This is a double review of two classic horror flicks. Let's get started.
Jason has his hockey mask. Freddy has his quick wit. Leatherface has his chainsaw. But, there is one guy who stands out beyond the rest. He's my favorite serial killer. He's the one in the movie whose name is the current holiday. I'm talking about Michael Myers and the classic horror movie ‘Halloween.'
This was the first attempt at a 5 Second Movie, uploaded way back in June. Finally decided to cross-post my 5 Second Movies here as, of course, this is the site of the very guy who started the whole thing up! ;)
Think there is nothing worse then Puppet Master 4? Or that there is nothing more "family-friendly" after Curse Of The Puppet Master? Think again, friends. The seventh instalment in the Puppet Master series is called Retro Puppet Master (made in 1999) and is another prequel (according to a reliable source Puppet Master 4, 5, and Curse Of The Puppet Master are prequels as well!) that actually brings me my first gripe with this and the other prequels. Okay, assuming they are prequels and not other stories later on in the Puppet Master series, I would have liked the advertising companies to make that fact better known! Many people assume what I did, that the later sequels after Puppet Master 3: Toulon's Revenge is what happens AFTER the events of Puppet Master 2, but do not think they are prequels themselves!
And this is only the beginning, let me tell you! I have not commented much on the music in the previous films (or at all) and for a good reason. But I have to say this, the music for this is terrible! It does not have the original score during the credits and there are more damn music cues then you can wave a stick at! WHY A STICK??? I DON'T KNOW!!!
What I do know is as soon as we get transported back to Egypt for the teaser intro, the music sounds like something you might hear in The Adventures Of Sinbad or some other whimsical chase scene. I mean it is not even the least bit scary!
Anyway, the story is that Toulon (after the events of Puppet Master 3...yes, folks, it is a sequel prequel of a prequel!) is somewhere in the Swiss region and after Blade finds an old puppet's head ("Cyclops...") we are drifted back to 1902 (after the teaser) when Toulon is a strapping mature lad and he and his friends run a puppet show in Paris. Elsa (the daughter of an Ambassador...or is it THE Ambassador?) decides to go out late and her friend tells her not to go into any open "opium dens"...Wait, what?? Okay...moving along...
In this sequel of a sequel, Puppet Master 5: The Final Chapter (1994) (Yes, it was sub-titled "The Final Chapter" because it was meant to be the last of the series) was shot directly after Puppet Master 4: The Demon. We subsequently see where the aftermath of the last movie led to...Rick being interrogated as a suspect by the police.
It seems rather stupid though, because they have no concrete evidence to charge him with. If I were Rick I'd tell them to test Blade's knife for traces of the woman scientist's blood. But, since we live in an ignorant age, Rick does not do this.
Beside this, Sutek makes a comeback (told you he wasn't dead in number 4!) and says something odd. He says along the lines of "getting Toulon's magic". Now, that is a contradiction to what he said in the previous film, which is a contradiction from the previous films before it! And he has another Totem that he calls "my child". What the fuck???
The new boss of the Omega Project, a psychologist by the name of Dr. Jennings, bails Rick out. Under pressure by some guys in business suits, Dr. Jennings, after learning of the secrets Rick told him, decides to steal the puppets from the hotel with a little "outside help". This help is from three average American guys who are basically in slumps enough to do low criminal acts for money. Their names are Scott, Jason and Tom (Tom, Dick and Harry * rolls eyes*).
Once in every lifetime, there is a phenomenon so horrifying, so gruesome, so scary as to be completely overlooked by all. Even the Angry Video Game Nerd overlooked it in his 2007 Cinemassacre's Monster Madness. I'm talking about the ghoulish horror movie that is Poltergeist.
Puppet Master 3: Toulon's Revenge (1991) is a prequel, which is rather surprising in a good way. Usually prequels come later in a sequence of film movies, but then again what do I know? NOTHING!!! This is also the first Puppet Master with a sub-title. Toulon's Revenge...sounds mysterious and foreboding.
Set in Berlin in the year 1941...WAIT A MINUTE! In the first movie, didn't Toulon kill himself in the year 1939?? I think he did! Whoops, looks like someone didn't pay attention to their previous movies they made! Okay, granted it is a minor slip that they forgot, so I can accept that...ONLY IF ANDRE TOULON IS ABLE TO TIME TRAVEL!!! Which by the way, he can't. Believe me, if he could, this would be classified as a Science Fiction movie, not a Horror.
Anyway, moving along, we are shown in the "past" (that contradiction is still in my mind) and of course we see Nazis (it is Berlin in 1941...what did you expect to see???).
In the late 90's, horror gaming was ruled by two franchises, Capcom's Resident Evil, and Konami's Silent Hill, both of which were exclusives for the Sony Playstation, although the N64 would receive a port of Resident Evil 2 in the last legs of its life. Eager to try and capitalize and expand on this genre, Nintendo partnered with Silicon Knights to create their own survival horror game. Though it was originally planned for the Nintendo 64, the project was eventually pushed back to appear on the Gamecube.
Eternal Darkness: Sanity's Requiem was released early in the Gamecube's life on June 24, 2002. The main plot concerned Alexandria Roivas, an art student who is called to the mansion of her grandfather Edward, a clinical psychologist, to look into the cause of his mysterious and violent death. Frustrated by the incompetence of the Rhode Island police force (no offense meant to actual Rhode Islanders), Alex begins to investigate for herself, and eventually discovers her grandfather's secret study, and the Tome of Eternal Darkness. Reading the Tome placed players into the sandals of Pious Augustus, a Roman centurion in 26 bc. While leading his troops in battle, Pious is summoned to an ancient Persian temple, where he is forced to battle the undead monsters within. This served as the games tutorial level, as well as the prologue for the greater story. In the last room of the temple, Pious came across the three Essences of the Ancients, Chattur'gha, Ulyaoth, and Xel'lotath. Choosing one of these essences transformed Pious into an undead mage, who was bound to service of the chosen god. It was this choice that would determine which Ancient the player would ultimately face.
When people think of puppets, they do not associate the darker side of life like murder and death with them. They are a joy to young and old but to a couple they are evil. Not just the way some puppets look but also how they move and talk. But in this case, those fears are justified when in 1989 a movie from Full Moon Productions made a horror movie called Puppet Master.
Being the first to explore the darker side of marionette puppets, this cult-classic, Puppet Master stood alone due to the fact it has an R rating. Yes, an R rating for a movie with puppets! Though it is understandable why they gave it an R rating back in 1989, especially when there is a very strong sex scene with nudity in the movie.
At any rate, the movie starts off with a puppet master named Andre Toulon (played by William Hickey) and he has some ancient Egyptian rite that enables him to make his puppets come alive and have no need for strings. He kills himself by blowing his brains out with a gun (no cut scene, we see him blow his brains out...joy!) because the Nazis (two German men in the usual black suits...gee, I guess they must be bad guys) want to steal the formula for their own selfish means. Die, Nazi scum!
Unfortunately, the Nazis don't die but they also can't find Toulon's carefully hidden puppets that are IN THE WALL!!! I mean, geez, all they had to do was knock on the side to find it!
Ok, I know I said I was going to review Producers first, but I do not have the DVD in my possession at the moment. A friend is going to let me borrow his copy and I am still planning on reviewing it, but for now I am doing my first review on Little Shop of Horrors. I am currently working on the video and it should be up hopefully by the end of the week.
I really, really REALLY don't want to do this review. I know I said I'd do Critters for you all but since I am unable to find it anyplace, decided to review one of the classic werewolf movies of all time...The Howling (1981).
The reason I don't want to do this review is because I have a fear of werewolves. Though I mostly got over that fear because I know it is all movie-made and not real, I still get a fright at the possibly a werewolf will kill me or stalk me from outside or I'll turn into a werewolf and have those pain-staking joints twisted around... *shudders * (Yes, I know it is in a differant movie, but it still freaks me out!)
At any rate, this movie also atoned to my fear of werewolves for different reasons.
The first reason is that they are indestructible unless killed by a silver bullet. But that is well known anyway. But I think what scared me the most was the way that werewolf/man was stalking the main character in this film and how he was set up in a projector room in the shadows, letting our own imaginations run wild. This disturbing sense of imagery made my heart leap up in fear.
TNA has always delivered high-quality wrestling with their yearly Bound for Glory Pay-Per-View. Since it's their biggest PPV of the year, every match always seems to end in just the right way, and everyone knows that this was money well spent (Becuase you did BUY this, right? Don't worry, we know you did.)
Well, This year happened, and.....oh boy.
Fair warning: This will seem a lot funnier if you know who i'm talking about. If you don't, you'll prolly still like it. you can go to tnawrestling.com for info on the strange wrestlers I am about to mention, as well as videos of their weirdness....It's hard out here for a wrestling fan. I'm not going to mention names, so much as i'm going to just say there gimmicks, and you can see how riducklus this is....
Due to popular demand (one person requested it), I've decided to break from negative reviews and present you with the best list I have for my TOP 5 werewolf movies.
Let me preface the list by saying that although I have seen dozens of werewolf movies that cover a time span of about 70 years (from 1935's "Werewolf of London" to 2005's "Cursed"), most of them were not very good... for starters, five of them were from the "Howling" series. In addition, I don't have unlimited resources and there's one movie in particular that I'd like to see ("Ginger Snaps") but haven't been able to track down. This is all just my way of saying that this list isn't perfect and I hope you will take it with 2 tbsp. of coarse sea salt.
To start, I'd like to present you with some films I considered, but aren't included in the top five.
I've already proved that the scariest things about horror movie baddies are their weapons. But, what if the killer possesses no real weapons? Take werewolves, vampires, and zombies for example. Most of the time, these types of monsters don't use a weapon to do away with their prey. Nope. They use their hands, claws, teeth, anything to make sure their victim ends up dead. (Though, technically you could say that they also eat their victims afterwards. But that's beside the point.) So, what makes these guys scary? I think in these cases, it's the way they all look. I mean, sure the knowledge that the can actually do things to you with only their bare hands is also very frightening. But sometimes knowledge just isn't enough.
So, in the beginning, they had the Wolf Man, Dracula, and the original Night of the Living Dead. And all these characters were scary in their time. But as special effects grew more modern, people were no longer frightened by harry men, fanged pale guys, and people painted grey with black circles around their eyes. People were looking for more gruesome things to provoke their scared side. Naturally, Hollywood was happy to comply. They started making villains who were not only evil and scary, they were also gruesome and hideous.
Not only was Hollywood making their villains uglier, they were also giving them abilities above and beyond just mind control and immortality. Some villains could now bend time, warp reality, and bring your worst fears to wild, screaming life. The result was bigger, better, and badder killers.
By several requests, I have decided on my first musical film review. I will review Mel Brooks' The Producers. The review should be up within the next 2 weeks. To see the video, check out my youtube account. www.youtube.com/Modyman. Keep sending in other musicals you would like me to review and I will eventually get to them. Thank you again, and I look forward to all your feed back when I release my first review.
As Halloween approaches, I'd like to once again point out a piece of pop culture that gets overlooked more than it deserves. Recently, zombies have become the kings of the monsters (and I say this with profound and deeply respectful apologies to Godzilla) with several movie franchises including the continuing Dawn of the Dead series, video games like Capcom's Dead Rising and Resident Evil series and of course, Max Brooks' chilling novel World War Z. Vampires aren't far behind though, having always been a favorite in innumerable movies, and they're seeing a renewed surge in popularity thanks to Stephanie Myers' Twilight series. However, the vampires weren't alone in the Twilight series... there's another creature of the night that should command just as much respect, and has sadly not received it often from Hollywood or others.
Me though, I love WEREWOLVES. They may not be able to wreak havoc as often as vampires, given that they usually transform only during the full moon, but they at least have the convenience of being able to go out in the daylight completely incognito. When you also consider that vampires sometimes have a laundry list of weaknesses-- including sunlight, holy symbols, wooden stakes, running water and GARLIC-- while lycanthropes have only one... I think you begin to see why I respect them a little more. As for werewolves vs. zombies? Really, is there any comparison?
Regrettably, I'm forced to admit that most werwolf movies have been mediocre at best. One of the only recent bright spots was 2002's "Dog Soldiers", but it didn't get a theatrical release in the U.S. and is thus somewhat obscure. The most recent wide-release werewolf film from Hollywood was "Cursed" in 2005, but it was not well-received... and wisely so, given how hard it is to be intimidated by a lycanthrope portrayed by Christina Ricci or Judy Greer. So, for anyone who's looking for a good werewolf movie instead of more propaganda from zombies and vampires, you'll find that the pickings are depressingly slim. You'll wind up doing what I did: exploring every possibility that arises in the hopes of finding a hidden treasure.
Well, everyone... I didn't find many hidden treasures in my quest for lycanthropic goodness. What I did find were plenty of horrible cinematic cesspools, and it's my duty to call your attention to them in the hopes that you never step into them yourself. If you're prepared, I now present you with my Bottom 5: Worst Werewolf Movies.
Sequels are very interesting things. Most of the time, they're either VERY VERY good, or DISGUSTINGLY terrible. Usually a sequel works if it manages to further advance the plot and development of the main characters. For example, a movie like The Dark Knight worked because it gave more depth to the character of Batman/Bruce Wayne and added more elements to the world of Gotham.
However, a movie like Resident Evil: Extinction or Spy Kids 2 just makes you hang your head in shame. If the original was bad, why would Hollywood feel the need to make another one? Well, the obvious answer there is money, but I won't get into that.
Now...there's a fine line between a good and a bad sequel. Yet, it seems like there's different subgenres for a "bad" sequel. Its almost as if theres a few different kinds of "bad:"
I remember seeing only few climpses of this dark, dark movie when I was a child. Those few moments were forever edged upon my memory: moments so powerfull, I later had to buy the movie on dvd. That unresistable film was called Hellraiser.
In short Hellraiser's plot goes something like this:
A guy named Frank Cotton (Sean Chapman) buys a cube from an asian guy. Then the guy sets up some kind of private candle ritual in the attic of his family's uninhabited apartment and "plays around" with the cube ending up summoning demons (for some, angels for others) from another dimension and getting his ass (and the rest of his body) brutally torn apart by chains and hooks (total gore-fest). But some time later the guy's brother Larry Cotton (Andrew Robinson), along with his family, moves into the apartment. Larry get's some of his blood spilled in the attic causing Frank getting partly resurrected back to life as a skinless freak. To complete his resurrection, Frank needsto consume a lot more blood and flesh (provided by Larry's wife/Frank's lover Julia Cotton (Clare Higgins). This goes on for a while till the family's daughter, Kirsty Cotton (Ashley Laurence), finds out about these evil deeds and steels the cube. In a safe enough place Kirsty also begins to "play around" with the cube and also ends up opening a portal to a hellish dimension. Thus she meets Pinhead and his gang. Instead of getting her ass torn apart, Kirsty makes a deal with the three demons: she will deliver the escapee Frank back to them...or "die".
The story of Silent Hill 4: The Room begins in the town of South Ashfield where our protagonist, Henry Townshed, awakes from his bedroom after having a nightmare. Soon after he finds out that he's been trapped in hes own apartment...from the inside (thus the games name)! The only way for Henry to leave his apartment is to go through a mysterious hole found on his bathroom wall. Unable to get any contact to the people outside, Henry takes his chances and enters the hole... Another nightmare has begun.
Althoug the events of the game doesn't take place in the hellishSilent Hill (but occationally near to it), the player is still haunted by the town through jornals, diaries, letters, new articles and simply because it's the closest town to South Ashfield. This gives the player a third-eye-perspective to Silent Hill which work well in it's own way. Instead of wandering on the streets Silent Hill, Henry travels through the hole and finds himself in different worlds (hospital, subway, prison etc.) with plenty of mysteries to solve.
The controls are the best in the series so far (haven't played The Origins yet). Beating up bad guys has never been so fun before in the franchise (MOTH-BASEBALL!!!! ): the melee fight has been updated with a "powermeter" that allowes you to control the might of our strikes. Also the selection of melee weapons is more than satisfying. Guns are still glumsy as a blind golem. The Graphics and sounds are Silent Hill-guaranteed.
Horror
