Moments in Greek Mythology

Basically a semi serious yet funny look at all the glorious and epic moments that have occurred over in the annals of Greek Mythology. (Will I look at other mythologies, maybe but for now I stay with the Hellenes)

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05 DMOGM- Prometheus

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There was a time when the Olympians did not rule the Earth, but instead a barbarous race of immortals know as the Titans in a time known by mythologists as the Titanomachy. Soon the next generation (the Olympians) rose and fought against the Titans in a war of epic proportions. A war that  included three hundred handed brothers throwing mountains at the Titan's stronghold. Now some of the Titans helped the Olympians usurp Kronos from power. This is where Prometheus comes in, he is a being of great foresight and thus when saw that the Titans weren't going to win, decided to stand at the Olympians side. One has to wonder though, did Prometheus see the massive dick move by the god he helped become master of the universe?

Umm, didn't I help your sorry asses?

Not only was Prometheus a being of incredible foresight, but also was the creator of  the human race. You see the world was left void and lifeless after the Titanomachy, so Prometheus and his hind-sighted brother Epimetheus (husband of the notorious Pandora) decided to repopulate the Earth. Epimetheus created all the animals and gave them all the natural defenses to survive and thrive. However, Prometheus took some clay and molded mankind (but no women), but did not give them any claws or fur to fight off his brother's beasts and the bitter cold. Prometheus saw his dying creations, went up to Zeus and begged him to give humanity the ability to use fire.  Taking a book out of any dictator, he rejected the request of the man who helped him accumulate this great power.

 

I regret nothing!

Finally after seeing enough of his creations starve and freeze to death, Prometheus took matters in his own hands and stole fire and gave it to his mortal creations. When Zeus saw all the firepits and fires forming by man he got extremely pissed off and decided to teach Prometheus a lesson.

Okay, I actually may have regretted doing that

So this is what Zeus did, he ordered Prometheus to be chained on Mt. Caucasus and have giant vultures eat at Prometheus' liver. Not only this cause great pain, but because Prometheus was immortal his liver would just regenerate and the cycle would continue for the next day and on and on. Ironically, because Prometheus knew of a prophecy that could usurp Zeus, Zeus allowed his favorite son Heracles to kill the vultures and release him. This prophecy turned out to be for Zeus not to rape this one chick (which is hard for him to do after all) and in the end a king named Peleus marries that chick and they have a son named Achilles.

Next time- Agamemnon vs Artemis  



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