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12.09.08

Yo,



Sometime’s it takes a video game a full soundtrack to set the mood, tone, and atmosphere needed to evoke a certain feeling in the player. Other times, by luck or talent, composers need only a single song to capture the entire essence of a game and its characters. It could be three minutes or fifteen seconds, a repeating melody or a lyrical track played over the end credits. Attached to a single character, they can add layers to the psyche that would take hours of cut scenes to put to words. In the background of a level, the tune can remain etched in the player’s memories, keeping the feeling of what it was like to play it long after the console is off. Each generation of games had its masterpieces, narrowing it all down was almost impossible. Needless to say you’ll disagree with us, but we love that, inspiring response and forcing people to explain why we’re wrong and they’re right gets them thinking of the songs they choose, and on video game motifs themselves. Quiet in the audience, the orchestra is warming up. These are The Top Ten Video Game Themes in all of Video Game History.

The Top Ten Video Game Themes

#10: Contra - Jungle Theme
 


In the olden days of cheat codes and coin-operated gaming systems, an arcade measured its worth by how loudly and how often you heard this little ditty. It was not only the theme of one of the most challenging arcade experiences, but it also stood for the entire second generation of arcade gaming, of blistered thumbs and the fervent searches for that one quarter deep in your pocket as the Continue? timer ran down. But beyond the metaphysical nostalgia, it’s just a damn rocking tune, fit for the millions of covers done with electric guitars over the years since. You knew as the first level loaded and your commando fell onto the jungle terrain that you were in for the undeniable fun of spread shots and huge bosses. The rest of the soundtrack packed the same punch, but its this first track that takes us back to laser-sighting our focus and cracking our fingers above the trigger button in readiness for the first wave of enemies.

#9: Duke Nukem – Megadeth Theme



This little ditty is badass in the way that Black Sabbath’s opening riff to “Iron Man” made the trailer for the superhero movie badass. Within the first few opening notes, you know shit is about to go down, a prologue of epic manliness. Toss in the Duke spitting one of his famous sound bites, “Come Get Some!” and there is no way someone could mistake the game to count for anything other than violence in glorious gratuity. With the 3D interation of this franchise being reborn on Xbox Live, a whole new generation of Halo-ites and Gear(s)Heads can return to a time of media-driven rebellion, back when First Person Shooters were good. When the Duke ruled alongside “Doom” and “Castle Wolfenstein”; a generation of gamers that found solace in gore after the world around them just didn’t understand the bloodlust. Maybe I’m reading too much into this, maybe its just badass. Ya know what? That works too.

#8: Guilty Gear XX #Reload - Megatona Furioso



Kicking someone’s ass has always been an activity made better by kickass tunes. It just makes the impact of fists and groans of defeat that more ego-stroking. Never is this more apparent than in Guilty Gear games, Megatona being the most lauded example. Hard hitting riffs complemented the sheer machismo that oh so often comes with the supreme combo execution. It was the character Potemkin’s theme, but the hardcore track soon became synonymous with the series itself, giving it a reputation for a wicked anime aesthetic that permeated from its character animations to its menu screens. It may not have the sales of “Soul Caliber” or the sophistication of “Tekken”, but no one can deny Guilty Gear its rocking style. Naysayers are called to look up Furioso as exhibit A.

#7: Mass Effect – M4 Part II



The completion of any role-playing game, even without side quests and ultimate weapons, bears a sense of accomplishment, especially at Mass Effect’s length. These feelings of elation at one’s ability are made even better with a triumphant ending theme, something that puts a cap on your contentment. Mass Effect's opens with a guitar riff halfway between the latest alternative rock single and the victory theme from Top Gun, acting as a modern take on the “epilogue montage” moment that often accompanies the main credits, with a little bit of a electronic ambiance thrown in to prevent it from descending too much into Kenny Loggins-levels of cheese. This piece makes it on the list for the moment when we first hear it, in addition the song's own merit. More so than any other credit music, this primped, Emo-esque ballad caters to the feeling of finality and accomplishment felt at the end of an adventure only a role-playing game could provide. It doesn’t hurt that Part II follows one of the best games of last year, either.

#6: Silent Hill 2 - Theme of Laura



The Silent Hill series is unrivaled in atmosphere. The game’s uncanny ability to maintain a state of constant tension and unease was always aided with a claustrophobic level design and, more importantly, Akira Yamaoka’s score. His predilection towards sounds both weird and alluring was never more beautifully demented than in this tune. Despite the soothing melody, there is something unnerving crawling beneath this tune's surface. This theme epitomized the series’ motto of “simultaneous attraction and repulsion;” a perfect medley of an electric and acoustic guitar, with a haunting undercurrent of echoed strings and computerized sound effects, not to mention the famous mandolin of the series's opening. Not quite gothic, not quite horror, the song bleeds atmosphere and haunting beauty; everything that makes Silent Hill the ultimate series of survival horror.

#5: Chrono Cross - Time Scar


It was buried under its popular brother, Chrono Trigger, but not for lack of quality. In fact, many fans’ cite the sequel’s soundtrack as just one of the ways this RPG is superior to Trigger, offering up Time Scar as evidence. It’s not difficult to see why this one song could be held up to such a standard, being one of the most self-contained musical pieces in the genre. It begins as a light and airy piece, a relaxing Celtic melody, useful for gameplay in towns and inns. Without hesitation, it slips into a string-heavy, fast-paced drumbeat set, exceptional for combat and exploration gameplay. It’s the game itself set to melody, a poetically paced narrative coupled with a deep and rewarding combat system. If Square's smart, gamers that made the mistake of passing this one up will be playing Time Scar re-made for this generation.

#4: Legend of Zelda - Overworld Theme
 


If ever there was a tune that embodied the word, “classic,” here it be. For most of us, this song is synonymous with our first fun video game experience, and it hasn’t gotten any less powerful with time. It’s an upbeat and jaunty tune that makes all who hear it want to go out on their own adventure, sword and shield in hand. It symbolized the pure fun one had when playing the game, whether it was in the first few minutes or the last hour. Link has been forever tied to the song since, and developers have carried the mantle with pride, reinventing it each generation with new orchestration. But its the classical tune that will ever be immortal, embedded in minds and hearts of any gamers that long to quest.

#3: Final Fantasy VI - Terra's Theme



“I don’t think I have what it takes to make a good action game. I think I’m better at telling a story.” This was Hironobo Sakaguchi’s response to what type of game would be made with the last of - then-failing - Square’s money. The first Final Fantasy was published under that credo, and each one after it pays respect to Sakaguchi-san’s original vision. For many fans, nowhere is Hironobo’s idea embodied more perfectly than in Terra’s Theme in Final Fantasy VI. This is the perfect song to complement the words “once upon a time.” It’s a sense of weighted whimsy; a folkloric lightness coupled with a dramatic foundation. It’s the first six games of the series brought into a single tune, a reflection on where the series has been with an acknowledgement to what it hoped to accomplish in the future. It’s modern Shakespeare, the perfect prologue to an adventure of Team Fantasy’s standards.

#2: Tetris - Main Theme


Think about how much of your life has been spent playing Tetris. On the Gameboy, the PC, your cell phone, the NES and all of its other incarnations. Think of how long you spent on each playthru, how long it took to beat each level. Add that up over your lifetime, and for many people the total runtime is longer than what it takes to beat all of the Final Fantasies put together. You may have hated it, loved it, or never gave enough notice to it as you watched the blocks drop. But however you thought of the song, one thing is for sure, it didn’t stop playing once the power button was turned off. It was lodged in your head for at least a few days, coming out as humming or whistling or just having it play over and over in your mind as you go about your day. That alone gives it a spot. It’s one of the most remix-able songs in history, it’s a repeatable tune that doesn’t have that snag at the end when the track starts over, and its one of the first tunes we as a generation remember in terms of gaming. It. Will. Never. Leave.

#1: Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty – Theme



Harry Gregson-Williams, of the Hans Zimmer filmmaking studio, was tapped by Kojima for the score of Sons of Liberty. Although he produced an intense and cinematic soundtrack for the project, it is this main theme of the game that has become instantly identifiable with both the series and its creator. The orchestral piece has an intense emotional arch, beginning in a traditional covert military style with computerized sound effects and a strong bass, but with a steady speed: strings are added, with their ascending crescendo. A sense of strength and power are built, only to be crushed seconds later as the entire song falls into a silence. Then, from the ashes of the first set comes the slow rise of the familiar tune, the sense of power replaced with a more somber tone as they play out their stanza. The strings are slowly added, also at a slower pace, with triumphant vocals sewing the orchestration together. The sense of strength found in the first set replaced with one of hurt pride; what was loud and chest-thumping returns at a humbled, poetic pace, only to finish with the highest point in the theme, an ultimate triumph after sobering defeat. Intense, emotional, inspirational and patriotic, it acts as a perfect abbreviation of the series, a microcosm of Kojima’s fiction and storytelling capabilities, and a summary of Snake’s philosophical journeys. If ever you find yourself trapped in life, a situation seemingly too difficult to complete, play this tune, just once, and regain back your strength. Remember what’s it like to be moved, to be empowered, to be human. Its a remarkable achievement to capture such essence and depth within just a few moments of music, but Gregson-Williams resounding success, and the powerful feelings across the world that its caused, makes its placement easy to bestow. This is the greatest theme in the history of video games.

Devil's Advocate

Posted by: Reese Kaine in video gamesgamingGame on

Reese Kaine

Devil's Advocate
(Originally submitted on September 14, 2008)

(Ed note: I originally submitted this and all of my other blogs on ScrewAttack, other than the shit-flick tournament entries)

After catching up with the podcasts (I was four shows behind. Don't judge me), I suddenly became outraged at the fact that emulation was looked down upon by the entire staff. I have a feeling that I won't be welcome as an intern, but that's beside the point.

I'm going to play the bad guy and come right out and say it:

I play old console cart games on my PC and my Xbox (And soon on my PS2 via memory card hack), and I would never stop for four simple reasons:

1) I have no room for all of the consoles and games.

Let's face it, not everyone can be James Rolfe, Stuttering Craig, Handsome Tom, or that Atari guy on DeviantArt with the massive collections worth around half-a-million-bucks, we just can't devote an entire room to our classic gaming goodness, and so we either put our old stuff in boxes, or sell them. Let's face facts, about 9 out of 10 people here have had the talk from their parents or even their wives that they already have the [insert console name here] and TONS of games, that they don't need another. And most likely those same percentiles of people have been given the ultimatum of choosing whether to keep their game collections, or selling the lot just to get the new console and maybe two or three games. DON'T YOU DARE FUCKING LIE, YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE. I had to fight tooth and nail just to keep my Atari 2600, some of you probably weren't as lucky.

The only people that don't have this problem are adults with really understanding spouses (And most likely no kids, and let's face even more facts: If you're a kid, and you ask if your parents could devote a room to your growing game collection, you WILL be told to shut up and go mow the lawn, even if it's pretty well-cut. They just want to punish you for asking such a stupid question.), or families that don't have to worry about living space. Translation: RICH PEOPLE. The people that could actually AFFORD a Neo Geo, a Genesis with the SEGA-CD, a Turbographix-16 with CD-Addon, and a 3D0.

Rich people. The people that you wish you could impale their heads on a stick because they had so much of the cool stuff, and you're just barely getting by with a Super NES, and you were lucky enough to find a copy of Super Metroid at the local movie rental joint (I don't remember if Blockbuster was around back then, if so then I goofed and I apologize in advance).

2) I can't afford every last good game out there.

Games are expensive, even when they're cheap. Chances are, you have bills to pay, food to buy, computer parts to replace, and someone who depends on you (Wife, kids, parents, roommate, even the pet). A lot of the time, you see something you like, you WANT it, it's not in your collection, and it's right there, waiting for you. That happens to me an awful lot, as of this writing, I'm looking at a rare game on eBay that's only $42 with shipping. But all I can do is drool over it, because I have no money, and am currently unemployed. I've been unemployed for two years, and there's no solid jobs in sight. No offense, Craig, but when I heard you a few months back on SideScrollers, telling people out there who can't find work that they're just not looking hard enough, I wanted to strangle the shit out of you, along with a few other unmentionable violent acts. To put it short, I was pissed. People who HAVE jobs have no problem griping at those who can't find work, because they have jobs and think it's just as easy now as it was then to find them. It's not. And just so I won't have to bore you with political details, I'll sum it up for you by saying that once you take a look around, you'll see why.

Seriously. Drop everything you're doing, take a fucking walk outside, and look around, talk to people, they'll tell you.

But back to the point: Even if you're buying a few cheap NES games, you believe that you could get a few more because they're cheap, and that shit adds up. On another note: The places you can actually go out and get classic games is decreasing because A) They're being gobbled up by collectors, B) The demand just isn't there, and thus, people close up shop, and C) The venues are utterly destroyed by acts you can't even imagine. I was pissed (And possibly one of the Mods here as well) because one of the major flea markets in my state of West Virginia burned to the ground a few days ago, and there was ALWAYS a vendor there that sold classic games, along with various long stabby-pointy things (Some people call them ninja swords. Ridiculous, ain't it?) to which I also collect, given the opportunity.

3) Old stuff is rare, and will break.

Folks, it's a common fact. Your Genesis consoles are twenty years old, your Super NES consoles are seventeen years old, and your Nintendo 64 consoles are fourteen years old, and let's not even MENTION how old your NES consoles are. To put it short and rather blunt, your old shit is worn-out, and will break someday. And if you're not Kain Kusanagi, aren't someone who watches his vids, or aren't at least someone with ways of replacing wires, buttons, and interface connectors, you're going to wind up plonking down some cash to replace a controller or even the whole damn system, and honestly: What's the point?

Yeah, I know I'm opening a whole can of worms by making that statement, but hear me out: That NES repair tutorial that Kusanagi put out is very informative and thorough, but the part that kills me is that he expects all of us to be that delicate when trying. But the problem I have most about old hardware is hardly even the consoles (Although the 1st-generation NES makes for an honorable mention), but the controllers. Those things can take quite a beating, but there are those moments where you have to say goodbye to your trusty control pad, and toss it in the rubbish bin. My atomic-purple N64 controller lasted quite a while, but seriously: How do you fix a worn-out analog stick that's ghosting? How do you replace the rubber pads underneath your Xbox controller buttons? How do you fix a wire that was severed because the cat couldn't help but chew on it so many times? Some things are just impossible to do at home. Kain, if you want to cover these just to stop people like me from bitching, by all means go for it. Just sayin' is all.

4) ROM hacking.

Some people care enough about the games to change the graphics, sound, music, the difficulty, and even the text to make new experiences out of old classics. Mario, Zelda, Metroid, Final Fantasy, and Sonic make for the best examples. Seriously, who wants to play the same game over and over and over?



Okay, bad example. Both the above and below are from Super Mario World: The Second Reality Project: Reloaded (A remake of the original hack).



Here's a set of boss characters from the infamous Brutal Mario hack:



And finally: Link to the Past: Master Quest



Let's face it: We play video games because we like them......then we finish them and never play them again, because we know what happens and how to overcome every challenge. And since Nintendo, SEGA, Capcom, Konami, and the other game devs (Save for ID, Epic, and Valve) have no intention of redoing their games with additional challenge and/or expansion paks to keep the experience going, or to simply prove that the graphics and sound can be upgraded while keeping the experience the same, we're let to our own devices to improve what's there, and it's pretty obvious that the ROMhacking scene is pretty damn huge because of this.

I haven't had much time to experience them, but there's also an entire underground community devoted to translating Japanese RPGs that Capcom, Konami, Square-Enix-Taito (Remember? They're one company now), and SEGA each have no intention of bringing here to the States, or even Europe. The demand has always been there, but they don't care about demand. So we take matters into our own hands and hack the text just so everyone else knows what they're doing when trying to use a cure potion, or whacking a monster with a sharp object, or casting a nuclear-arrow spell or something.

(Ed note: I know I promised/threatened to do a page on why Nintendo's just as guilty as Konami for screwing the fans, but I've been busy with a multi-platform project that I'm hoping to finish and terrorize everyone with by Halloween at best, Election Day at least.)

Look, I can't tell everyone how to feel about the subject. There's moral complications involved that can make paranoid people believe that they'll be going to hell for "stealing", there's the belief that developers and publishers aren't getting their money from sales of their old games (They're not getting their money ANYWAY. Look at eBay for Christ's sake), there's the belief that you're just not getting the same experience by choosing a game from a front-end menu, there's the belief that some games are just great the way they are and should never change, and there's the belief that some games just SHOULDN'T be released outside of Japan.

Well, except that last one, those people need to be shot. Sorry, but there's some beliefs that need to be smashed with a motherfucking steamroller. That's one of them.

So next time you want to bash the emulation scene, just take a few moments and ponder to yourselves: Is it really THAT fucking bad? And if you don't want to listen to my words, then listen to the words of Mr. Rolfe:

"When did the idea of simple convenience suddenly become obsolete?"

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This comment was added by myself very shortly after the blog was upped, as a response to some guy pretending to be Power Ranger royalty (Which can only be met with pointing and laughing). Basically, I couldn't stand the fact that people were comparing playing ROMs to stabbing and mugging people in dark alleys, and that robbing a bank or carjacking was the next logical step. It was just.........so stupid.

Devil's Advocate: The Sequel
(Originally Submitted on Mon, September 15, 2008)

But we're not talking about stealing cars, we're not even talking about ANY kind of violent crime. Hell, we're not even talking about stealing. Apparently, you're having just as much trouble grasping the concept of what exactly stealing IS (Plus the concept of sarcasm, as Caliban Don Flamingo pointed out). Instead you're coming off as some kind of troll, and you know what rule is in place for dealing with trolls, don't you (No, it's NOT rule 34, you sicko)?

So I'm going to get this out, and then I'm going to ignore you, because you're just not worth my time anymore.

    * Stealing is lifting someone's wallet.
    * Stealing is breaking into someone's home and making off with someone's items.
    * Stealing is robbing a bank.
    * Stealing is breaking into a car and driving off.
    * Stealing is invading a sovereign nation to drill for oil.

COPYING IS NOT STEALING. Copying has existed practically since the dawn of time, but it was only recently that it was decided to be made into some kind of crime worse than that of what child-molestors do. Copying games has existed since the IBM computer, as much as copying music back during the days of 8-Track recorders. Somehow, I have a feeling you haven't proudly destroyed your VCR the moment your parents brought it home from the department store because it can "steal" TV programming. Somehow, I have the feeling you're not chiding Gametrailers for allowing "Stealing" of ScrewAttack videos, since, technically, that's copying, and people should only watch them via the website while rotting in their death row prison cells.

We are gamers, just like everyone else. We love video games so much we don't want to see them go away into the memory hole, never to see the light of day again, never to be remembered by the next generation (Super C was the first to go, it definitely won't be the last. Fuck you, Nintendo). In short, we don't want our treasured memories to DIE. That's why we do this, we're not preserving these games just to fuck with developers, that's just retarded. We're not just making fan translations and challenge hacks to rub it in Shigeru Miyamoto's face, it's wrong to even say that.

You show your love any way you can. Why do you think WE'RE HERE, for fuck's sake?! Do you think we'd care about ScrewAttack (Ed note: yeah, for those that didn't know, I was blogging at that god-awful place) if it was anything BUT a we-love-games site?

Show a little love. :-D

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Part 3 of this trilogy wound up on someone else's blog, you may know him: He is Kazekawa, and he posted the video about Piracy. The debate raged on again, and the Power Ranger troll was going nuts again. I knew I could put him in his place.

Devil's Advocate: Another Sequel
(Originally Submitted on October 28, 2008)

For those that may be curious as to where the original was, I give you this page.

Folks, we can go around and 'round and 'round and 'round until we get sick, puke all over each other, someone says "Hey, we could make a bitchin' game out of this!", and then some other guy goes "I DID make a game out of that, I own the rights! Pay up, bitches!"

Oh wait, that's the whole point.

The last time I brought this about, some jackass who thought he was Power Ranger Royalty was talking the same crap that tall buildings speak of, that we're not entitled to games. This is the same kind of talk that tries to make people believe that bottled water is better for you than from the faucet.

This kind of talk guarantees that video games will be nothing more than a toy, a luxury, something that will NEVER become an artform. You can push for 90-minute cutscenes all you want, but at the end of the day, you'll still be paying $300-$700 to play with a toy, a toy that may or may not entertain you as well as when you were actually a kid.

This is also why I push constantly for open-source gaming, and freeware gaming, so that you CAN be entitled to gaming that's just as good as the kind you're spending your hard-earned money on.

There are games out there that are long-gone that we miss, we can't purchase, and are difficult to find sometimes, but they're copyrighted, so they're still illegal to download. Tough luck.

Tough luck? Would you actually say that to someone's face, and not be scared of getting the shit beat out of you? Fuck you, if I can't play the game legitimately, I'll find some other way to play.

Speaking of emulators, I'm getting very sick of the whole "Why would you want to play Mega Man or Street Fighter on a keyboard, anyway?" bullshit. Get with the times! Go to Http://www.play-asia.com , there's tons of USB accessories to plug in your NES, SNES, Genesis, PSX, Dreamcast, N64, and even Xbox controllers into your PC. Shit, there's even HUBS to where you can plug in up to FOUR controllers! There's even arcade sticks matching that of the Dreamcast arcade panel controllers. I have one for my Xbox, it's called the X-Fighting Stick, it cost me $80, and it fucking rocks when I play MAME, NES, Genesis, and even PSX games on my Xbox.

What's that? Why am I still playing emulated games when I can afford an $80 fighting stick? What did I just say?! It's hard to find these games sometimes, mostly because they're being gobbled up by collectors, or they're being destroyed by people that think no one should be playing them.

You can't rent NES, SNES and Genesis games anymore (Even in Bumfuck West Virginia where I live, rental outlets only carry down to the previous-gen games), Gamefly is a fucking JOKE, and Nintendo and Microsoft are now retiring games from their VC/XBL lineups (Apparently, they're too cheap to spring for more server space). Most of all, it's hard to find these games locally. Not every county in every state of the U.S. has a flea market, yard sales come once in a blue moon, and who really wants to scour the want-ads of their newspapers to find video games? Aren't we still trying to get LAID?!

(BTW: SWM, 29, ethnically-colorblind, seeks SF of similar age for companionship, love of gaming not entirely necessary but would be really nice. *Whispers* CALL ME.)

Once again, we can go about this in so many ways, ScrewAttack will look like swiss cheese when it's all over. And granted, it's nice to have nice little windows all over the place, but let's face facts: WINTER'S COMING. But the next time that someone tells me that gaming isn't a right, and that we're not entitled to gaming, there will always be ten people like me pointing and laughing at that dumb fuck, and wondering why the hell ScrewAttack even exists.

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Devil's Advocate: The Final Chapter
(Originally submitted on November 23, 2008)
(Possibly removed from ScrewAttack)

I made sure to do a search for a certain game here on Screwattack before I did this entry, no hits whatsoever. Good. I think a history lesson is in order to fully drive the point home and leave.

In 1995, Japan released an addon for the SFC called the Satellaview that turned your Super NES into a hybrid of television and hardcore gaming. Yeah, that extension port on the bottom was actually used for something other than collecting dust and broken Playstation dreams.



It allowed for you to play official modified versions of several SNES games, some were exclusive sequels (Like F-Zero 2), some were just portions of the games for high-score collecting (Like the mini-games in Chrono Trigger). Yeah, Nintendo had an XBox LIVE-esque service before Microsoft, it's just sad they never followed through with it to the European Union, or even North America.

One title in general that comes to mind is a game called Zelda no Densetsu. Hardcore Zelda fans and anyone that is fluent in both English and Japanese will note that that this is translated as "The Legend of Zelda", as in this one:



You might have played it at least once or twice.

Think about it. The original Zelda on the Super NES. Updated graphics, music, and sound effects. What else could Nintendo do to update the old classic?

  • How about rearrange the overworld and dungeons once more for AN OFFICIAL THIRD QUEST?

  • How about make it a competitive event where people can win prizes by getting further in the game, more items, more Triforce pieces and more rupees than others?

  • How about being able to collect more than 255 rupees?

  • How about adding a live narrator announcing that for a short period, you're going to get an unlimited supply of bombs, or your blue candle is going to become red, or your boomerang is going to be on fire and be capable of killing more stronger monsters (You can even kill moblins and those lion fuckers with that thing)?




  • All of the above have been done for this remake, and yet we English-speaking folk didn't get to play it............yet.



    It took quite awhile, and getting rid of the timer has been a real bitch to deal with, but it's been done. The Legend of Zelda remake has been hacked, and is now fully playable on any SNES emulator without restrictions, and was given an extra bonus: you can now actually play as and , instead of and .

    Yeah, I'm going there one last time. And we "thieves" have the biggest exclusive of them all. Collectors would LOVE to have an official cart of this game, as much having the Mega Man trilogy (Face it: One thru three are all that really matters, everyone can agree with that) on the Genesis, but this one is simply not in cartridge form. Nintendo just did NOT want people outside of Japan to even KNOW about this game, let alone play it.

    I'm not bragging about this, I'm calling for a celebration of gaming, everywhere. One of the holy grails of ultimate video gaming has been unearthed and you can now actually play it. And it gets better: There was another quest that was unearthed from that Satellite cart's memory card. Yeah, there was also a FOURTH QUEST. A FOURTH OFFICIAL QUEST.

    I don't think Nintendo's going to release this on Virtual Console, as it's completely-unknown even among some of the hardcore fans. When you do a search for BS-Zelda on ScrewAttack, you're only going to come up with this blog entry.........I find that insulting. But then, I'm an emulation hobbyist, I just happen to know about this stuff along with some of you, and it kinda sucks that no one else is talking about it (Nor the Link to the Past remake on the same Satellite addon system that was literally done the same way, but with a live actress playing Zelda, screaming for help as she's being chased by Octoroks, and a 100,000 rupee limit. But that hasn't been fully hacked yet, but you can still read about it).

    Guys, check it out. Play some Zelda. Discover the legend all over again, and grow some new headaches. It was easy because Hyrule looked the same, almost. It was hard because all the dungeons were different and I was used to only what I knew. And when I finished off Gannon and claimed the Triforce of Power and saved Zelda, I was satisfied. And you can be as well. Just go here and download the patched ROM in its entirety, and if you think you're Hylian enough, take on the Fourth quest as well. And if Nintendo grows some fucking balls and releases the damn thing on Virtual Console (DON'T HOLD YOUR BREATH ON THAT), buy it.

    I will.

    As this is a Devil's Advocate entry, I'm going to come full-circle on the issue. I finally found a job, and after a month of building up cash reserves, I finally got a 360, and have been playing the crap out of the old Arcade games on XBox LIVE. 'Course, I felt like I was cheating, almost. I had major experience going in via MAME, and it wasn't hard getting several of the achievements in the original Contra. I managed to get all the way to Red Falcon's heart with one credit and then lost my last life by one of those bugs. But I wasn't mad, that was my first try on XBL. I'll probably get that Bulletproof achievement the next time I run through it.

    Thank you, MAME. Thank you ZSNES. Thank you VirtuaNES. Thank you Kega Fusion. And thank you to all other console emulator programmers for allowing me to be able to practice the classics.

    ======================================================================
    Conclusion:

    I decided to leave ScrewAttack a month and a half ago, when A) They tried to make me look like some kind of criminal because I liked to play patches of old games just for replay value, and B) ScrewAttack in general just doesn't have anything to say anymore except how "awesome" they are just for being there. I don't have awesome in my blood, nor do I have pizazz, or a shred of rad. Oh yeah, and you're required to have a video camera to make blogs worth reading. Plus some of their regulars are just mean-spirited and obnoxious. What are they trying to do to draw in fans, other than the fact that, hey, the Nerd's there, and they have a gaming contest once a year?

    Not a god damned thing.

    I know that last chapter of Devil's Advocate is going to get removed from the site due to having a link to a downloadable ROM of BS-Zelda, despite the fact that no fucking cartridge exists, nor has Nintendo shown any interest in releasing the game on Virtual Console or Wii-Ware. But it doesn't matter, does it? It's a ROM, ROM's are illegal, and no one likes lawsuits.

    ScrewAttack = Pussies.

    My belief on emulation can be summed up in eight words:

    "If this is wrong, I don't wanna be right."

    (Originally Submitted on June 23, 2008)

    I've held off on presenting this for quite awhile, basically because I wanted to start up a challenge to the gamers to come up with what they thought would make for an original game. Then supposedly I would blow everyone away with mine.

    But given recent events, I think it's time to just come out and show what I've got.

    ================================================

    For George Carlin.

    ================================================

    I call this one......"Bad Baby!!"

    You play the role of a 47-year-old semi-retarded alcoholic that has an adult-baby fetish.

    After an accident drinking tainted breastmilk, this freak manbaby has the oddball superpower to crush his enemies with his sonic manbaby-cry. Secondary weapons would involve a lead rattle, beer bottles painted white to look like baby ba-ba's, toy horsey Shurikens, a touch-activated talking teddy bear, and his own loaded diaper.

    The controls can be simplified to the classic TMNT style of jump and attack, but to really take advantage of the extended attack options, a third attack button would let you you use whatever was in your sub-weapon slot at the time, and a fourth would let you use your charged-up sonic manbaby cry. Controlling the Manbaby can be as easy as using either the D-pad or the analog stick.

    Levels would include:

    * Generic street level with hordes of disgusted citizens and lowly cops on the beat.

    * A drunken rage at a local biker bar.

    * Brawling with security on the set of the Spring Jerringer Show.

    * A drug-induced stroll through a very colorful land of candy (Which turns out to be another generic street level after completing it).

    and

    * A local gun-toting militia consisting of, surprisingly, rival manbabies with the sole intent of taking you down.

    Bonus games would involve getting burped by a very embarassed hooker, attempting to use cuteness to get out of a public indecency arrest, picking the perfect mother to breastfeed with, and scaring real babies at a day-care center by making faces with the analog sticks, face buttons, and the shoulder buttons.

    My lack of experience with the Xbox 360 can only leave me to wonder if there's ways of using the x360 headset to send voice commands into the game itself (like Lifeline and the SOCOM games for the PS2). If so, then there could be room for even more insane shit.

    There could be a cheat code screen where you only see the Manbaby staring at the player, and the analog sticks control which way his hands rub his fat hairy manboobs (Clicking the analog sticks would squeeze the manboobs), and if you do the proper motions while saying certain phrases or talking a certain way in the headset, you could unlock various cheats. But the method would be so disturbing that, well, why would you WANT to?

    The cheat code entry would also be recorded and sent to XBox Live for contest purposes of who can make the funniest and/or most disturbing variation of a cheat code entry.Obviously, you have to reward the winners with something, so give them Microsoft Points. They earned it.....sick fucks.

    Direct all hate-mail to This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it :-D


    (Originally submitted on June 20, 2008)

    Castlevania, Contra, Metal Gear, Lone Ranger. You look at Konami, and you think "Oh yeah. Greatness." But did you know that Konami was also a bunch of assholes?

    Now before you scream for MY severed head on a stick (http://www.screwattack.com/node/4393), I'll explain this line of thinking:

    -----Contra-----
    Lack of arcade ports when the hardware was available. Granted, the NES games were superb, and still hold to this day. But it took them twenty years to bring the arcade originals to the home consoles? I can understand not doing it with the NES and Super NES with the limited hardware, but the Playstation was more than capable, and maybe even the N64. The previous-gen consoles have enough space to put all of the contra games (Arcade, NES, SNES, and Genesis) onboard, as well as more than enough processing power to handle it. Konami just didn't want to give it to us.

    -----Gradius-----
    We never got the real sequel to the franchise, and instead got a Gradius-hacked version of Salamander called Lifeforce, with the levels re-arranged, and with new boss characters. Gradius 3's Super NES port was simply rushed, and never got rid of the slowdown bug. Obviously they had to chop out some of the content to save space. Plus for some reason, when the Gradius 3&4 collection was released for the PS2, they chose to ONLY release 3&4 on the disc. Were they trying to cut costs with the CD-ROM format? Release the whole goddamned series on a disc! THERE'S MORE THAN ENOUGH SPACE ON THE DISC. Gradius, Gradius 2, Gradius 3, Gradius 4, Salamander, and even Salamander 2. Hell you could even fit the Parodius games on the disc as unlockable extras! Konami just didn't want to give it to us...........wait, it's on the PSP? Oh fuck you, Konami.

    -----Metal Gear-----
    Oh Jesus, this one hurts. You have a butchered NES port, a completely-DIFFERENT sequel that even Kojima despised, and a story that was given the tentacle rape treatment because Ultra Games thought they could do it better. Us Yankee folk were forced to buy the Playstation 1 & 2 games twice because the Japs give themselves additional features after bringing the single game to our shores. Either release the full experience from the start, or suffer the backlash. Take your pick, pricks.

    Castlevania series:

    -----Haunted Castle-----
    For those that look for the ultimate Castlevania challenge, the first one is the biggest one. Yes, Haunted Castle was a remake of the first game, and to really screw with you, they only give you one life. Try to take that in. Seriously. One life. It's hard enough to play through the first NES game without continuing at least once, let alone DYING just once. This game deserves to be on XBox Live, if and any just for the achievement points and leaderboards.



    -----Rondo of Blood-----
    I'm very pissed about Konami only releasing this game on the PSP. I'm not buying a PSP for this. Fuck you, Konami. You had a GOLDEN opportunity to please the fans when the Playstation homebrew project was underway.

    Believe it or not, much like Final Fantasy 5, a group of developers were working on an unofficial port of Rondo of Blood for the PS1, until Konami shut it down. Despite the fan-interest, there was no official port on the PS1, not even in Japan. Konami just didn't want to give it to us. You notice a pattern here?

    =====================================
    =====Unreleased Arcade Greatness=====
    =====================================
    The Japanese got a Konami Classics collection for the Playstation and Saturn. Us Americans had to wait for the Nintendo DS, Game Boy Advance, and PS2 to get the 1980s arcade games. Here was some arcade greatness of the 80s and 90s that you may not have known about, but kicked serious ass.

    -----Ajax-----
    Konami's Gradius-esque answer to Xevious, but with a special take: Lots of powerups to utilize, and an alternate flying machine of death for between levels. What other game lets you point an F-15 straight down at a battleship and not crash the damn thing? Classic.

    Seriously, skip to 3:25 and see for yourself.




    -----Crime Fighters-----
    You can never have too many four-player beat-em-ups, you also can never have too many games where the overall goal was to save twice as many girls as there are limits on the amount of players (Who doesn't want a girl on each arm?). The only complaint I have with this game is that you only have one life, and you gotta keep pumping quarters to keep your strength up.



    -----Devil World-----
    This was a nice attempt to merge Gauntlet with Gradius. You have two characters, an Indiana Jones-esque archeologist and a Barbie-doll reporter who were sucked through a portal into a world of demons. Luckily, there are powerups all over the place that increase your speed, give you shields, flamethrowers, lasers, and even sticks of dynamite. Unfortunately, when the game was brought to the States, the name was changed to Dark Adventure (eh), a third player was introduced (yay!), the players now only have melee combat (hmm), the Gradius powerup system was removed (huh?), the level layout was randomized (the fuck?), and the boss monsters were removed (wait a minute!), making the game unwinnable whereas Devil World had an ending (Oh fuck you!). This hits a little close to home for me, as I used to play Dark Adventure at the local Big Lots......and came to regret it.

    Unfortunately, there's no existing video of Dark Adventure, so here's Devil World:



    -----G.I.Joe-----
    This game reeks of awesomeness. What other G.I.Joe game out there was simply about a small squad of Joes rushing the most fortified of Cobra's fortresses, and blasting the shit out of EVERYTHING? This was worth every wasted quarter, and the time spent blowing up the weapons factory. This is what G.I.Joe was about, plain and simple.



    Duke, Scarlett, Roadblock, and Snake Eyes, the original wrecking crew(tm).

    -----Guitar Freaks-----
    Make no mistake, Guitar Hero and Rock Band are great games, but don't kid yourself: They are knockoffs. Konami started the movement with Guitar Freaks, along with Drum Freaks, Beatmania, Keyboardmania, and Dance Dance Revolution. Will the originator please stand up and claim the throne?

    November Update: I know that Konami decided to go the same route as Guitar Hero and Rock Band with their own version, but it's just too late.



    -----Iron Horse-----
    Nothing like a train robbery to make for a good game plot. Yes, for the first time in gaming, you get to be the evil cowboy train robber. Just simple fun.

    -----Jail Break-----
    Same graphical style as Iron Horse and Green Beret, only now you're one of the present-day city's finest, aiming to stop the outbreak of escaped prisoners from a maximum security prison, and save a few hostages while at it.



    -----Lightning Fighters-----
    The video speaks for itself:



    -----M-I-A-----
    For those who played Rush'n'Attack or Green Beret, this is the sequel to both games, and it shows. The same mechanics, but now there's hidden areas, and new dangers to avoid. Veterans of the original games are in for a surprise with this one.

    -----MX5000-----
    This is an interesting vertical shooter. Much like Xevious, this also has a bomb-launching button, but in this game, it crawls along the ground, a-la Gradius, and explodes on contact with an enemy. The boss battles have an interesting take that hasn't seen seen again until Star Fox 64: All-range mode. During boss battles, you're not limited to facing and firing upwards. You can face and fire in eight directions.

    -----Simpsons-----
    Not much needs else to be said. It's the TMNT game with upgraded mechanics and replaced with a different trademarked license. But awesome nonetheless.



    -----Solar Assault-----
    Gradius meets Star Fox. I only got to play this in the arcades once at the local Wal-Mart, and was blown away by how fast and smooth the controls were.



    -----X-Men-----
    The only time Konami got to make use of the X-Men license, and they made it memorable. It was the first time I had ever seen a game with two screens, and six players. Unfortunately, I only ever saw the 6-player cabinet at places like Cedar Point in Ohio.



    But hold on: Konami was not always flawless with their arcade titles.......

    Arcade Exceptions:

    -----Monster Maulers-----
    Dear god. Just......no. The gaming concept makes for a refreshing take on the classic 2D-Fighter, but most likely, the chick will be the most-chosen character to play as. Anyone who chooses either of the dudes will have their sexuality SEVERELY-questioned. No doubt about it.



    Konami, what the fuck?!

    -----Mr. Goemon-----
    The origin of the Goemon/Mystical Ninja series, not much can really be said about it. The Super NES game was neat, but I just can't get into the series in general. That's just me, though.



    -----Violent Storm-----
    Typical beat-em-up plot: Girlfriend gets kidnapped, and you bring your friends along to help rescue her. The only problem I have with this game is: Which game are they trying to be a ripoff to?!



        * Large characters: Final Fight.
        * Crudely-detailed characters: Streets of Rage.
        * Special moves: Street Fighter 2.


    This one has 'em all!

    In conclusion: I know Konami has made some great games over the years, but much like Nintendo, they chose to screw us over by letting some of their games rot than allow us to play them on a home console. Fuck the handhelds, these deserve to be played on a TV. Until Konami gets the message, I'm whipping out my Xbox version of MAME, and flipping them the finger.

    Don't let tall buildings tell you what you can and cannot play, and on what.


    (Originally Submitted on June 15, 2008)

    Long before I started blogging here, I commented on what would make for a good WWE Legends game. I'll be re-heating some of the issues somewhere down the line, but mostly, I want to comment on some serious problems concerning wrestling games in general.

    Ironically-enough, Nintendo got the ball rolling with "Pro Wrestling" for the NES (Now available on VC), and Technos followed up with a home port of their "Tag Team Wrestling" arcade game, but everything after that has been either the WWF, or WCW. Wrestlemania, Wrestlemania Challenge, WWF Steel Cage Challenge, Super Wrestlemania, WWF Royal Rumble, WWF Raw, WWF Wrestlemania (Arcade), WWF In Your House, WWF Warzone, WWF Attitude. That was everything Vince McMahon had to offer under the Acclaim label, and you could count them on your fingers.

    I'll excuse every WWF game released under Acclaim/LJN for the simple fact that the NES/SNES/Genesis/GameBoy had their limits, and Acclaim was goofing around in their later years. But when War Zone and Attitude were released for the 32-bit consoles, I was flabbergasted at how little had been improved. Acclaim was using the Mortal Kombat style of performing manuevers (Ex: Tap forward, back, down/up+A to do a suplex), and was using motion-capture to showcase the movements of the WWF talents, as well as the techniques themselves. And granted, the Hardy Boys were curtain-jerker talent at the time, but they went above and beyond by doing all the motion capture themselves, and yet they were never featured in either game. Most of the disc space was used up for the motion capture, video promos of the 12 characters, and FMV cutscenes of a rich woman who wants you to win the world championship so she could invite you into her limo. The rest was for match types, entrance music, movements, and something new called "Create-A-Wrestler". Yes, despite the many flaws of this wrestling game with poor hit-detection, this was the beginning of the customized wrestler feature. WCW tried to mimic that style with WCW Nitro and WCW Thunder, and failed miserably.

    I'm going to skip ahead a bit to the AKI era for the Nintendo 64 and our previous console generation:

    "WCW vs NWO: World Tour" offered four-player gameplay, alternate costumes, a solid grapple/defense system, and was the only time a 5-on-5 fighting-game style elimination match was implemented.

    "WCW vs NWO: Revenge" offered limited customization, but continued to offer more talents to choose from, as well as improved their wrestling engine.

    When THQ brought AKI with them to the WWF brand, "Wrestlemania 2000" improved more on the Create-A-Wrestler feature, a more improved engine, and was the first include a story mode.

    "WWF No Mercy" would be the last AKI-produced game under any official wrestling promotion, included a ladder match, a steel cage, a survival mode, improved Create-a-Wrestler feature, and an improved story mode.

    "Def Jam: Vendetta", despite being a game not licensed to any wrestling promotion, was heavily influenced by the WWF, borrowing many signature maneuvers. Unfortunately, despite the increased processing power of the Gamecube, Playstation 2, and the Xbox, it still could only handle up to four competitors, and it would not improve with "The Fight for New York".

    The Smackdown series borrowed many elements from the AKI series, saw many gradual improvements over the past nine years, but suffered a great deal along the way, mostly due to the combination of licensed wrestlers, the inability to use more than thirty customized wrestlers, and the constant pushing towards mimicking that of the WWE experience.

    This is where I have to draw the line on things.

    It was more than possible to make over 30 custom wrestlers ten years ago with WWF Warzone, all you needed was multiple memory cards. Now that there's mass amounts of hard drive space, there's no excuse.

    Obviously, there's this need to make the WWE games resemble that of the TV programs, but why even go that route? If I wanted to watch storylines unfold, I'd watch WWE TV, so scrap the storylines, and get down to the wrestling. You'll save lots of space that way, and make more room for more wrestlers, more customizable options for your wrestlers, MALE AND FEMALE. What the fuck has happened there? The girls have limited options now? The girls can't participate in storylines? How are they supposed to level up their stats? I can't max out my Samus Aran character without experience points, and those can only be achieved through the storylines.

    If they're going for realism, they failed. If I wanted realism, I wouldn't be playing video games OR watching WWE.

    Why are there fewer moves available every year, while being swapped out for other moves used by current wrestlers? I understand the need to keep with the times, but why does ANYTHING need to be swapped out? Again, scrap the storylines. We just want to jump into the action, we don't need the soap-operafest.

    Seriously: Where is the Kawada-Driver?



    Or the "Six-Seconds Magic"?



    Or neck-crunch portion of Aleksander Karelin's "Russian Neck Drop"?



    Seriously, drop the bra & panties matches, the story modes, and the "superstar" voiceovers, and get those moves back.

    We're in the era of 3ghz processors and 500mhz graphics chips, and yet we still can't get more than eight guys in the ring? More importantly: Where are the giant online wars? I was looking forward to a 16-player hardcore match with multiple refs doing simultaneous pinfall counts and submission verification, and yet there's still only a limit of four?

    With the amount of open-source programmers on the rise, it shouldn't be very difficult to construct a cross-platform wrestling game that's just as good as the AKI games and the entire Smackdown series, and distribute it on Sourceforge. Wrestling gaming should not be regulated just to whatever Vince McMahon shoves down our throats. The possibilities should be LIMITLESS.

     

    ---------------------------------


    Originally posted on July 3, 2008:

     

     


    A special double-shot of the Shoot. I know, it's been awhile. And clearly the fans have been waiting for new blogs, given the comments I've been getting.

    If you haven't relized that I'm being sarcastic, then i guess YOU'VE actually been waiting on new blogs. Either way...

     


    Halloween. A time of witches, bats, vampires, and (if you're anything like me) ceremonies meant to summon the Old Ones so that they may come forth and drive the world to madness. (That which is dead can eternal yaddayaddayadda)

    And since videogames are chock full of scary beasts and and frightful terrors, I figured it was only appropriate to count down the scariest monsters in gaming. They may not have the clout of final bosses and villains, but these are the guys that terrify us and make us fill our pants with excrement. 


    The Gamers Identity in a World of Grown-ups*

    Outside most of our windows and residential zones is a swirling mass of human beings fitted with ties and tea breaks, twisting within its own existence as to create autonomy within the nine to five world. Whether the native tongue is different at home or the food is spicy or bland, a cumulative effort is given to professionally create a manner of speaking and living politically correctly in the workplace as their blazer suits and high heels hold hands. Inside all of this is the gamer, the man or woman who sees Tetris in the cubicle design and has professional looking spreadsheets set to open on the touch of a global hotkey as to mask the newest Total War game. So as the gamer population spans a wider age group with each year, this article will try to examine the psyche of the gamer as we get older, and maybe even how elementary teachers can still feel good about themselves teaching eight year olds after an alien slaughter-fest. It's about not becoming diluted by the transition from Baldur's Gate to Peggle (I know there are a ton of Peggle fans out there, but if you ever put that on a top 5 list of games I will publicly support your slapping in the face, glove or no glove, your choice), it's about self-esteem and the inherent value in games.

    We know ourselves within our groups. We're the ones in the corner laughing about how in Civ 4 Ghandi always becomes Jewish and war-waging as he tears your non-Jewish-non-Indian colony to bits. We know where "I dreamt I was a moron" comes from and the new meme's, no matter how new or how many go-karts are involved. We debate over whether the correct spelling in a fantasy setting is "dwarves" or "dwarfs" and are most definitely not the people whose facebook pictures are taking a picture of themselves in the bathroom without a shirt to show that they, in fact, have a chest and mirrors can reflect flashes while pro-actively demonstrating by always being the one taking the picture that no one in their right mind would actually take that picture for them. And we take pride in this. I won't define us much more because, if you are one of us, you know this stuff. So I won't be like the IMDB pages that consider plot keyword spoilers things such as "death", "beautiful woman" and "male female relationship" (look at the Gone With the Wind page if you don't believe me). However, I will not be able to describe how we can still feel good about ourselves after our grandmother beats us at Wii bowling.

    Before we tackle our refusal to age, let's stay with granny and how games are changing right along with us. We had lots of confidence when we used to walk into Best Buy with a confident nod to every employee with a condescending "I know your job better than you do" look in the eye as we walked around with that one annoying friend that everyone has condemning brick and mortar stores, especially Best Buy, as you scourge the cages for that laptop on clearance and seriously considered having a makeshift sign that says "I'll do it for 30 times better and for less", tape it on yourself, and then stand beside the geek squad employees. Heck, places like that were our zeniths of power, ziggurats of giving your life for Aur or something. But now there's no longer just the people with horrible music taste, but soccer moms in the gaming section, our ground zero. But not to buy games for little Timmy, who in this age probably has an iPhone instead of watching anthropomorphic singing animals like I did growing up, the jerk. They're checking out wii fit or insert newest phenomena here instead, which means that although gaming is becoming more socially acceptable for "cha cha" chai tea drinkers, I still can't play Disgaea in front of my family without feeling strange, much less playing Harvest Moon. "I'm a farmer...I water these onions every day... Dad, why are you leaving?". Instead, it's become as cheap as language in the instant message era, becoming "that's real neat...move your arm like that huh? Ok guys, the burgers are ready."





    10.19.08

    Yo,

    'Fro Recommends: Fable II (2008)



    Name:Fable II

    Genre:Action Role-Playing Game

    Developer:Lionhead Studios

    Publisher:Microsoft Game Studios

    Rating:M for Mature

    Release Date:October 21st, 2008

    Platforms:Xbox 360

    Plot



    Much less of a sequel than the name suggests, the game is set 500 years after the events of its predecessor, still within the same mystic world of Albion. For the first time in the series guns are part of the inventory, and towns have been replaced with larger cities, each watched over by a large castle. Not much to say about the overall narrative arch of the IP, save to say that the world of Albion and all of its side-quests and story missions will be open to the player, who begins as she/he did in the original Fable, a child that eventually grows to old age during his lifetime of adventuring. There is a general story to follow (which amounts to around 12 hours of content if the player rushes through it, according to developers), but will all of the branching quests and mini-games available, designers have hinted at 100 hours of gameplay.

    A highly marketed change to the Fable universe is the inclusion of a dog sidekick, which will follow the player around and aid him in battle and finding objects in cities and along the road. The player will have many options to control the dog as a third party (i.e. pet the pooch and make him happy), but will maintain no direct control over the canine.

    The World of Fable



    The character aging dynamic has been drastically enhanced from the last installment, with the use of skills, magic, and moral choices morphing the characters financial status, morality, weight, and age either positively or negatively depending on the situation. The player has the option of a female or male protagonist, another new addition, with the ability to have the female become impregnated during the game and birth a child. A questionable inclusion in the world of Albion is that side-quests and battles no longer yield money. In order to afford houses for your family and new armor, the player will either take up odd jobs about town (assassin, royal bodyguard, blacksmith, etc.) or gamble in one of the aforementioned mini-games in the taverns. If the character dies at any point in the game, a certain amount of experience will be lost, in exchange for the [heroic struggle], a sudden burst of energy that could cause the hero to either run away from harm or kill the last remaining enemies before dying.

    Like in the original, the player has the option of getting married, including same-sex marriages as in the first title. New to the series is the ability to chose safe/unsafe sex, with the latter having a percentage chance of yielding a child. Also in Fable II is the unfortunate side effect of losing half of your assets to your wife if she divorces you (lead designer Peter Molyneux admits that killing her would be a lot easier in this situation.) If the player does spawn an offspring, the child will grow and mature in real-time, and will reaction to the player's accomplishments and attention (or lack thereof). This means that the child will follow the player's example in terms of their alignment and looks.

    The world of Fable will transform according to the player's role in various missions and decisions, for instance if the character burns down a caravan delivering essential goods to a town, that town may fall into poverty later in the game because of it. Albion has weather effects and seasonal changes for all parts of the year. Each leave on a tree is individually animated, and each person has their own animations as well. In addition, the invisible wall restrictions of fences and bridges have been lifted, giving the player full access to all parts of the world.

    Gameplay