Luigi Cozzi is not a name that people associate with genre films.  That's a shame too, since he's made some damn good ones!  Actually, to be fair, only a couple of them are really good.  More importantly, his films were freaking insane!  This man made a slew of films that include Sinbad of the Seven Seas, Hercules and Starcrash.  Fun fact: I own all of those films!  For all of you that don't know the bizarre genius of Luigi Cozzi (often credited as Lewis Coates), you soon will.  I'm going to break down 12 of the craziest moments of his cinematic work.  If you aren't a fan yet, you will be.  Enjoy...

12. Secret Asian Man (Sinbad of the Seven Seas): This Sinbad film- allegedly based on an Edgar Allen Poe short story- starts out ridiculous by introducing you to the crew.  Sinbad (played by Lou Ferrigno) is joined by a midget, a Viking, a young guy who's our romantic lead and...a Chinese guy?  Yes, there is an Asian man on his crew, making him the only one in the movie!  To add to the confusion, his catchphrase is 'Confucius Says,' while he's credited as 'Samurai.'  Huh?

11. 'I'm just gonna die now' (Starcrash): Cozzi's career highlight is a film that features a former-preacher-turned-actor.  The lead is played by Marjoe Gortner (Google him) and has the ability to manipulate energy of all sorts.  Right before the final battle, he is shot and apparently overloaded with power.  He's not really wounded though.  He pretty much just gives up on life.  Why?  Were you bored?

10. Morals? (The Killer Must Kill Again):  During the time that Giallo was king, it's only natural that Cozzi took part.  The film involves a pair of 'teens' who steal a car to go on vacation, unaware that it stores a recently-dead body.  The killer chases them down and catches the girl when she is alone.  He tortures and rapes her- robbing her of her virginity.  Where is her boyfriend?  He's off sleeping with a woman he just met!  It's okay, because it all balances out.  The woman he just met- she gets killed by the rapist.  Wait- I think you missed something...

9. Swamp Thing? (Sinbad of the Seven Seas): After being thwarted by Jafar, Sinbad must retrieve a series of magical baubles to steal the man's power.  The quest takes him all over the globe, a trip aided and hindered by magic.  In one of the final fights, he battles a giant, muck monster...in a cave.  That's not crazy enough for you?  Fine- it shoots lasers too!  That's what you get for questioning Luigi Cozzi, bitches!

Check it out (about three minutes in): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lG6tXQ-DEFU&feature=related

8. Hercules' Exploits (Hercules): Cozzi's Hercules does not play around...or follow logic.  Hercules does many fantastical feats in the film, most of which defy common sense.  He leaps over a pair of blade-covered chariots, followed by standing there and letting the blades break against his legs.  In another moment, he's grown to giant heights by Circe and separates Europe from Africa with his bare hands!  That factoid doesn't even make it into Texas-produced textbooks.  My favorite though: he has to get a chariot to take him to an island, so he chucks a rock through space!  The rock manages to spin around a planet in space and take him right to where he needs to be.  Sure- why not?!?

7. What a conspiracy! (Contamination): The film- also known as Alien Contamination or Alien Comes to Earth- is a cult hit respected by few and remembered by even less.  The story involves a slew of alien eggs that emit a fluid that, when exposed to human flesh, cause a person's chest to explode!  It's all a plan, you see, by an astronaut who went to Mars, faked his own death and hid the remaining in a South American fruit factory.  What inspired that plan?!?

6. That's why the movie is called that?!? (Starcrash): Did you ever wonder why the film is called Starcrash?  Well, I can tell you, but you'll probably think I'm joking.  In the final battle between good and evil, the Emperor of the Universe sends his ship careening into that of his enemy.  The name of this simple tactic- Star Crash.  No, really.

5. A One-Eyed Monster! (Contamination): The final battle of the film had to live up to the hype- it does!  Our heroes work their way into the factory, shooting up a whole slew of henchmen along the way.  They get recaptured, however, and taken before the force behind the eggs- a giant, cyclops alien!  Of course, in true low-budget fashion, the suit famously did not work.  As such, they had to edit the hell out of this scene, chopping it into over two dozen quick shots to replicate true motion.  You're a master, Luigi!

4.  You're All Made of Stars (Hercules 2): The final battle of this film does not fail to excite and confuse either.  Minos has gotten the powers of a god, despite the fact that he hates it- don't ask.  Hercules is given a power-up by Zeus and the two do battle...in space.  They turn gigantic and proceed to turn into neon cartoon drawings.  When a fist fight doesn't work, they both turn into animals- Herc as a monkey and Minos as a dragon.  For the final fight, they turn back to human shapes and...do the same ending from the last film's final fight.  Yes, they rotoscoped over the original fight to save money.  Are you really surprised?

3. BEAR!!!! (Hercules): The penultimate moment of the film actually occurs in the first twenty minutes!  Hercules is out chopping wood when his father is attacked...by stock footage of a bear.  Damn you, Wild America!  He shows up too late to save the day, so he has to get his revenge.  What does he do?  He tosses the bear into outer space!  Hey kids, that's how we got the famous constellation.  Look it up.  On second thought, you probably shouldn't...

Check it out here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhE0NLGCcxY

2. Why does your ship have that? (Starcrash): Before the final battle (see above), Cozzi had one last trick up it's sleeve.  The villain traps our heroes on a planet where he was hiding a super weapon and sets it to self-destruct (the planet, not the weapon).  In comes The Emperor of the Galaxy (Christopher Plummer) to save the day with a beam on his ship.  He utters this immortal line: 'Imperial battleship- halt the flow of time!'  That's right- he has a beam on his ship that freezes time.  Fun fact: Christopher Plummer was paid $10,000 dollars a day (in 1978 money) to say stuff like that.

1. The Birth of the Universe (Hercules): The beginning of this film manages to be crazier than anything that follows.  The universe, you see, was created when Pandora's Vase (not a box) was destroyed, creating all life in the cosmos, including the Gods.  The Gods made their base on the moon and realized that the evils of the universe (which it created) were also unleashed, so they created a being from pure light: Hercules.  To make him be on Earth, they shoot this ball of light (which looks like something dirty) into an already-born child, forcibly-possessing the baby.  Let's save the Earth by possessing children- just because.

For more films from Luigi Cozzi, check out my homepage.  It has air in space too.

Up next, let's take a two-week look at some Forgotten TV Spin-Offs.  This is not a spin-off itself though.  Stay tuned...