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Dear Journal, It's me, Doug Funnie... Doug is THE classic Nickelodeon cartoon. This is the one that paved the way for every other Nicktoon there is today. It was definitely one of the most favored of all Nicktoons. He was the ORIGINAL average kid who no one understood. He was the Charlie Brown of the 90s. And he gets my vote as most likely to be the best Nicktoon ever made. In fact, there is only 1 thing that annoyed me (and I say annoyed in the lightest sense of the word possible). I didn't even figure it out ‘til recently. Did you know that this kid was supposed to be in the sixth grade? That would make him 11 or 12. And, I'm sorry, but he looks WAY older than 11 or 12. But, I digress... This show is all about this kid named Douglas Yancey Funnie. (What kind of parents name their kids ‘Yancey?' Even if it is a middle name.) He is a kid who just moved to the fictional town of Bluffington. In the show, he tries desperately to fit in. While doing that, he has family and friends that help him. It was your basic kids show. Doug is a daydreamer (and, honestly, who isn't in middle school). But, this kid has one heck of an imagination. Whenever he has a problem, he thinks about one of several characters of his own creations. He would make up stories that somehow vaguely resembled his current situation, and, somehow, come up with a solution. To name a few of his characters: First and foremost, Quailman! He was Doug's main character of reference. He was a superhero!...with a belt on his head. But hey, we all have our quirks, right? Next, we have Smash Atoms. This was another character Doug frequently used. He was a suave, sophisticated spy who always got the ladies. Then, there's Durango Doug. One of the only one's to have Doug's name, this guy was a shoot-em-up cowboy straight from a John Wayne film. Next up, "WA-NA-NA," Jack Bandit. This one, unlike the others, was a criminal. He only appeared if Doug was in trouble and he didn't want to go to prison. Finally, we have Race Canyon. He was an Indy Jones type character (complete with his own fedora). So, as you can see, Doug had some sort of personality disorder. (For those of you who don't know, that was just a joke.) But, along with the parade of characters in his head, Doug had many friends. Not to mention his family and awesome dog. Porkchop. This was Doug's loyal dog. If Doug was the Charlie Brown of our days, Porkchop was definitely the Snoopy. He was the coolest dog around and he went with Doug everywhere (yes, even in school.) Unfortunately, this dog doesn't have the personalities of Snoopy (like Joe Cool, for example). But this was still one pretty cool dog. Judie was Doug's emo sister. She was too cool for everything. She was the artsy types. Being your basic big sister character, she was always embarrassed by her brother. Skeeter Valentine was Doug's best friend. He was a friend through thick and thin. He really had Doug's back. We all tried to do that honking noise he made whenever he saw Doug (come on, you know you did), but we just couldn't get the hang of it. Patti Mayonnaise was Doug's love interest. She didn't have much of a personality, but we were always there to cheer Doug on whenever he tried to impress her. Roger Klotz was the bully of the school. He did whatever he could to make Doug's life miserable. He was kinda like Billy Sleeze in NC's review of the Top 11 Drug PSAs. Mr. Dink. Doug's next door neighbor and crazy inventor. He made sure he always had the latest tech for everything (much to the chagrin of his wife). Everything was "very expensive." The list goes on and on, but I'm sure I've already lost some of you with short attention spans. So, I'll just get back to actually reviewing the show. Even though this shows design was pretty simple, it still managed to keep our attention for the full half hour. Even the opening was pretty cool. The theme song was pretty catchy (even though it had no lyrics to it). And everything Doug does with that somehow magic pencil is pretty funny. (Again, it was a joke. The pencil wasn't magic.) Speaking of music, I totally forgot about the most popular band on this show: the Beets. They had songs that no one ever got out of their heads (much like the Duck Tales theme). Songs like "Killer Tofu," "I Need Mo' Allowance," and "You Gotta Shout Your Lungs Out." Not to mention Doug's to classic hits: "Bangin' on a Trash Can" and "Patti Mayonnaise." Anyway, this show was the bomb. It had enough to keep you interested the whole half hour and it was simple enough to understand. It definitely deserves an honored spot on the Wall of Classic Cartoons. That is, until Disney got its filthy mitts on it. After four seasons of greatness on Nick, somehow Disney got the rights to Jumbo Pictures (the makers of Doug) and twisted their ear until they made more episodes of Doug. Calling it "Disney's Doug," They turned this cartoon into a caricature of its former self. But, let's face it. We all watched it. It was such a classic on Nick, we stayed loyal to it through the Disney years. And we eventually got used to it. Disney even had the ‘nads to make a feature film: Doug's First Movie. And it was his ONLY movie. Unlike Pokemon, Disney knew a stinker when it saw one, and stopped with the Doug movies all together. It also stopped making new episodes of Doug. Thank GOD! So, apart from the Disney years, Doug was a classic Nicktoon we all loved to watch when we were kids. It truly does hold a place in the Funnie parts of our hearts forever. This has been a review by Daffy. Next time, I'll be reviewing those loveable characters, the Tiny Toons.
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