Angry Reviews - Assassin's Creed III

(50 votes, average 4.34 out of 5)
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Comments (36)
  • Gomdori88
    Great review as always joe!
  • thorondragon
    geez man, lay off the ragichinos. can't go shanking people like that dude. now you gotta run around and rip posters off of walls.

    hmm, good news though for an upcoming game, Bioshock Infinite. Randy pitchford, head of Gearbox, full on said that after playing the game after being invited to by his bioshock's creators, his mind was blown. apparently he had to be digistructed a new body after the brain explosion.

    i know they aren't big time rivals, not like verizon and every other phone company in existence, and are kinda partners, but it takes a lot of guts to praise another company work.

    so we may have high hopes for infinite. though gearbox did release duke nukem, though that seemed to be a major obligation over a want to do so.
  • Fangheart
    avatar
    Benjamin Franklin was in this game? oh, yeah, he was......for all of 30 seconds...

    I used to like the Desmond segments, though in more recent games they've gotten so depressing that I just don't care anymore...

    that plot twist in the beginning caught me way off guard, and I've played all AC games, don't what your talking about...although I'm not really a critic so...

    could not agree more on your opinion of Connor, I felt like he was so much more disconnected from Ezio and Altair and the Assassin's order in general. he just seemed way too separate.

    yes, I did ignore all the pointless little mini side games.

    oh yeah, the Battle of Bunker Hill at the end was so annoying. I wasn't stupid enough to run head long into the mass of soldiers (seriously Joe?) but I still died a lot just trying to sneak across the battle field, and I swear to God the guards in this game are all psychic, they just KNOW when you're there. they always saw me, no matter how sneaky I was.


    oh God, YES the Navel missions were AWESOME! I loved them! probably one of the best parts of the game play in the whole game.

    yeah, the ending was just....ugh. it certainly wasn't Mass Effect 3 bad, but it was still pretty bitter sweet. I did not care for it. it was so vague and half assed, that people are now saying there are gonna be more Assassin's Creed games without Desmond, with a new Modern Day protagonist. and Pivots? yeah, I still have no fricken clue what that was all about. I just ignored that and went about my business.

    All in all, Assassin's Creed 2 is still my all time favorite. and I think I like the Ezio Trilogy more than the over all franchise as well.
  • PlayMp1
    avatar
    Let's see... Spoilers ahead.





    The plot twist in the beginning was easy to see coming if you noticed certain verbal tics of Haytham (for those who haven't played, he's the character you play as before Connor) and his associates. All that stuff about "order" and "control" that came up every so often was a little marker indicating that they were in fact Templars.

    I also agree with Connor being boring. Yes, we all heap praise on Ezio, but that's because Ezio was goddamn cool, and was interesting for both his smooth awesomeness and his introspection. Connor, meanwhile, is brash, stupid and not likable as a person - very quiet, and when he does speak, he's whining.

    Battle of Bunker Hill was annoying, but I kind of saw it coming. I mean, from a logical perspective, would you expect the soldiers to *not* aim for the random jackass wearing obvious white clothing running across the battlefield in the open? Connor was lucky there was enough cover!

    Naval missions were sweet, as were the Peg Leg missions (not the trinkets, the missions you unlocked by getting the trinkets). The former were badass, Pirates-esque ordeals, and the latter were distilled free-running, and way more interesting than AC2's or AC:B's ruins and tombs.

    And yes, the ending kinda blew, but with the direction they took after AC:B, what could you expect? There were too many plot threads running into each other at once. It was beginning to resemble Metal Gear with its what-the-fuckery.

    For reference, my favorite was AC:B. I loved the takeover dynamic, the assassin recruits (I actually characterized them in my head as they leveled up), and the combat, and there were some really cool missions too. There weren't any annoying crafting dynamics either... I completely didn't pay attention to the bomb-making system in ACR or the big ol' crafting... thing in AC3.
  • ColeYote
    avatar
    Am I just the only one on the planet who actually *likes* the modern-day stuff in these games? It's an interesting framing device.

    Also, can I just say I think people overrate 2 a little bit? I mean yeah, it's a great game, but it's not on some pedestal above every other game in the series.
  • Fangheart
    avatar
    no, I like the Modern day stuff too. or at least I did until they killed Lucy, and decided that she was gonna have been a Templar in secret the whole time, that really kinda sucked. and then they brought in that Juno bitch, and then of course there was the ending to AC3, which again was so vague and bitter sweet. they were interesting before, but but in Revelations and AC3, the Desmond stuff just seems so depressing...

    and I just like AC2 the best because of minor things. I know Brotherhood and Revelations have some things that are improved upon, like combat and weapons and multilayer and the Assassin Recruits mechanic, and I really like those things, but I just really like the atmosphere and ominous feeling you get in AC2. AC2 has a better soundtrack with more ambient and mysterious songs, it just makes for a cooler atmosphere. plus, Venice is awesome, easily the best location in the whole franchise. and I'm a Bostonian, I was really looking forward to playing an Assassin's Creed game in a 250 year younger version of my home city, and it was kinda cool I guess, but I STILL like Venice better. that should tell you something..
  • deusexmarine21
    Annoying and distracting wig is annoying and distracting. Also happy hands. Progressively worse happy hands.

    Content wise, solid as always, but he was playing with his hair at least every 20 seconds. That made it a little hard to concentrate on anything else.
  • Niveus
    avatar
    @deusex: Frankly, keeping the hands active is a great way to keep attention on the speaker; it's not terribly useful in video, of course, but in public speaking (NOT pedestal speaking) the use of hands to keep attention centered is an important and useful trick. He never actually flails, so really, don't make a big deal out of it. Can't really argue with the hair thing, though I don't think it was half as distracting as you make it out to be.

    Anyways, Assassin's Creed III. All in all, while I think Connor was the least relatable of the three primary characters - and Desmond as well, I suppose - I do think they do a decent job of justifying it. Mind you, I wish they'd justified him being more relatable, but at least he's not disconnected because of unnamed reasons. The ending was... frustrating, to say the least. There wasn't nearly enough time spent on the decision to make it seem like an intelligent one... though of course, given that it was a Morton's fork, there wasn't really any winning anyway. It's one of the few games where I honestly hope that the marketing group says "It's selling too well, make an ACIV!", and capitalize on the hints that Desmond's whole role might have been as some future-person's avatar in another Animus... too many unanswered questions in this one, and VERY unsatisfying. Not even bittersweet, just... unsatisfying.

    However, I will say this: the final assassination in the story mode is just... uaagh, it's amazing. It was really the only time aside from the village fire where I had empathety towards Connor. And it was just such a beautiful, well done scene... Wish Joe had mentioned it, but then again, spoilers... and since it does happen in the middle of so much crap, it's easy to overlook.
  • jslaver07
    avatar
    Honestly, I disagree with most of this review, Conner was far better than Ezio, I want a serious assassin, Ezio was the worst, he was not doing anything for honor, or glory, he was doing it all to get laid, which does not speak well for assassins, Conner kept his eye on the prize in what he was supposed to do, protect his people, he was focused on something more than himself, which is more than Ezio ever did.

    Desmond sections were really well done, while yes, they did make combat far too easy, it was fun, in fact if they were to make an AC4 they should make the whole "Bleeding effect" they talked about through the whole series have a point instead of the way the ending has it all amount to nothing, AC4 would be good to play as nothing but Desmond the whole time.

    Naval battles were amazing, and I never had any problem with rooftop runs, the tree climbing mechanic was really nice in that it gave you a way to air assassinate most enemies, or at least the get drop on a few. The collection of almanac pages, was tedious, as all it did was give a few new recipes, I agree with that and the fact that it tells you where they all are was also annoying.

    I liked the lockpicking minigame, it's more realistic to picking a lock, that makes it better in my opinion. It more annoys me that Ezio got 3 games whereas Altair and Conner only get one, when Ezio was my least favorite, he was vastly uninteresting and a flat character, Altair evolved, the cutscenes in the fits AC served to see how he had changed through his assassinations, Ezio over the course of 3 games remained the same, never grew, never learned anything.

    They could've done a few things better, but overall I think it was the best of the series.

    All that being said hope to see more from you Joe, not sure if you're a fan of Halo, but if so only buy Halo 4 for multiplayer, that's about all it did right
  • Fangheart
    avatar
    what games were you playing? almost everything you just said about Ezio is downright wrong. as in incorrect. I'm not talking about your opinions, I mean the statements you said are false. Ezio grew and learned plenty, his goals were driven by vengeance and then justice, his character had multiple sides to it, he was clever, smart, and well rounded. did you even play the Ezio Trilogy? Conner was just more like "I'm a video game character, I will go do what the programming tells me to do now." Conner didn't have that much of a soul, and Ezio had a extremely prominent soul. he felt real, he felt like a protagonist. Conner did not.
  • Vinge327
    That wig. That. Wig.

    Good review, though I'm a little surprised the whole "make items to sell so that you can get more stuff to make more items to sell" did not anger you more.
  • jslaver07
    avatar
    I was playing the same games, Ezio is a flat character pretending to be rounded, is it any surprise when he does anything? Does he ever change his mind about what was right and wrong? Conner even teams up with his dad, even though they have seperate beliefs, when the goals intertwine, they work together, Ezio would just kill him and do it himself. Boring. Conner felt more realistic as an assassin, he was steadfast, determined and upheld his honor, didn't let his own concerns come before that which he was attempting to accomplish. The only reason I think people regard Ezio highly is because he had more games, this game was rushed and they decided to end the series, but Conner struck me as more interesting. I prefer discipline in my characters as opposed to playing a 14 year old in an adults body that is only trying to sleep with people left and right. If they had taken more time on the game and expanded on it, this would have been the best game, but the original AC is still the best in my mind, with this as a close second, then brotherhood. It's all about how the characters carry themselves, Ezio is a horny schoolboy, while Conner is single mindedly seeking revenge and to protect his people. And the fact they had to throw a new love interest in every game with Ezio, was unneeded, Altair had no lover, Conner had no lover, feels more like an assassin to me.
  • Fangheart
    avatar
    I swear to God you're just making this shit up...that fact that you honestly see Ezio that way....it must be your personality type. you have no sense of lightheartedness and fun.

    plus, Ezio is only playing the romantic like.....15% of the time. AC2 and Brotherhood don't even HAVE a love interest, not a real one anyway. I can think of dozens and dozens of instances where Ezio is serious. but I'm not wasting my time trying to convince you.
  • wretchu
    Umm... what? You realize that you're completely contradict yourself, right? Connor has NO depth. You talk about him changing his mind, why did you think he did that? Because at the time, it benefited the mission he was on. He didn't "change his mind" about his father; he just decided that the enemy of his enemy was his friend. That is not depth; that's just basic strategy. He still knew at some point he'd be going to kill Haytham in the end. He later tried to change Haytham's mind and avoid it, but more than anything that's just his naivety shining through. You can't point to a single instance and try to claim that that's character development; it's not. Character development is an evolution of the entire character, not a single event that maybe-kinda-sorta is slightly different from how he's acted up to that point. Connor has one goal, and everything he does relates to that goal; that is the definition of being a flat character.

    And really? You want to say Ezio is a 14 year old in an adult's body? Did you even PLAY AC3? All Connor did was whine and bitch (when he wasn't being a boring piece of wood). Or are you just conveniently ignoring pretty much every cutscene he had with Achilles? The only time he had any personality at all was when he was acting like a rebellious teenager. He's not a "serious" character, he's a kid acting like what he thinks a "serious" person acts like.

    You complain about Ezio being a horny schoolboy, and while that's true early in AC2, you obviously missed the point where he became less and less about that and more about becoming a leader of the assassins and getting revenge for his family, and later stopping the templars out of more of a sense of justice. That's how you have real character development. For you to even claim that Ezio is the same character at the beginning of AC2 that he was at the end of Revelations just shows how ignorant you are being to prove your point.

    The problem with not having any kind of love interest at all is that it runs completely counter to the point of the game. You're not playing as Altair, or Ezio, or Connor, you're playing as Desmond playing as the assassins, and the only reason he is able to relive those memories is because he has a genetic tie to those assassins.

    Seriously, it just shows you have no idea what depth and character development actually are. Having a character spend his entire time being boring and emotionless, driven by a single goal throughout the entire story, THAT is a flat, unchanging character. However, when you have a character that starts out as a troublemaking playboy, grows into a young man driven by revenge, and as an old man finally wants to stop an evil force out of a more noble sense of honor and protecting future generations, THAT is development. Having other motivations outside of that one goal - including love interests - THAT is depth.
  • GamingJustified  - Wait,be a female assassin for the first time?
    You can be a female assain in brotherhood and revelations but great review.
  • Sebastian_Havelock
    avatar
    Fuck the American Civil War: Crimea next. Hang out with Mary Seacole and Florence Nightingale.
  • Dude
    avatar
    Joe, what are you talking about when you said that fans will see the twist coming a mile off. I am a huge fan of the series (I have even read the books based on the games) and I never saw it coming. I thought it was a very well done twist.
  • Lightice
    You're not going to see a lot of 19th century battlefield stuff in a game set in the 18th century, Joe. ;-)

    Personally I still hope a game set during the French Revolution. It's a lot more suitable in the style of Assassin's Creed than the American Revolution, in spite of being thematically similar, and it also allows the utilization of moral grays better without an entire nation raging out for your blood, like you had to fear with Revelations and AC3.
  • PlayMp1
    avatar
    Agreed, the French Revolution would be amazing. They should also do some other lesser-known conflict - it may be time for the AC series to go to Asia. Opium Wars, perhaps?
  • Stultiloquy
    Damn Joe, just get a hair tie for your wig already. lol

    I for one have never cared for the modern day sequences in this series, they always caught me as an unnecessary distraction, especially considering what an intolerable twit Desmond is.

    I've always felt that the historical locales should provide more than enough in theme and mood to serve as a suitable framing device. You have this grand environment, set in a past time and place, so let the story develop through it; I don't need the superfluous intercessions into something I couldn't care less about.
  • Zachary Amaranth
    avatar
    Unfunny, racist, AND poor presentation?

    Occasionally, I check back into Angry Joe to see if he's improved. This is a step down. Wow.
  • ColeYote
    avatar
    Sorry, what? Racist?
  • Extreme-Madness  - re:Zachary Amaranth -___-
    avatar
    "Unfunny, racist, AND poor presentation?"

    Because you have not told the actual argument, this will be considered as pathetic trolling.
  • Eyeshot
    avatar
    When I read that some parts of the game have you partake in battles, I imagined running across a chaotic battlefield trying to reach the enemy commander who's next on your hit list. But just like Joe, I was disappointed by never seeing that happen.

    I wish I was recording a play session when I stepped into a room and saw Achilles ... and his five clones standing around him. It was weird all right; weirder still was seeing and hearing them all greet me in separate voices as if they were all individuals!

    I beat AC3 two days ago, and I feel confident in announcing that this game is the latest casualty in the war against used games! The ending is a big disappointment, mostly because there's no final boss battle! There's a chase sequence followed by some cut scenes, and then that's it. There's very little sense of accomplishment, which is always unsatisfying. I believe the developers intentionally made this so in order to persuade players to fork over more cash for a bloody season pass. The four content packs (most of which are still upcoming) will presumably have great boss battles and a more satisfying ending.

    Screw you, Ubisoft!
  • Urka
    avatar
    @Fangheart: AC2 and Brotherhood had love interests, especially Catarina. The ENTIRETY of Sequence 4 in Brotherhood is dedicated to rescuing her. And while it is important for the Assassin Brotherhood's security, the reason Ezio prioritized it above taking out any of the Borgia spawn is because he got laid before Monteriggioni blew. There's a reason they have that big long conversation during the sneaking sequence where you have to carry her. So even if it she didn't feel the same way, she was a real love interest.

    I'll grant you he's serious quite a large part of the time, but overly petulant sometimes when it comes to his "seriousness". Especially where Claudia was concerned. He acted like a giant baby to her before she got inducted into the Brotherhood, despite the fact that he was never around to care for her or his mother and left her running things in AC2. It just made his games so painful to play through at times, when you know that everything is going to be the exact same thing.

    Oh, and by the way, not sure about the person you were directing the comment at, but I like lightheartedness and fun plenty. I liked a lot Ezio in the beginning, before I realized I had to deal with three games of the exact same thing. Would have rather had more Altair.
  • CyborgPrince
    avatar
    I'm trying to just skim the comments in case there are any spoilers. I still need to finish the first game. It's fun, though quite hard in some parts. That's a sign of a good game. I haven't played any of the other ones yet, so I need to get caught up.

    For some reason when the video started, it was set at 240p. I was wondering why the video quality was so bad. Luckily I then realised it and changed it to 1080p. Also, interesting character. I liked the Tommy Wiseau hair.
  • SilverFoxR  - AJ AC3 Drinking Game!
    Great review, Joe! It's a shame that AC3 fell a little flat. Perhaps it's because they were starting a new subseries with Connor and tried to make it a bit safe, who can say?

    Either way, one thing I have to bring up is something that I just couldn't ignore during the review... and something that inspired me to make...

    "The Angry Joe Assassin's Creed 3 Drinking Game!"

    How does it go? Well, get your favourite booze out and some shot glasses, folks... it's really easy and will get you hammered in no time! Simply put... take a shot every time Joe flips his wig back over his shoulder!

    Man, Joe! I'd almost wanna put a counter on the hair flips you did in the review, because WOW... you did it a lot! Must have been annoying filming the review with that wig falling in front of your face over and over.
  • Hariman
    I watched a spoiler video of Assassin's Creed 3's ending.

    Words cannot describe my regret in EVER watching anything directly related to this series now that I have seen that.

    The first game's ending was bad enough to make me say "F*** YOU GAME!", and that non ending was enough to make me want to punch the clowns in the dev team who didn't budget time right and whatever causes these idiotic non endings that run on throughout too many games.
  • alldreamsfalldown
    avatar
    -Why did you give Desmond an accent? He's American and so are you. At least he looks like Desmond again and not like Adam Sandler in Revelations.

    -First time as a female assassin? You could play as female characters in Brotherhood and Revelatiosn's multiplayer too.
  • devilduk
    avatar
    I find Total War: Empire naval battles to be quite the adventure as well. seems like its the RTS form for this naval system
  • Guild Navigator
    avatar
    I'm waiting for Black Friday to get this game.

    LOL at the Half Baked reference at the end.
  • Clawfinger  - Joe!
    Will you review Planetside 2? Since you liked BF3, this expands on that and you might like it!
  • 04rlane  - Don't Dis Desmond or AC3
    Joe I respect you and your opinion but on this game you are wrong, the single player is much better than you make it out to be (I am not much of a multiplayer guy so that and the fact that I still really like this game should tell you something). First of all concesions to you, I will admit the dialoge in this game is not as smooth as in others, and Connor while not as good as Ezio is still a decent character and I actually did feel for him, also while the game might not have been as epic or huge as we were accpecting I really thought they did a good job on this. Yes I will admit AC2 still holds the title as the best AC game so far but this one in my opinion grabs a close second or third (I liked Brotherhood alot as well), now for Desmond, I have heard alot of crap spouted about this character but yours was the last straw, ok he's no Ezio and I will admit that was by far the best character in this entire serires but come on, Desmond has been in every single game we get to know him throughout all of them and without him we wouldn't be able to learn as much about the story. In AC3 during the times where you can wander around the temple I found myself talking to the other characters almost every chance I got and learning as much as I could, you even get to see more of Juno and what the 1st CIV was doing in there. And now my final greivence with this review the ENDING, honestly while I did predict one or two elements of it from what I learned while playing I was not expecting the ultimate outcome and honestly while it wasn't as big or powerful as I thought I actually really liked it and when I thought back on it well of course it dosen't present you with a choice Desmond made his mind up a long time ago, Juno knew this that was her plan all along.

    So just wanted to get that off my chest I have other problems with this review but I won't burden people with them unless people ask me about them. Joe I know you mean well but sometimes the best elements of a game are not the most awasome.
  • 2wingo  - Connor vs. Ezo
    avatar
    I feel like I'm committing sacrilege by saying this, but I deeply prefer Connor over Ezio.

    He's a flatter character, yes, but he's flat in the same way that Carter Greyson from "Power Rangers Lightspeed Rescue" was flat: he doesn't change a whole lot because he doesn't really need to.
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