Sorry about the fluffy title. Don't worry, there is no deep philosophical explorations of the human psyche here. What populates this entry is just a detailed recollection of the two events that made yesterday one of the oddest days of my life.
But first, some news.
News
- I got a gig writing for my campus newspaper, the New University! Check out my first article here.
- I also have forgotten, several times, to post a link to my most recent article on Game Partisan. Stand agape at its wonder here. Its a brief piece on why/how the Playstation 2 has remained so powerful in the market.
- Had a bit of a scare recently. My laptop had severe slowdown issues, websites taking minutes to load and the entire computer freezing up when having more than one thing open at a time. I cut out some of my internal processes from going in order to free up some CPU power, but it was still slow as hell. I fearfully dropped it off at a computer repair store and left it overnight for the technician, fearing the worst as I didn't sleep and thought of a school year without typing (my hands hurt after writing manually for too long). I get a call the next morning and I'm told that my PC Illin spyware software's newest update was a buggy piece of shit, and the entire application is pretty much useless with my other spyware programs. He uninstalls it for me and I'm on my merry way. Jeesh....worries.
Dichotomy of the Spirit - Paradiso
Here's the good part of the day yesterday. I only have an hour long discussion on Fridays, and with nothing planned to do on campus that day I arrived back at the bus stop near my home rather early. I decided that it had been too long since I last ate a meal at a restaurant (being that a student budget kept my diet to cheap grocery stores and on-campus fast food). That, and it was about 5 pm and I hadn't eaten yet. I had seen the restaurant chain called Spires around many towns I've lived in, and passed it off as another in the Coco's, Carrow's, and Applebee's line of family-friendly, middle-of-the-road prices diners. Today, however, was a day to spoil myself more rotten than I already do, and I got myself a table for one.
The first thing I noticed was the amount of elderly people dining around the restaurant (I had a booth in the middle section of the building and had a decent view of everyone). This is usual for the late Friday afternoons; its the end of the week and early enough for the elders sleep habits to not mess with their digestion, so nothing particularly out of the ordinary. I ordered myself a Coke (more diners need to have Pepsi, damnit!) and an order of Mozzerella Sticks. This is very important, a restaurant can be defined by either the Mozzerella Sticks or their Buffalo Wings. These two food stuffs are both easy to make and difficult to master, so gauging the taste and quality of these dishes can give you a good idea of the care and talent in the kitchen. Since there was no Buffalo Wings on the menu, I went with the Sticks.
At this point I felt I established my presence enough in the restaurant to leave my table empty to use the restroom, without worrying that a waiter will mistake my table as empty (and my laptop bag as lost) and take action. Luckily all was more than well, as I came back to my table with my Mozzerella Sticks already waiting. This wasn't a long trip to the can in any degree, so the speed of the service was definitely noticeable. This may mean the Sticks were previously frozen, but restaurants usually know better than to indicate that by bringing them out during the suspicious period of time, the minute or so it takes to nuke the Sticks, as patrons would be perturbed by the obvious method of cooking.
Another thing to note is that before I used the restroom, a few of the restaurant staff were closing the blinds in anticipation of some costumers sitting beneath the window pane. At first I thought this was a slightly offensive knee-jerk reaction to the age of most costumers walking in, as the thought is that elders don't like the sun and would melt if they sat in it too long. But, regardless of the thoughts behind the action, it was a boon to me, as I am practically vampiric in my distaste for sunlight, and the closed binds gave a nice, warm red filter to the light of the restaurant.
Anyhow, I have returned to a table with a Coke and a plate of Sticks and immediately sample one of them. They are quite good, so I polish off the plate. In the future, however, I probably won't order them again, not for the quality, but for the price. For 5 bucks, despite their being 6 sticks, their size was rather puny. I had ordered the special they had for Fridays, a Top Sirloin platter, with a dinner salad (Caesar dressing of course), mashed potatoes, and a dinner roll expectedly coming with it. Unexpectedly, the meal arrived before I even had time to finish my appetizer. Granted, there wasn't a lot of patrons in the diner, but the speed and courtesy of the service was noticeably superior to anything I've had in a long time.
A brief warning to the veggies and the vegans out their, this next brief passage is an ode to meat. Yes, meat. Glorious, glorious meat. I adore meats, especially those of the red variety. Every bit is a satisfying, hearty explosion of flavor and texture. With so many methods and cuts of meat to cook and sample, life can be said to be a series of meat-related experiences. I like it fried, grilled, charbroiled, roasted, sauteed, breaded, deep-fried, and baked. I am a meat purist, my chili is flavored meat in a sauce, and steak sauce is an insult. The taste of meat reserves a special place in the pleasure center of the brain, an unrivaled beauty to my tastebuds. Meat, oh how I love you.
I started on the steak and potatoes, layering each piece of steak with a bit of mash. It was a damn good steak, and at 9oz. for a bit over 8 bucks, a fantastic deal when all was taken into account. I was already feeling pretty full with the completion of the steak and mash, so I was unable to fully polish off the dinner salad, although I gave it a good run for its money. The dinner roll was the low point of the meal, coming across a bit flaky and hard. But that's a nitpick compared to some of the horrible experiences I've had at dinner time. I was already getting the brick-in-the-gut feeling that comes with being full, so when my waiter came back and asked what was for dessert, I was ready to pass. But he informed me that the Sirloin platter came with a dessert included in the price. To clarify: that's a three course meal: salad, steak with sides, and desert, all of great quality, for 8 bucks. Definitely a surprising high point.
After the scoop of vanilla ice cream I selected for my dessert, I was in a slight food coma, one of the lovely warm sensations that comes with a damn fine meal. With the soda and the Sticks and the tax, the check came out to 16 bucks, so I rounded it out to twenty with the tip. And here's another aspect of my personality that you should know, I don't tip. I'm like Mr. Pink that way. Yes, there are special occasions were I bestow an extra chunk to the check of my own volition, but it is earned, like respect. See the opening scene of Quentin Tarantino's Reservoir Dogs for a full description.
The details of the tip were as follows, multiple refills done, most of the them without me even asking. They saw my glass being emptied and put two and two together. Plus. The speed of which food was delivered, warm and placed on the plate in an attractive manner. Big Plus. And a general pleasant atmosphere and demeanor of all staff. Big Plus. If they could have offered me a small transit bus to help me avoid waddling the mile and a half home, I would have given them my PS2.
Now, you may be asking yourself, why the hell did this stupid little dinner resonate with me so much? Why did one trip to a nondescript diner make so much of an impact? Low answer: I think it's because I have a family history were food and meals were a respected place that connected the family and brought a lot of fond memories. Meals were not only cooked, but made with emotion. Recipes are cherished family items, and remembering helping Mom and both my Grandmothers in the kitchen are some of the fondest I have of my family. Hell, the greatest memory I have of the fucker who gave me his male chromosomes was in the kitchen making Manicotti (I'll make a dish of it sometime and post pictures of it up around here, SINNER style.) So a good, well prepared meal, even if I have to pay for it, is something to be happy about. Short answer: I have no fucking idea.
Dichotomy of the Spirit - Inferno
Here's where the fun really begins. A few weeks ago, out of the blue, my friend John tells me someone was looking for me. We'll call him Craig, because it sounds close enough to his name to appease me as I rant about him, and because it's not his real name, to avoid....whatever. I knew Craig as an acquaintance throughout the first few years of high school, not even registering on my radar enough for me to wave and say hi even time I saw him. One night, he was included in a sleepover that John had, a regular event for me and my high school crew. This one included me, John, Craig, and Bennett, who you all know and love from my constant plugs of him.
During this event we had a conversation of little value that I can remember, and the rest of the night was pretty much a blur, although I remember something happening. Anyway, I had not thought of this guy for years, so I was happy to get back in touch with him. John preempted my first conversation with him with the fact that he recently came out as gay. Okay, I think, this is no big deal. Yeah for him. I send him an email with my contact info, and he responds casually. Nothing to report. Then his second email comes.
John had also prefaced this conversation of ours letting me know that Craig was a bit of a romantic. Telling me this fucker was Shakespeare would not have prepared me for the shit he pulled. From that one night together he supposedly connected with me more deeply than anyone else on the planet, and know viewed me as the ultimate romantic icon of his life, him desperately wanting to be with me. I immediately had no fucking idea what to do. I was a bit freaked out by this sudden sexual disciple I had supposedly acquired effortlessly three years ago.
I go to Ben with this, and he pads it down saying that coming out for him was an overtly emotional experience, probably leading him to dramatize his general feelings. I'm placated, but still a bit wary of conversing with this guy as he asks me to. I befriend him on Yahoo Instant Messenger, and despite his icon saying he's online, he never talks to me. I sigh and think the situation's passed without anything awkward. Here's where the term [dichotomy] comes in.
I had come back from my glorious meal at the Spires restaurant a few hours earlier and was surfing the net as per usual (in addition to watching [Hoodwinked] on my laptop) when he IMs me. I take in a deep breath and begin to chat. It begins relatively normal, in that awkward, ask only very general questions kind of way. Inevitably though, the topic of his emails comes up, and he apologizes for their melodrama. I'm growing more and more comfortable until he brings up the subject of his sexual revelation. I congratulate him for figuring this out and attempt to move on, but he continues to find a way to weasel it into any other subject.
His description of the event was beyond anything I had ever heard before, and I spent almost every Wednesday in high school at the Gay Straight Alliance (GSA.) Supposedly his realization of his sexuality gave him a new lease on life. Ok, a normal reaction. He feels that he can feel more than he ever has. Still normal. Then he ties it in with me. Within this one night of conversation we had back in high school I had supposedly oozed confidence and charisma in who I was, bestowing upon him divine inspiration after he came out, and becoming his role model in living life. We now descend into creepiness.
I push those thoughts aside, talking to him about how I couldn't possibly bestow such feelings in him, he's reaching and reading far too much into a blase event that happened long ago; nostalgia changes memories. But he insists that I am the sole guider in this revelation and new lot in life he has, and he praises all my good qualities that he remembers from 3 years ago or somehow got out of a 3 minute text IM conversation. I boot up a window with Ben (privately of course) and tell him I'm getting freaked out, and I'm going to push him away. He asks me to be gentle, so I simply say tell Craig I am not his emotional messiah and I cannot help him with whatever he wants me for. I click for him to see me as [permanently offline]. He texts back as I exit apologizing and asking me to wait. For some reason I leave his window opening, staring at those words, either reveling in my bad assness or something else. Then I make the mistake of letting my soft side take hold and I return to the conversation.
Craig then begins to talk about how he can repay me for the help I have given him (?). I continue to push him away, getting a bit more forceful now. Any hopes he had of remaining friends to any degree are dead now. He continues to press on, and I go back to Ben's window and apologize to him, because I'm getting rid of Craig in the bluntest, harshest way I can now. Unfortunately, I fail for the first time in my life at doing so. I begin to become caustic in my responses, saying that he's letting an emotional high cloud his judgments. Then, he lets me know that he, in his Satanist beliefs, has no faith in divine powers or spiritual revelations, but he has faith in people. He has faith in me.
I am fully freaked now and I outright blast this guy with everything I have. I tell him he's absolutely following some stupid emotional feeling that isn't even close to what he thinks it is. Then he shifts from being the worshiper to the friend, the guy that went through AA and is looking at his buddy still trapped by the confines of alcohol. He says, very simply, that I have a lot to learn. The condescending tone reeks from those words.
Sorry to keep bringing this up, but one last thing about me: never claim superiority over me that you can't back up. You beat me in a test or a class or anything, you have my respect. I respect doctors and lawyers and anyone that spent 20 years in college when I can't wait to get out of my 4. You beat me in an argument, I will always concede it. But never claim, when you are less than a year older than me, that you, from a superior and lofty position above me, know me sufficiently to gauge my understanding of the world and prescribe my level of knowledge of it as inferior to yours, especially in the smug, content tone that most religious people have when I pass by.
I lose my cool worse than Gary Busey lost his mind, I start fucking ranting at him in the worst way I can think of. In the middle of it he claims he's wasting my time and he logs off. In my fury I type a final note to him that will appear at his next log in, and I take a shower to calm down. There are many reasons that I was pissed at that point: his supposed [Satanist] people of having faith in people is what I often prescribe to, although still within the boundaries of believing in spiritual forces; he got under my skin, which I haven't let anyone in years; and many many other complex weird shit that went through my head.
I draw this up against my experiences earlier that day, under the moniker of the Dichotomy of the Spirit, because these two events, when paired in one day, really represented two completely different levels of emotion and feeling, two plateaus of my mentality. The Long Conclusion: these two events brought me to the extent of my humanity, points of happiness and general contentment and of extreme mental discomfort and irritated-ness. It is between these two points that I, in all my personality, exist, the extent of who I am as a person. The Short Conclusion, the one I actually believe: I have no fucking idea, these are just two anecdotes I can tell when I'm bored.
Plugs
- As always, check out my best friend for-longer-than-forever, Bennett the Sage at his new contributing position at thatguywiththeglasses.com or alongside myself on Gamepartisan
A few days ago, I posted a list of 5 tricks that the gaming industry likes to pull that really pissed me off, and it went off really well. It turns out I'm not the only one who's sick and tired of quicktime events, needless hype, and poor learning curves. There was some argument about needless gimmicks, but hey, if we all agreed on everything we'd be a bunch of mindless zombies, and as cool as that would be, I find human flesh to be rather foul tasting. My point is, we all like pointing fingers at the game makers, and apparently there's some stuff I missed that people feel need to be added to that list. Well, maybe I'll do that after all the October Hall of Fame columns.
But, as much as we like to wail on game designers for their shittiness, the reality is that we gamers aren't a sinless bunch either. There are several things that many gamers like to do that are (at best) rude, (worse) delve into outright faggotry, and (at worst) make me question the existence of a kind and loving God because he hasn't given me the ability to reach through the internet and rip out the heart of the douchebag on the other end. After gathering testimonies and spending a little bit of time on Xbox Live (Don't look at me like that. You know it as well as I do) and other online game services, I've gathered enough information not only to write this column but also to consider swearing off online gaming (and possibly humanity) for good. Here's the ones that piss us off the most.
I am exhausted, pissed off, and sufficiently sunburned on both my forearms and neck, which can only mean that principal photography with FPS Productions has started. I took yesterday off to recover and attempt to not use my arms (much more difficult than it sounds), but I am back and ready to vent for your amusement.
Principal Photography: Day One
We made the paper with our production, not surprising, as we were able to shut down a couple of city blocks near the local court house to shoot on. Unfortunately, like many press outlets, they constantly mention us as a student organization first and foremost, despite my specific interview to the contrary. Its difficult to promote a student film, much less so than it would be to plug an independent film. We are also a registered film company, but at this point I am just splitting hairs, as I am unsure of my level of commitment to my organization once I transfer to Irvine this fall. I did get specific mention, a sentence, in the article, so that's pretty cool...
To give you the skinny, our film is tentatively called Slick, (we give shooting titles based on names we can find without too many results coming up on imdb.com), and revolves a group of 5 thugs turned against each other after their leader is poisoned on the post-heist toast. The shoot for today involved the scenes with the thug leader, Locke, in discussion with a police lieutenant [morning] and the actual heist of the money [afternoon] were a group of police officials are ambushed by our thugs and shot down. We had five cameras for this shoot, each manned with an operator and assitant, along with a dolly and crane for the really fun shots. Our final crew count, based on what I could see, was about 35, with a dozen or so cast.
The shoot begun, as all future days will, at 7am, which meant I would have to spend the night at my friend Tom's, the film's special effects supervisor and credited writer, house in order to ride with him directly to the set the next morning. I am most definitely not a morning person, but setting off early meant we would be done by the evening, and I am only one of few people that cannot function well in the early hours. My first duty of the day was talking to the police, thankfully it's always sobering enough to help me wake up, and put out a general announcement to the main departmental office about our shoot and the specific logistics therein. This film was specially important do to the level of what we are doing. Despite the noticeable decline in bloodwork and stunt work, cordoning off downtown Main streets with extras in SWAT gear and faux weaponry would have to be explained carefully to avoid cops showing up and disbanding the shoot.
We began filming at a local park near our director's house, specifically around the benched area. We only needed to cast members on set, so thankfully that reduced our crew numbers to a manageable dozen. Our new makeup artist, a role formerly filled by Tom, was a sweet girl that really had knew her stuff, which made the routine go faster. It was a surreal experience, running around to get everything settled and seeing her perform the same things I had before only in DVD featurettes. Made me believe a bit more in the professionalism of our exploits. The scene(s) were short, inter spliced bits that we filled straight through, never exceeding six takes. We never have a grand assortment of takes, mostly due to our director's visual style, but with the digitally animated storyboards we were able to frame the shot long beforehand, the only reason we were doing multiple takes at all were for logistics (sound interrupted by passersby, dolly/crane goes to fast) and performance of our actors. Our casting decisions were pretty solid, if yesterday was any indication, the majority of direction I gave our actors focused on very minute line changes.
The morning park shoot lasted from 7am to around 11, and I went back home with Tom briefly in order to get his supplies for the afternoon Downtown shoot. We attempted a few stops at some hardware stores, in order to pick up some bullet decals for the cars to be used, but none had them in stock, and we carted ourselves to the set. The rest of the staff and cast had already settled into our next location, and a tent was set up for our extras to get armored with SWAT costumes and guns while we waited on lunch to arrive. BT (the director) sent me off to secure the barricades around the set and make sure all were prepared to go once lunch was finished. One of our leads; Michele Boyd, who we had worked previously with on our film Incrimination, was running a bit late, so we prepped the set with the needed cars and stuntwork while we waited.
Once Michele arrived, we began following along with the storyboard and got the preliminary shots in the scene, so we can focus on the more action-oriented shots with the most of our time. Despite these scenes looking fast paced and entertaining when edited, but in actual filming the process is terribly tedious. The rest of the day really blurs into general duties of keeping track of the storyboard, getting the needed crew/cast on set for their shots, and keeping quiet on set. I noticed that our barricades, a few flimsy cones and a few cars parked in the middle of the street, weren't keeping out enough people. I sent Rich, our security guy, to get the jist, and it turns out that a personnel from the City complained at our barricades, claiming that people cannot reach their businesses, despite our permit covering every single action we took. Kate, our production manager, kept on the phone for the rest of the shoot in order to placate any of these complaints, none of which reached our ears.
I was reminded on why I signed up for this tedium and suffering when our director suddenly collapsed behind one of our cars, clinging to his leg. He suffered a severe cramp up from a mixture of lack of food and intense stress. I blockaded the area from public view and helped his parents, who were attempted to massage out the offending muscle. It was this level of stress that I saw in my director, even before we began this project, that kept me involved past my comfort point. I founded this damn thing with the dude, and ever since then he has nearly killed himself in attempts to constantly outdo our previous efforts. Its been my job to slap him across the face every so often and sit his ass down before he has an stroke. Luckily, the cramp subsided quickly without a lot of our crew seeing, and after sitting him down for a few minutes, I called for shots to be resumed.
About this time the local paper arrived and began milling around our set taking photos and soundbites. Both BT and I took brief interviews and sent the reporter off to meet his deadline. The shoot wrapped with little woes, the martini shot (last shot of the day) was finished and we took a final crew photo to commemorate the occasion, although I probably fucked it up because I thought it was a funny photo. Our dolly was run over by a crew member on accident, so that's a bit of a backstep, but otherwise we appear to be in great shape for the continued schedule. We packed up our equipment and sent the rest of the crew home. During this clean up I noticed one of our crew preaching to another member of the crew, about the inclusion of Creationism in science class. I immediately leaped in and attempted to correct this situation, but arguing with these people is like arguing with a brick wall. I'll write more in depth on that later.
Tom dropped me off shortly after the debate debocle, and I was made fully aware of the extent of sunburn by my roommates' comments. Usually, my high-oil skin has never required sunscreen, as at most it'll sunburn only slightly and tan over by nightfall. This time, however, it appears I shall be red for a bit, and I dunno if I'll peel or not. Shooting will resume on Friday, and continue all through that weekend. Thankfully its mostly interior, which means a bit of heat but not a lot of sun so that'll work in my favor.
Just got off the phone with the second AD, my assistant. This'll be the first time I have an assistant on the set, but it should be very helpful to delegate some duties to her if I'm needed elsewhere. Its a weird feeling though, kinda like I'm copping out after doing all my own shit all the time for the past films. But since we have helicopters in addition to a SWAT team and gunplay, I'm not sweating it.
Random Thoughts
If Ann Coulter gets laid at least once every week, I'm such we can see a measured increase in liberal-ness over the course of the next few months
It is still illegal for the government to fund any educational projects that focus on homosexuality in a positive light....no joke here, that just sucks.
Pissing people off is one of the smartest things anyone with a published image can do. Offending, annoying, irritating, and making people mad gets them bitching around the public forums about you, which gets your name out in a greater range. No such thing as bad publicity, right?
Plugs
- As always, check out my best friend for-longer-than-forever, Bennett the Sage's, pad here on TWTG, or be checking out his funny stuff on Youtube or alongside myself on Gamepartisan
- Both Gumba and Quicksilverscreen are wonderful sites to wade through and find videos on all subjects, from documentaries to Family Guy episodes.
You know that empty feeling, way down in the deepest pit of your being? The place you never want to go to, because you know that as a being possessing only the knowledge of the here and now, that you will have no answers for the questions that reside there? Have no fear, because I'm back with an updated blog! Feel free to return to this page constantly to re-read this post for cryptic messages that may or may not be in here....somewhere. I got a lot of user movies up today and yesterday, 15 total, and all are posted on this blog. I'll end it with them, so you don't have to deal with 'em if you just want to read about my fabulous exploits. GT's uploading service is a finicky old cunt, so I'm stopping for today and I'll finish the uploading tomorrow. Its all about the Discovery Channel documentary, Rise of the Video Game, from 2007. The data file was big, so each episode was broken into 5 parts. You can imagine what a bitch it was to get uploaded. But, this is the site were people come to learn about video games, so I though the documentary was a wonderful use of space, even if its a bit slanted on opinion. Enjoy and please comment/rate when you watch it.
Auditions
The quasi-hectic and rather time consuming initiative of auditioning and casting for the last short film I'll do with FPS Riverside was over a few days ago. I fought long and hard for the people I liked, and the title of Casting Director kinda lead things to fall in line in that regard. Rarely am I this satisfied with the cast select. I wasn't expecting perfection, then again if you go into the audition process expecting to get all of your wishes fulfilled, then you are a few people short of a crew. Or Michael Bay, although I'm pretty sure he doesn't care so much as auditioning for talent as he does auditioning for people with heads that won't get in the way of the pretty boom-booms.
A few tips for anyone going into an audition, or indeed any situation were you need to impress someone:
1) Ambition is good, arrogance is not. Don't spout off your resume with a look of supreme contentment, that will only make your perspective boss skeptical/irritated. However, speak truthfully about your goals and wishes, however high they may be, and it'll definitely shine. Ambitious people try different and new things, and that's often what people are looking for.
2) Speak clearly, slowly, and properly. If I can't hear you, I'm bloody hell not going to deal with that on set. Its kind of hypocritical for me to say so, being that I mumble and rush through my conversations, but I've pretty much gotten out of the front of the camera now, and neither of my perspective careers require a gigantic amount of enunciation. But yours will, especially in this situation. If you take too long, you might be cut short, but the effort you put into it will be noted, and that's never a bad thing.
3) Use the space. This is mostly for auditioning, however I'm pretty sure running amok in an office job interview will set you apart in the interviewer's mind. When reading for a part, don't be afraid to move around and mess with what you have on stage. If you drop your script and flub a line, fine. We are not on set here, the effort you put into your performance does not necessarily have to filter through to exact line memorization. If you go over the top, some might tell you, some won't. But doing so regardless of melodrama is always in your favor.
I mention these because a lot of people seemed to have no idea about them. Granted we had some new actors come in, and some people just walking by tried it out for fun. But we had a good portion of people straight from LA, through casting companies even. Which is odd, as I thought casting companies weeded people out for this stuff.....oh well.
Despite hating the new script and not looking forward to being on set, I always like the final selection process of auditioning. It's a feeling of power, to be sure, holding a person's resume and work in your hands and flinging them into hell with pronounced hatred is always ego-stroking. But finding the right cast is like the world's most intelligent puzzle. I feel like I'm working with L and the Japanese police, instead of finding a murderer, I find the one person in our book that can make the role sing. You have to keep their audition in mind, along with sometimes hundreds of others (we had about an even 200 this film) and compare them against every single person that came in. Thankfully we, like many companies, use either film or digital cameras to take photos or videos of each audition to help us out. I also write little notes with each person, sometimes a more detailed analysis. Plus, it helps to see them squirm when you are writing while they audition. Not just for the sadistic pleasure, you also get to see how they work under pressure. You're not just picking a person up and thinking about them for one role, but for any role possible in the script. I usually have three piles: consideration (to pick the final cast from), keep in books (to file and call back for future projects [we have a cabinet of about 600 people now]), and burn (people that just can't act, and we will have no use for.) Brutal, but ultimately its what the film needs. We don't want to be nice to people and have a crappy film because we cast people that tried. This ain't middle school soccer kiddies, your feelings will get hurt. But its a tough business, and I don't mind being the bad guy. Because others will be, and some will be worse than I am.
So yeah, ok, rant over. The film is cast more than sufficiently, and one of my primary credits has been performed. Now I have to sit back and wait for the real crap to start.
Oh, and as much as I want to, I'm not going to talk about many individual auditions due to confidentiality and an oath to the company. Lousy values.
Postal: the Movie
Despite my knowledge of the pirated waters of the internet, this bastard's harder to find than John Travolta's sex life with girls. Sure, there are a lot of DVD rips of the film, but all of them are in a foreign language: German, Russian, Spanish and the like. Which is odd considering that the film was produced in English. I wound up with an English copy (YAY!) dubbed over with the director's commentary (boo!), so I was able to get a good feeling for the film in general, if not getting the full experience.
Now, why the hell would I want to see a Uwe Boll movie? Two reasons, the first being that I am such a huge bloody fan of the game series the film is based on. The violent-as-you-want-to-be franchise is the epitome of a steam-blowing-off game, and its always fun to pop in after a hard day. Second off, as much as Boll's movies never go beyond a grade C in quality, the guy stands for what I believe in, doing what you love even if the world's against you, and constantly pushing the envelope. So when I saw the asshole picking up the Postal license, and seeing the infamous opening clip parodying 9/11, I had to pick this fucker up.
Yesterday was a very mixed day for me. One the one hand, I spent the entirety of the day at a production meeting for my last short film with my film company, FPS Productions. It finished a short casting call, which gave the usual mix of good and bad actors for us, myself especially as Casting Director, to look for people we could use. One the other hand, I had the joyous experience of seeing what set the forums alight both yesterday and today, the newest screenshots released for Quantic Dream's game-in-development: Heavy Rain. They look beautiful, to be sure, but its the amount of detail (eye veins mapped in real time, for instance) that has set keyboards ablaze with gigantic font and expletives of amazement. I had another "I told you so" moment, as my arrogant ass is prone to do, as my anticipation for this game ever since seeing the technology demo the team showed at E3 2006 was valided (if not heightened) by these images. Actual gameplay will hopefully prove the authenticity of these shots as being in game, but if its only half the quality of QD's previous resume [Indigo Prophecy, Omikron: the Nomad Soul], then Q1 2009 can't come around soon enough. Let's just hope Sony comes to their senses and pushes this as a system seller, which it could very well be, giving it the marketing push it so richly deserves.
For all of those that haven't seen them, here is the quickly-becoming-infamous screenshots:
Auditions: The Shitfest Begins
1pm - 12am
I missed the previous script meeting this Monday, so I walk in yesterday to our production meeting completely unprepared for the absolutely horrible direction the script for our latest film has taken. I wasn't expecting much of my script to factor into the final shooting version, as it was too long for our proposed running time, but only a single line from it was added to the entirely new script that was written before I got there, and the line itself was cut and put to a different character. What was supposedly my drawing point for this film, my characters, two of them specifically, were both changed to a direction almost completely opposite mine, making me question why I bothered to waste a day writing my version in the first fucking place. The entire script was taken in a new direction, our plot revised to a bastardized version that the original idea curator wanted but had no ability to properly write out. The lines are none nonsensical and choppy, and the plot is ham-handed at best. I would have preferred we go over our time limit than shoot this crap. I sat through a read of this shlock and tried my best to add a bit of flavor to the now brain-dead characters but I was shot down at nearly every offering, until I simply gave up. It was a terribly disappointing experience, and I'm still in a bit of a funk about it.
After I grit my teeth until my gums bled, we were able to break for dinner and I saw the Heavy Rain screenshots as I mentioned before. I returned to some pizza and Pepsi before we migrated to a larger conference room for the three hours of auditions. It started off slow with some mediocre performances that we quickly wrote off. I can't talk much about it for confidentiality reasons, but I can say that at the end of the night we came away with about 10 people we could actually use. Its hard for such a short film, to cast this many actors, especially our largest female role, Elliot, due to all of the good auditions following in for a single role in a 15 minute movie. We had one audition-ee who was partially deaf, and it was excruciatingly difficult to hear him stumble through the lines and not stopping him because there was no way we could actually use him for the shoot. We also hurt was the constant stream of women flowing in with the traditional technique of deep-cut tops and table leaning. It was moments like this that made me remember why I'm not gay.
The salt in the wound of yesterday was that, because of an odd re-writing schedule, the script now had absolutely no semblance to the sides the audition-ees were reading. It was my writing as well, so it pained me to hear something I knew was better than the script only being used at the beginning of the production. My only hope is that our casted actors don't turn away when they find out that what they read is nowhere in the script at all (it's happened before.) The auditions went up until 11pm or so, and we spent half an hour playing the elimination game with the day's catch, keeping about 20% of everyone who came in and adding it to our consideration file along with our previous audition day's catch, to be finally decided after our last audition this Saturday. I was driven home and arrived at about 12am, still really sore about losing the entirety of my script to something noticeably less eloquent and useful. Perhaps I'll post it up on GT if anyone wants to see it. I'm going to call my director tonight and ask him to take my name off the writing credits, as I really want nothing to do with the script at this point. I'm sticking around as both Casting and Assistant Director sheerly for my love of my director, and possibly furthering my filmwork resume.
Random Thoughts
- I believe being heterosexuality is a choice, and its not something we're born with
- The proper soundtrack can make anything badass. For example: I had my MP3 player on the bus, and there was a mother descretely breast feeding her child a few seats down. My MP3 player started playing Rob Zombie's Dragula, and the act suddenly became pretty intense.....weird....
- Those who can't, teach. Those who can't imagine, have social lives
- If I could have one thing for games suddenly become available to me in real life, it would be the ability to save
- Nostalgia makes fools out of all of us. It changes memories and feelings. Its makes what was horrible suddenly the best thing ever...until you revisit it. For example, Nickelodeon's show Cat Dog...not that funny anymore
- Can a hermaphrodite ever be a drag king/queen?
News
- Laptop still doesn't like playing games, freezes up after 15-30 of use, not indicative of game performance, as it does it for ANY game on CD. Anyone know what I can do at this point?
Plugs
- As always, check out my best friend for-longer-than-forever, Bennett the Sage's, pad here on TWTG, or be checking out his funny stuff on Youtube or alongside myself on Gamepartisan
- Hughsnews is a video blog of an Aussie dude named Hugh and all that he cares about. You can find his funny shite here. A lot of it may be hit and miss, but you can find his best stuff here,here, here, and here.
- I love College Humor. Here's a short animated bit they did on how Bowser makes it so damn easy for Mario by cockblocking his minions.
OK, most important thing to get out of the way before I start the ranting. Alien Vs Predator is actually one of two franchises based on the concept of pitting 20th Century Fox's most famous intergalactic killing machines against each other. The other, is called Aliens Vs Predator. Now it may strike you as odd, but that ‘s' at the end of Aliens that is apparent and missing in each franchise is a huge symbol of commercial greed, fan disappointment and a long running and loved series tarnished.
Let me give you the basic difference between the series. Aliens vs. Predator was a series of comic books, novels and games that was believed to have originated from a prop in Predator 2, an alien skull that hung on the Predator's trophy case. The series began as a comic series simply titled: ‘Aliens Vs Predator'. The story involved a farming colony on the isolated planet of Ryushi, a planet which unfortunately is a traditional hunting ground for the alien race known as the Yaujta, the Predators, to hunt Xenomorphs, or aliens. The comic book series was popular, and from it spawned a novel adaptation, a wide range of action figures, seven sequel comics, and new cross-over comics, some of which pitted the Aliens, Predators or both against popular superheroes like Superman, Batman, Green Lantern and Judge Dread, others against other franchises such as The Terminator.
One of the many disaster movies of the '70s, 'Two Minute Warning' rightfully gets forgotten along the dozen upon dozens of bad disaster movies made in the era. The plot is simple enough to follow, a mad gunman guns down anybody who's anybody at a major football game that happens to be at the LA coliseum, while SWAT and Charlton Heston try to deal with the situation. Interesting plot, but is really flat. I mean theres nothing worth mentioning here, except for the really bad moments. There's absolutely nothing to the characters in this one, the characters are the same recycled cliche that populated 70's movies. You got the elderly crook, the obsessed gambler, the wife and husband that are having hard times, flat performances infect almost the entire movie and none are really noteworthy, let alone memorable. Charlton Heston who was by this part of the 70s was really being overused in these kinds of films. The character he plays is an exact copy of other characters he's played in the other disaster films he's been in. His character in this film acts like he's macho-wacho and knows what he is doing even though I didn't pick up on any competent act performed by the character. It's not your fault Charlie, its just bad writing. The only actors that really stand out in the movie are Beau Bridges and John Cassavetes, who oddly for supporting characters possess the most intelligence. Bridge's character is the first character to notice the sniper and keeps telling his wife in the movie what he keeps seeing who keeps dismissing him as seeing things. Cassavete's character is the SWAT team commander who actually steals the show from Heston and is actually responsible for my only favorite scene in this film, when Cassavete's character talks to Heston's character about how the now dead sniper will glorified by friends, relatives, and the media as someone was nice and kind hearted who didn't deserve to die.
The film takes roughly an hour and a half to take off, and even after the then it doesn't really take off. During the first hour and a half nothing really happens, various POV shots follow the sniper from his apartment to the coliseum, a wannabe suspensful moment and a tired 70's cliche to boot. When we first see the unamed/faceless sniper, we the viewer are witness to him randomly taking out an eldery bicyclist who happpens to be riding with his wife (ala very Zodiac Killer-ish). On any other day this wouldn't even bother me except in this case, they show the guy going down and show A WHOLE LOT OF BLOOD on him. Right there its obvious that the film is gonna do two things:
It's gonna glorify random acts of violence.
It will show a helluva alot blood in the process.
Once the still faceless gunman gets into position a TV crew sees the sniper and brings Charlie and co. in, and then basically everything else that follows falls like a line of dominos. A stupid maintenance man foolishly (Note the emphasis on foolishly) tries to deal with the psychopath, Heston silences any chance of ending the crisis peacefully, dumb asses keep spooking the sniper, and the SWAT guys getting themselves into position. After all these shannagans the sniper knows people are on to him. Shortly after the gambler character plays make up with his current flame all hell breaks loose. The sniper easily takes out most of the SWAT guys like its nothing (even though the SWAT guys are supposed to be better than this untrained, amateur sniper), a bunch of the older actors characters bite the dust, blood starting showing (in that bright 1970's saturated style), chaos erupts and the sniper starts picking off people as they flee the coliseum. The fleeing scenes are well done, but drag on for way too long, and are essentially the same scene repeated on a loop. We get it, chaos is gonna go down, but please don't shove this down our throats and drag it on for five plus minutes. The police finally gain some common sense and raid the tower where he's at (Heston wears his sunglasses inside for the entire scene) and bring him out, barely alive and dies almost immediately thereafter, without even giving his motive. This is the only time I give whoever made this piece of crap some balls, and it is especially eerily after all these new shootings that have happened in recent memory.
Anime has a lot of negatives within its many genres, subgenres and traditions and some of these are generally not even a fault of its own.
Take for example, dubtitiling. This is when an anime distributor gets lazy and releases a DVD with English and Japanese audio, but only releases subtitles for the English sound track. This means you have to watch the Japanese dub with the subtitles for the English dub, which means there's sections with dialogue and no subtitles, subtitles with no dialogue, American slang that looks out of place and in some series gratuitous swearing that wasn't present in the original. All these combined render the Japanese dub unwatchable for regular watchers of anime, and ultimately ruin the purchase if they didn't like the English dub. Manga entertainment released the entire second season of Naruto with dubtitles, and thus I missed a good chunk of the story.
Oh, how I love watching the Nostalgia Critic. Gawking at how truly atrocious those movies that I loved as a kid were. Indeed the man touches on a significant part of our childhoods, as mom or dad would usually pop a tape into the VCR and go off to do something else, proving that they do indeed have the parenting skills of a dirty condom. By that, I mean none. Well, actually, I do have to give credit to a dirty condom, since it provides shelter to millions of abandoned sperm cells, who would have had to settle for toilet water instead if the old man didn't decide to spend fifty bucks on the hooker he met outside the hotel. So, in retrospect, I'll recall that statement. Our parents had the parenting skills of a brand new condom, still in the package, waiting to be bought from the local pharmacy or perhaps a vending machine found in the restroom of a seedy, off-the-road gas station. Your pick.
But this new blog I am creating today is not about "Cop and a Half", "Dunston Checks In", "The Rugrats Movie" or whatever shit you dug as a kid. This one is about the insignificant stuff you'd obsess on as a kid, only to view similar situations as an adult, then laugh at how much of an imbecile you were back then. Crap that would piss you off just because you weren't "old enough". Things you didn't understand, pretty much because you were in fact not old enough. Or stuff that would take over your life for reasons that made little sense to you, let alone anyone else. The random things that we often forgot about our childhoods, and how we as wiser and more mature beings see them today. To truly understand it, you must think like an eight-year-old and an eighty-year-old all at the same time. Is your brain hurting? Good, because we're starting at a place that always made my brain hurt: The Sharper Image.
Just a short blurb I did after watching too many of the "support the starving gay whales of South New Jersery" spots in between my humorous animated adult television shows. Sorry to all non-gamers out there that may not get the severity, or jist, of this condition.
- Nice to see That Guy With Glasses' site up and going so well, from what my editor tells me its no easy task getting a website up, especially once it becomes exceedingly popular. Kudos! Or whatever is applicable to say in these situations...
am currently doing a touring show called "No Way To Treat a Lady", which stresses the importance of abstinence, pregnancy, diseases, self control, and the consequences that can happen if you have sex. Yea, I'm there are some who are reading this who are already rolling their eyes because they have heard this time and time again. But honestly, it is an important message and I think everyone should take it to heart. Here are a few points I would like to put out for everyone to read.
1. A person should not just assume they are ready to have sex, they should KNOW. Think of ALL the consequences that could come from having sex. The obvious being pregnancy or disease. Then there are some of the less talked about. Like what might happen to one's reputation. Also, there is the chance that a person could mess up a great relationship and it becomes about nothing but sex and then it dies. There is also an emotional side to it. Having sex is a big step and for some people it is really special. Don't just take someone's virginity without thinking about it. This person may be saving it for someone they really love, and could have their heart broken by some thoughtless jerk. Also, think about parents and how they will reacting when they find out their child is having sex. Chances are, not well. Anyone who wants to have sex should take a time out and think of every possible consequence and how they are going to deal with them. If they find a consequence they can not deal with, then perhaps they are not ready for sex. I recently asked Jen what we would do if she should become pregnant. We both agreed on giving up the baby for adoption, and I am currently doing research on where we could give the baby and how much it would cost to have that baby. I'm going to save up my own money, and if she gets pregnant, then I will take care of it and deal with the consequences. But don't think this means Jen and I are READY to have sex. We are far from it actually. It's just nice to know we are thinking in advance.
2. Condoms and pills are not 100% safe! A cheap piece of latex is not a guarantee of protection from pregnancy or a disease. Imagine how horrible a person must feel when they end up being one of the unlucky ones the condom or pill did not work for. Again, people need to think things out and be prepared for these consequences. It's a shame that some of our schools pass out condoms to kids, who think it is a guaranteed safe way to have sex. I believe condoms should not be passed out at school, because it gives the message to kids that it's okay. Part of having sex is accepting responsibility, this includes the responsibility of going out and buying a condom. That is one of the first steps. I once had a friend who had sex with his girlfriend and the condom broke on them. I got a call and I had to drive all over with him trying to find a way to stop his girlfriend from being pregnant. We eventually learned of "the day after pill" and were able to prevent what could have been a horrible incident. But all of this could have been avoided if they did not have sex. They were not ready in my opinion and I had to help them. That is a situation I hope nobody has to be in.
3. Guys, treat women like they deserve to be treated. She is not someone to sleep with, she is a person! A gentleman should like her for who she is, not what she looks like! He should get to know her before he decides he wants to try anything with her. A good friendship is vital to a good relationship. It can not just be all physical attraction. Imagine if a guy just looked at a girl and decided to take her out on a date, only to realize she is not his type and then you dumps her. It seems easy enough for the guy, but maybe it's a lot harder for her to deal with that rejection. She thought someone liked her, and then she was simply tossed aside. This could have really damaged her self esteem, which is NEVER a good thing. Women are people and deserve to be treated right. This rule goes the same to women. A woman should treat a man with respect as well. I know people who get with people just based off looks. They don't take the time to get to know them and they instantly just like them because they are cute. These relationships rarely ever work out, and these people get a bad reputation because of it. My cousin once pointed a statistic out to me, that may be over exagerated, but I believe there is some truth to it. "For every girl you treat bad, she tells 20 of her friends"
4. Guys, I know sex is a mighty temptation, but we have to fight the urges we feel. I'm going to quote a monologue I have from no way to treat a lady. "Even though guys are more prone to out of control hormones than girls, guys need to learn to control the behavior the flows from those urges." Just remember that a REAL man knows how to control himself, and that's what separates him from just being a guy. SELF CONTROL. For the ladies who also have wild hormones, this same rule applies. Everyone needs to learn how to control themselves. Some will say "I can control myself, but it's just boring". That's just like the alcoholic who says he doesn't have a drinking problem as he finishes a 6 pack. There is a difference between a person who says they are under control and a person who really is under control. I have felt the temptation to give into my urges many times. I know that giving in would mess up my life and I have to be strong, not just for my sake, but for the girls sake too. Knowing I am strong enough and have the mental strength to beat my urges is one of the most satisfying feelings I know.
5. And finally, one last topic aimed at our slowly degrading generation. In this day and age, it seems like everyone is having sex. It almost feels as if someone hasn't gotten to third base by the time they left high school then they are a loser. Nobody should ever feel pressured to have sex just because everyone else is doing it or because their friends tease them. I am a virgin and I'm proud of it! Some people may laugh at this. Whatever, I don't care. I know quite a few people who are not virgins, and in many cases they had to pay for their actions. Most of them got it easy and just went through some emotional stuff. But some were not so lucky. My brother and sister had sex around the age of 16 and both had children. It honestly messed up their lives. But their faults made them role models for me. I knew what not to do. For the friends I know who had sex and did not get pregnant, I'm glad they did not have to go through that. Because I know they would not have been able to handle that responsibility. I'm willing to bet many of them did not even think what would happen if they had got pregnant. Yes, I have not had sex, but I don't regret it. My life is just as fulfilling as those who had sex, and I have not had the worries they had. There are juvenile people who tease me, but I just look at what they went through and smile because they are so naive and won't admit their mistakes. I'm not ready to have sex, and when I even when I am ready it doesn't mean I'm going to do it right away.
A few of my friends may say I'm being hypocritical because I have done some other things besides sex. Yes, I have and in some cases I regret it. But this show has really opened my eyes and I want to help spread the message so everyone can see the consequences of having sex. I've made a mistake or two in my life, but I'm willing to admit I was wrong and have learned from those mistakes. Yes, sex is a good thing. Don't think I'm saying it's bad and should never be done. But everyone should know what they are getting into and be ready to face their consequences, instead of just giving in because they think they are in love or because everyone else is doing it or because their hormones are out of control.
If you have any questions, I'll be glad to give examples from my life, this show, or my own opinion. Want to remain annonymous? Use a truth box so I won't know who you are. I don't have all the answers and I don't want anyone to think that. But there are some who need to hear some of these things. Even if they've heard it before, it doesn't hurt to have a reminder. And if you would like to actually come see the show, I will try to find where we perform and see if you can watch. Thank you for reading.
Something I have noticed in life is that a lot of people feel this need to prove themselves to others by showing how hard they have had it. Like they can get respect if they show they've gone through more shit. It's almost like the childish argument of "my dad can beat up your dad". But why do we want to go through hard times? Is it really worth it, to get some form of respect? I don't think so. In my life, I've had a gun pulled on me once, gotten stabbed in the knee by a pencil as a kid, fallen out of my tree house, lost a loved one, gone through some heart break, got picked on growing up, had one of my girlfriends try to kill me, and have had to help take care of my diabetic mother. Yea, sounds like a lot when I lay it all on the table, but in the long run it's not. I've had a fairly easy and care free life. I didn't grow up in some ghetto neighborhood. I've never had a serious run in with the cops. I've never done drugs or alcohol. With the exception of once or twice I've never had to worry about my life, and I've never seriously fought someone. These are good things. Why should I focus on the tough times to try and build myself up? If anything, it makes me seem like the kind of person who has trouble follow them. Instead, I've lived a healthy life with very little conflict, and I am proud of that. Sure, it may make me less intimidating. But who the hell am I trying to intimidate to begin with? All these "tough guys" just need to take a chill pill and enjoy life.
problems
