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"Oh god! He's peeing on me!"

 

Back in the day of the classic Hanna-Barbara cartoons there was a simple cartoon "mystery show" simply called Scooby Doo (1969). It entailed a hippie named Shaggy, a ditzy redhead named Daphne, a nerdy sweater wearing girl named Velma, an egotistical preppy/jock who wears an ascot (WHAT THE HECK IS AN ASCOT???) named Freddy and of course a Great Dane (aka a dog) that can talk with a speech impediment named Scooby Doo. I don't think I need to go into detail of the show, only that it was a smash hit and like all successful television shows that survived for over 40 years and is still going they decided (or at least Warner Brothers Pictures decided since they owned the rights to the show) to make a movie based off it!


"Make them work nights!"

 

Hello all and welcome again to SimonW's Movie Reviews! I hope you people have an extra box of chocolates handy because this is a movie that should get your sweet tooth aching for some chocolate! Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory (1971) is a movie based off the 1964 Roald Dahl novel Charlie And The Chocolate Factory.

Despite what people may recall, this film was mostly a half-effort movie because it was originally to help gross value of the Wonka Bars but despite this and the chocolate tasting terrible the movie became an instant hit and cult classic icon.




11.30.08

Yo,

Another review for the campus newspaper, my final freelance project for them before I can get the interview for a permanent Staff Writer position. Wish me luck! With the 650 word limits, I'm going to need it.

Mulled Over: Australia (2008)



Somewhere between the Westerns of the 60s and the Melodramas of the 30s lies Baz Luhrmann’s original vision for “Australia.” The outback native’s fourth film strays far from his close-up happy, slingshot camera to give a sweeping epic view of both the breath-taking Aussie landscape and the epic romance he created for it. Nicole Kidman plays Lady Sarah Ashley, a prim and proper model of British circumstance, who leaves her comfortable life to investigate her husband’s extended stay at their cattle ranch in Northern Australia. There she becomes aware of her husband’s death and her inheritance of almost 2,000 head of cattle on the only land not owned by a vicious beef-market monopoly. She enlists the expertise of the rough-and-tumble Drover, Hugh Jackman, to help herd the cattle down to the wharf in the nearby city in time for a huge deal with the hungry military. As Australia’s rainy season comes, so does the tail-end of World War 2, with the Japanese bombing of the continent splitting the pair, and their adopted Aboriginal child Nullah (adorable newcomer Brandon Walters, the film’s most genuine actor), apart.



The story as a whole is a predictable one, key plot points can be seen miles away with anyone with a romance novel fix. The actors know this, their characters dancing in stereotypical line when appropriate. Kidman is amiable and sweet as the oh-so-proper English girl that finds her rough and unwomanly side in the saddle, and Jackman is incredibly comfortable and magnetic in a role likely envisioned for him by his female fans with the least amount of personal romantic satisfaction. Some subplots are original and absorbing, but we’ve heard this tune before, the script drips with enough sap to make Shirley Temple projectile vomit. As much as that is a bad thing for most films, the tired narrative shines here. Luhrmann’s “Australia” is like an old photo album, more nostalgic than cliché. Although you know what’s going to happen, you can’t help but be engrossed in the characters and world. Kidman and Jackman are noticeably enjoying themselves as they imitate – and flatter - film convention, so much so that watching them throw themselves headfirst into the cheese makes us cringe less when we hear that same line of undying affection for the millionth time in our lives. The entire film falls together this way, the soaring, varied orchestral score and gorgeous zooms over cragged Australian canyons are more than enough to make you forget how CG those cows across the plains are.



However, knowing the film’s plot points may make you realize how long the movie takes to get to them. Like the classic romances it emulates, “Australia,” nears the three-hour mark closer than most audience members will stand, especially with the many subplots; Nullah’s narrative tradition of the Walkabout conflicting with his new mother’s protective wishes, the racist nature of the local Church Missions and their breeding of local Aboriginals for subservience; taking up more than a fair share of what could have easily been edited into a director’s cut, despite their dramatic and heart-wrenching intentions. When the film slows down from cattle wrangling or corrupted meat industry inter-politics, the scenes can drag on until a watch check, and it happens more than anyone with a “300”-sized attention span will be able to take. Those that can weather the dry periods, however, will be glad they did.



Like the continent of its namesake, “Australia” is a frontier of endless visual splendor, and with many stories scattered across its acres. The film’s noticeably long, with enough slowdown to make you wonder how much you really like this first-date of yours, but when we’re galloping alongside 2,000 head of cattle, it feels like “Gone with the Wind” was released yesterday, and we’re still in the era of Big Stars, Big Sets, and Big Stories.



One Word Review:
Gargantuan

One Sentence Review:
“Australia” faithfully recreates the feeling of the corny romances of Classic Hollywood; audiences will have to determine if that’s a good thing.

"The name's Tricker, Tommy Tricker."

 

That's right boys and girls (or should I say men and...older men?), SimonW (ME!) is back with a great old "cult classic" from the days when you had not a care in the world...where young boys (and girls) could relax, sit back and enjoy watching some movies they made their parents rent. One such movie (which I can't find online which is a shame) is Tommy Tricker And The Stamp Traveller (made in 1988). This is one of those golden movies that despite being Canadian (believe me you can hardly tell) and mostly about stamps (whoop-dee-fricking-doo!) somehow a likeable movie for both kids and adults (or at least young adults that remember this movie years ago...like me).

Now, I agree at first it may not look like much but once you see it, I guarantee you will love this movie as much as I did (that is if you can find it...I know it is on DVD).


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