My blog series is so awesome I get to make a Christmas Special! YAY! And it's number 25! YAY! And I even made a title card! YAY!

What a masterpiece! I'm the greatest artist ever! Eat dirt, Rembrandt!

Every Who down in Whoville
Liked Christmas a lot,
But the Grinch, who lived just north of Whoville,
Did NOT!

I am a very Christmas-y person. I just love the feel of the thing, the snow, the decorat... what? Oh, okay. The villain. Well... he's green, he's mean, he's the Grinch! And boy, is he a mean one.

Everybody knows How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Everybody knows what this hideous green manmonsterthing did do the poor Whos. And I don't know about you, but I quite like the Grinch. Grumpy, antisocial, and downright mean, the Grinch is just plain bad. Just look at him.

If this isn't awesomely evil, then I'm Santa Claus.

Yes, this guy isn't just one of my favorite villains ever, he's one of my favorite characters ever. Which isn't saying much, since all my favorite characters ever are villains. AnyWHO (pun!), let's get on with it. And relatable, too! Imagine every year being annoyed by the bells and the singing and the noises and the OH MY EARS THEY HURT! All you want is to live your quiet, mean life, but those Whos just have to enjoy themselves in loud ways! My friends, I would do the same. I would make a St Nick disguise and steal Christmas from those fuckers. That'd teach them!

The Grinch is as sly and cunning as a fox. He did his evil deed literally over night. Ninjas apparently come in green now. And he's pretty smart (and heartless) too, as he's only spotted once while stealing the Christmas tree, and even then he cons the little girl. Sure it's a four- TWO-year-old, so what? Conning is always tough. I should know - I have a few bruises that prove just that.

Yes, I stole your Christmastuffs. Have a complimentary pat in the head.

But hey, this is for kids. When he's about to destroy every toy, every tree, every decoration he stole from the Whos, he gets ready to hear the Whos' laments. Instead...

So he paused. And the Grinch put his hand to his ear.

And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.

It started in low. Then it started to grow.

But the sound wasn’t sad! Why, this sound sounded merry!

It couldn’t be so! But it WAS merry! VERY!

He stared down at Whoville! The Grinch popped his eyes!

Then he shook! What he saw was a shocking surprise!

Every Who down in Whoville, the tall and the small,

Was singing! Without any presents at all!

He HADN’T stopped Christmas from coming! IT CAME!

Somehow or other, it came just the same!

And the Grinch, with his grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow,

Stood puzzling and puzzling: “How could it be so?”

“It came with out ribbons! It came without tags!”

“It came without packages, boxes or bags!”

And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore.

Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before!

“Maybe Christmas,” he thought, “doesn’t come from a store.”

“Maybe Christmas…perhaps…means a little bit more!”

And that's the part when I went "D'awww!". The Grinch realizes what he's done! But the presents are about to fall down the cliff! What does he do, my friends? He saves the day!

And what happened then? Well…in Whoville they say,

That the Grinch’s small heart grew three sizes that day!

...oh man, I just keep quoting the poem because I love it.

And now take a look at how nice the Grinch is.

After decades of suffering he decides to do this!

He put up with the Whos and their yearly ruckus,

And yet in the end he still forgave the fuckers.

His now big heart gives him the strength so save the presents! And in a very epic redemption, he rides the sled down the mountain and joins the Whos for Christmas. Need I say it? I love this short film, I love Boris Karloff, I love the Grinch, I love Dr. Seuss and I want to marry them all.

And then for some reason I suddenly started to rhyme

Well, I guess that... Nonononono, stop it right there. Let's leave that to the ones who actually can rhyme. Moving on, I love everything about this villain. I loved him in the live action film too, but I loved him more in the cartoon.

Merry Christmas, you all!

...I really need a real artist to make my title cards. Here, have some congratulatory song for putting up with me.