This is an obscure movie that got lost to the ages of 1994, North is the story of a kid of the same name (played by Elijah Wood) who is good at everything he does and does not get the attention he deserves from his busy parents. He decides to sue them and the judge sentences North that he either has 2 months to find new parents or stay with his old ones. This in turn leads North on a crazy adventure in the hopes of finding a family.
"I knew the $64,000 question was fixed. There's no way anybody could know that much about opera!"
Now, people may be confused. It is true there is a song called "Stand By Me" but there is also a movie of the same name that was made in 1986. Stand By Me is deemed a cult classic and is deemed highly popular over the course of the years. Though it is more of a movie for boys to watch it can also be watched by girls that are tomboys or ones who had a crush on any of the four main stars of the movie. Though a light-hearted yet touching coming of age movie people may be surprised to know that it is based off a short story by Stephen King called "The Body". It is said and confirmed that Stephen King thinks that this is one of his favourite adaptations of one of his books.
The story is centred on Gordie Lachance who is a 12 year old freelance writer and a summer he spent in Castle Rock,Oregan in 1959. He and his friends Teddy, Vern and most notably Chris start on a journey to find the body of a kid called Ray Bowers who went missing. The boys have to deal with trains, a junkyard dog named Chomper, leeches and a gang of older boys led by the psychopathic "Ace" Merrill (who is played by Keifer Sutherland). After going through all that trouble they decide to leave the body and head back home.
Before we start this review I want people to understand that this is a Children's movie. Any errors or statements I make are purely for the benefit of those that take a "realistic" view on things (which for the outrageous movies, believe me is tough).
So, let us begin. Max Keeble's Big Move (made in 2001) is made by Walt Disney Pictures (another Disney movie that I felt was better as a Disney Channel Original Movie). Though one can easily get it confused with the zanier channel called Nickelodeon. I seriously think Disney Channel was trying to keep up with Nickelodeon's "gross-out factor" and more "out-there" TV shows and movies. But, that is a whole different subject and this isn't SimonW's Television Channel Reviews. So, on with the movie!
"Adventurers Beware: Do not begin unless you intend to finish."
If you were a kid in 1981 you might have seen a book called Jumanji in your local bookstore. Since I was born after the fact, I had no knowledge of the book and only recall Jumanji, the 1995 movie that is based off the book and stars Robin Williams. As usual, when people think of this film they remember the dangers that face our adventurers including giant wasps, crocodiles, bats, monkeys, a lion and a game-board guzzling pelican! Though despite all this the most horrible thing I saw was Peter getting turned into a monkey! Seriously, that freaked me out when I was younger!
Anyway, the people that were responsible for the special effects (ranging from animatronics to CGI) was Industrial Light & Magic (ILM for short), the people that grew famous after doing the Star Wars Saga. And you have to be in awe after watching this movie, because they were able to create astounding things kids can only dream of if the Jungle came to a modern town. UTTER CHAOS (and we got to love it)!!!
So, think Bill and Ted are done? NO WAY! They come back in a sequel that is as crappy as it is corny called Bill And Ted's Bogus Journey (1991).
The main story is that Bill and Ted are entering some rock concert and have to practice to win. The main villain comes from the future who wants to change it for some unknown reason, maybe to rule the world...What? Expecting a certain Nostalgia Critic joke in there? Well, sorry but I don't steal other people's jokes. Anyway, he makes two robots that look exactly like Bill and Ted on the outside but after pulling back their skin they reveal to be robots. These robots are evil versions of Bill and Ted and kidnap the "babes" from the previous movie and then they kill Bill and Ted, which is one of their main purposes and that is the end of the movie...not really. Bill and Ted "wake up" to find they have died and meet a pale guy called Death (or The Grim Reaper). They run away after using the old "your shoelaces are untied" trick and give him a Melvin...Wait, a WHAT??? Is this a Toxic Avenger reference or something? I don't know what a "Melvin" is but what they gave him was certainly a "Wedgie". After escaping Death they try to take down the evil robots but the robots don't notice as they...lounge around??? How exactly is that evil??? A normal teenager does that...then again they are renditions of Bill and Ted and they are lazy as well.
"She'll be coming round the mountain when she comes, she'll be coming round the mountain when...she...COMES!"
Yes, this is the last line (sung) in the most ridiculous ghost movie I have ever seen called The Haunted Mansion (made in 2003). Made by Walt Disney Pictures, this movie is made after a ride of the same name in Disneyland. So, let me get this straight...they made a movie based off a ride that was made before the movie came out??? Yes, that is basically the concept of where the movie's origins came from. It is rated as a "Fantasy" movie. Despite the fact it has ghosts (I would call this a "kiddie horror" movie if anything else), which people would assume would be supernatural and bordering on the "Science-Fiction" genre. But, no, it is under Fantasy, though who the fuck knows why when there isn't the faint whiff of magic anywhere! What a load of CRAP!
Wow! It's been awhile since I've had time to post something. A combination of school, work, and having nothing to talk about! (Can't play games if I'm busy with school or work) But One thing I always have time for is Rock Band, my absolute favorite game of recent. How does Rock Band 2 match up?
More than likely, you already have a preconception of whether or not you are going to get this game, so most of what I say will make no difference. But I will go ahead and write. What to start with? Unlike everyone else, I'll start with the game, I've been able to play it with both the old hardware and the new hardware so I will get to that part later. And unlike my previous reviews, this will be split into ratings for each item, then a final rating for the overall set. So lets go!
The Game: Rock Band 2, whats different? Not much. You could think of this game as more of an expansion pack to Rock Band 1, but I would think of RB1 as an expansion of RB2. Why? Because if you have RB1 (or can borrow it from a friend) you can transfer most of the songs to the harddrive so you can play in RB2 (provided that you have the internet connection so you can pay the $5 fee.) But what is really different? With gameplay, absolutely nothing. If you played before, you know how to play now. There are tweaks here and there, the biggest difference is how you unlock songs. Since there is no longer a solo career mode, the best way to unlock songs is to create a band and do the Marathon setlists in the Challenges mode. These are 6 songs each but you can stop and save after a song if you can't finish all six songs at once. World Tour mode is back, and you can do it by yourself or with friends, even if they live across the country as you can play online in World Tour now.
Everybody will be singing/shouting this memorable quote/line from...you guessed it, Pete's Dragon (made in 1977). Believe me, I am one of these people who absolutely loves this musical family movie with a passion! But I will delve into the reasons later...
Now, to get past the technical stuff, Pete's Dragon is a Walt Disney movie based off a story (of course!) about an orphan boy named Pete (played by Sean Marshall...who is known for ONLY this movie by the way) and his dragon (gee, wonder how they figure out the name for this?) named Elliott. It is like Who Framed Roger Rabbit? (which was made later in 1988) using excellent style to make live-action characters interact with animated ones. Which, by the way, was a new concept back in the day.
With an all-star cast of Helen Reddy, Shelley Winters, Mickey Rooney, Red Buttons, Tim Dale and Jeff Conaway, it is easy to see that it was taken in high regard back in 1977 and this film had the best actors doing...what exactly? Make fools of them, of course! Though I do have to say one thing, a big hand for the supporting actors that played the townspeople of Passamaquoddy (a small fishing community/town). Quite possibly the most professional stunt-men and comedic actors reside in this town (just look at the entrance of Pete into the town and the pub dancing scene)! Not to mention their personalities, like Miss Taylor (the strict teacher who can't tell a dragon from a wagon) and The Mayor (an important man where things seem to go wrong every time he steps out of the Town Hall). This town is full of un-imaginitive (aside from Nora and Lampie) people that go about their daily lives where nothing interesting happens...that is until Pete arrives and also the main vagabound (villain) Doctor Terminus returns to town.
Horror and Videogames may have a healthy relationship nowadays, but in the first 20 years, attempts to make scary video games were...shaky at best. Attempts to bring horror classics like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre to the Atari 2600 and Friday the 13th to the NES received largely negative receptions. And while games like Castlevania and Splatterhouse would borrow thematic elements from horror movies and novels, the games themselves were pretty standard affairs, lacking any real frights.
The first game that could legitimately claim to be frightening was Infogrames Alone in the Dark, released for PC in 1992. Its use of movie style camera angles, oppressive atmosphere, and surprise attacks made it a critical and commercial success, and it would birth a new genre: survival horror. Unfortunately, the two lackluster sequels that followed meant that this new genre would have to wait a few years to really shine. In 1996, that time would finally come.
Uhhh...Chris? Buddy? I think you need to lay off the 'roids for a while...
In the late 90's, horror gaming was ruled by two franchises, Capcom's Resident Evil, and Konami's Silent Hill, both of which were exclusives for the Sony Playstation, although the N64 would receive a port of Resident Evil 2 in the last legs of its life. Eager to try and capitalize and expand on this genre, Nintendo partnered with Silicon Knights to create their own survival horror game. Though it was originally planned for the Nintendo 64, the project was eventually pushed back to appear on the Gamecube.
Eternal Darkness: Sanity's Requiem was released early in the Gamecube's life on June 24, 2002. The main plot concerned Alexandria Roivas, an art student who is called to the mansion of her grandfather Edward, a clinical psychologist, to look into the cause of his mysterious and violent death. Frustrated by the incompetence of the Rhode Island police force (no offense meant to actual Rhode Islanders), Alex begins to investigate for herself, and eventually discovers her grandfather's secret study, and the Tome of Eternal Darkness. Reading the Tome placed players into the sandals of Pious Augustus, a Roman centurion in 26 bc. While leading his troops in battle, Pious is summoned to an ancient Persian temple, where he is forced to battle the undead monsters within. This served as the games tutorial level, as well as the prologue for the greater story. In the last room of the temple, Pious came across the three Essences of the Ancients, Chattur'gha, Ulyaoth, and Xel'lotath. Choosing one of these essences transformed Pious into an undead mage, who was bound to service of the chosen god. It was this choice that would determine which Ancient the player would ultimately face.
I really, really REALLY don't want to do this review. I know I said I'd do Critters for you all but since I am unable to find it anyplace, decided to review one of the classic werewolf movies of all time...The Howling (1981).
The reason I don't want to do this review is because I have a fear of werewolves. Though I mostly got over that fear because I know it is all movie-made and not real, I still get a fright at the possibly a werewolf will kill me or stalk me from outside or I'll turn into a werewolf and have those pain-staking joints twisted around... *shudders * (Yes, I know it is in a differant movie, but it still freaks me out!)
At any rate, this movie also atoned to my fear of werewolves for different reasons.
The first reason is that they are indestructible unless killed by a silver bullet. But that is well known anyway. But I think what scared me the most was the way that werewolf/man was stalking the main character in this film and how he was set up in a projector room in the shadows, letting our own imaginations run wild. This disturbing sense of imagery made my heart leap up in fear.
Clive Barker is often called one of the modern masters of Horror. With novels like The Books of Blood, and the Hellraiser series of films on his list of accomplishments, its hard to dispute that claim. It seemed only natural then, that with Horror gaming becoming a larger and larger part of the video game market, that Clive Barker would join with DreamWorks Interactive in 2001 to create his first entry into video gaming.
Clive Barker's Undying told the story of Patrick Galloway, an Irishman who, after serving in the First World War, left his native land to wander the world as a paranormal investigator. But a letter from his former CO, the wealthy Jeremiah Covenant, brought Galloway back to Ireland, to investigate strange goings on in the Convenant estate. Upon his arrival, Jeremiah told Patrick of a curse upon the Covenant family, which had claimed Jeremiah's parents as well as all four of his siblings, and with Jeremiah dying of an unknown illness, it seemed he was next. The curse was linked to an occult book and a series of standing stones on the covenant estate. As children, Jeremiah and his siblings had taken one of their father's books, and had unwittingly unleashed a dark evil from the stones known as the Undying King. This evil had come to claim Jeremiah, and it was up to Patrick to put an end to the curse before the Undying King was set loose upon the world. Along the way, Patrick would have to face off against a slew of monstrous undead creatures, as well as the demonic spirits of Jeremiah's four siblings.
"Good enough, good enough, for you it's good enough...it's good enough for me!"
But seriously, is it good enough? After twenty-three years, people have to wonder: "What makes The Goonies a cult classic??" Well, after twenty-three years I can tell you...because it is a great movie!
Made in 1985 (for those who couldn't figure the math), The Goonies is a story made by Steven Spielberg and is directed by Richard Donner. Also, Chris Columbus made the screenplay. And with these three big-time Hollywood hotshots, what would they create? A FREAKING MOVIE ABOUT ASTORIA, THAT'S WHAT!
"H.R. Pufnstuf, who's your friend when things get rough?"
Well, BARNEY!!! No, just kidding. But one has got to wonder since we have a big yellow talking lizard/dinosaur/dragon thing that has a head shaped like a hamburger. I mean, seriously???
Anyway, H.R. Pufnstuf is a children's television series made by Sid and Marty Krofft, this was their first creation and it came during the beginning of the 70's (1969). The show was short-lived, only running for three years (close enough) and only made three seasons until it was cancelled in 1972.
"Hellooo...I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to."
"He's the angriest gamer you ever heard, he's the Angry Nintendo Nerd...He's the Atari-Sega Nerd, he's the Angry Video Game Nerd."
Well, that was enjoyable, wasn't it, folks? These two well-known Internet icons of the reviewing industry have pleased us to no end. And I assume the battle shall come to a close fairly soon. But before that happens, I have constructed this fan viewpoint to explain why we love these dashing figures of pixels that appear on our screen in video format.
Greetings, and welcome back, to Part 2 of our countdown of the Top 11 consoles that, for some reason or another, just weren't big names. If you missed it, go read Part 1, where we count down the 5 consoles that could have made it into the big leagues, if they had just been handled a little better.
This time around, we're counting down the 5 consoles that just plain sucked. Either because they were poorly designed, or because the company who made it screwed the pooch so hard there was nothing for it but to put a bullet in the pooch's head. We also cap our list off with one console that was such an oddity, that you could really go either way with it. Once again, as he was in Part 1, Chip joins me to add his knowledge to my own. Say hello to our readers, Chip.
Welcome back to the Gaming Hall of Fame! For the entire month of October, we will celebrate Horror gaming, from pioneering classics to modern masterpieces, along with three titles as chosen by YOU, the readers, later this month! Our first entry is a game that not only was one of the first 3D games ever made, but also was the first game in the genre of Survival Horror, a full four years before Resident Evil was even a thought in Capcom's mind: Alone in the Dark.
Author's Note: Due to the age of this game and compatibility issues, I was unable to take many screenshots or compose any appreciable video. I have sought out a video, made by the much more technically skilled David Sukljan. All credit goes to him for the video, which does an excellent job of showcasing the gameplay elements of Alone in the Dark. What screenshots I DO have, are my own.)
In the early 90's, gaming was ruled by three major genres: the side scrolling platformer, the point and click adventure, and the arcade shooter. They were all formulas that worked, but despite the winning storytelling of games like Monkey Island, and Sam and Max, games were largely simple affairs, with no real immersion or atmosphere. In 1992, a company called Infogrames would seek the fill this unseen niche, and in doing so, would create an entirely new genre, a genre that would eventually be called Survival Horror.
In the mid to late 1990's, video games were in the middle of a transitional period. With the popularity of the Super Nintendo and Sega Genesis (Megadrive if you lived outside of the US) waning, the Nintendo 64 just around the corner, and the Playstation having been on shelves since 1994, it was clear that the 32 and 64 bit age was about to take off. While the 64 bit N64 would be the most powerful console on the market until the release of Sega's Dreamcast, it would be Sony's Playstation that would rule the throne of the fifth console generation.
In 1993, a year before the release of the Playstation, a six man development team from Core Design of Europe, led by Toby Gard, partnered with Eidos Intereactive, and began work on a three dimensional action platforming game that was designed to take full advantage of the hardware available at the time. Their intent was to create a game based on exploration, puzzle solving and platforming in a fully immersive 3d environment. The initial protagonist was essentially a male Indiana Jones clone. When this wasn't accepted by the Core higher ups, Gard created the initial design for a hardened English woman named Lara Croft. Though the initial design work was done on Sega Saturn development kits, Tomb Raider was released in 1996 for the Saturn, Playstation and PC.
Caught this a few weeks ago, before the big move West. Thought I'd take some time as I watch Dogma with my roommate to jot down a couple of thoughts on the latest from the Apatow camp.
Mulled Over: Pineapple Express (2008)
For the first time in a bit over a year, I had doubts about a Judd Apatow film. It seemed a set case, the greatest benefactor of Judd's fame getting a bit big for his drawers and suddenly believing he could be a conceivable action film star. Its happened before, and unless cinema as a whole is made irrelevant soon, it'll happen again. My doubt was the main reason for putting off seeing this film for so long, but the return of a long absent friend and an afternoon with nothing to do proved enough for me to plop down the green for a ticket.
Our story follows two stoners, huge surprise, Dale Denton (Seth Rogen) a process server and his dealer Saul Silver (James Franco). After Dale pulls to the side of the road to sample some of the titular brand of weed and witnesses a murder, a chase ensues between the pothead duo and the murder's thugs across a town full of action movie cliches. Amongst those chasing them is Ted Jones, the drug dealer who shot the gun (a surprisingly funny Gary Cole) and Carol Braizer, a policewoman on his payroll (Rosie Perez, neither impressive nor terrible, just loud).
In conjunction with the drug dealer's main posse are the hired guns Matheson and Budlofsky (a surprisingly engaging Craig Robinson and the most tragically underused actor in Apatow's menagerie, Kevin Corrigan.) Later attaching himself to Dale's posse after a few hilariously painful fight scenes is Saul's supplier Red (Danny R. McBride, who returns from his role on Tropic Thunder as the funniest side character in the film.) What follows is a damn funny movie, but a surprisingly competent action flick, effects and stunts and all.
The humor is the usual Apatow shtick of dialogue-ridden, natural feeling scenes of random and somewhat ridiculous jokes, and it works again here. The inclusion of Franco for the first major time was a welcome change, he fits the dazed and slothfully archetype of the stoner to a t, with enough charm and wit left over from his delivery and physicality to truly sap a couple of emotional moments from you. Seth Rogen is his usual slubby self, with high-school age girlfriend (Amber Heard, of no particular staying power) to pine over giving him an every-man feel without too much of a sappy aftertaste.
The action aspects of the film are what really elevates this film above the usual level of summer comedy. It comes a bit out of nowhere, this sense of professionalism and smoothness to their choreography and style. It comes to us a way into the film, with the two paranoid stoners paying their first visit to Red after spending the night in the woods post-murder witnessing. Dale initiates the fight with a couple of shoves, nothing to rave about, neither are Red's first comebacks. Its when Franco gets into the jam, and the shoves become full fledged pushes into the wall, squip effects and all, when the eyebrows begin to raise.
Blood effects are grimace-inducing, punches are thrown with weight and finesse, and it actually feels, at times, like a scene out of a buddy cop movie ala the 1980s comedy pairings of Walter Hill and Richard Donner. For the larger stunts, like the chase scene made famous in the trailer (where Franco's character gets his foot stuck in the windshield) and a few combat shots, the seams show more than most action films of this generation. No, sugar glass isn't noticeably frosted or no rigs are visible, but it doesn't take much to realize that Red's body isn't really there when Saul Silver is whacking below the camera line with a dust buster. But its part of the experience of the film that we see these little blips of amateurism. It makes us feel like we are part of the friend-base of the crew, watching and laughing at our pals messing around on screen. And that feeling never goes away.
The film, for all of its hilarity, is not without its faults. Fortunately, the lesser qualities of the film go down like smooth wine compared to other comedies coming out these days (the careers of Will Ferrell and Steve Carell come to mind.) The conversation scenes can become redundant, with points made repeatedly, and some of the characterization choices, like Carol's vocal pitch or Robinson's more flamboyant moments, take you out of the scene with a slight wince, but that's pretty much all the criticism that can be leveled at the film without going into the love-him/hate-him opinion of the Apatow crew themselves.
Rogen and Apatow have raised their bar again, making their work shine for the effort. The humor we have come to love remains intact, with the use of Franco and most of the supporting cast coming off as wonderful casting decisions. The action was much better than anyone following the crew's previous work could predict, and executed to gloriously demented physical comedy. What little their is to complain about is minuscule nitpicks, and hardly ever get in the way of the constant feeling of inclusive fun that permeates nearly every moment of Pineapple Express. Like the substance impetus for the film's events, Express is a film you can check out whenever the need to laugh and zone comes up. That, and the film is made even better with snacks.
One Sentence Review: Rogen and crew successfully capture the action-comedy feelings of old, updated with relevant humor and believable characters.
When we last left our heroes, Optimus had kicked some serious butt, but unfortunately the bucket as well. The Matrix of Leadership had been passed on to the Earth Autobot leader, Ultra-Magnus, and there was much grieving all around. The Autobots were going through their darkest of hours.
But what about the Decepticons?
When we left THEM last they'd been forced to retreat after Megatron had been injured just as badly as Optimus. (But still didn't die for some reason.)
Reviews
This time around, we're counting down the 5 consoles that just plain sucked. Either because they were poorly designed, or because the company who made it screwed the pooch so hard there was nothing for it but to put a bullet in the pooch's head. We also cap our list off with one console that was such an oddity, that you could really go either way with it. Once again, as he was in Part 1, Chip joins me to add his knowledge to my own. Say hello to our readers, Chip.
