|
Horse shit: The excriment of a large, solid-hoofed, herbivorous quadruped. That's what's horse shit.... I'm just kidding. This is a series not unlike Jame's Rolfe's "You know what's BULL SHIT?!" (In all honesty, I WAS gonna call this the same thing. But, I changed my mind in order to keep away from the piles of hate mail I'd probably get.) So, now, I give you the first episode of "You know what's HORSE SHIT?!" WARNING!!! This article contains a shit load of bad words. For those of you who cry at the drop of a hat, you might wanna back off now. You know what's horse shit? Braces. What the fuck is the point of these things? I mean, I know they're supposed to straighten your teeth. But do they really help? The answer is FUCK NO!!!! All they do is put a child in pain. Then, a few weeks later, when the kid is used to the pain, they go to the dentist and TIGHTEN THE FUCKERS! And the dentist says, "It's for your own good. Don't you want nice, straight teeth when you grow up?" Sure. I'd LOVE that. But I've yet to see an adult who had braces when they were younger and STILL have straight teeth. So, against the child's will, THEY PULL TEETH! Why? To make way for new teeth, of course!! WHY?! Aren't those teeth good enough for you, you ass. "But, taking these teeth out will make you look better later." Yeah. But it doesn't stop me from looking like a bad hockey player NOW. Not to mention the fact that my mouth is now FULLY FUCKING NUMB. Good job, you freakin duesch. At least it's numb for a little while. Then, after a day or two, you feel the pain. Then you think, "MY GOD, WHY?!?!" Then, after a couple of weeks, you figure out what real pain is when they put on the braces. You just wanna punch the doc in the face. But, you can't 'cause you might get in trouble. So, after almost FOUR YEARS of pain, torment, and misery, they FINALLY take off the shit. So, that's it, right? No more shit in my mouth. My teeth can finally be free, right? WRONG!!! They give you a DAMN RETAINER!!! Why? "So your teeth can stay straight." WHAT?! Weren't the fucking braces supposed to make sure my teeth stay straight forever? What the hell do I need to wear a damn retainer for?! I, for one, think the whole thing is a conspiracy to keep a kid in pain and humiliated for as long as possible. Braces suck and they're a steaming piece of HORSE SHIT!!!!
 |
Subscribe to this comment's feed
Show/Hide comments
This did make me feel better, so thanks for pointing it out to me. Even though it doesn't change anything about getting braces, the ranting does help set off some steam, doesn't it? 
*Rubs arm while laughing* 
Show/Hide comment form
Besides the topic in question, and of course the unoriginal idea, this has some nice potential (I don't mean to sound condescending and i apologise) Besides, i'm not one to talk after having posted some rather unoriginal things myself.