I've held off on presenting this for quite awhile, basically because I wanted to start up a challenge to the gamers to come up with what they thought would make for an original game. Then supposedly I would blow everyone away with mine.
But given recent events, I think it's time to just come out and show what I've got.
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For George Carlin.
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I call this one......"Bad Baby!!"
You play the role of a 47-year-old semi-retarded alcoholic that has an adult-baby fetish.
After an accident drinking tainted breastmilk, this freak manbaby has the oddball superpower to crush his enemies with his sonic manbaby-cry. Secondary weapons would involve a lead rattle, beer bottles painted white to look like baby ba-ba's, toy horsey Shurikens, a touch-activated talking teddy bear, and his own loaded diaper.
The controls can be simplified to the classic TMNT style of jump and attack, but to really take advantage of the extended attack options, a third attack button would let you you use whatever was in your sub-weapon slot at the time, and a fourth would let you use your charged-up sonic manbaby cry. Controlling the Manbaby can be as easy as using either the D-pad or the analog stick.
Levels would include:
* Generic street level with hordes of disgusted citizens and lowly cops on the beat.
* A drunken rage at a local biker bar.
* Brawling with security on the set of the Spring Jerringer Show.
* A drug-induced stroll through a very colorful land of candy (Which turns out to be another generic street level after completing it).
and
* A local gun-toting militia consisting of, surprisingly, rival manbabies with the sole intent of taking you down.
Bonus games would involve getting burped by a very embarassed hooker, attempting to use cuteness to get out of a public indecency arrest, picking the perfect mother to breastfeed with, and scaring real babies at a day-care center by making faces with the analog sticks, face buttons, and the shoulder buttons.
My lack of experience with the Xbox 360 can only leave me to wonder if there's ways of using the x360 headset to send voice commands into the game itself (like Lifeline and the SOCOM games for the PS2). If so, then there could be room for even more insane shit.
There could be a cheat code screen where you only see the Manbaby staring at the player, and the analog sticks control which way his hands rub his fat hairy manboobs (Clicking the analog sticks would squeeze the manboobs), and if you do the proper motions while saying certain phrases or talking a certain way in the headset, you could unlock various cheats. But the method would be so disturbing that, well, why would you WANT to?
The cheat code entry would also be recorded and sent to XBox Live for contest purposes of who can make the funniest and/or most disturbing variation of a cheat code entry.Obviously, you have to reward the winners with something, so give them Microsoft Points. They earned it.....sick fucks.
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:-D
I think we users here at That Guy With the Glasses are lucky in a sort of way to have an intelligent user base. This is most likely due to the fact that we have little or even no middle school users. However the rest of the Internet isn't so lucky. I am of course talking about the oh so intelligent users of You Tube...
Now I just want to start off by saying, I'm not trying to rip off Understanding n00bs, although I will be analyzing some poorly written comments, I'm not trying to cash in on Mike Industries fame, just provide my opinion on the growing idiot epidemic. I'll also be moving past the Internet and looking at the real world epidemic of...
wh3|\| teh s1>1t h1tz teh 4@n: Butchering the English Language
I love to read and write, I'm in an honors English class, and although I'm terrible at spelling and even worse at grammar, I at least try to make what I write look presentable and above all readable. Here's an example of a comment I found for the song "Imagine" by John Lennon:
leave it in a comment, it can be anything from Metal to Classical, and i'm going to tally up the results and make it into a poll dealy, just out of pure boredom
One of the many disaster movies of the '70s, 'Two Minute Warning' rightfully gets forgotten along the dozen upon dozens of bad disaster movies made in the era. The plot is simple enough to follow, a mad gunman guns down anybody who's anybody at a major football game that happens to be at the LA coliseum, while SWAT and Charlton Heston try to deal with the situation. Interesting plot, but is really flat. I mean theres nothing worth mentioning here, except for the really bad moments. There's absolutely nothing to the characters in this one, the characters are the same recycled cliche that populated 70's movies. You got the elderly crook, the obsessed gambler, the wife and husband that are having hard times, flat performances infect almost the entire movie and none are really noteworthy, let alone memorable. Charlton Heston who was by this part of the 70s was really being overused in these kinds of films. The character he plays is an exact copy of other characters he's played in the other disaster films he's been in. His character in this film acts like he's macho-wacho and knows what he is doing even though I didn't pick up on any competent act performed by the character. It's not your fault Charlie, its just bad writing. The only actors that really stand out in the movie are Beau Bridges and John Cassavetes, who oddly for supporting characters possess the most intelligence. Bridge's character is the first character to notice the sniper and keeps telling his wife in the movie what he keeps seeing who keeps dismissing him as seeing things. Cassavete's character is the SWAT team commander who actually steals the show from Heston and is actually responsible for my only favorite scene in this film, when Cassavete's character talks to Heston's character about how the now dead sniper will glorified by friends, relatives, and the media as someone was nice and kind hearted who didn't deserve to die.
The film takes roughly an hour and a half to take off, and even after the then it doesn't really take off. During the first hour and a half nothing really happens, various POV shots follow the sniper from his apartment to the coliseum, a wannabe suspensful moment and a tired 70's cliche to boot. When we first see the unamed/faceless sniper, we the viewer are witness to him randomly taking out an eldery bicyclist who happpens to be riding with his wife (ala very Zodiac Killer-ish). On any other day this wouldn't even bother me except in this case, they show the guy going down and show A WHOLE LOT OF BLOOD on him. Right there its obvious that the film is gonna do two things:
It's gonna glorify random acts of violence.
It will show a helluva alot blood in the process.
Once the still faceless gunman gets into position a TV crew sees the sniper and brings Charlie and co. in, and then basically everything else that follows falls like a line of dominos. A stupid maintenance man foolishly (Note the emphasis on foolishly) tries to deal with the psychopath, Heston silences any chance of ending the crisis peacefully, dumb asses keep spooking the sniper, and the SWAT guys getting themselves into position. After all these shannagans the sniper knows people are on to him. Shortly after the gambler character plays make up with his current flame all hell breaks loose. The sniper easily takes out most of the SWAT guys like its nothing (even though the SWAT guys are supposed to be better than this untrained, amateur sniper), a bunch of the older actors characters bite the dust, blood starting showing (in that bright 1970's saturated style), chaos erupts and the sniper starts picking off people as they flee the coliseum. The fleeing scenes are well done, but drag on for way too long, and are essentially the same scene repeated on a loop. We get it, chaos is gonna go down, but please don't shove this down our throats and drag it on for five plus minutes. The police finally gain some common sense and raid the tower where he's at (Heston wears his sunglasses inside for the entire scene) and bring him out, barely alive and dies almost immediately thereafter, without even giving his motive. This is the only time I give whoever made this piece of crap some balls, and it is especially eerily after all these new shootings that have happened in recent memory.
When The Shit Hits The Fan
