I have always saw Bella as a Mary Sue. And glad to see I'm not alone on that. I always hated the Twilight books, I don't get what people see in that. Stephanie Meyer is a hack. She really is.

Finally, someone exposes this piece of dog shit for what it is. Great review, you pretty much have said what I've been saying for a while. I always thought I was alone of my hatred for Twilight and it's good to see that some people haven't been so blinded by hype. Twilight is probably the most overrated and overhyped book this decade which is sad because it completely ruined the concept of vampires and only promotes the primitive idea that appearances are everything. The fact that people are even comparing it to Harry Potter is wrong because the two series have nothing in common and that Harry Potter is actually good. It's only gonna get worse when *shudders* the movie comes out later this year.

I think that it would be a good idea if one of the Nostalgia Chicks should review this horrible piece of shit as I believe that only they can truly rip this series up for what it truly is and make us laugh at the same time. While it may not be nostalgic, I'm sure that in five or ten years from now that all the girls who are in love with Edward Cullen will think back and realize how much time they wasted obsessing over it.

I always also thought that Twilight gave a bad name to the vampire genre and you know what's the part about Twilight? The fans, the fanbase is fucking nuts, they can't accept opinions when people disagree with the fans or just don't like the books. It's like they expect everyone to like the books as if they were the holy Bible. It's crazy.

I will not be swayed by this review, for I actually enjoy the Twilight series quite a bit, although I do agree that the fanbase of rabid teenage girls is absolutely psycho, like they are all ready to start a cult or something.

Still, it's a fairly enjoyable read, and I don't really consider it "breaking the definition of what vampires are supposed to be" because in true actuality, there really isn't one. Part of the joy with urban myths like vampires is there are no real facts set in stone, so everyone is allowed to interpret it differently and offer their opinion of what mythological creatures are like to them. If anything, I simply consider it a unique take on the Vampire, and while being a slight bit more far-fetched than most analogies is not "unacceptable" by any means.

Then I applaud your friends for being open minded.

Thank you. I found the angle of the books--that the happy ending would consist of Bella giving herself up to her creepy stalker emotionally abusive boyfriend and becoming a vampire so they could be together forever and ever--to be ever so slightly off considering vampire lore. Be reassured, there are a lot of us who feel the same way about the Twilight Saga.

But then again, everything else in this series is off, especially the hype and the various critics who were hailing Meyer as the American answer to J.K. Rowling (something Meyer is actually buying into, scarily). Rowling crafted a multidimensional universe with complex characters and plot threads that ran through all seven books, with minutiae in the first book becoming important later on--and she wasn't afraid to make authorial sacrifices along the way, as anyone who read the entire series can attest. Rowling knew when it was necessary to not have everything go swimmingly because it made her universe resonate so clearly with our own, where bad things happen and sacrifices have to be made.

Meyer created a universe but didn't know how to flesh it out beyond surface details and a basic Harlequin plot, so her work is little above fanfiction, where characters are flat and situations convenient and repetitive...until the fourth book, that is, when she decided to violate her own canon, toss out dei ex machina like candy, and, after all the super-serious furrowed-brow talks between Bella and Edward about the sacrifices they'd have to make to be with each other forever and ever and ever, gave them a rainbows-puppies-and-unicorns happy ending where--surprise!--none of the main characters had to sacrifice anything to attain it.

Fortunately, some of her fans were actually turned off by the last book, so I think the doubt has already set in and there are fans questioning their obsession, including a couple of my friends who came to me wanting to discuss "why she [Meyer] did that!" The answer? Because she's a glorified alumna of the House of Sparklypoo who got away with it.

Now excuse me, I'm off to write a best-selling novel about a gorgeously moody loner teen boy who moves to his estranged mother's beach house and falls in love with a cannibalistic mermaid who now only eats fish.

i dunno about breaking the classic vampire role, i read bram stoker's dracula a while back and i thing theres a point in the book where johnathan harker sees dracula in the middle of london at midday. granted he wasnt sparkling like a disco ball, and he sure as hell wasnt sexy. I still dunno, the book gave me the impression that it was like soft novel porn for girls, the female "flawed main character involved with a supersexy flawless vampire who is noble and honest. just thinking about that idea being an actual book with 4 in the series is making me want to throw up, its so sickly sweet.

I agree with everything you have said. Bella is the textbook definition of Mary Sue, right down to the fact that Meyer has admitted that Bella is her projecting herself into the books.

I would merely write this series off as "a really really crap piece of writing" if it wasn't for two things.

1. It gets so much undeserved hype (because of fangirls who wouldn't know a good piece of literature if it bit them in the arse).

2. Said fangirls are incredibly violent when it comes to this piece of horse manure. One tried to kick me in the lower regions for saying that it sucked, in a PRIVATE CONVERSATION WITH MY FRIEND, no less. It seems that Edward "McSparklyPants" Cullen's stalker tendencies have rubbed off on his fangirls, along with his thinking that he can do whatever he wants with no repercussions whatsoever.

And then there's the "sparkling vampires" thing. Good God, what a piece of crap. I have no problem with vampires being immune to sunlight (that's how they were originally, and that's actually what the vampires in my work are like), but SPARKLING? And the only reason that they sparkle is because Meyer dreamt it. Now, while dreams are a great source of information for writing, they're also REALLY inconsistant and wacky. If you are a writer and you have a dream which you find inspiring, you need to seperate the good stuff from the nonsensical crap. Meyer clearly did not do this, therefore, she's not a writer, and the Twilight series is CERTAINLY not literature.

And, of course, to top it all off, I have not yet met a Twilight fan who is not a complete jerk. I acknowledge that they exist (and have been shown by you that they do), but every single one I have met is rude, violent, will refuse to realise that there are better books out there and that Twilight is not, in their words, "da best fink EVAR!". I can't even have a legitimate argument with one without being attacked personally, which is a courtesy I strive to make to most people in arguments (except when it comes to Nazis, pedophiles, racists and similar).

The only good thing that I have gotten out of Twilight is the confidence that, if something as crap as that can be published, then my work definately can be. I know that my writing isn't the best in the world, but I also know that it's better than THAT sad excuse for a book series. I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and CRAP a better story.

So, bottom line, Twilight is not literature, Meyer is not a true author, the Twilight series sucks monkey balls, and the majority of Twilight fans are rabid fangirls who have got next to no brain activity to realise that this piece of crap shouldn't have even been published.

I agree, all the way. I hate Twilight with a passion, and I always will. I know exactly what you mean by "Mary Sue", focussing on Bella.

Back to the topic (*nervous laugh*), Meyers drags out the story too much!!! It's freakin' ridiculous! I read the first book to the series; I thought it was wonderful. I admit, I WAS one of Edwards fangirls. But when I read Eclipse (second book), I was pissed. How can this "Wonderful" book have the one of the main characters missing the whole time?! Who wants to read a book where the supposedly drop dead gorgeous guy is missing and suddenly pops up with some lame excuse "Oh, I've been roaming around Egypt, wondering if I was supposed to love you or not."? Answer: NOT ME!

After being a big Twilight fan, I was disappointed with the second book. So, I didn't even read the third one. I mean who would want to?! According to my friend, she said that Edward still wouldn't bite Bella, and they never married. What the h***?! And here comes the fourth book (I'm beginning to wonder how Meyers made it this far). What happens in the fourth?! Bella gets pregnant! Wow, to me that's a major contradictory on Meyers' part. I asked a twilight zombie (fangirl) how she can keep reading the story, claiming that Meyers really contradicted herself, and I was lucky to survive that conversation (she had a really, REALLY sorry explanation). Hello, where's the brain cells with the twilight fans?! I would like some doctor, or scientist, prove to me that a completely dead isn't sterile! Seriously, come and show me that it's possible!

To me, this is the summary of the Twilight series:

book#1: A flawless girl meets a vampire, and he hates her guts. SUDDENLY! The hatred between the two disappears, and you have the perfect human and vampire couple. The human wants to be a vampire, but the vampire refuses.
book#2: The Human girl almost becomes a snack for the Cullens (vampires), but she survives (I wish she didn't). The "perfect" vampire guy leaves the story completely, and he finally reappears in the last thirty pages. The question of the human becoming a vampire comes up again, but the vampire relunctantly refuses--UNLESS! she marries him. The story completely cuts off with that argument.
book#3: "Will you bite me?" "No... Will you marry me?" "No." (pretty much explains it...*shrugs* or so i've heard)
book#4: Oh, wow, here's a baby that's sucking the life out of me! Let's make this even weirder by making the baby be born in a week's worth of time! Ha, would you looky there! That's not completely--FREAKIN' CONTRADICTING MYSELF OR LIFE IT'S SELF!!!

Yes, as you can tell I'm extremely sarcastic, and I hate this... Sorry if this "comment" is long lol. I'm just letting my anger out. But I REALLY know what every one means by the fan girls. For god's sake, they're zombies! I'm about to be killed by them on a daily basis. And I actually have one person, who used to be my friend, that's trying to make every one hate me--USING TWILIGHT! I'm dead serious! I know it's unbelievable, but she is.

To end this, I'm a writer like almost every other person on this page, and I've made it my life goal to defeat Meyers. I actually have a vampire novel, and there are people who have stopped reading Twilight completely because they love my story. I promise you, I give my main character major flaws, and the vampire hates her...while she loves him. In my opinion, it's sad to be a late thirty's woman and have freakin' sixteen year olds stealing your fans. I'm sorry Meyers, but you're going down, BIG TIME! Well, that's the end of this really long thing. Sorry you guys, lol. GOOD NIGHT, TWILIGHT HATERS! I LOVE YOU! (^-^)/ STAY COOL, DON'T BECOME ZOMBIES TOO!

I have to say I was curious about checking this series out, but had my reservations as it sounded like a Mary Sue fanfic of some sort and it looks like my predictions were correct, and according to the other commenters it gets worse.
To be honest, I haven't found any good vampire stories since Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel series. The Moonlight TV show had some promise but it went downhill near the end of its first and only season. The only source of good vampire stuff nowadays comes from Japan, if you ask me. Here are some examples, so if you're a fan of vampires, I reccomend these:
Hellsing OVA and manga series
Vampire Hunter D movies, manga, and novels
Tsukihime (I reccomend playing the video game if you can get your hands on a copy, though the only ones available are pirated copies)
MinDeaD BlooD (you'll need to understand some Japanese to play this game as it isn't translated, but I have to say if you're looking for a good vampire story this is it. You actually play the role of a vampire and it depends on the choices you make and parts of town you visit that determine whether your character, Shizuru Nanase, turns out good or evil (and I'm talking blood sucking rapist evil, in fact in an expansion disc there's even an ultimate evil ending where you literally become the most powerful and evil vampire since Dracula)

Wow, and I thought I was alone in my hatred for Twilight. I'm pleased to see that there other fellow Twilight haters out there. As an aspiring writer it saddens me that crap like this can even be considered literature, but it least it does give me some hope that my own series can actually get off the ground. Unlike Meyers, I have created a series with flawed, complicated characters with deep story plots and connections that run throughout the entire series I'm planning without contradicting myself and breaking the continuity that is established. Rather than being some crappy Mary Sue fanfiction like Twilight, it is an adventure in science fiction exploring numerous elements of the genre and others, with one story even being about vampires. These vampires are what they are supposed to be instead of inhumanly attractive, emotionally troubled pansies glowing like fucking disco balls wanting to bone flawless attractive girls. Now if only I had the time and patience to bring it out of the creative phase.

Another thing that pisses me off about the series is that Meyers actually has the audacity to compare herself to a talented author like Rowling and of course her cult, I mean fanbase of rabid teenage girls is more than eager to eat up that lie and force it on those who dare to disagree with them. As said before, the fanbase is fucking psycho. I don't think I've encountered a fanbase quite as deadly or so blinded by the series they practically worship. Even Harry potter fans and Trekkies are far more reasonable, being both myself I will admit that Star Trek has seen better days (though I have hopes for the new movie coming out next year) and the last two Harry Potter books were a disappointment)aren't that crazy to the point they want to rip your eyes out for disagreeing with them. I've yet to meet any Twilight fan who doesn't get violent or excessively defensive when I try to point out the numerous flaws in the series to the point I simply can no longer take it any more and either block them for being a moron or change the subject. It wouldn't surprise me if Meyers told them all to jump off a bridge that they would actually do it. I was saddened to know that my friend for the another Twilight fangirl, but I'm relieved that she doesn't hate me for disagreeing with her. I think the only reason she hasn't tried to rip my eyes out is because we've known each other for so long and she seems to like out differences. Like nearly everyone else here, I share your pain in trying to deal with these people. The sad thing is that it's going to get worse once the movie comes out (the release of this movie pushed back Harry Potter six to next year, another reason to hate Twilight) and the fangirls will become even more rabid. We Twilight haters need to remain strong and stop these nuts from gaining more momentum.

Aside from the fanbase, the main problems with Twilight are the way Meyers ruins a classic genre, uses nearly every cliche in the book, creates completely flawless and 'perfect' characters which an author should never do, breaks her own continuity, compares herself to authors who actually have talent, and thriving on the hype that the series should never have got in the first place. My only hope is that she's done writing these pieces of elephant splooge and that the movie ba-bombs at the box office, thus weakening Twilight's popularity. I'd rather read a book written by a thousand monkeys at a thousand typewriters than be subject to the horribleness of Twilight and it would be a far more enjoyable and well written book than anything Meyers could ever hope to pull out of her ass.

FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! finally! im so sick of this stupid cutesy-cutesy vampire shit!deeyyymm!im am soo freakin happy cause ive got pathetic cousins who like go apeshit on this thing and im so annoyed!i mean its so pointless,like they make a character whose immortal,hot,and gots stuperplowers! whats interesting about that huh?!!!plus his 'screw the evil freakin world leave me alone' girlfriend! like duh! putang inang bella yan!sobrang landi! eeww. and they are making a movie about this,this Twilight thing eeww much! again fuck that vampire bitch edward and these stupid books. from where i came from and how i think, its all cheap..

Urghhhh, i hate twilight. Not for the same reason all of you do though. :dry: i actually love him. but its not realistic at all. People don't realise that its all to good to be true. Edward Cullen - a vampire who wants to be good, who is amazingly hot, can read peoples mindS, has every girl wrapped around his little finger & glitters in the sunlight. hmmmmm. Its to late for me i can't even realise that i should hate him. Urgh, everyone DON'T READ THE TWILIGHT BOOKS. :pinch:

Apparently, Edward had "literally sparkled" in once section of the series.
How does one sparkle and literally at that?
As an immortal, why would anyone want to remain in high school permanently? Why not take residence somewhere as a young adult? These books are just a terrible, failed delivery that could have been so much more.