grand Canyon VOTE HERE.Disaster Movie vs Next Karate Kid, The (Submitted by Kimmy) VOTE HERE.Round 2, Match set 3-16: Star Wars: The Clone Wars vs Bad Boy Bubby VOTE HERE.My Best Friend Is a Vampire vs Honey We Shrunk Ourselves VOTE HERE.Round 2, Match set 4-16: Garfield: The Movie vs Yu-Gi-Oh!: The Movie (Pyramid of Light) VOTE HERE.Deep Blue Sea (Submitted by Kimmy) vs Reptilicus VOTE HERE.Let the bloodbath commence! :-D
We're nearing the end of the first round of the shit-flick tournament, about to bring the body count to the same number of Nintendo's least-liked console, and what a perfect segueway, since there was a tournament in the works at Reese Kaine HQ that never got off the ground, mostly because it was going to be launched at a place that is dead to me, and that would be ScrewAttack. Keep in mind, I've already said my peace about that place, and I've moved on, so this will not be another rant. What did happen though, was that while I was writing video game blog entries, I was working on the details for a shittiest NES game tournament, but it would have only consisted of games that I've played before the discovery of emulation, which unfortunately made it a somewhat short list: Only 32 games. But 32 was still a proper number to do a tournament on, so I generated a set of random matchups, and started writing reviews to help with the people's voting, as some games were unknown even to retro gamers. Unfortunately, over time, Mr. Rolfe started getting into some of the games on my list, making my honest-look reviews look boring in comparison. Here was a guy that had a camera, his own outlet, and even some special-effects, and I was just a guy that could type. Whooo.
For those already familiar with the tournament, just go down a page. Folks, we have our love of movies, that's how we know what's bad, what sucks, and what's worse than having to put up with a retard playing the same overly-Christ-ey Jesus song over and over until it breaks, ultimately knowing how long before you can actually wear out a CD (Three days). During the last two weeks of September 2008, the more rational-minded folks here at TGWTG.com (But according to some folk, the jury's still out) sent their submissions for what they each thought was the most terrible craptastic shit-flicks of all time. And as we've learned, one man's treasure is another man's trash, as popular movies were submitted as well. "Can't argue with the people" I thought, as I threw them in the fishbowl (I couldn't find a hat on short notice). Basically, what we're doing is throwing pairs of shit-flicks together, and the people vote on which movie is worse than the other. Kinda like betting on cockfights, only with more blood. Call it karma if you like. Each week up until the end of April, I'll be putting up eight matchups between sixteen of the movies submitted, and the people get to pick the winner, to eventually be mounted onto a throne sculpted out of various specimens of fecal matter. It'll be so bad, even flies dare not go near it. =========================================================== Once again, anyone that submitted their movies that doesn't mind their names being mentioned, please send me another email, telling me just that. After a week of voting, we have our winners: Dana Carvey's 1,000 half-ass impressions, Charlie's Angels' Xtreem Catfight, Screwballs, Chris Walken the Evil White Angel, "WHHHAT? WHAY? WHAYREEEE?" (But with psychics), Martian Zombies, Bebe's Shitty Animated Kids, & NOT Troll 2. Those ones will clash on January 12. After a re-vote: Creepshow 3 just BARELY beat Fantastic Four.....2. Oddly enough, by two votes. We've reached the end of the first round of matchups. We've had some laughs, we've had some head-scratchings, we've even had some controversey (Mostly people thinking that this is all just criticism on my part regarding certain movies. Some people just aren't satisfied with the truth). But now, we're about ready to take the shit another ten feet deeper. Starting next week: Round 2. If you'd like to see the current standings, click any of the following links:
Part 1___________________Part 9
Part 2___________________Part 10
Part 3___________________Part 11
Part 4___________________Part 12
Part 5___________________Part 13
Part 6___________________Part 14
Part 7___________________Part 15
Part 8___________________Part 16
Round 1, Match set 15-16: Dragon Wars vs Indiana Jones 4Anger Management vs Pokemon: The First Movie (Mewtwo Strikes Back) vs A Cinderella StoryMama Mia vs From Justin To KellyRound 1, Match set 16-16: You Got Served vs RentSanta Claus Conquers the Martians vs Dungeons & DragonsRomeo + Juliet vs Alien: Resurrection vs Black DahliaLet the bloodbath commence! :-D
For those already familiar with the tournament, just go down a page. Folks, we have our love of movies, that's how we know what's bad, what sucks, and what's worse than a website meltdown while you're away (Sorry, I just got back, and I'm in between reading the cliffnotes). During the last two weeks of September 2008, the fine fucks here at TGWTG.com (Seriously, Spoony's quite the lay, a stallion in bed if you will) sent their submissions for what they each thought was the most terrible craptastic shit-flicks of all time. And as we've learned, one man's treasure is another man's trash, as popular movies were submitted as well. "Can't argue with the people" I thought, as I threw them in the fishbowl (I couldn't find a hat on short notice). Basically, what we're doing is throwing pairs of shit-flicks together, and the people vote on which movie is worse than the other. Kinda like betting on cockfights, only with more blood. Call it karma if you like. Each week up until the end of April, I'll be putting up eight matchups between sixteen of the movies submitted, and the people get to pick the winner, to eventually be mounted onto a throne sculpted out of various specimens of fecal matter. It'll be so bad, even flies dare not go near it. =========================================================== Once again, anyone that submitted their movies that doesn't mind their names being mentioned, please send me another email, telling me just that. After a week of voting, we have our winners: The Omen 4, Spice Girls on a Double-Decker, Log Cabin Fever, Star Trek vs The Bible, American Psycho 2, The Porn Movie, and Jaws 4: The Great-Grand-Nephew of Bruce the Shark Goes to Eat People. Those ones will clash on January 5. Unfortunately, there was one matchup that couldn't be decided due to Tourney Master being a dumb bastard piece of software (Seriously, $250 piece of crap and yet it doesn't know what a TIE is? WTF?!?), so it's held over for this week. Hence there being nine matches this week. If you'd like to see the current standings, click any of the following links:
Part 1___________________Part 9
Part 2___________________Part 10
Part 3___________________Part 11
Part 4___________________Part 12
Part 5___________________Part 13
Part 6___________________Part 14
Part 7___________________Part 15
Part 8___________________Part 16
HELD OVER!! Creepshow 3 vs Fantastic Four 2: Rise of the Silver SurferRound 1, Match set 13-16: The Master of Disguise vs Street TrashHook vs Charlie's Angels 2: Full ThrottleUnderworld vs ScrewballsThe Prophecy vs I Am LegendRound 1, Match set 14-16 Armageddon vs NextOld School vs Ghosts of MarsAustin Powers: International Man of Mystery vs Bebe's Kids54 (Submitted by Kimmy) vs Troll 2Let the bloodbath commence! :-D Just for shits and giggles, I made this goofy piece:  Why does Jane have longer hair and different attire? It's a long story, PM me and I'll tell ya.
For those already familiar with the tournament, just go down a page. Folks, we have our love of movies, that's how we know what's bad, what sucks, and what's worse than finding out the hard way that your lips are chapped while you're taking a bite of an awesome sandwich. During the last two weeks of September 2008, the fine folks here at TGWTG.com (I'm running out of gags) sent their submissions for what they each thought was the most terrible craptastic shit-flicks of all time. And as we've learned, one man's treasure is another man's trash, as popular movies were submitted as well. "Can't argue with the people" I thought, as I threw them in the fishbowl (I couldn't find a hat on short notice). Basically, what we're doing is throwing pairs of shit-flicks together, and the people vote on which movie is worse than the other. Kinda like betting on cockfights, only with more blood. Call it karma if you like. Each week up until the end of April, I'll be putting up eight matchups between sixteen of the movies submitted, and the people get to pick the winner, to eventually be mounted onto a throne sculpted out of various specimens of fecal matter. It'll be so bad, even flies dare not go near it. =========================================================== Once again, anyone that submitted their movies that doesn't mind their names being mentioned, please send me another email, telling me just that. After a week of voting, we have our winners: Freddy Got Fingered, Nothing but Trouble, Texas Chainsaw Massacre: TNG, Man-Thing, First Sunday, Manos: The Hands of Fate, Batman & Robin, & Dr. T and the Women. Those ones will clash on January 5. I'm taking a wild guess that there's going to be a civil war at the end of January regarding which film is truly worse.  I think you can see where this is going. If you'd like to see the current standings, click any of the following links:
Part 1___________________Part 9
Part 2___________________Part 10
Part 3___________________Part 11
Part 4___________________Part 12
Part 5___________________Part 13
Part 6___________________Part 14
Part 7___________________Part 15
Part 8___________________Part 16
Round 1, Match set 11-16: Clueless vs Omen 4: the AwakeningSpice World vs SlipstreamSpanking the Monkey vs Cabin FeverCreepshow 3 vs Fantastic Four 2: Rise of the Silver SurferRound 1, Match set 12-16 Star Trek 5: The Final Frontier vs LinkScooby Doo vs American Psycho 2: All American GirlEyes Wide Shut vs Last of the MohicansEragon vs Jaws 4: The RevengeLet the bloodbath commence! :-D Seriously, how can you make a porn with Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman blow chunks? It just boggles the mind.
For those already familiar with the tournament, just go down a page. Folks, we have our love of movies, that's how we know what's bad, what sucks, and what's worse than realizing you just spent close to $50 on cola and chips (Fuck you, Wal-Mart). During the last two weeks of September 2008, the fine folks who may or may not have a buttsex fetish for a certain Illinois lad (I'll try to come up with a better one, honest) here at TGWTG.com sent their submissions for what they each thought was the most terrible craptastic shit-flicks of all time. And as we've learned, one man's treasure is another man's trash, as popular movies were submitted as well. "Can't argue with the people" I thought, as I threw them in the fishbowl (I couldn't find a hat on short notice). Basically, what we're doing is throwing pairs of shit-flicks together, and the people vote on which movie is worse than the other. Kinda like betting on cockfights, only with more blood. Call it karma if you like. Each week up until the end of April, I'll be putting up eight matchups between sixteen of the movies submitted, and the people get to pick the winner, to eventually be mounted onto a throne sculpted out of various specimens of fecal matter. It'll be so bad, even flies dare not go near it. =========================================================== Once again, anyone that submitted their movies that doesn't mind their names being mentioned, please send me another email, telling me just that. After a week of voting, we have four clear winners: Street Fighter (Big Surprise), America's Sweethearts, Masters of the Universe (GASP!!), & Ishtar (SWEET JESUS!!). Those four will clash on December 29. (Seriously, these were practically 80s wrestling squash matches. Suddenly I don't have faith in my random name rearrangement program thingy. Maybe that'll change later, I dunno.) If you'd like to see the current standings, click any of the following links:
Part 1___________________Part 9
Part 2___________________Part 10
Part 3___________________Part 11
Part 4___________________Part 12
Part 5___________________Part 13
Part 6___________________Part 14
Part 7___________________Part 15
Part 8___________________Part 16
Round 1, Match set 9-16: No Holds Barred vs Freddy Got FingeredNothing but Trouble vs Independence DayTexas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation vs The Pirates of PenzanceFantastic Four vs Man-ThingRound 1, Match set 10-16 First Sunday vs EvolutionManos: The Hands of Fate vs SignsBatman & Robin vs Being HumanDr. T and the Women vs ParamedicsLet the bloodbath commence! :-D I have a feeling you can sense a deerrrrrhhhhhhty joke here: 
For those already familiar with the tournament, just go down a page. Folks, we have our love of movies, that's how we know what's bad, what sucks, and what's worse than being told that there's cake, but you have to be roasted in an oven first (Seriously, there is no cake. The computer bitch is hogging it). During the last two weeks of September 2008, the fine folks who idolize The One Free Man, the opener of the way (I'll try to come up with a better one, honest) here at TGWTG.com sent their submissions for what they each thought was the most terrible craptastic shit-flicks of all time. And as we've learned, one man's treasure is another man's trash, as popular movies were submitted as well. "Can't argue with the people" I thought, as I threw them in the fishbowl (I couldn't find a hat on short notice). Basically, what we're doing is throwing pairs of shit-flicks together, and the people vote on which movie is worse than the other. Kinda like betting on cockfights, only with more blood. Call it karma if you like. Each week up until the end of April, I'll be putting up four matchups between eight of the movies submitted, and the people get to pick the winner, to eventually be mounted onto a throne sculpted out of various specimens of fecal matter. It'll be so bad, even flies dare not go near it. =========================================================== Once again, anyone that submitted their movies that doesn't mind their names being mentioned, please send me another email, telling me just that. Starting NEXT WEEK, there will be EIGHT shit-flick matchups every week instead of four. After a week of voting, we have four clear winners: Open Water, Epic Movie, Daredevil, & Stomp the Yard. Those four will clash on December 29. If you'd like to see the current standings, click any of the following links:
Part 1___________________Part 9
Part 2___________________Part 10
Part 3___________________Part 11
Part 4___________________Part 12
Part 5___________________Part 13
Part 6___________________Part 14
Part 7___________________Part 15
Part 8___________________Part 16
Round 1, Match set 8-16: Street Fighter: The Movie vs Gone Fishin'America's Sweethearts vs The League of Extraordinary GentlemenMasters of the Universe vs Mr. BonesPirates of the Caribbean 3 vs IshtarLet the bloodbath commence! :-D
For those already familiar with the tournament, just go down a page. Folks, we have our love of movies, that's how we know what's bad, what sucks, and what's worse than getting caught playing Boon-Ga Boon-Ga (Seriously, if you're playing that game, you need councelling). During the last two weeks of September 2008, the fine folks who'll bang anyone with a nice pair of glasses.......and not just those that look like Daria (I'll try to come up with a better one, honest) here at TGWTG.com sent their submissions for what they each thought was the most terrible craptastic shit-flicks of all time. And as we've learned, one man's treasure is another man's trash, as popular movies were submitted as well. "Can't argue with the people" I thought, as I threw them in the fishbowl (I couldn't find a hat). Basically, what we're doing is throwing pairs of shit-flicks together, and the people vote on which movie is worse than the other. Kinda like betting on cockfights, only with more blood. Call it karma if you like. Each week up until the end of April, I'll be putting up four matchups between eight of the movies submitted, and the people get to pick the winner, to eventually be mounted onto a throne sculpted out of various specimens of fecal matter. It'll be so bad, even flies dare not go near it. =========================================================== Once again, anyone that submitted their movies that doesn't mind their names being mentioned, please send me another email, telling me just that. Starting in two weeks, there will be EIGHT shit-flick matchups every week instead of four. After a week of voting, we have four clear winners. Meet The Spartans, Battlefield Earth, Very Bad Things, and Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, those four will clash next month on the 29th. If you'd like to see the current standings, click any of the following links:
Part 1___________________Part 9
Part 2___________________Part 10
Part 3___________________Part 11
Part 4___________________Part 12
Part 5___________________Part 13
Part 6___________________Part 14
Part 7___________________Part 15
Part 8___________________Part 16
Round 1, Match set 7-16: Open Water vs Bridge to TerabithiaThe Land before Time 2 vs Epic MovieVan Helsing vs DaredevilStomp the Yard vs Beastmaster 3Let the bloodbath commence! :-D P.S.: I was surprised that Gigli didn't advance to round 2, considering all the major flak it took. P.P.S: I can't stress this enough: Daria......major hottie.
For those already familiar with the tournament, just go down a page. Folks, we have our love of movies, that's how we know what's bad, what sucks, and what stinks up the place worse than a Gobblety-Gooker on Thanksgiving Night (Pray that you never see one............again). During the last two weeks of September, the fine folks who vomit and crap all over contact lenses (I'll try to come up with a better one, honest) here at TGWTG.com sent their submissions for what they each thought was the most terrible craptastic shit-flicks of all time. And as we've learned, one man's treasure is another man's trash, as popular movies were submitted as well. "Can't argue with the people" I thought, as I threw them in the fishbowl (I couldn't find a hat on short notice). Basically, what we're doing is throwing pairs of shit-flicks together, and the people vote on which movie is worse than the other. Kinda like betting on cockfights, only with more blood. Call it karma if you like. Each week up until the end of April, I'll be putting up four matchups between eight of the movies submitted, and the people get to pick the winner, to eventually be mounted onto a throne sculpted out of various specimens of fecal matter. It'll be so bad, even flies dare not go near it. =========================================================== Once again, anyone that submitted their movies that doesn't mind their names being mentioned, please send me another email, telling me just that. Starting in three weeks, there will be EIGHT shit-flick matchups every week instead of four. Which also means that barring last week's matchups, all ofthe winners will instead clash on the 22nd of next month, instead of all the way in late-January. After a week of voting, we have four clear winners. Kazaam, Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen, Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park, and Catwoman, those four will clash next month on the 29th. If you'd like to see the current standings, click any of the following links:
Part 1___________________Part 9
Part 2___________________Part 10
Part 3___________________Part 11
Part 4___________________Part 12
Part 5___________________Part 13
Part 6___________________Part 14
Part 7___________________Part 15
Part 8___________________Part 16
Round 1, Match set 6-16: Meet The Spartans vs GigliSaw 3 vs Battlefield EarthVery Bad Things vs Hamlet 2Mortal Kombat: Annihilation vs Inspector Gadget |
tournament
