GENERIC INFO: GameSpot username: Allaroundfan_-1, Total Gaming Network/Youtube username: randomduded12 * YOU WILL GET A SENSE OF DÉJÀ VU. Please note that all insults are just poor jokes and as such do not deserve to be commented upon if you disagree with them, but please do comment upon anything else you think I missed or disagree with me on (BTW, I only covered the major sections of the game because frankly there are too many parts and the majority of what I didn't cover only disappointed me further). CAPITAL TEXT signifies shouting, sarcasm, or something else significant like humor.*
My information: My brawl fc is 0087-1981-1001 Call me rmdud or rdude And my Wii fc is 4835 1667 2054 0547 call me saberwolf My MarioKart Wii fc is 3093-9971-6105 Call me srensren PM me with your code, if you would like to play sometime.
If you are one of the few people left who has never heard of Nintendo's MarioKart series, you probably need to leave your house right NOW. I would like to start this planned weekly series of reviews by explaining what exactly I am going to do. I am going to review every game I own now or that I have owned/rented recently enough to remember the game more than just, "oh, so I press that button to shoot".
Rating scale: worst to best
associated with AAARGH F D C B A YESSS! Associated with
Randomduded12 Review #3- MarioKart Wii If you own a Nintendo Wii, you have no doubt been bugged by your friends or neighborhood kids to purchase this game. MarioKart is like a religion to some Nintendo fan boys, but to me it is more or less the most casual, yet competitive racing game I own. This game revolves around controlling your kart while picking up item boxes to attack your opponents; you need to drive carefully, but somewhat recklessly to win most of the time. There are 4 control modes that all work well: the GameCube controller, Classic, nunchuk wiimote combo, and the infamous wiimote steering wheel. All the controller types can be used throughout the whole experience that is MarioKart (keep in mind though how much money could be saved from not using batteries with your gaming experience, so play with the optimal controller: the GameCube controller! Note, the GameCube controller actually plays pretty awkwardly on this game (the tricks function is located upon the d-pad, so it is hard to do tricks actively, without some weird hand arrangements), so try the other options too, and pick the one that fits you best! (DÉJÀ VU yet?)
Generic List Time!!1 (IMPROPER GRAMMAR/Punctuation error: Does Not Compute (infinite loop time!!)): Characters: 26 including mii variants Stages: 32 Same # as MarioKart DS Karts/Bikes: I have no idea, go look it up. EDIT: 36 total Karts/Bikes. It is based on weight class though, so there are fewer original Karts and more standard vehicles. Another loss as MarioKart DS had some great original Karts and allowed all 36 Karts to everyone after beating the game. Modes: Grand Prix (Solely single player now. LAME Nintendo), Vs (online/off multiple or solo), Battle (coin battle or balloon battle, multiple or solo), Time Trials (online ghosts/offline, leader boards for pretty much everything) Online Wi-Fi, License settings, rules, and the MarioKart Channel. If I missed any, go look at them yourselves, you lazy bastards.
EDIT: ABOVE picture will not show, so I will attach. YouTube is comprised of fan boys, who cannot accept another person's opinion should it disagree with theirs, so my comments with my OPINIONS and Points will go into more constructive websites such as TGN. Lilkidd88 however, took the time to point out some flaws within my argument, but they too are partially wrong at least in their knowledge of the game and what I meant by my comments.
MARIOKART OVERVIEW OK, MarioKart has been a staple of each Nintendo system since the Super Nintendo. There are 8 games considered in the MarioKart series, but two are arcade only, so I've never seen any of those. The most recent console MarioKart was the DS version, which added online play to the same standard formula laid down by its predecessors. It was revolutionary for the series, but at the same time cut back on certain features that appealed to me. It took away my favorite multiplayer mode, Bob-omb Battle. This mode only exists within the GameCube edition: MarioKart DoubleDash. DoubleDash also had another multiplayer mode called Shine Race, but that has been replaced by Coin Battle now. Bob-omb Battle was the reason I played DoubleDash for longer than a couple of days. It was pure outrageous fun with mayhem and colorful explosions engulfing you and your opponents. However, this title was also plagued by a problem that many other games had: it required other players than you. There were no CPUs that you could play whenever you wanted except in racing, so this game became a sporadic title to play only when my friends were around. MarioKart Wii follows in the footsteps of its handheld brethren, offering CPU battles and online modes that usually shine. However, it also neglected to include my favorite multiplayer mode, so no fun for me. YIPPPPEEEE!
Past MarioKart games have included the option to control items, but the controls for this are incredibly vague. What does a strategic or aggressive setting mean? Why not allow the player to pick and choose which item they wanted similarly to Super Smash Brothers? This choice is a nice touch, but I never figured out which items were included with which option because I did not want to waste my time looking it up or experimenting with it until I could prove that this item was not included. A little more explanation here would be nice, but I have no doubt it is on the Internet somewhere.
OFFLINE/LOCAL MODES The Grand prix has usually been an option for multiple players to participate in, but in MarioKart Wii, this feature is cut. Instead they make you race for x amount of times before saying this person won or this team won. These modes all work, but I quickly tired of them before I got anywhere near completing the game.
If you are playing this offline, the CPU can kick your *** even when on Normal difficulty (ANECODTE TIME: One fine, glorious day, a group of friends came over to the magical land of good games. In this land, they decided to play MarioKart Wii. Now, this was their first time playing this game and they had rarely played previous incarnations, but they figured how bad could it be? EPIC FAIL bad. They played a few games that allowed them to adjust to the controls, but dove head first into the maelstrom of evil that is Team Battle mode. Naturally they wanted to start off on the same team, so they entered their first match. They were quickly shamed, with a results score of 25 to 12. THEIR CPU TEAMMATES GOT 0 POINTS WHILE TWO OPPONENT CPUS GOT 11 PTS APIECE. WTF IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE, HUH?????? Nintendo, I don't understand what is wrong with you (I know their already on shrooms (MUSHROOM KINGDOM??? LOL), but this is EPIC FAIL messed up).). Offline/local modes get a C-, they aren't anything special, but they work and they all include CPUs now, so you no longer have to wait for friends, so for all the readers without any friends (That's all of you) can still enjoy the game.
ONLINE MODES One highlight many people give is the online. It's free, it works, and it is typically fun. However, many times people will disconnect randomly or sometime your internet will screw up too. This will vary, but you will run into this problem as well as some slight lag that can cause you to screw up, but not nearly as bad as lag in Super Smash Brothers. One thing that surprised me was an online challenge/tournament mode that reminds me of MarioKart DS's challenge mode, which was incredibly fun and challenging, so this was an awesome plus. Joining matches is easy and fast, but then you have to wait until the current round is over, so the wait can last longer than a couple of minutes, but it isn't too boring. There is also the option to download ghosts of other player's time trials, which is more fun than you would suspect, but eventually most people will tire of this mode. The battles are hectic and interesting, but you cannot battle on your own. YOU HAVE TO PLAY ON TEAMS TO BATTLE. Nintendo offers so much leeway regarding the other modes, but it enforces this? I was already disappointed by the lack of Bob-omb battle, but this requirement pretty much put me off battle mode entirely. DAMN YOU NINTENDO! Typically, your team will comprise idiots and the one skilled player who has to provide for the retarded nimrods that play this game. This isn't Nintendo's fault, so I give the useful and fun online a B+.
PROBLEMS/OPINIONS (DAMN, there are tons. A lot of these are opinions though. There are also repetitions of previously stated issues)
You cannot play with two people in a kart, this was another reason why DoubleDash is one of my favorite MarioKarts. It allowed for extra strategy, some great Co-op play, and more fun multiplayer battles. Neglecting Bob-omb battle, many people won't care about this, but that was my favorite part of the old MarioKarts. Took out the small span of invincibility that prevented you from being put into a combo by repeated attacks from your opponents (Combos are a horrible idea in a racing game, Nintendo). You can literally go from 1st to Last place from an evil combo or just the rubber banding AI. Rubber banding AI is AI that will essentially cheat, so it can recover perfectly from a combo and return to 1st place with the snap of a finger, the AI is rarely far behind you, so this problem plagues the whole game. Disconnects still occur for everyone, but at least they occur far less often (should this be a plus or minus? PARADOX TIME!!!!!). Speaking of Paradoxes, the opening intro makes no f'ing sense. Mario and Luigi are apparently playing MarioKart Wii with two Wii Wheels. WTF, this isn't possible and it just made me cringe. The intro team must have had only a day or two to put this together, but I somehow understand their original intent. They wanted to catch the spirit of two friends/brothers playing the game competitively. Stick to humans for the cheesy Wii commercials/intros, Nintendo or just make a game montage of epic moments. This was just bad.
Items, need more information on the item choices or a Super Smash Bros. style option. Speaking of Smash bros., this game also doesn't include any way to alter your controls, so this takes away from the game if you dislike placement of a certain function such as the tricks located on the d-pad on the GameCube controller. Some classic items were taken out (ghost boo, Feather still isn't back, also many of Double Dash's special items don't make a comeback.) Characters from previous games are no longer included even though they were fairly interesting. To unlock everything, there is typically only one way to do so, now Smash Bros. had the decency to include multiple options, so why not MarioKart? Certain items follow you and lead to your doom. Ex. Blue shells will strike during midair jumps and will cause you to fall to the ground, thus losing your lead and having to collect any items again. The item placement is incredibly unfair, in first place the probabilities for anything useful are incredibly low, so you are stuck with bananas , just one green shell, etc.. Allow me to defend my title against the behemoths with Bullet Bills and Blue Shells, then I will respect you Sir Nintendo. Online players can be dumber than stumps or the pinnacle of douchebaggery. The voice acting reminds me vaguely of a sexual experience with certain characters. (Daisy in particular sounds like she is COMING to fruition every time she gets a boost or does a trick. SMIRK- LOLLLLL.) Voice acting that will repeat hundreds of thousands of times will torture your head continuously until you explode grey matter all over your Wii. The Wii motion sensor will not always recognize your turns or may overcompensate, especially if you are farther away. BATTERIES, this is a problem with all the systems though, so how can I really complain. I would have loved replays similar to Brawl only with an extended time limit, but the game is fine without it.
FIXES/GOOD ASPECTS Snaking (repeatedly boosting to gain the lead, think constantly getting a mini turbo, so you win) has become much harder to do, so this is a definite plus. Albeit, some people enjoyed snaking, so this would be a minus for them. The new boost system is well designed. Two kinds of vehicles: karts and bikes (new vehicles are always a plus). Two modes of control for each bike/Kart (automatic and manual: latter for more advanced player, first for players who do not want to worry about controlling turbos and just want to race without extra distractions). Good amount of tracks, characters, items, online options, tricks, etc. In matches between just a few players, the items lose their edge because Nintendo wisely chose to limit the amount of aggressive items and focus on providing a fair and fun experience. Tricks are fun and usually simple to pull off. Uses Miis from your Wii inside certain tracks, which is disconcerting at first, but interesting to see your friends willfully try to pummel you. Online WORKS. A ton of retro tracks and new tracks, all are pretty well designed and fun for a while. More tracks for battle mode, but they didn't bring back some of my favorite older battlegrounds and some of the new levels annoy me, so I'll put this as a neutral. LEADERBOARDS, this finally proves to me that Nintendo is keeping pace with their competitors.
SCORE I've gone on long enough, MarioKart Wii gets a B- for the newcomers to the franchise, but for the veterans I give the game a C. Newcomers will readily accept many flaws with the game, but veterans have already played and experienced some of the best racing the series had to offer, so our expectations are a little higher. Besides, this game seems to stagnate because it takes small steps forward while eliminating many things that made the series great and original in the first place. The main reason to buy this game is online, so if you don't have online don't put this high on your priority list. Either way, check out the game and I guarantee you will find something you like about it. Nintendo's head has begun the torturous retraction from their ***. LOL.
Next review: God Of War for the PS2. I've decided not to poll people to decide which review to do as I only received one vote and that was after the deadline was up. I will continue to poll for your favorite game, etc. Thank you for reading this and please subscribe to me! NOM NOM NOW!
Super Smash Bros Brawl review/ Smash Bros retrospective
GENERIC INFORMATION GameSpot username: Allaroundfan_-1, Total Gaming Network/Youtube username: randomduded12 * Please note that all insults are just poor jokes and as such do not deserve to be commented upon if you disagree with them, but please do comment upon anything else you think I missed or disagree with me on (BTW, I only covered the major sections of the game because frankly there are too many parts and the majority of what I didn't cover only disappointed me further (except the music, that pretty much could not have been better. )) *
My information: My brawl fc is 0087-1981-1001 Call me rmdud or rdude and my Wii fc is 4835 1667 2054 0547 call me saberwolf PM me with your code, if you would like to play sometime.
If you are one of the few people left who has never heard of Nintendo's Super Smash Brothers series, you probably need to leave your house right NOW. I would like to start this planned weekly series of reviews by explaining what exactly I am going to do. I am going to review every game I own now or that I have owned/rented recently enough to remember the game more than just, "oh, so I press that button to shoot".
Rating scale: worst to best AAARGH associated with : F D C B A YESSS! Associated with
Randomduded12 Review #1- Super Smash Brothers If you own a Nintendo Wii, you have no doubt been bugged by your friends or neighborhood kids to purchase this game. Super Smash Brothers is like a religion to some Nintendo fan boys, but to me it is more or less the most casual, yet hardcore fighting game I own. This game revolves around timing, you need to pick attacks that will hit your enemy, but also give you enough time to evade if necessary. There are 4 control modes, but to be honest only three options work really well: the GameCube controller, Classic, and nunchuk wiimote combo. All the controller types can be used throughout the whole experience that is Smash Bros. (keep in mind though how much money could be saved from not using batteries with your gaming experience, so play with the optimal controller: the GameCube controller!)
Generic List Time!!1 (IMPROPER GRAMMAR/Punctuation error: Does Not Compute (infinite loop time!!)): Characters: 35 Stages: 41 + user created stages Stickers: 700 Trophies: 544
Modes: Solo (can also be co op) consists of Stadium minigames(home run contest, target test-5 difficulties, boss battles, multi man brawl), Subspace Emissary, Collection options- stickers, trophies, coin launcher, Masterpieces ( (Note, my friend and I came up with an idea similar to this to be included with Brawl, but it didn't suck. It was essentially a collection of Brawl and a full background game from each character (ex. Mario- Super Mario world), but it would have cost far more. epic sad ) a poorly thought out idea where they think 40 seconds of Donkey Kong will cause you to salivate all over yourself and purchase a copy from the virtual console. Nintendo you are officially comprised of rtards), Brawl, Online, Options, and blah blah blah. If you want to see the rest, go look at them yourselves, you lazy bastards.
SOLO MODES/STORY The main game is called the Subspace Emissary and revolves around an extremely farfetched plot that includes probably the greatest amalgamation of Nintendo characters excluding fan boy rpgs. The main story lasts around 10 hours if you just want to beat it and get all the various characters, but for the hardcore gamers, there are secrets placed throughout every level of the game. The secrets vary from trophies, stickers, new characters, or just another crown meaning you got a little closer to 100% completion. Some new additions are bosses (other than master Hand or Crazy Hand), so this is a new feature to the franchise. They are well-designed, fun to fight, have a set pattern, and just in general great. BTW, they also drop stickers or a trophy every time you kill them, so they are an easy source for collection. (The controls work well, but at the same time do not. It doesn't pretend to be a Mario platforming game, but it wants to play like one just with extra fighting tacked on. This kind of weakens the story mode for me, but the controls do work) the story proceeds along pretty well, until you get to about the last 4 levels. These last 4 levels rank among the worst things Smash Bros has ever done to me. They make you essentially play through the whole goddamn game again.
Another thing the game did that bugged me, was take away any items I was carrying when I entered a door to another section of a level in the Subspace Emissary. I worked hard to get that silly little trophy stand, but you are going to just take it away? WTH Nintendo, is it really that hard to allow a player to keep their items? The answer, no, Nintendo was just being lazy as hell. Other than this serious blight on the fun factor for adventure mode, the story serves its purpose, never exceeding expectations except for the quality of the cinematics, but never getting in the way either. Don't expect much dialogue (think Zelda without text). Some cool character and enemy designs remind me vaguely of Kingdom Hearts's heartless, but they are pretty standard enemies with little distinguishing them from other game minions (one weird extra Sora threw in was the enemies will have different facial expressions every time you turn your Wii on, so see if you can spot them all!). The story is enjoyable the first or maybe even second run through if you care to serve as Nintendo's whore just to get a few unnecessary alternate cinematics, more stickers/trophies, or just to use your fan boy mouth to please your overlord. I give the story mode and the returning extra single player/co op player features such as home run contest or target smash and the new Boss Battles mode a B- because frankly they just don't retain any sense of fun for me after the first run through and making me play the game twice just to beat it once is a douche move Nintendo.
MINIGAMES/COLLECTION ELEMENTS The same applies to the minigames, they last for a while, but eventually most people will abandon it in favor of brawling. (There are people who will dedicate themselves to mastering this mode and it is an interesting skill based platform, but the five levels are the same for every character, so technically the last two Smash Bros. games had more unique stages. Each character had their own set up and best strategy, but Nintendo decided to cut corners here and standardize the levels.) Nevertheless, to collect everything you have to go through with every character in each mode. Nintendo's new slogan- Wii are douchtastic! I only went through trying to get more stickers/trophies because yes, I am a collector (no, I was not going to say Nintendo's whore because if anything, I am the overlord not Nintendo).
The extras within Brawl can take freaking forever to unlock, so do not expect immediate completion of the game. This is my most played game on the Wii with around 250 hours put in on online matches, local matches, and story mode, but I am still missing some of the collection. However, Nintendo did include a couple ways to help you, namely golden hammers and coins. You can use hammers to unlock tricky challenges like collect all freaking 700 stickers (please note that Nintendo in their omniscience decided to prevent certain challenges from unlocking with hammers for example Intense boss Battles. Nice going Nintendo, making a perfectly good compromise between hardcore and beginning gamers as useless as **** on a boar hog (lol CaptainKirk) I managed to beat this because I rock, but the majority of my friends who play the game cannot. They want to complete the game too, you self-***ing conglomerate that need to take its head out of its ***. ). In addition, you can use coins to earn new trophies and stickers for yourself in the revamped coin launcher. The original coin game involved simply putting a coin into a virtual trophy dispenser that would release new trophies based on probability determined by how much money you put into the machine. The new one allows the player to aim at whatever they want, but also puts the probability at freaking excessively low, and leaves the player in a quasi arcade style shooter. While this is indeed more fun, the experience quickly becomes more monotonous than previous incarnations because of the extended periods necessary to earn all the trophies and stickers. I have literally gone through thousands of coins trying to find one new trophy or sticker, but when I left the game all I received were another freaking 100 duplicates to trophies and stickers I already had. Same with the possible exploit, where you design a stage to get extra stickers and trophies. I have played battles on those levels for 1 hour just to get stickers, but all I got were repeats. This is a problem Nintendo, FIX. Collection elements get an AAARGH to a B ( this depends on the reader and you do not have to pursue completion of everything to enjoy this game, so try them, but remember I warned you). In my opinion, they were exceedingly annoying or boring, so only invest time in this if you are willing to deal with the bugs that Nintendo has left in.
CHARACTER ROSTER/STAGE DESIGNER Speaking of unnecessary stuff Sora put in, who honestly cares about half of the characters that they added to the roster? I personally do not, because I would rather have had a character creation system that would allow me to create any obscure character I wanted from Pac Man to Master Chief or even just a better stage designer. Now, understand this, I am not bashing new characters, but I would prefer characters I am actually interested in instead of ROB, Pit, or a *changed* Ganondorf that still leaves his sword behind *coughs obscenely loud- rtard*. I typically pick characters whose games I have played, so people like Marth, Mario, Link, Fox, Kirby <('-'<), really anyone as the concepts apply to all the characters, but I prefer certain fighting styles to others. Maybe they could have taken out the excess collection elements and put in the aforementioned character creation system or improved upon the stage designer with the reopened memory. The stage designer works, but can cause the CPU AI to fail miserably on certain types of stages. It is user friendly, but it only interested me after I learned about a hack that allowed you to put two pieces in conjunction allowing for infinitely more interesting designs and fun stages, but again this is an unofficial hack, so no props to Nintendo for this. Therefore, the character roster and stage designer get a B because it did provide me with a sense of customization or fun that other modern fighters typically neglect, but there are still problems that should be fixed.
*Finally, I do not agree with how Final destination was designed. The curves on the outside of the stage have caused many unintentional suicides and for a neutral stage (one that doesn't try to attack you (I also think that too many of the stages include gimmicks that try to attack you, there should be a bigger base of neutral stages instead. One example: I don't like being killed by a lion tamer in Flat Zone 2 simply because my enemy managed to knock me back into one of them, they decided to play a professional match of tennis with me before serving an ace out of the court. )) this makes the ledges unfair to certain characters. Most of the stages are well designed and fun, but some just aren't. Good thing there is still a stage choice function, so you can say no stages I don't like for random.*
ITEMS However, if there is one thing that Smash Bros has always dominated, it lies with item usage and customization. In Brawl, items are plentiful and varied, but at the same time, they took out some old favorites (red shells, etc.) to make room for newer items (golden hammers, smash balls, etc.). These new items are the one aspect of the game that I think has actually improved significantly upon the predecessors, even though many people claim they break competitive play (yes, they do, but so what), so I give this section a YESSSS! Besides, if you don't like items, you can turn them off or just set which items you want on. One of the greatest concepts ever in anything. EVERRRRR! Never playing this game with items is blasphemy. Simply put, items make the game more than good. It's great!!! (Did anyone get that reference?)
COMBAT/ ONLINE MODES The backbone of a fighting game. In brawl, the combat has been improved slightly, but some problems have come to my attention. You can now air dodge repeatedly which is nice, you cannot wave dash without altering the game through the use of a USB device/ cheat device which is also pretty good because the hackers can use their cheats against other hackers online while the fair gamers will normal game play to beat their opponent to a pulp (however, I'm sure some **** will try to play against unsuspecting players with their cheats turned on, and thus break the game of all fairness), the overabundance of glitches, TRIPPPPPPPPINGGGGG (Can I kill you person who thought of this horribly retarded idea? Small anecdote: I once cared enough to try to get a no hit run of the Boss Battles mode on Intense, then I discovered tripping would ruin a thus far perfect run and force me to start all over again. I immediately threw away my controller in disgust and have not returned to Boss Battles since completing the mode with all the characters), and the online play. The first two help this section tremendously, but the glitches that are typically permitted in official tourneys can make the game incredibly unfun to new players. There are a variety of inescapable glitches that just do not favor beginning players because they are susceptible to falling into a trap. Ex. DDD's chain throw or the fact that you can try to hit two players when they are trapped in a throw, but you will typically just hit the one closer to you, even if everyone is playing a free for all. Online is in shambles.
Matches take forever to load and connect with other players, there is typically lag, you can try to connect online and be given a crappy message along the lines of "Wii sucks, so try again until our poor online decides to ante up for once" Literally, they say error with the internet and please try again (this occurs pretty sporadically, but it has happened at least 20+ times in the span that I have tried to play the game online, so, yep it's a major problem I would say, but it has improved over time thanks to more servers by Nintendo. OMG, Nintendo did something right????? *+ 5 Awesome PTs*) you cannot customize matches with random people (it seems as though the match takes one player's settings and applies it to all the other players, so hopefully your settings will come up too. However, the friend code applies here. With an FC, you can customize and play modes other than brawl such as Home Run Contest or Multi man melee with your friends. One major disappointment though is the lack of the ability to play the story mode online co-op. This would have been intelligent and fun, but no Nintendo neglected this as well),
you can only record 3 minutes of a fight (online or off) (Anecdote time: when I was at a friend's house, we were playing some Brawl and something EPIC occurred. Our match started off as a 4 player free for all, but evolved into a tense battle between two players. One of the deceased players was Snake, and in his wisdom, he chose to place a detonation mine before dying. Now, let's proceed back to the tense match between my two other friends. They were neck to neck in damage, and it seemed as though victory could go to any side. Then, Snake's mines exploded because after a certain amount of time of unuse, they tend to do that. Unluckily for one of the surviving players, he was standing on top of this spot and immediately flew out of the screen faster than Team Rocket does in Pokémon. WE WERE FLABBERGASTED. It was epic and hilarious at the same time, so naturally we went to try to save the replay. Guess what. The match was too long to save on the Wii or even a memory card that had multiples of the wii's space. Now, this has more to do with the Wii's lack of memory, but this just plain made me angry. The best moments typically come after three minutes, but there is no way to record this without a camera/recording device set up. I just wish the time for recording could be extended, other than that, this mode is fantastic), and just plain shocks me when they took so much extra time to develop these modes (Brawl was delayed for about a year people and they specifically mentioned they would try to improve upon these modes). In addition, there seems to be a glitch with shielding where you can still get hurt when shielding, perhaps it is graphical error, but it is still a glitch that weakens combat.
*ADDED AT A LATER TIME: One more problem that has harped upon my mind about Brawl is how some moves will cause suicide, but others are prevented. Ex. Ike's side b will only travel to the edge of a stage, so he can only die on stages that have continuous ground such as Flat Zone 2. However, Fox/falco/wolf's side b or up b can easily cause an unintentional suicide. I think this is more of an opinion, but I would prefer that my move had the same limitations as Ike's side b. At least this way, some deaths and face (honor) could be saved.
Online wait times are excessive and on the with anyone modes, it can reset back to 70 seconds when a new person joins your party. At least with the team battle mode, you know how long you have to wait. People are not always on the Wii, but they leave themselves in the game, so their character will still be around to provide cheap kills for all the douche bags on the internet. I want a patch Nintendo, one that fixes our ****ty online, but alas, this is just a chimerical dream.*
Let's get a couple things straight, the combat is still riotously fun, fast, challenging, intricate, and well designed. The online works, it's free, more than a couple of modes online, and some interesting options such as the Smash Service (Nintendo sends you cool videos/photos/stages from other Brawl players) make the online worthwhile, just buggy. I just wish we could keep some of those videos, photos, or stages because some are incredibly well made and intricate, and others are just plain cool. For these reasons combat and online play receive a B+.
RANKINGS/SCORES/NOTABLE THINGS * One thing that I forgot to mention was the ability to unlock characters/stages through multiple methods of game play. This idea works well because not everyone will want to play the single player, but they want the characters so, as they battle, they will still unlock the most important aspects of Brawl. So, nice job Nintendo. Another great option is the ability to change the controls to whatever you want, so you can truly feel comfortable. There is one drawback, you will have to bring your profile (option with Wii remote controls only) over to a friend's house if you want to keep the same controls in local matches. Otherwise, you have to deal with your controls or reset them again. These two options are great, so they get a YESSSSSSSSSSSS!11!!!!*
If I have to rank the Smash bros Series in order of greatness, I would put Melee first, Brawl a fairly close second, and SSB 64 in last place. Brawl changed many things for Nintendo's stalwart series (video replays, online, stage creation, new modes, and a story), but frankly it disappointed me when I took into consideration the amount of time taken by Nintendo to fix the game. Melee was produced in far less time, had a ton of glitches (WAVEDASHING, black hole glitch), repetitive modes, but it added so much to the great backbone laid down for it by 64 that if it had online, I think, my time would be equally spent between the two. 64 is only last because it has the least features and plays the most awkwardly now, but I own two copies of this one. Weird.
Brawl gets an overall grade of a B for newcomers because I am somewhat impressed that Nintendo has stepped up to the enormous plate set by other companies. However, for the veteran smashers, in many ways this game will disappoint and seem less polished than Melee did even though Brawl had far longer development times. The veteran score of Brawl is a C+, think of a glitchier Melee with many of the lauded "features" taken out and replaced with some horrible ideas designed to ruin skill based gameplay. Nintendo did not "innovate" anything with the new features in Brawl, but they have taken some major steps to ensure Brawl keeps the pace with other games. I suggest rental before purchase, but in all likelihood, you will want to keep it around for longer. It's an enjoyable game, but longtime players will find many extended problems that should not exist in a game that was delayed repeatedly to fix issues such as the ones listed above. (Am I a hypocrite for playing this game so much while hating some aspects of it?) The other consoles and the lead games have shown Nintendo that it needs to change to remain competitive in the videogame business. Instead of focusing on changing too much of an already great game and formula, focus on keeping the experience as fun or more fun than previous installments. Also, get some more bug testers because the sheer number and audacity of some of these glitches is just insane.
IDEAS FOR NEXT GAME I would also love leader boards, but I understand they did not want to lose casual appeal with an actual ranking system, which would cause successive waves of hackers and cheaters trying to boost their scores.
There are multiple parts, for anyone who wants to see examples of many glitches in Brawl go there.
I HAVE CHANGED THIS GAME'S SCORE AND REVIEW SLIGHTLY BECAUSE I FELT I WAS TOO HARSH ON IT AND DID NOT ADDRESS ALL ASPECTS OF THE GAME AS "OBJECTIVELY" AS POSSIBLE. Thanks for reading and please subscribe!
Before I begin, I just want to send a little message to all the people who voted for Fatal Frame II for the Halloween Horrorfest: FUCK YOU!! This game is goddamn terrifying! I've never jumped so high in my life, and my mother is asking uncomfortable questions as to why there are claw marks in my ceiling. I can only come to the conclusion that your intent was to make me fill my pants with terrified excrement, and while I've not YET needed to change my shorts, this game HAS caused me to lose several years off of my lifespan as well as giving me an unwanted streak of gray in my hair! You'll get your Hall of Fame article, but after that you GO TO HELL!! YOU GO TO HELL AND YOU DIE!!!
Sorry, went on a bit of a tangent, there. Anyway.....
Hello! Thought I'd pop in for a moment with a brief newsbit and a sign of things to come with the Hall of Fame.
First off, thanks to all of you who voted for the Halloween Horrorfest we're in the middle of right now. I figured it was about time to reveal the winning games, one of which has already had its review published, and the other is coming this weekend. They are, in no particular order, Eternal Darkness, Resident Evil, and Fatal Frame II: Crimson Butterfly. Why FFII:CB won out over its predecessor is unknown to me, but I guess that's something I'll learn when I actually PLAY the game. :P I was surprised that none of the Silent Hill games made the top 3, but hey, there's always next year! I was also surprised to see System Shock 2 get a dozen or so votes, but SHODAN already got her time in the sun, so SS2 was disqualified.
In the late 90's, horror gaming was ruled by two franchises, Capcom's Resident Evil, and Konami's Silent Hill, both of which were exclusives for the Sony Playstation, although the N64 would receive a port of Resident Evil 2 in the last legs of its life. Eager to try and capitalize and expand on this genre, Nintendo partnered with Silicon Knights to create their own survival horror game. Though it was originally planned for the Nintendo 64, the project was eventually pushed back to appear on the Gamecube.
Eternal Darkness: Sanity's Requiem was released early in the Gamecube's life on June 24, 2002. The main plot concerned Alexandria Roivas, an art student who is called to the mansion of her grandfather Edward, a clinical psychologist, to look into the cause of his mysterious and violent death. Frustrated by the incompetence of the Rhode Island police force (no offense meant to actual Rhode Islanders), Alex begins to investigate for herself, and eventually discovers her grandfather's secret study, and the Tome of Eternal Darkness. Reading the Tome placed players into the sandals of Pious Augustus, a Roman centurion in 26 bc. While leading his troops in battle, Pious is summoned to an ancient Persian temple, where he is forced to battle the undead monsters within. This served as the games tutorial level, as well as the prologue for the greater story. In the last room of the temple, Pious came across the three Essences of the Ancients, Chattur'gha, Ulyaoth, and Xel'lotath. Choosing one of these essences transformed Pious into an undead mage, who was bound to service of the chosen god. It was this choice that would determine which Ancient the player would ultimately face.
Clive Barker is often called one of the modern masters of Horror. With novels like The Books of Blood, and the Hellraiser series of films on his list of accomplishments, its hard to dispute that claim. It seemed only natural then, that with Horror gaming becoming a larger and larger part of the video game market, that Clive Barker would join with DreamWorks Interactive in 2001 to create his first entry into video gaming.
Clive Barker's Undying told the story of Patrick Galloway, an Irishman who, after serving in the First World War, left his native land to wander the world as a paranormal investigator. But a letter from his former CO, the wealthy Jeremiah Covenant, brought Galloway back to Ireland, to investigate strange goings on in the Convenant estate. Upon his arrival, Jeremiah told Patrick of a curse upon the Covenant family, which had claimed Jeremiah's parents as well as all four of his siblings, and with Jeremiah dying of an unknown illness, it seemed he was next. The curse was linked to an occult book and a series of standing stones on the covenant estate. As children, Jeremiah and his siblings had taken one of their father's books, and had unwittingly unleashed a dark evil from the stones known as the Undying King. This evil had come to claim Jeremiah, and it was up to Patrick to put an end to the curse before the Undying King was set loose upon the world. Along the way, Patrick would have to face off against a slew of monstrous undead creatures, as well as the demonic spirits of Jeremiah's four siblings.
As the gap between video games, novels, and movies grows ever smaller, games gain more and more ability to provoke emotions and reactions from those who play them. Be it happiness, sadness, or even abject terror. And then there are some games that make us wonder "what drugs were they on when they made this?" These are the moments that send shivers down our spine, and make us question the sanity of those who produced the games. These are the top 10 creepiest moments in gaming.
10. The Fight with Psycho Mantis. (Metal Gear Solid)
Greetings, and welcome back, to Part 2 of our countdown of the Top 11 consoles that, for some reason or another, just weren't big names. If you missed it, go read Part 1, where we count down the 5 consoles that could have made it into the big leagues, if they had just been handled a little better.
This time around, we're counting down the 5 consoles that just plain sucked. Either because they were poorly designed, or because the company who made it screwed the pooch so hard there was nothing for it but to put a bullet in the pooch's head. We also cap our list off with one console that was such an oddity, that you could really go either way with it. Once again, as he was in Part 1, Chip joins me to add his knowledge to my own. Say hello to our readers, Chip.
We're pausing from our Halloween Fright Fest here in the Hall of Fame, to talk to you today about some consoles from days gone by that for one reason or another, weren't real best sellers. Be it because they were mishandled by marketing, or because they were too godawful to be saved. We're counting down 5 good ones, 5 bad ones, and 1 that you can decide for yourself on. And no, I'm not going to make a "Why Top 11" joke.
In the mid to late 1990's, video games were in the middle of a transitional period. With the popularity of the Super Nintendo and Sega Genesis (Megadrive if you lived outside of the US) waning, the Nintendo 64 just around the corner, and the Playstation having been on shelves since 1994, it was clear that the 32 and 64 bit age was about to take off. While the 64 bit N64 would be the most powerful console on the market until the release of Sega's Dreamcast, it would be Sony's Playstation that would rule the throne of the fifth console generation.
In 1993, a year before the release of the Playstation, a six man development team from Core Design of Europe, led by Toby Gard, partnered with Eidos Intereactive, and began work on a three dimensional action platforming game that was designed to take full advantage of the hardware available at the time. Their intent was to create a game based on exploration, puzzle solving and platforming in a fully immersive 3d environment. The initial protagonist was essentially a male Indiana Jones clone. When this wasn't accepted by the Core higher ups, Gard created the initial design for a hardened English woman named Lara Croft. Though the initial design work was done on Sega Saturn development kits, Tomb Raider was released in 1996 for the Saturn, Playstation and PC.
First off, today, Sept. 30, is my birthday. I am now 22 years old, and where once a birthday would have left me filled with merriment, I am now consumed with thoughts of "Great, I'm one step closer to middle age." Oh, well, such is life.
Second, and I know I'm a few days late to the party, but it seems my Final Fantasy column was featured in the Awesome Blog of the week. Seeing that just drove home even further what a kickass community this place has, and I just want to again extend my thanks for your readership, your comments, and your support. This really has been the best and most responsive community I've ever had the privilige, nay, the honor, of being a part of.
Had enough time to round up a few more thoughts on game's both newly released and on the pipeline. This edition of Game Impressions is the only games available on the Wii that I would want to play. If a license ain't on here, I have decided to let it go sodomize itself, or I haven't heard enough about it for an opinion. But, for the Wii, it doesn't take long to see how bad the majority of the games will be. Super Smash Brothers and Mario Kart are not on this list because, let's face it, we all play both of them with the gamecube controls anyway...they could have released full retail versions for the Gamecube and it may have even sold better. Let's take a glance at what's on/coming to shelves, k?
Game Impressions: Volume 3
If I was ever suffered sufficient brain damage needed for me to buy a Wii
The Conduit
Despite having the perfect control scheme for shooters (and a ridiculous control scheme for everything else), practically no third-party developers have been able to wrap their heads around what essentially was MADE for their IPs. The futuristic shtick of the Conduit is cliche at this point, but the weapon design is refreshing from what we've seen so far in the released videos. I guess I'm just desperate to see a quality game tailor-made to the controls that doesn't feel like a cheap cash-in. The level design seems a bit middle-of-the-road, but we haven't seen a lot of this title, so it still holds a lot of opportunity to surprise.
Deadly Creatures
The first trailer of the game made it look like a cheesy one-on-one combat license. But after watching the developer diary, where actual in-depth gameplay was presented, the game actually seems like a solid buy. It has a charming humans-are-the-true-bosses feel made famous by Disney films, and the scorpion and spider models look realistic, far beyond what has become common expectations of Wii capabilities. The notion of fully 360-degree levels with crawlable ceilings and walls also adds a bit of intrigue to the promise, even though I'm still unsure exactly HOW one will use the Wii-mote for this. If they carve out a decent narrative, or at least a reason why we are controlling tiny little creatures, this may be one of the few games that you can feel comfortable cashing in for.
Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People
I'm going to pretend that this is a must-buy for all Wii owners, but you all know I already have this baby for my PC, and I have no intention of anything else. Another genre that sucks the least with the Wii controls, the point-and-click adventure, makes its way to the Power Glove's less retarded son with one of the internet's random humor treasures, the cast of Homestarr Runner. I've been a fan of the web series since introduced to Strong Bad's emails by my friend John, specifically the [Anime] one being my first view. The gameplay looks like a pitiful excuse to break up the little cutscenes, and that's fine by me, because we aren't here for rehashed 90s click-a-thons. If you don't own a PC (most any specs will run this series) I suppose you could do worse than picking this up for your Wii.
Sam and Max: Season 1
Copy and paste the above paragraph. replacing [Strong Bad] and [Homestarr Runner] with [Sam and Max] and [Freelance Police], and you pretty much got the idea.
Fatal Frame: Mask of the Lunar Eclipse
DAMN YOU TECMO!!!! DAAAAMMMMNNNN YOUUUUU! You took a franchise I have been loyal to since going through its first installment (on my still faithful PS2). The camera combat horror gem is just the latest in a line of games formerly either Playstation exclusive or Cross-Console going Wii-happy or just ditching a version for Sony. There's very little I need to transcribe to get you to get a copy (or petition for a release on a better console), claustrophobic atmosphere, lush visuals (I'm sure those will be taken down a notch for the Wii's ancient tech), and engrossing story makes this series one of the best in Survival Horror (view my own Top Ten Survival Horror Games list for further details). Oh...right....and DAMN YOU TECMO!!!!
MadWorld
I LOVE how this game's maturity sparked a ton of controversy. It goes right to the heart of the matter: how Nintendo's desperate efforts to maintain a squeaky, vomit-inducing family-friendly demeanor has lead them to be left out of some of the industry's greatest franchises. This is why a Grand Theft Auto Wii game seems impossible. Now, back to black-and-white goodness. The game's art style is reminiscent of the recent Sin City film, and the blood and gore is a beautiful red set against the monochrome background. However, now matter how fun it is to ram hordes of NPCs into dumpsters and cut them in half with its lid is, if that is all the game has to offer, it may fall flat on its stylish ass. From what we've seen so far that does seem to be their intention, but knowing basic economics its not a leap of faith to expect them to add a bit more meat to the drenched bones. Its just a manner of how much, and how good. That is, if this game can even be released on the playground console.
No More Heroes
One of, if not the only, the first-gen Wii third-party titles worth a damn, the art style and humor of the game was more than enough to draw me in. The disappointing lack of a true sandbox world and the repetitive side-tasks didn't seem to bother me too much, but the combat did seem a bit difficult to get used to from the little I played at a friend's house. Still, like Devil May Cry and God of War, at times its fun to just watch an expert play through a few boss fights, as the visuals and animations of combat are thick with panache and smug self-satisfaction. If I had an alternate control scheme for this game, it would be perfect.
Disaster: Day of Crisis
The idea of every single possible natural disaster happening to one guy's surroundings has always been a concept I would like to see executed in either a game or animated movie (since history has taught us that live action disaster flicks are the stuff of bargain bins and Christian books), and the execution coming through from Monolith Software's cutscenes has caused my ears to perk more than any other Wii game I've seen. For the children's toy system, the graphics/textures are smooth and the gameplay is strong, even though that's not saying much. If the story holds as much as I can gain from my limited knowledge of Japanese, this could be my contender for Wii Game of the Year....but that's kinda like crowning a Queen of the Auto Show.....
Ah, the NES... Who doesn't love the NES? I can name a few people, but hey that's not what this blog is about. After my Wii rant yesterday I've decided to go back and chronicle the Top 10 NES and SNES games, and since NES came first I guess we're starting off with the Nintendo Entertainment System. For the most part these are in no praticular order.
Yeah I wish it was Wii video game, but sadly we're stuck with what we've got. Now before I go any further I want to introduce my guest speakers whom I revived from the graveyard. Introducing the girl that got smashed by a car at eleven o' clock, the young dead soldier, and that kid who has a tree outside the school that serves as a memorial. I've been practicing necromancy. Welcome lady and gentlemen.
Now you're probably wondering what this blog is about. Well it's about the Wii and its severe lack of actual video games. You see I view the Wii as such:
I have been a fan of HomestarRunner.com and thusly Strong Bad way back when there were like 4 cartoons, a few emails, some games that were barely worth playing, and some funny main pages. So after all these years when I heard they were going to be releasing a video game for my beloved Wii I was happier then the King of Town at an all you can eat China Buffet! I had honestly at first not heard of Tell Tale games but once I looked into it I recalled the Sam and Max games that have a cult following. Being a fan of point and click adventures I was still excited, I was even more excited that I wouldn't have to wait for very long at all before seeing this game on this new Wii Ware. But it was just as quick that my faith began to wain. First issue I had was with some of the voice acting in the demos/trailers. I don't know why but it sounded off. The Chaps were still at the helm but it did not sound like the same voices at times. But I brushed it off I was sure all dialouge would be fixed before the release and they can't be perfect all the time. For the most part I was right! There were a few spots that my eyebrow kind turned up to an odd pitch and Marzipan never set right with me but they were the characters.
Then we had the other issue some of the graphics looked well...lame. We were told that they were trying to stay as close to the flash toons as they could and they did that very well I think; though Homestar looked a little like his old version more then the recent one. But still I never did quite get why its had to be some jagged, the Sam and Max toons had a very styleistic art but it was smooth lookin at least. I know the Wii has the capabilities.
Then we hit another point of failure, they missed the first release date. It wasn't a big deal but annoying to say the least! Then THEY MISSED ANOTHER ONE! But no fear we could sign up for a newsletter and get a free Sam and Max episode to play! This actually did help me forget about the fact that I was still not playing that game; for about 5 hours! This brings me to the other pre release issue; these games were short and not very cheap. Knowing that the Wii version would cost 10 bucks (I could pray for 8 but who was I kidding) that kinda made me feel like this may not be worth it. These episodes that I have to download seperatly from my already payed for internet subscription was gonna cost me as much as a top shelf game from my local store. Yikes! Besides waiting so long between each episode the length of the episode just kinda scared me away.
But there I was when it came out forking over 10 bucks and couldn't wait to play it! Now here are all the problems this game had... The story was...ok...it wasn't awesome, it wasn't bad, just ok. It was Strong Bad and it was Homestar but I've watched better on the site for free. But now I get to interact with it and it was just...ok The game was, fun, decently difficult but it didn't flow very well. It was still fun and I just had to beat it but it could of been better. The Jokes were...umm...ok. Not only were they just ok but there weren't a lot of them. Once you talked to someone the first time there were not many reasons to go back and see if you could get a laugh. I giggled a couple times but not much. Some of the jokes were also hidden as part of the game play so you really missed laughing when say trying to do the race because you were trying to figure out what to do to win. -------------SPOILERS BELOW--------- Going along with the jokes the character interaction could of been better, and some of the character explinations. Why wasn't the cheat a real interactable character? I just kicked him into a dryer and then he got back out, weak. The cheat should of been there with some jokes on some CAPER! Where was Strong Mad? Oh wait he was..being a guard for the KOT. Huh? Strong Sad had an interesting roll, popping up places at random. But umm...idk just seemed weird.
Nintendo
MarioKart Wii Review/MarioKart retrospective 
YOU WILL GET A SENSE OF DÉJÀ VU. Please note that all insults are just poor jokes and as such do not deserve to be commented upon if you disagree with them, but please do comment upon anything else you think I missed or disagree with me on (BTW, I only covered the major sections of the game because frankly there are too many parts and the majority of what I didn't cover only disappointed me further). CAPITAL TEXT signifies shouting, sarcasm, or something else significant like humor.*
associated with AAARGH
even when on Normal difficulty (ANECODTE TIME: One fine, glorious day, a group of friends came over to the magical land of good games. In this land, they decided to play MarioKart Wii. Now, this was their first time playing this game and they had rarely played previous incarnations, but they figured how bad could it be? EPIC FAIL bad. They played a few games that allowed them to adjust to the controls, but dove head first into the maelstrom of evil that is Team Battle mode. Naturally they wanted to start off on the same team, so they entered their first match. They were quickly shamed, with a results score of 25 to 12. THEIR CPU TEAMMATES GOT 0 POINTS WHILE TWO OPPONENT CPUS GOT 11 PTS APIECE. WTF IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE, HUH?????? Nintendo, I don't understand what is wrong with you (I know their already on shrooms (MUSHROOM KINGDOM??? LOL), but this is EPIC FAIL messed up).). Offline/local modes get a C-, they aren't anything special, but they work and they all include CPUs now, so you no longer have to wait for friends, so for all the readers without any friends (That's all of you) can still enjoy the game. 
KWING (in general, not always).
This time around, we're counting down the 5 consoles that just plain sucked. Either because they were poorly designed, or because the company who made it screwed the pooch so hard there was nothing for it but to put a bullet in the pooch's head. We also cap our list off with one console that was such an oddity, that you could really go either way with it. Once again, as he was in Part 1, Chip joins me to add his knowledge to my own. Say hello to our readers, Chip.
