Read or Die in 5 seconds
One of the best anime movies of all time, described in five seconds.
Recently, some friends of mine suggested I become a critic...
Reason being; I apparently have a talent for dragging things I don't like into the metaphorical bushes of my scrutiny and verbally fucking them in the arse with eye-wateringly long paragraphs full of big words and bloody stupid metaphors until the object of my almost holy wrath has a little cry and ceases to exist.
Now I don't know about you...
But I'm pretty sure that there's more to being a critic than simply sticking a chloroform rag over the face of the latest release and hauling it back to your basement so you can poke at it with lots of sharp, pointy objects. Of course, the real trouble is when it wakes up and lets out a shrill little cry and you suddenly find yourself being trampled under an army of Self-Righteous fanboys.
So, In conclusion...
I'm an insufferable twat.
However, I'm bloody good at being a twat and therefore I award myself 5 stars.
Hello readers, I am a long-time fan of this site but a first time blogger so forgive me if I may seem out of place. I am a big fan of debating and also analysing movies so I thought I’d come up with debating certain factors in the film industry. What I tend to do is argue both FOR and AGAINST what it is I am debating. There is no right or wrong answer it is just an overview and I am up for discussions. Please do I enjoy a good conversation on these topics but I am not looking for a fight or to disprove anyone it is just for fun. So, let’s get started.
FOR
The good thing about a sequel is that it gets to expand the simple storyline or theme of the original; let's take Alien for example. In the first one we see how a crew discover an ancient alien ship that has crash landed and how an alien life form they come across gestates inside someone and after birth goes on to kill the crew with acid for blood and a crazy 'tongue-puncher' as I call it. Now the sequel Aliens takes this life form and expands it into massive infestation amongst a colony of hundreds of people. This expands the idea of the original because it looks into exactly how deadly it is for these creatures to populate and more into their qualities against technology with their biological adapting skills. It also uncovers how the alien life cycle with a Queen Alien laying these eggs (which was created by James Cameron himself). The sequel also takes a horror icon and places it into an action situation with soldiers armed to the teeth and exploring the true extent of these creatures' merciless nature, thus emphasising the seriousness to destroy the Alien in the first film. This is an example of how sequels allow a basic idea of the original to expand and create a bigger or even new situation.
...Okay, so, I'm an anime girl and a lot of my friends have been wanting me to watch Ouran High School Host Club and since I'm trying to get into the reviewing spirit, I figured that I would start off with an okay review. Sure, there are some things I have complaints about, but they're just minor stuff, (mainly trying to remember the names and I had to look up the anime on wiki, which is pretty bad.) so let's dive right in!
So, in the first episode, 2nd year female student, Haruhi Fujioka walks into the Host Club room and accidentally breaks a pot worth eight million yen. (which is about 80 dollars, but that's just my approximate conversion) So, as a punishment, she is enrolled into this Host Club and we are told that the Host Club is a Club for young high school men to help ladies find love by... wooing them? Really? Really Japan? You had to go there? Anyway, As the first episode goes on, they eventually find out that Haruhi is a girl, (I like how they simulate each realization as a light bulb that flickers on) and realize that she shouldn't be there. Instead, since their "clients" like Haruhi so much, the president of this club, Tamaki Suoh, tells our main character that once she reaches 100 clients, they will drop the eight million yen debt, so, as time goes on, she learns the rest of the Host Club's story, she finds out that she belongs there and stays by choice
Thinking about it, I only have one major complaint about the main character. Her name is Haruhi Fujioka. In my opinion, she looks to me like she would be one to not keep her emotions bottled up and she wasn't very well rounded. She almost seemed to have no personality even. I mean, seriously, why make a tv show if the main character isn't cool? C'MON JAPAN! Anyway, with her having this... well... "lack" of personality, makes her fit into the show pretty well, making all the other guys lust for her. (god, Japan can be REALLY messed up!) So, there were some days where I liked her and there were some days I didn't, but, personally, she fits into this storyline well.
Another character I need to complain about is Tamaki Suoh. God, I hate this character! Granted, there are some scenes where I want to hug him, but, most of the time, I wanted to just jump into the show, smack him, and walk off! He's a ladies-man and he uses his charm to weave his way in and out of situations. It annoys me to NO END! He annoys me to no end! I don't like this character! Sure, he got better near the end of the series, but I don't want to say for people who haven't seen it yet, but even after I watched the ending, I still didn't really like him.
My last complaint is how the series ended on a cliffhanger, but, again, I won't go into detail for people who haven't seen it yet.
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Get the up to date information from the official Awards Twitter account: @CriticAwards
Oh the pain we went through to get this episode. 3 Recordings, a full night of editing and multiple renderings to get it right! But we are back! And are we back! Even after 3 separate recording we still had a great conversation full of new things to say! How do we do it?!
But on the table for this episode are Aliens, celebrities, Role Playing games, Judges Shows, pony underwear, The Golden Critic Awards! And So much more!
Also check it out we have ads on the site now! Well Ad…And it can be yours!
Also check out our YouTube, Facebook, Twitter and you can find us on iTunes and feel free to e-mail us at
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CRITIC TV has decided to start the first internet reviewer awards, with real awards and everything! Watch this video for all the information:
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YOUTUBE
Fill out these all categories to send in your recommendations:
Best Podcast
Best Crossover
Best Breakthrough Producer
Best Writing
Most Informative Video
Best Comedic Performance
Best Visual Appeal
Best Supporting Character
Best Character
Best Male Producer
Best Female Producer
Best Video
You can send your recommendations to:
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You can be up to date with latest events of The Golden CRITIC Awards at:
http://www.thereviewerreport.com/
or
At my twitter: @robertmillion
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...The FanFic Critic reads her first Hunchback of Notre Dame fanfiction that is NOT based on the Disney film.
Story URL:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4537683/1/The_bBell_b_bRinging_b_bAngel_b
The FanFic Critic revisits the author RichardTerminator and reads yet another LBT crossover. This time, it involves THE FUTURE!
Story URL:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6418730/1/Back_to_the_Future_4_land_before_time
The FanFic Critic and XArcangelAssassinX team up once again to review a bad fanfic. This time, it's a Halo fanfic!
Story URL:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5263148/1/Master_Chief_Writes_a_Fanfic
The FanFic Critic, dawning a new look and an updated opening title, dives into a Dragon Ball Z fanfiction that has a mediocre plot, sub-par grammar, and characters that are unlikable. Boy, this will be fun...
Story URL:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1749478/1/Big_Mistake
All Reviews and Content submitted to the talent search MUST be clean!
http://sib-lings.com/forum Come join now and show off your video, audio, graphics, and writing skills! It's time for a new entertainment team to assemble!
Hello! I'm The Film Vigilante! I've been a long time fan of the site. I've started up my own youtube channel where I do reviews for both obscure and current movies. I put together a little promo above. Enjoy!
Youtube Channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/TheFilmVigilante
The FanFic Critic is not very pleased to have two more Peter Chimaera fanfics pop up on her laptop. Oh, well. At least it's only two!
URLs to the stories:
http://www.peterchimaera.com/doom.html http://www.peterchimaera.com/batman.txt
The FanFic Critic returns to Ponyville and reads a crossover with My Little Ponies: Friendship is Magic and Viewtiful Joe. And before you ask, it does not involve cupcakes!
Story URL:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6854184/1/Climax_Pegasus
Hello, I am The_Awesometeer and I will be partaking on a journey through
the AFI Top 100 (if you do not know what this is please check out this
site: AFI Top 100).
Now I am a semi-busy person so I will differ on how many movies I will
watch and review a week. It should always be at least one but I might
be able to sometimes fit in two. As of right now I am hoping to do
video blogs but we will see how that works out (if you follow my blog or
twitter you will know when new reviews are about to come out).
Now for some background about me and movies. I like movies but I do not
like old movies (i don't really have a good reason why) with that said I
have seen only a handful of older movies (made before the 70s) in my
life, needless to say I do not have much reason to hate old movies. Now
I do like movies and for the past 8 years I have made sure to watch
every movie nominated for an Academy Award for Best Picture. Another
thing you should know is though I enjoy movies I am no critic in fact I
know hardly anything about movies. I pretty much know if I liked it or
not, so do not expect a review from a movie snob.
Lastly lets talk about this blog. First-off like I mentioned I will be
watching and reviewing the AFI Top 100 but I will not be doing it in any
particular order (I just used a random number generator). I will be
using my own secret formula (like Coke-a-Cola) to critique the film. I
will then make a post about it giving it a final grade. As I start
doing this I will then order the movies I reviewed by the grade I give
them, eventually ending up with my own version of the Top 100. So
please join me on this adventure and lets look at some classic American
movies.
I've been following this site for a very long time. Years even, and that's saying something given my short attention span and lack of human empathy. But following it has given me plenty of time to read lots of comments and watch lots of reviews and I've come to a brief realization about critics; they influence a man's thoughts. Regardless of whether or not you want it to, they influence your thoughts.
Let me be clear; I love the Nostalgia Critic. I find him funny, clever and entertaining on many levels. However, I have noticed something in the comment sections of not only his videos but many other reviewers on this site that sort of makes me scratch my head; the comment, 'I remember seeing this as a little kid...' That wouldn't be so bad, really if it stopped there, but this comment usually is followed by something like, 'Even then I thought this was stupid', or something along those lines and I have to stop and ask myself, 'Self, do you remember what you thought of [insert movie/game/comic here] when you first experienced this when you were five?'
My usual answer? 'It was a cartoon, of course I liked it.'
My point is simply that how many of us can honestly recall what we thought or felt the first time we watched a movie? I know when I was kid and Batman and Robin came out, I liked it. Now, yes, it's a terrible piece of trash, but when I was a kid, nothing mattered like a complex plot that made sense or deep character development. All that mattered was seeing Batman and Robin beat up the bad guys and save the day. And just to be clear, I REALLY hate Batman and Robin now. Another example, Three Ninjas with the same response. When I was a kid, I didn't care about plot or characters as a general rule--it was three kids beating up adults and it was easily imitable on the playground. What did I care if the plot was stupid or the characters shallow?
So, even if no one ever reads this, I want to ask the question: When you're watching these reviews, are they coloring your past? Are you allowing it to tint your memories to make you seem like you've been some intelligent cynic your whole life? Wouldn't it be nice to simply look at this movies, let the flaws be pointed out and then remember when they came out and be honest with ourselves? When you're a kid, unless you really did grow up in a house of snobbish intellectuals (in which case why the heck were you watching such tripe in the first place?) then I will say that I am doubtful that any of us really did look on any movie with disdain and and turn our noses up because of how 'stupid' it was. You can ask a kid and they'll tell you whether they like it or not. "Why, little Johnny/Susie, don't you like Three Ninjas?" And you have my solid oath that I will give you five Sealand dollars to you if that child replies with something along the lines of, "I found the movie shallow and pedantic' instead of, "I don't know.'
Hi, tafonex here.
Before I get one video out with me and CodyMaya, I have decided to get some haters. But all kidding aside, these blog posts are being made to past the time before I get out some videos out. The idea of this is to share my opinion of some the featured reviewers of the site, so of course I am starting with That Guy With The Glasses himself, Doug Walker, AKA, The Nostalgia Critic.
Part 1: History,
The Nostalgia Critic has had videos on YouTube for a while before the site started but I'm going to start at the first video on the site by him in 4/6/2008 when he reviewed Transformers The Movie, this video was very different from newer videos. The format was more like Bum reviews, and his outfit was very different from now. In the next episode, Drug Cartoon Special, every thing was the same as now, except the quality. In 5/10/2009 The 1st anniversary video of TGWTG.com, TGWTG Team Brawl, were he got many of the featured reviewers on the site to come to Chicago and film a fight of epic proportions. Then a year later Kickassia, a 3 parter 2nd anniversary video, where the featured reviewers took over a nation. Then another year later a 7 parter 3rd anniversary video, were the featured reviewers go on an adventure to find an amazing treasure.
...Here's to another year of TGWTG awesomeness, and another year of total obscurity for me!
Dear Reader, if you take the time to read this then thank you, all the details are on the inside of this blog so please take the time to read it so that you can help out with a new indie film, DEAD RISING UK, but as mentioned all details are inside this blog, if however your question is not answered here then please, either leave a comment or PM me ^^
And I'm back, with a look at Ferngully.
And next week, we move out of the realm of movies for a while...
My Kickassia video has officially been seen by a few of the TGWTG guys and guess what? THEY LIKED IT!
Angry Joe and Benzaie commented on my video!

Angry Joe even favorited it and made a tweet about it!
...I've got two idea for this one, and I take the opportunities to correct myself for the second one, my english is not perfect, so there is some mistake in the commentary at the end of the first one.
version 1 :
version 2 :
...
Many of you are probably more familiar with the robert zemekis version than I consider to be an underated movie with great acting, great design, great action scene god of war like, great music, an intresting look on the poem and a style who remind me the good old conan the barbarian (way better than the scorpion king who dare to claim than he is a return to this kind of movie, even if it's more like conan the destroyer). Maybe you think differently, that fine, but you have to admitted, it's better than the boring gerard butler one, and WAY more better than this ridiculous version, with our dear Christophe "connor Macleod" Lambert, where Beowulf is a poor copy of Blade, when he fight a dark teletubies, a women wearing a carpet and with the hear style of Doc Brown and of course knights who says NI, where all he's doing in an action scene is jumping.
In honor of the announcement of the Kickassia DVD, I created this badass trailer that is more awesome than the actual Expendables.
Now you can watch it on Youtube, you cheap bastards
I've seen and read a few thing here and there about some sort of rivalry between NC and DW. andI just curious is it real? Have either made actual remarks to others? or is this between the two fandoms? One group of fans likes one so then feels the need to bash the other because its not the one they like. I'm curious to this but just so you know I'm not basis against either I love Nostalgia Critic and have enjoyed a number of Distressed Watcher video. Please response if you have any knowledge of this.
A review of David Zucker's An American Carol. Does it capture the magic of Airplane! or fall horribly flat?