...kitty? :(
Episode 9: Artemis' Lover
Written by Bennett The Sage Friday, 25 September 2009 21:19
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Comments (175)
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09.25.2009 - 21:24 | SpazzMaster
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09.25.2009 - 22:09 | Cross
I am at a loss for words.:0
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09.25.2009 - 22:03 | JessicaRaineTheInsane
my ears feel violated, but my humor-nerve is delighted.
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02.27.2010 - 19:08 | tigralily
i feel your pain :(
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09.28.2009 - 22:40 | Dr. FibonacciMy immortal was a troll. I cried when I found out. Then I laughed.
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12.12.2009 - 19:04 | YetAnotherGeekThis hasn't been proven yet.
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Good thing the gun I'm holding is fake or my brains might just be on the wall.
Edit: oh, god, I might actually be ill. Sage, you are a better man than I.
...Woa. This should be exhibit D for why our contry seriously needs to upgrade or mental health facilities. I mean, holy shit.
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09.25.2009 - 23:16 | vid3oman64"...unusually fresh for being June 2, 1997, Oscar was walking on a lonely street only with a sprite bottle and WWF magazine. His toughts were racing about why he was so depressed."
lol answered question before asking!
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09.25.2009 - 23:23 | Fiendly
for some reason, i always feel strongly inclined to grab some food just before i watch Masterpiece Fanfic Theatre. for obvious reasons, i always regret it... fantastic acting in this episode. really brought the story to life in a way it absolutely never should have been.
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I had to bail out three minutes in with your last installment but I decided to be a brave girl and tough it out for this episode. I thought "Sailor Moon Abridged" had already warped my vision of Sailor Moon...but "Artemis' Lover" made me want to claw my eyes out. How you managed to get through that whole "story" is beyond me. :X
I tip my metaphorical hat to your bravery, Bennett.
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09.25.2009 - 23:35 | Isaac232
Good freaking god, my brain hurts. This is exactly the thing I can't stand with certain furries. If one is like Oscar here, and just goes to that point where it's just masturbation time, then that guy needs help. And hell, I didn't even expect this to be a Sailor Moon fic, maybe this is why Artemis was drunk in the Abridged series. Cause he certainly lost his mind like Oscar did here!
While painful to have to listen to, it's always nice hearing it from you. I laughed and cried, and I tried to keep the movie playing as much as I could but...these fics are too much.
All I can say is, while I do hold respect to anyone with a fandom, even if it's in furrydom since it's no different from any fandom, if you ever cross the line like Oscar did then I hope you get help asap. Because going out like this, is just wrong, no matter what fandom it is.
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09.25.2009 - 23:37 | trigger12
wow, its just as bad as what some furries wright. someone couldve just as easily thought that cat was anthreopomorphic, thus addint to criminal fator here. there really are some secrets you should keep and take to the grave.
what the hell show was this from?
also, hermamphrodytes arent the worst of it.
there really are much worse things my friwend.
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09.26.2009 - 00:18 | maikeruOh my god I remember discovering this fanfic 10 or 11 years ago. I remember the MSTing of it, as well as a MSTing of another fanfic by Oscar.
As it is... well, he's a furry (he has a DA and FA account, but I'm betting he'd rather people not know he was Oscar), but he's also into bestiality. It's tough to make the distinction, but furry and bestiality are two different things; furry is just another flavor of schediaphilia (the attraction to cartoon characters) in most cases, just manifesting itself in humanoids with cartoon animal characteristics instead of the run of the mill having of the hots for Daphney from Scooby Doo or any other cartoon character.
(well, not counting those dudes who do it in-costume... That's not bestiality, but it's *something*.)
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09.26.2009 - 00:02 | TheNumberOneShmuck
Hate to nitpick, but this is a bestiality story, not a furry one. I don't mind people disliking or even outright hating us (mostly because I can confirm that, like all sexual deviants, we do indeed have a massive chunk among us who are batshit insane), opinions are opinions, after all. But if you're gonna hate, I feel the need to ask that you at least do it right.
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[quote=TheNumberOneShmuck ]Hate to nitpick, but this is a [b]bestiality[/b] story, not a furry one.[/quote]
Didn't think of that. Then again, I assumed this was furry because...don't Artemis and Luna have human forms? Something from the manga says that they took the form of cats for some reason so...
[quote]I don't mind people disliking or even outright hating us (mostly because I can confirm that, like all sexual deviants, we do indeed have a massive chunk among us who are batshit insane), opinions are opinions, after all. But if you're gonna hate, I feel the need to ask that you at least do it right.[/quote]
Yeah, it just sucks for people to say one or two words of hate just by the mere mention of the word. For me, I don't hate. I only hate people who go off writing stuff like Oscar did, because it makes me wonder if he openly admits doing stuff like that. And of course this was already confusing since while you say bestiality, I thought it more like furry because of manga circumstance.
Either way, I just don't want to hear anything about masturbating over something. That isn't just for the furries, it's for everyone in any fandom.
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09.26.2009 - 00:16 | artimusTo me, furries are cool. Some suck, but there are sucky people in EVERY taboo or non-taboo group. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!!!!! ACCUSATIONS! ACCUSATIONS!!!!!!!!
Anyway, that being said. These fan fictions are...interesting to say the least. I was hoping you'd do this guy's work...he's a dick. I love the story where he kills a gay dude for "trying to turn him gay" and Usagi just says his murder was absolUTELY justified.
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09.26.2009 - 00:18 | Strider_Reborn
What the hell is Rule 34?
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09.26.2009 - 00:55 | Aquablack
If it exists, there is porn of it.
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[quote=artimus]I was hoping you'd do this guy's work...he's a dick. I love the story where he kills a gay dude for "trying to turn him gay" and Usagi just says his murder was absolUTELY justified.[/quote]
Isn't that David Gonterman? Sailor Moon American Kitsune or whatever? I remember his author avatar in that fanfic giving a Reason You Suck speech to Zoicite that basically said "I'm gonna kill you because someone called me gay when I was in school; also you're gay, which means you're evil!"
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09.26.2009 - 00:40 | artimusAh, you might be right. I googled "Oscar fic" and assumed that was his work.
And now I'm all excited for the 10th episode! Damn you, teaser Sage! DAMN YOU!
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03.26.2010 - 02:17 | eye
Oh my christ, and I thought I had a good idea of how pathetic Daveykins was...
This is a new and entirely more horrible low :(
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[quote=Isaac232]I assumed this was furry because...don't Artemis and Luna have human forms? Something from the manga says that they took the form of cats for some reason so...[/quote]
I dunno, I don't follow Sailor Moon, but here, Artemis is clearly stated to be a cat, so that just sorta seals it.
[quote]I just don't want to hear anything about masturbating over something. That isn't just for the furries, it's for everyone in any fandom.[/quote]
Seriously. I thought that was what all those specialized communities and imageboards were for: talking about specific, socially awkward interests with other people who are willing to discuss them. Y'know instead of that schmo on GameFAQs who gives you death threats when you try it there.
Apparently not, because I still see people all over the internet who can't just shut the fuck up and take it to the place created SPECIFICALLY for people who share their tastes. Can't we all just do that instead? I'd imagine things would be a lot less uncomfortable that way.
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09.26.2009 - 00:31 | DoomPL
lol wierd
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09.26.2009 - 01:01 | EarthboundXE
Wow, that was gross, but I think the last fic was even grosser.
Nice work Sage, I loved it in the beginning when you said "What the fuck!"
I had to rewatch that part a few times, haha.
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09.26.2009 - 01:07 | Maverick21
he already did halo, halos in space, new we need return of squirrel king, Half lif, Full life consequences.
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STILL NOT CLEAN!!!!! :angry:
OH GOD :angry:
STILL NOT CLEAN!!! EARS ARE BLEEDING :angry:
GRAAAAAAAUGH :angry:
I cannot describe the anger and disgust that I feel... that was fucking disturbing I mean...wow.
Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to cry in the corner in a fetal position.
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09.26.2009 - 01:23 | ginger0215
this is fucking disgusting
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[quote=Strider_Reborn] What the hell is Rule 34?[/quote]"if it exists there is a porn of it"... also this story violtaed me :
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09.27.2009 - 09:14 | Son0fNoneforgon????
made me LOL
I have love/hate relationship with rule 34
huged him????
lol
Mewowuch??????????LOL WTF
this furry gives furries a bad name and hurts the fandom.
I've been called a furry because I like furry art and I kinda want a fursuit and I've see yikffy porn and fanfics like these before with furruies and anime
I think furries and anime fans should try a little bit harder to hide the porn side of their fandom.
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09.26.2009 - 02:06 | SomewhatThe introduction was enough to evoke tears of despair... Poor kitty.
"Doesn't it matter that you're a human and I'm a cat?" :(
As horrific as this was... I still laughed. Does that make me as bad as Oscar?
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09.26.2009 - 02:09 | The Monster Guy
Excellent review, as always. :)
Aw, come on, not even a hint about the next episode? It's such a long wait! ;)
I've never read Artemis' Lover before, and frankly, I wish I could still say that. I think I may actually need to go throw up, now. Excuse me...
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09.26.2009 - 02:24 | Lotus Prince
God damn, this story is disgusting. I can't believe a 13-year-old wrote it. And made himself a hermaphrodite. Who likes cats. From Sailor Moon.
I mean, seriously, what the hell.
Also, I don't know how you do it, Bennett, but your constant deadpan delivery is astounding. I can't believe you didn't start laughing, or even stutter throughout that whole 20-minute delivery. Kudos to you, sir.
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09.26.2009 - 03:30 | Bennett the Sage
Oh, I did stutter my words from time to time, you can see some obvious jump cuts.
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09.26.2009 - 08:06 | Sigmanonymous
So far, I can't blame ya for anythin that comes up from this story. *finishes watching, then goes to kill himself*
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09.26.2009 - 21:26 | Lotus PrinceAh, gotcha. I was going back and forth between windows, as this was mostly audio based, though I checked back relatively often to see if you had any of those amusing superimposed titles, like "That's exactly what I said before filming this."
Genius! Genius, I tell you!
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09.26.2009 - 02:28 | Myth3842Say whaaaaat!!??
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09.26.2009 - 02:30 | TheAtomic
"Damn! I Hate Being Such A Sexy Cat!"
Now I have to get one of my friends to hear this so I don't sound insane when I scream it and burst into laughter.
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09.26.2009 - 12:13 | SomewhatI KNOW! It's one of those lines that just HAS to be repeated! I'm also tempted to hesitantly ask my friends "Doesn't it matter that you're human and I am a cat?" but, they probably wouldn't understand.
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09.26.2009 - 02:35 | DrowinBaenre
[quote=maikeru]Oh my god I remember discovering this fanfic 10 or 11 years ago. I remember the MSTing of it, as well as a MSTing of another fanfic by Oscar.
[/quote]
It was around that time that I first caught wind of this- *thing.* My friends and I had all managed to stumble on to it the same day and when we bumped into each other the next day, the looks of horror from what we had read shone clearly on our faces. :shock: We all decided to never speak of it. :whistle:
Then, somehow, Oscar kept working his way into our projects, either as a comedic one-off villain or "death-mill" fodder. :evil:
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