My Immortal Part III

(94 votes, average 4.94 out of 5)
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Comments (154)
  • Colme  - Yay
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    What a treat. I do enjoy this series of videos, in a sadistic kinda way. Keep up the good work Sage. Can`t wait for part 4.
  • tologna
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    i think u mean masachistic. :D
  • Lee is Still Gaming  - Slit wrists AGAIN!?
    Dena brought up that the author has mentioned that she went to the hospital for slitting her wrists AGAIN. Twice over the period of one fanfiction means she's doing it wrong. These chapters must stop.

    Can someone please forward this Public Service Announcement to that author?

    [img]http:// img694.imageshack.us/ img694/2185/ suicidev.gif[/img]
  • Limecat
    This girl [url]http:// encyclopediadramatica.com /Emo_Cutter_Girl[/url] disproves that rule. And she cuts all the way down to the ulnar artery.
  • Batmanchu  - OH MY DEAR SWEET JESUS
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    I had to register just to say: "OH MY FUCKING JESUS ON A POGO STICK!"

    I've seen it all. 2G1C, Goatse, BME Pain Olympics, all that shit. That takes the effin' cake. :X
  • ladydiskette  - Oh sweet Jesus....
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    I have heard rumors of it but I didn't believe them until someone actually sent me a link to the website where the fanfic was written.

    What makes up for the painful reading is funny way in which whenever someone tries to correct a spelling mistake to the author or offer constructive critism, she goes off on a rant saying they are a "prep" and they "just hate her because she is goth".

    As a fellow fanfic writer I just find that humerous.
  • ladydiskette  - Did I just hear her mention Nirvana?
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    Nirvana is not even a "goth" band. They are anything but....couldn't she (or he if its a troll writing this) at least try with some pictures of Black Sabbath or something?
  • Dracowrath
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    The only enjoyable parts are Sage's little captions at the bottom to make jokes, lol.
  • Adrenal Lynn
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    Oh wow, there was so much new content in this one! I never knew she could come up with such creative outfits! And I wouldn't want to sh** next to her, I'd want to sh** ON her.

    And when she said "he took off my black bar," I literally thought she meant the black censor bar that covers up boobs on TV. I thought she was being clever... then I remembered who we were talking about.

    Thanks for another great one, Sage. :)
  • Fantomn33t
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    This is why making fanfictions is a sin.
  • Chronische
    But, see, if she hadn't made it, it wouldn't exist to show people WHY fanfiction is among the worst things ever conceived.
  • G1990
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    Indeed, Your mother reads Fanfics in Hell
    :evil:
  • makani
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    For every three terrible stories in existence, there is one gem that is good and wonderful. :( They are rare and should be treasured.
  • TheDued92
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    Man this girl can't be real, I can't believe that a person can act or write like this.
  • swesam
    why you bother reading this shit show yourself some fucking mercy.
  • ThatGuyInTheHeadband
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    I don't understand? What's going on? Why does this even exsist? Why?

    Also, didn't Voldemort go to Hogwarts in the 40's, not the 80's? And how do you mistake Riddle with Bombidle?
  • Mcmadness
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    Oh dear not another chapter :S
    This crap is just too long.
    I mean this fanfic is TERRIBLE!!
  • Lotus Prince
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    When I picture dark and goth, I picture eating Count Chocula, the children's cereal with the silly and humorous mascot.
  • QuestionTheMajority
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    Because nothing says evil and undead like a friendly vampire who doesn't drink blood and prefers chocolate, right?
  • Solemn
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    I showed the fic to an English Education major. He had a fit for quite some time after reading just the first chapter (which is pretty short).


    Part of me thinks that Tara was an EPIC TROLL. The other part of me thinks that this is a further example of human stupidity.
  • DeathsHead419  - Sadly
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    As someone pointed out, for this to be the work of a toll they would have to have created Tara, several people that she seems to interact with, in addition to the...um, abomination.

    They would also be the most dedicated Troll in history, scince they would need to remain in character (as TARA, ughugh gack) for the months it took to post this as well as create the sub fiction of this made-up persona's actions.

    This could not have been done by a Troll, which saddens me on the future prospects of humanity.

    Edit: Actually, no, this just makes me want to redouble my efforts at writing.

    And world domination so I can have this person put to death.
  • The Goth
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    Solemn, I said this in a previous part's comments, but I know two girl who used to be my friends before high school hit and they went off to be incredibly bitchy and love Twilight. I remember in 9th grade when I was telling them about this and the first one ended up telling me that it was actually a really good story, but someone like Stephenie Meyer should spell-check it and republish it and share the profit with the girl who wrote it.


    Of course, this is coming from the girl who thinks the Twilight books just are the best there is and that brokeNCYDE is the awesome-est heavy metal music in the world.
  • Limecat
    If she honestly thinks brokencyde is heavy metal, I want to kill her. Actually, I want there to be a brokencyde genocide. Even JUGGALOS are tolerable compared to those shitheads.
  • pomaflah
    The Twilight novels ARE the best there is... at least in romances where no one has sex before marriage.
  • TheThreadWeaver
    Even if she was a troll, then it's still an example of human stupidity. Because that would mean that the troll spent an immense amount of time trying to figure out how to write this in a precisely antagonistic manner.
  • Mcmadness
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    I would love to meet this girl.........because then I would shove my fucking hand up her ass and show her how much of poser she really is.
  • G1990
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    :pinch:
    What's a poser anyway?
  • PhoCarrot
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    I think my favorite part has to be when Draco puts his "Spock" in her "you-know-what".

    And I'm still trying to figure out how you laugh statistically.
  • M.Seijin
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    LOOK AT ME! I'M A WRIGHTER TOO! :woohoo:

    jkisza77vc hguyt321 fd4rui2398h1hnm,;.
    dexwippchfhnvt870 e73 y62wq 9isdtw2q8 mn82w3 2vyu8of9saq7 geq6gdvcio 72 d sw ufcd frdujikj c8ujuhisao9 cv 097-aescdf yhgtup-0 gyueswjukmjcuhjc111111111 1111111111

    Seriously though, I can't watch anymore of this. I like you Bennet and I like what you do, but despite the commitment I made to see this...thing all the way through, I'm afraid I have to wash my hands of the whole thing before I become one of America's Most Wanted.
  • Rock N Roll Martian
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    Urgh... his middle name is "Satan" Really? It's been a while since I've read the books, but wasn't Voldemort's middle name not only mentioned, but also a major plot point?

    It's okay, though, because Tom Satan Riddle still anagrams out to... Madras Dot Inlet. Not quite the same ring to it...

    Also, I've got to love how, in this you story, you can apparently make anything sound gothic by simply describing it as "goffik." Screw show-don't-tell writing!
  • Deimos1984rd
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    I salute you Sage, I will never get my sanity back because of this poor excuse of a fucking fanfic.
    It will finally be over soon...
  • TheSkyver
    I just watched this movie...and I spooged lol.
  • kingrat2314
    Dude... Vanilla coke is godly! :(
  • hookahvision
    Wow, just when I think there's no POSSIBLE way I could come to hate Enoby more, or that she could become any more of a Mary Sue, or that Tara could top what she's already written in terms of horribleness, she goes and proves me wrong. Seriously, how many guys of her choice HASN'T she been with? Does she wear the woman's equivalent of AXE (specifically the scent of GOFF) or something? Now, in order to save everybody (which I remind you, she's done TWICE already), she has to... seduce Tom Riddle(NOT Tom Bombadil... seriously, the fact that she made a [u]Lord of the Rings[/u] reference, even if unintentional, makes me die a little inside). I seriously can't get over this. This is beyond any level of suck that I could possibly comprehend or even imagine. I say this with absolute certainty and all seriousness: I WOULD RATHER READ [u]TWILIGHT[/u] THAN THIS FANFIC. That's right, this "author" (in the sense that Uwe Boll can be called a "director") has produced a story that is so utterly terrible, that it has driven me to want to read a book I swore I would never open under pain of death. If it came down to hanging out with Edward Cullen or Enoby, I'd choose Edward without question or hesitation. In the contest of the most annoying and blatant Mary Sue, Enoby wins, hands down. I can only cringe in horror at the atrocious abominations that await me in the last installment of "My Immortal (Torture)."
  • Taminator
    Wow, this is a whole new level of fail.

    And she doesn't even deserve to know what Buffy is...
  • SayaCeline
    I promised myself to see this to the end but it is proving difficult. I mean good lord! I used to write bad fanfiction and I'll freely admit it, but this stuff makes my work look like a freaking masterpiece!

    Seriously I want to know how it ends because I want to know IF it ends! She keeps throwing plot points in and not really doing anything with them! Gaaaaaah!

    It's stories like this that gives fanfiction a bad rep despite some truly wonderful pieces.
  • MichaelDj54
    Gah...I didn't feel this after hearing Beneath the Streets and Beneath the Feets, and I didn't feel this after listening to AVGN and NC's lemon...So I think there might be something wron with me when I say...

    This story makes me want to shower. Thoroughly.
  • Lan
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    My head exploded a quarter of the way into this one, a new record.

    I keep making the mistake of trying to make sense of what she's writing.
  • Satori
    Yes...yeeeeeeesss...SUFFE R! SUFFER MORE!

    That's seriously the only reason I can keep watching these videos. That fic is taxing to listen to.
  • MadManMick
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    I gut an orgy just thinking of part 4 HA! Burn the thing in the next part man
  • DeathsHead419  - Hmm
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    That jump cut at 21:37, you have to puke? I don't blame you.
  • CrazyCatLady  - An ode to "My Immortal"
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    Ho, Tom Bombadil, Tom Bombadil-o!
    Bright blue his jacket is and
    Fook, fook, fook, SATAAAAAAAAN!
  • Heisanevilgenius
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    Even knowing this was purposely written badly as a joke, it's still torture. I tried to pay attention but my brain kept glazing over.
  • Sensei42
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    That's the sad thing... This is 100% serious. No joke, someone actually wrote this thinking it was the greatest thing since Shakespeare.

    *Dies a little inside*
  • hyenafur
    Can someone please kill the author? I thought A Co 181 Brigade Support was full of idiots, this chick makes them look smart.
  • MetalMike007
    Fan fiction by definition is tripe and a sad reflection of the poor self-esteem of the author. I have yet to see a fan fiction that written as well as the original source material and has literary value making it worth the time spent reading or writing it.

    That said, OMFG she did not just call Kurt Cobain and Nirvana "goff1111111111" ... And, Green Day was not in the 80s - their first album was in '94! The sheer convoluted mess this story is disgusting - the fact that at one point she remembered the incident where "Dumblydooor" walked in on her and Draco and "Vampiiire" protected them shocked me that this author proved that she was not in fact, an anterograde amnesiac, and is actually able to remember the shit she had written five minutes ago.

  • mknote
    [quote=MetalMike007]Fan fiction by definition is tripe and a sad reflection of the poor self-esteem of the author. I have yet to see a fan fiction that written as well as the original source material and has literary value making it worth the time spent reading or writing it.[/quote]

    Really? Then you must be reading the wrong stuff, because there's [i]plenty[/i] of counter examples out there. For example, http:// www.fanfiction.net/s/ 1962685/1/ A_Stranger_in_an_Unholy_L and, the best fic I've ever read, or just about anything on http:// forums.darklordpotter.net /. There's plenty of amazing stuff out there if you just know where to look.

    MK
  • Jael
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    Tara Gillespie makes me feel ashamed to be a former fanfic writer and someone who likes to shop at Hot Topic (it's the only place where I can find Invader Zim stuff).

    Dude, I read The DaVinci Code in a day. I had to read Gossip Girl on a dare. And I am crazy about Twilight, and even I know that My Immortal is the most vile, evilest piece of fanfiction ever published in the Harry Potter fandom. May Tara Gillespie forever be punished for her crimes against humanity.

    Bennett, I applaud you for your courage for reading this godawful waste of paper.
  • Limecat
    That's really sad when people who like Twilight think this book is utter tripe. They're basically the same story, but Twilight has better grammar.
  • pomaflah
    That's not true. I like Twilight. It's much... well, I guess I have to resort to my ordinary vocabulary... frummer than any other romance novel. This... is stupid. I hate this. None of these characters are likable, have any real motivation, or can stop swearing long enough to have any character development. That wasn't true of Twilight.
  • Van Ultimo
    avatar
    Poodle bites. Poodle chews it.
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