I'm not a hundred per cent sure on what exactly it was that I just listened to. Also, I never want to hear the words, "Phantom Cock," Again...ever.

Wow... this was just meta. We've gone beyond breaking the fourth wall with this story; we've probably broken the sixteenth wall.

Also, "negromancer" is a very, very bad pun.

I hope this doesn't become a regular thing, where a bunch of schmucks purposefully write bad fanfics about you in the hopes that you'll dignify them by putting their schlock on the air. The video is still truly entertaining, but I fear that it may open up a void of intentionally awful and offensive fan fiction.

Also, guh, yet another person who says "from whence it came." That's redundant; you'd just say "whence it came."

I think my favorite part is where Sage runs "off camera," like this entire interaction is going on in a Masterpiece Fanfic Theater video. :)

:0 :0 :0 :0 :X :X :X

So first you get raped by a phantom penis, then you rape osama bin laden? This guy has quite the imagination

If this fic really was made to spite you, then you should be the one getting raped by osama, not the other way around haha

lol but hey, he coulda made this worse and even more culturally insensitive if he wanted too

:X

What just happened? The meta freaked me out, but then the rest of the fanfic set in...

Oh, Bennett. You never fail to bring a grin to my face with your snark.

I had wondered if this was written not necessarily out of fannish rage, but some misguided attempt to get your attention. The masses demand you smile upon them by reading their crappy fanfic! Make haste!

Haha that was a pretty awesome story and by awesome i mean wow some people have a rediclious sence of humor. It was big of you to read this story to us bro thanks :P its always a good time.

Sage thanks for this...uh...incredibly disturbing fic, I'm already scared...I mean looking forward to the FF7 fic.

The fic was weird.

And I think I know what the next Fanfiction is. O.O

Well, at least it's not telling the oldest bad fanfic of all time. :)

Did he just read a story about himself reading the story he was reading in the video he made about himself reading the fanfiction about him in a video reading the fanfiction that, that...um, Gah?

I think we should all be grateful some sort of causality paradox didn't open a gateway to the 16 demension. Very confusing episode I must say, about you...reading something about you reading...

The guy who wrote this must've thought to himself, "I"ll take him down a notch with the power of fan fiction!"

Thank you for putting up with this.
I'm a big fan of fanfic theatre. One reason may be that I'm a writer myself, not of fanfiction, but of my own original short novels mostly, and I like to think I'm fairly good at it. I guess it bothers me to see the characters of other writers so horribly misrepresented and contorted because I know I feel very attached to my characters and I alone want control over them.
So apparently this guy considers himself to be good at voodoo, and that voodoo is real... wow...
Actually I think I'm the one feeling disturbed...
And I disagree with the sentiment that it is somehow invaluable to criticize someone's work. However, I know your show is mostly about highlighting things with really no redeeming qualities so it's hard to give a real critique as opposed to what you do which mostly consists of reading the thing, making a few statements, and leaving the rest up to (me) the audience.
Writing is one of those things that isn't worthwhile if it's average or less than good, unlike the famous critic speech in Ratatouille where he talks about how the average "food creation" is probably more worthwhile than the criticism. I say that because criticism itself is in the same realm as writing, and therefore you can compare the two. A criticism then can therefore become more worthwhile and enjoyable than the thing being criticised. That fact is evinced by all the critics here on TGWTG...

the vas deferens would not be hurt if it went through the taint unless it went at an angle away from the anus or went through the urethra, prostate, and bladder. this guy needs to learn anatomy

Really?

REALLY?! You fuck Osama in a fic?! Now I really know that that internet rule is right D:

Wait...this was REAL?! When you started reading it, I thought you'd made this up as a joke. I was expecting it to end in a manner similar to Monty Python's "The Show So Far" sketch:

"...'and a man told us about what happened on the show so far and a great hammer came down and hit him on the head.' I don't remember that..." *WHAM*

Final Fantasy?!?!

Oh [b]GAWD NO!!!![/b]

People, were about to descent into the eighth circle of Fandom-hell, with the ninth being Kingdom Hearts...*shudder*

I gonna make a prediction here, it will either have crossdressing Cloud, Tifa with a cock or sexual activity involving RED XIII.

Possibly all of the above. Be afraid. Be VERY afraid. :(

Honestly, I don't see why we need to be shown we'll never see Final Fanasy VII the same way again. There are so many works of debauchery from emotionally warped fans of the game that to explain why our view of the is forever changed would be like explaining why nobody likes being stabbed in the face. The reasons are so clearly obvious that explanation is unnecessary.

What's wrong with this world? xD

that just broke the fourth wall

This reminds me of all those idiots who defended P.J. aka Biodread (who wrote Resident Evil zombie rape fics) and Kefka the Dark One (Sonic furry rape). :pinch:

[quote=TheXell]Final Fantasy?!?!

Oh [b]GAWD NO!!!![/b]

People, were about to descent into the eighth circle of Fandom-hell, with the ninth being Kingdom Hearts...*shudder*

I gonna make a prediction here, it will either have crossdressing Cloud, Tifa with a cock or sexual activity involving RED XIII.

Possibly all of the above. Be afraid. Be VERY afraid. :( [/quote]

And that's if you're LUCKY! :evil:

That was the worst he could come up with for you, Master Sage? You get a Phantom Phallus in your intestines for a few moments, and then violate a "terrorist"?

And why violate Bin Laden? Is that supposed to be a slur on your patriotism? Is he trying to say that you're not American enough?

This fic, written by LordNegro, seems to fail at even failing, as epically unfunny and epically uninteresting as it is.

However, It *is* funny that you are magnanimous enough to read this fic on your show. Here's to ya! ;)

I don't know what to say; there weird writing I mean seriously, maybe I should be ashamed or seeing I used to have hobby fan fics writing myself , but your right same fanfics just them have sex the their favorite charather and weird fanasty

Soo why was this written?
What have Sage you ever done to this "negromancer"?

Wat. What just happened?

And yes, he could've done much worse to you.

I'm a little confused at what sort of revenge this fic was supposed to be... And I LOVE how the author thinks that he totally just burned you. I'm pretty sure he thinks he's a literary genius.

At any rate, you are my hero for taking all of these terrible fanfictions standing up. Keep on reading, you brave, wonderful, sexy man.

Never see FF7 the same again....why do I have a horrible feeling I know what you're going to read and have already heard it being read on a podcast.

Also wouldn't a negromancer, by the common understanding of the term mancer, be a being that magically manipulates the color black and not an african american wizard?

Not too impressed Sage. As usual you did a fine job in reading it, however the thought of reading a bad fanfic that's [i][b]intentionally[/b][/ i] bad is kinda buzz killing. Not to mention the writer wanted to get on your show and you let him, probably clearing the way for others to attempt to do so as well >.>

I'll sit the kinds of that type out I suppose, and come again for the others :cheer:

This shlub purposefully calls himself "Negromancer" and he thinks you're the one worthy of ridicule?

"Petty in his haste to mock things he did not understand"
Given that the last fanfic mocked was that bonkers Harry Potter opus with a potty mouthed Dumbledore, gothic Harry Potter and the world's worst Mary Sue, I wonder what deep, profound understanding Negromancer has of the material that he/she believes Sage cannot understand.

Yes! It's time for FF7 to get some hurting, I can't wait for the next episode!