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Ahoy-hoy friends, it's LordVonQuack (a.k.a Chris Larios-my real name is my alias?) and I bring you a new series that I plan to rarely do except in situation of pure unrestrained awesome. It's called The Countdown, it's really just a fancy was of saying a top ten list. See, I'm creative! Now this version I do has an ulterior motive I'll admit, but I'm listing my top ten ideas for the villain in the next Batman movie in the Nolan series, and the actor/actress that I feel will be portray them. I offer a suggestion why I picked each, and I rank them towards the probability that they will be featured in the next film. Now before anyone leaps at my neck to feast upon my stupidity, now that I do not read the comics, so if anything I believe is wrong, don't kill me. If you do, you'll never know where the treasure is buried. An thus, let's start The Countdown. 10. Black Mask as portrayed by Hugo Weaving Disturbingly efficient, and violently brutal, Black Mask seems like the perfect fit for the Nolan movie franchise. He's dark, twisted, and creepy, which fits even Ra's Al-Ghul's portrayal, and obviously Scarecrow, Joker, and Two-Face reeked of a twisted horror feel. His whole gimmick is that he's ruthless and is skilled at torture and with our culture obsession with torture porn starting to fade, The Dark Knight sequel might be the last chance to throw that in. So why Hugo Weaving then? Well I never read the comics, so I can't imagine how Black Mask actually spoke or acted, but the general feeling in my mind is that he's crude and violent. Weaving is most known for playing Agent Smith in the Matrix franchise, V from the V for Vendetta epic, and Elrond from the Lord of the Rings movies. Smith was a tad monotone and cruel, but it showed how Weaving can play the villain. V was the anti-hero/anti-villain depending on your outlook, but he expressed humility in that role. And Elrond was a jerk. Okay, maybe not so, but his role in The Lord of the Rings trilogy shows he can play a big picture. I believe that he can play some of the best villains around, and his portrayal of Black Mask would be creepy, disturbing, and leaving us hating the bastard unlike the rampant fan display the Joker gets now. But with a good actor and the perfect setup, why would Black Mask be so low on this list? In truth it's because Black Mask could never sell a movie alone. He'd need someone to share the spotlight with. Whether it's with Catwoman in a villain versus villain role, or if he's a hired goon underneath one of the more dangerous blackguards of Gotham, he'd need help to ever become a box office smash. Nolan said once that he wanted to do the more unknown villains, and Black Mask fits his motive operandi perfectly, but with rumors of Riddler and Catwoman on the scene I have to wonder if that was all bullocks. Did I just say bullocks? Wow. 9. Ventriloquist & Scarface as portrayed by Michael Emerson The greatest villain on television today, Benjamin Linus embodies what we hate in the villain. He's smarmy and cocky. He's untrustworthy and rude. He's psychological and scary. Benjamin Linus is evil, even if he fights for the good side from time to time. What makes Emerson such a perfect villain is that he looks weak. He's small, skinny, and has little intimidation in his face-until you gaze upon his eyes however. His eyes are the penultimate of mind rape as Ben will make you believe whatever he wishes, and Emerson's acting makes you always question whether Ben is truly a bad guy or not. Thus, turning him into a Batman villain seems absolutely necessary. So why the Ventriloquist? To be honest, the role suits Emerson, even if it's not the most well known or feared. As I said, Emerson has the look of a coward, and Wesker was a tad frail. However the evil psycho side of Scarface is easily something that Benjamin could do. I can actually see the scene now where Wesker's mouth is closed and his dummy is still talking, and Emerson is just giving the apex of "go fuck yourself" looks. Emerson is one of the best actors I've ever seen, and originally I pictured him as an amazing Riddler, which he could still do, but in the end I pitted him as the Ventriloquist. Only problem here is that the Ventriloquist is well... as everyone's favorite Frenchman Benzaie would say... LAME! Well, at least against Batman villains. He has the psychotic problem that makes a Batman villain good, but he's never treated as the credible threat like Two-Face, Joker, or the more infamous members of the rouge gallery are. Thus, fitting him into a Batman movie will be difficult unless someone with more star power supports him. I can't grasp who except maybe Joker, but can there be another Joker? 8. Ra's Al-Ghul as portrayed by Liam Neeson Rather low considering my undying love for the finest actor to ever come from Europe, but even I must admit the chances of Neeson reprising his role are slim. Not just because I'm curious to see if Neeson would accept (and if he didn't I wouldn't bother casting Al-Ghul), but it seems Nolan killed off our immortal in the origin story. Still, the aforementioned statement pops a hole in the question of "Is Ra's Al-Ghul dead?" We all know he's immortal, but it's through the Lazarus Pits which I believe these films are avoiding. So in that respect, Neeson is done for, but the living loophole was exploited in that we never saw the League of Assassins master die. In truth, the explosion might have severely maimed or injured him, and he needed some pools (this could be believable) to restore him. Part of why Al-Ghul should return is because his intellect and his knowledge of Bruce's identity. We know Wayne can't risk the truth being revealed, so an entire movie could be based around someone threatening to unmask the bat. A dummy villain could be used to turn us away until we find out that Ra's Al-Ghul has returned, and he's pissed. Alternatively we have Ra's daughter Talia who's been a romantic foil for the Dark Knight. Of course we have two methods of performing this. The former would be that Ra's lives, and his daughter assists in the madness, and the latter being that Neeson did indeed perish (as he does in all of his movies) and his daughter is taking the helm. With her as the villain we could be treated to flashbacks, dreams, or "force ghosts" of Neeson telling his daughter what to do. This is all farfetched, but if the series runs long enough they may have to get to him. Thus to keep Neeson interested, a teaser for sequel could occur. I'd be excited, but I'm also a Liam Neeson fanboy. 7. Bane portrayed as by Adeuale Akinnuoye-Agbaje It took me five minutes to spell that name while staring at the correct spelling. It just messes with my mind! Anyway, Bane is perhaps one of Batman's greatest opponent's, being known as the only man to "break the bat". He's intelligent, strong, fast, and rather unique, but he seems to get shafted on his transitions. His movie debut was him essentially saying "Garg" and "Errg". He was The Hulk, but with even less speaking roles, plus he looked stupid as hell. Reading up on Bane I realized how baroque he actually is, and that was appealing, but to portray him is a challenge. Afterall, Bane is tall, muscular, and intelligent. I suppose you could feed lines to Vinnie or Nathan Jones (no relation) and they could be... passable, but I want a good actor to play Bane. So who the hell is Akinnuoye-Agbaje? Well, he's not too well known if you don't watch television. He had a small role in the Bourne Identity and The Mummy Returns, but his more popular works were as Simon Adebisi on Oz, and more currently (I guess) as Mr. Eko on the hit drama LOST. In fact it's his role as Eko that makes me believe this role is perfect for him, although I guess Bane isn't black. Then again, Ra's Al-Ghul wasn't really white either I guess. Eko was characterized as a beast on the island physically, but he was spiritually one of the strongest. He was savage and brutal, and yet he built a church and baptized Aaron. Eko's role was perfect for the island, and I believe that his superb acting is what makes me want him as Bane; let's face it, Eko was intimidating. Now I have Bane lower on the list mainly because well... I doubt he could carry a movie. I think people might not take a film seriously if Bane is the only adversary, and worse off I just can't see Nolan taking on a character that is intelligent, but tends to use brute force more. However I hold onto the hope that we'll see this casting call, because Bane and Adeuale are possible toppers to the Nolan franchise. 6. Mr. Freeze as portrayed by Terry O'Quinn Most not recognize the name, but to any fan of the hit series LOST, this name is synonymous with greatness. Playing the great John Locke, O'Quinn provides arguably the best performance on the drama alongside Fox and Emerson, and on a show with such amazing talent, this is a feat to be admired. If one looks at his credited list, it's hard to find anything consistent, but Mr. O'Quinn has been around science fiction, and his role on the island proves his capability to perform a series hard-hitting dramatic role. So why Mr. Freeze then? Well to be honest, the main reason is the look. He's got the shaven head, the cold complexion, and the right body frame. In addition I find that his attitude could easily mimic the sympathetic Freeze who battles to bring others to the same desolate frozen wasteland he lives into, as opposed to the campy singing crazy Freeze we were all so treated to in the Nostalgia Critic favorite. O'Quinn is also rather old (age 56) and personally I'd pick Freeze to be older in the movies. He's had time to sit and wallow in his sadness; his heart growing colder as each winter passes. Afterall, it's the suit the makes him dangerous, so why have a big strong Freeze? I'd rather one who can... well you know... act. Mr. Freeze ranks relatively low on this list because Nolan has admitted that the gimmick characters like Freeze and Ivy are not on his agenda, so his probability of making it is less than desirable. In contrast however, anyone reading the comics knows that Mr. Freeze is one of the most gripping and detailed characters in the franchise, and in addition he twists the story. Unlike Joker and likely Riddler, Freeze isn't inherently evil. He's conflicted, and in almost all his incarnations he's come off as the hero in the end. Fighting a foe who isn't a true badguy is the right direction for the Nolan movies, and picking a lesser known actor to fulfill the role of Freeze might convince people to not think Batman on Ice when they see this. 5. Clayface as portrayed by Steve Buscemi Depending on the incarnation, Clayface can range from homicidal maniac, to a painful unlucky soul cursed by fate. Strangely enough, Buscemi could fill any of these roles, as the man is acting gold. Personally I feel Matt Hagen's Clayface to be the most appropriate, but that's mostly because I've only watched Batman: The Animated Series. I suppose that he's the most familiar to those who watched the show, but never read the comics. Buscemi's main claim to fame as his role is Reservoir Dogs where he played the awkwardly titled Mr. Pink. He's now known for playing the villains or the sneaky evil characters. Chances are that if Aladdin were filmed today, he'd be Iago, the creepy parrot. While psychologically Buscemi is feared, physically he's nothing to scoff at, but that's why Clayface works so well with him. The clay makes him scary, but the voice... oh my that voice is terrifying. I would never stop having nightmares about that villain. Imagine it if you will, the climax of the movie, and Clayface is on his last legs. He rises up-a tidal wave of dark earth dwarfing the Batman as he towers over the ground. His face scowled and vile as he screams for Batman to come at him. That... would be great. It would be like Sandman, if Sandman hadn't sucked. As for the possibility of seeing Clayface, I bet it's not very likely. Though I've never heard Nolan say no, I can't see Clayface making the cut for the next film, though he deserves it. Clayface is a scary villain, but he requires the mystical side of Batman to exist. One could argue that his body is a chemical mutation, like Joker or Two-Face, but look at Nolan's representation of those two. Joker just wears make up, and Two-Face was scarred by fire. Magical shape-shifting clay might be a tad over the top in this version of the Batman world. 4. Catwoman as portrayed by Rachel Weisz To be honest, I'm not a big fan of Catwoman. Among Batman's rogue's gallery she's overshadowed by far greater characters. However there is one up that I believe she has over the others: a vagina. No one can kid themselves; a superhero movie without a love interest will never be as successful. It's a Hollywood cliché, but the truth is that Batman needs someone to tease him. Now they can get anyone to do that. They can invent a new role just like last time, but rumors circulate Catwoman's return to the big screen. Now the way to explain her past should likely avoid the prostitute angle or all I'm going to be able to think about is Sin City Jessica Alba, and that scene just feels too XXX. There was no nudity, but still. Oh right, my article! Rachel Weisz is a very attractive woman and closer to Bale's age than some of the actresses I picked (Summer Glau from Firefly and Sarah Connor: Chronicles fame who could pose as a 16 year old if she wanted) or a bit more talented in serious roles (I really considered Rosario Dawson here). I think that Weisz has the right look for Selena, and with the right attire, I think an older (not to detract from her beauty because she is still absolutely stunning) Catwoman is appreciated her. Though I could be wrong and the movie moguls might go with a woman still in her twenties. If they do I would recommend Summer Glau again for a reason that honestly, I can't explain. That girl is just bewitching, though if she fits the role... who knows. Still she's already a sci-fi/comic book staple heroine, so her coming in isn't crazy. Now I want to address the rumors of Cher playing Catwoman. There is no possible way that Catwoman will be played by Cher, but if this is true, I will officially declare Nolan the worst director if that bitch doesn't pull out an amazing role. Yes, even more so than Joel and Uwe. Those guys just made crap movies. It takes a director of infamous talent free direction to take a great movie and make it stupid. I find this rumor too unbelievable though. Prior to this I've heard Riddler confirmed, and in another light I heard the Joker confirmed. Now Catwoman is confirmed, and a 62 year old actress is to portray her? What possible romantic angle would you attempt to get out of Batman when Cher is almost twice Bale's age? No, I refuse to believe this rumor is true. M from the James Bond movies would be a better pick. At least she's got some curves to her. But in all likelihood I see Selena making the next movie, or if not some incarnation afterwards. Bruce needs a love interest, and that should be Catwoman. If they don't make her so overly depressing, then maybe she can come off likable. I really hope she does because she's gotten a bad rap. Although I don't like her much, I respect her, so a nice characterization of her could breathe life back into a spirit butchered by Halle "Death to Comics" Berry. 3. Two-Face as portrayed by Aaron Eckhart I must admit, I loved this role, and Two-Face the character easily ranks on my top three villains of all time. I found Tommy Lee Jones to be a perfect fit for the character, but his performance just awful. Eckhart's role was excellent, and showed a true passion to embody the scarred District Attorney. However (and forgive me for Dark Knight Spoilers, but really if you haven't seen the movie yet, what are you waiting for) his death in the movie seems to lend credence to the idea that the character is gone. Of course there were three clues to the contrary. Dent's coin for him landed face-up, his fall was discredited by Maroni earlier as "[not high enough to kill a man]", and no coffin was present. In a tradeoff, Dent could be at Arkham, alive and well, but hidden so no one knows the truth. The next movie could be another team up with a villain freeing Two-Face to submit Gotham into anarchy once again as they realize their fallen hero has become their most hated scum. Now I understand the entire "His face is evidence that he's not normal, and thus he would not hold the same survival theory of Maroni, but I don't enjoy that logic. His painful condition didn't keep him from going hunting around Gotham, so I'm banking on that theory falling through. So the chances of Dent returning are relatively high, but there are a few hurdles to get through. He's not as cut and dry as the other main villains, but that doesn't negate his possible existence. I get the feeling that in the future we'll see Dent once again, and when he does I pray that Eckhart reprises his role. If he doesn't, the only other man I want to see as Two-Face is Ray Liotta, but that's a different discussion. 2. The Riddler as portrayed by Kelsey Grammar Okay, stop! Don't leave yet, I promise to explain! To steal from the great Patton Oswalt, I'm going to take you to Mount Doom and then right back to the Shire, Frodo. Okay, Kelsey Grammar is famous for his role as Fraiser on the series Cheers, and then the self-titled spin-off Fraiser. He's known for his comedy roles, such as the ever iconic Sideshow Bob from Simpsons fame, but Grammar can be serious, and Ledger's performance taught me to take a role never at face value. Except Cher. That's still just stupid. The last rendition of Riddler we've been treated to was Carrey's "performance" in Batman Forever. I mock his role because it was just Carrey being Carrey, with the logical face of the Riddler being tossed aside in favor of "How gay can we make this character?" Turns out very gay, as Carrey's Riddler was stupid. I like Jim, I really do, but Riddler isn't so zany, and his performance just made no sense. Thus, Grammar seems like the perfect replacement. Where Carrey would be silly and erratic Grammar would be calm and collected. Intelligently he would lay out the traps for the Dark Knight, each riddle insulting the detective's intelligence. Ubiquitous, the Riddler is there to mock, but never be foiled until after our hero has finally undone the greatest riddle of all. The Riddler is a lock for one of the new movies, and if not the next, we'll see him in the following. A multitude of actors could play him, but to keep him from feeling like a cheap Joker knock-off, this Riddler can't be over the top. He should be sophisticated, refined, and has a massive attention to detail. The originally Riddler was obsessive compulsive after all. So when I said Fraiser should be the new Riddler, I wasn't crazy. Grammar played Beast in X-3, and even if you disliked the film you can't knock the acting, or at least the main acting. Grammar, if he becomes serious, can be excellent. I truly believe a Kelsey Grammar Riddler could be the surprise cast call of the decade. But that may just be me patting myself on the back for thinking of it. 1. The Joker as portrayed by Daniel Day-Lewis Alright, shut the fuck up right now. Anyone who says "You can't recast Joker" is just being ridiculous. What are the two main reasons to not recast Joker? - Because his performance was so amazing.
- Because Ledger is dead.
Well for the former, I must remind everyone that on the initial casting call for The Joker people were outraged. I knew plenty of people who thought that Heath Ledger was doomed to be a pale comparison to Jack Nicholson's role, but those critics were promptly told to "shut the fuck up" on July 18th. To claim that no one can surpass Ledger's performance is both arrogant and disrespectful. Ledger was a fine actor, and his final role is nothing short of amazing, but Ledger was not the greatest, and to call him that is an insult to both him and the other greats of the cinema world. Other people could take the role, and run with it. As for Ledger being dead, I find that to be a poor substitute to kill of a character that didn't die in the movie, is necessary to live for the next movie, and is the main villain of the entire franchise this film is based off of. If Joker had died as well, I might have said "Yeah, let's just let the guy rest", but he didn't, and he really should be in the next movie. I respect Ledger, but what does cancelling the character do for the movie? It restricts its ability to transcend a simple superhero cliché, and will transform the film from a work of art to a lackluster effect that remains a shell of a far superior film. To cancel its star character for the reason of the actor's death is troubling, and its tough shoes for the replacement to fill, but why would any actor who truly loved his role be angry that someone was recast in it when he only embodied it once, albeit to critical acclaim? Yes, if Hank Azaria died I would just cancel Simpsons, but this is different, and while Ledger's death is a tragedy, it should not restrict a theater's ability to make art. So yeah, we can recast the Joker, and you know who would rock as the Joker? Daniel Day-Lewis. I know the stories about Ledger's preparation for the film. I know about the month in the hotel room reading comics and perfecting his mannerisms, but Day-Lewis is also a method actor, and perhaps one of the best alive. Day-Lewis could embody the Joker with flying colors, and the world would welcome it. However, this will likely never happen. And it's not even because of the Ledger death scenario, but rather that we'd need Day-Lewis, and that gay picks his parts very methodically. Four movies in ten years, but the guy won the Academy Award for best actor. To get him as Joker, I doubt would ever occur, but that might be the best casting call ever. I loved Ledger, and I loved Nicholson. I'd love Day-Lewis if they gave me the chance. So there's my top ten... er... my Countdown of the Top Ten Villains for the Next Batman Movie. I hope you enjoyed, and you have an opinion, voice it. Obviously I'm no movie expert, and if have an alternative idea, deliver it unto me, and I shalt smoteth it! Wow, that made no sense. And on that note, I leave you to type angry replies of gratitude and praise. Right? Right!? Peace.
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Or, they could just end the Nolan series now, get a new Director, and start the Batman series anew, which would mean it would be much less Controversial to re-cast Joker...
But, seeing as how Dark Knight and Batman begins were such HUGE hits, there'll be another Nolan movie. So, my vote is for Harleen Quinzel, AKA Harley Quinn.