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Transformers The Movie: Review
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Can I assume you were being sarcastic?
With the messy action, terrible jokes, castration of the Autobots, countless plotholes and overall just an awful script, I can only assume that the review was sarcasm. |
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Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
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I fraking love this movie...
Oh and if you've watched this before watching the movie...uh...idiot...and uh...spoiled 
So if you haven't hit play yet and are scanning through the comments, my advice is not to hit play unless you want to be spoiled...and I mean totally, giving away the ending, ruined the movie for you spoiled...not the oh no Optimus has flames spoiled. |
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Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
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The Grail doesn't give you immortality. It heals you and extends your life, that's all. To get immortality, you have to keep drinking from the grail.
As for passing the seal...the price is that the cup can't go past the seal, not the effects of the cup. It's said in the movie that two of the three knights who took the grail to the temple came home...one made it and he was far older than he should have been.
he stayed in the temple, drank from the grail, then left, and eventually got old. The same with the second knight, while the third stayed behind to guard the grail, drinking from the cup every so often to stay alive, but even then he gradually got weaker.
See what you can learn when you pay attention? Yeesh
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Status of the Site 5/29/08
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Kinda unrelated, but it just popped into my head and I have to say it before I forget.
I know you get a lot of requests to review a lot of crap movies for your Nostalgia Critic segment...but there is one...maybe it's been mentioned to you already, if so, sorry...though it's worth mentioning again.
It stars John Travolta in his greatest acting performance with a screenplay that was screwed by the academy because they don't like biopics.
I am talking of course about the scifi masterpiece that is....
BATTLEFIELD EARTH (cue dramatic music)
I think we can all agree that Battlefield Earth deserves...no it MUST be reviewed by the Nostalgia Critic.
It is a movie that may even be worse than Batman and Robin, more diabolical than Super Mario Brothers, has more plotholes than Transformers and Tom & Jerry combined...the stars are aligning and it's time for Xenu's afternoon feeding.
Nostalgia Critic, thy Will be done.
Plus you know, you could wear a mask to hide your identity from the Scientologists...I'm sure they'd never find you 
So...any chance of it happening?
Nostalgia Critic vs Battlefield Earth and by extension Scientology although for legal reasons it must be referred to as "that freaky Cruise thing" as Scientology is a registered trademark and I'm risking a lawsuit by just typing this. 
Has there ever been a more perfect movie to review? |
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Nostalgia Critic Releases - Next 9
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I've said it before and I'll say it again...there is one movie that MUST be reviewed by the Nostalgia Critic:
BATTLEFIELD EARTH!!!!! |
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Where is the Bum?
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So I'm guessing that it's some sort of sponsorship thing or something. I can't think of any other reason to use Xomba instead of your own site which was set up specifically to show your videos.
Not that I have a problem with it, bills need to be paid. Just as long as you provide a link to the latest video every week. Deal? |
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A.I.
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I agree...Battlefield Earth must be reviewed...the fate of the world depends on us human slaves learning how to fly ancient fighter jets so we can defeat the aliens who speak english but english spoken by humans sound like animal noises and humans who hear the aliens speak english also only hear animal noises and John Travolta has dreadlocks and it was supposed to be a trilogy and god help us if another one of those crap movies ever comes out and this is the longest sentence in the history of the world which was once a prison for aliens who were killed by hydrogen bombs dropped into volcanoes by the evil lord xenu and inspired travolta ro adapt Hubbards Battlefield Earth to the big screen thereby single handedly destroying a career that had been ruined before but then he made a comeback in Pulp Fiction which was pretty good but battlefield Earth isn't and I really need to breathe. Stop.
Battlefield Earth - It must be reviewed. |
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A Jones By Any Other Name
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Funny...of course somebody is going to want to know the real story...which is pretty simple:
His dogs name was Indiana, and then he added "Smith" as a generic, everyman name. Yes, it was originally Indiana Smith, then Spielberg suggested changing it to Jones and thus a legend was born.
A legend that would be played by "The Tasche" himself - Tom Selleck. Except he couldn't get out of his contract for Magnum PI and the role went to Ford.
Lucas' dog Indiana was also the inspiration for Chewbacca.
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Ask ThatGuy: Episode 4.3
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But...but...if you keep blowing up babies....then doesn't blowing up babies also become a cliche?
Haha, I have defeated you...now then, about that Battlefield Earth review.... 
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Captain Planet
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I've actually been thinking about writing a Captain Planet script. Seriously, it's a project that's been in the back of my mind. There would need to be some changes to make it...you know...good...but handled the right way it could be awesome...maybe. |
