In the world of film and literature, there is only one Stephen King.  Well, unless you count Richard Bachman.  Anyhow, with so many short stories, novellas and novels to his credit, Stephen has been responsible for a lot of films.  Oddly, he only ever Directed one...and was coked out of his mind while doing so (his words, mind you).  While many of the films are classics, a lot of them are weird for one reason or another.  Is it the source material?  Sometimes.  Is it the confusing, unrelated nature of a movie that makes good money just from the name?  Quite often, yes.  You will see movies about aliens who talk to special needs children, zombies that refuse to go away and the most infamous Stephen King film of all-time.  To find out what that is, read on...

12. Children of the Corn III- Urban Harvest: You're not set in Maine.  This third film in the multi-film series is notable for changing the locale.  How can you do Children of the Corn without the corn?  Well, they found a way.  Given how the other films are famous for featuring celebrities in early roles, this one is just kind of there apparently.

11. The Rage- Carrie 2:  It's a sequel...kind of.  This derivative film is technically a sequel to the original film, but not entirely.  You see, the movie pretty much covers the plot of the first movie...again.  It's a sequel, since one of the random people from that movie agreed to be in it.  Yeah, that makes sense.

10. Sometimes They Come Back...For More: You set this movie where?  From all accounts that I've read, Sometimes They Come Back is not a bad movie.  However, the sequel's title- Sometimes They Come Back...Again is practically satirical.  By the third film, they had to up the ante from just a silly title.  As such, they set this move in Antarctica and gave it box art that appears to show The Devil breaking through the ice.  Weird, right?

9. A Return to Salem's Lot: Larry Cohen does not care for your plot.  In this follow-up to King's book-turned-film, the Writer/Director 'jettisoned' the plot and made up his own stories with the same characters.  Ironically, Cohen wrote a draft for the original film that was rejected.  I guess it was good enough for THIS one though, huh?

8. Pet Sematary 2: When in doubt, erase everything that people loved.  While many people love the original film, most people hate this one.  The tone- different.  The Director- different (and male).  The story- terrible.  All that was left was to just make it with the cast of My Little Pony to complete the series' turn from love to hate.

7. Thinner:  Silly.  While not as goofy as other films on this list, the movie is full of those moments nonetheless.  The thing gets really silly towards the end.  The high point: our hero getting a hole shot through the center of his hand.  Ouch!  Besides, any film with killer pie as a plot point is a bit silly no matter what.

6. Dreamcatcher: What is this film exactly?  The whole thing is a bizarre mish-mash of a dozen King ideas tossed in a blender.  Aliens- check.  Government interference- check.  The kids from Stand By Me, but with mental powers out of The Shining- big check!  The scary thing- the movie is chock full of celebrities...since it's a King film.  Must be nice to get people to do shit you write, huh?

5. Maximum Overdrive/Trucks: When in doubt, do it twice!  As I may have mentioned before, Overdrive is the only film of his own work that King Directed.  It's also silly- an ATM machine being sarcasting-, ridiculous- the Green Goblin truck- and full of action.  Oddly, a much more tame version was made for TV years later and called Trucks.  Was this necessary?

4. The Langoliers: You all know why this is here.  Over-dramatic and ridiculous, this film has been given the proper mocking by The Nostalgia Critic.  Even so, I can't ignore this ridiculous gem that builds up to crap CG for about four hours!

3. The Mangler Reborn: I fail to see the point of this movie.  This ACTUAL sequel- not to be confused with The Mangler 2- follows up on the first film...but tosses logic by the wayside, even by comparison.  Now in private hands, the titular machine kills it's owner and spits him back out as a zombie...or something.  What follows is actually pale by comparison...and incredibly-bleak.

2. The Lawnmower Man: A film so strange that Stephen King wanted his name taken off of it!  It's true.  This film was originally marketed as Stephen King's The Lawnmower Man, but he complained.  Why?  The Producers changed the story so much that it barely-resembled the original work.  Just for comparison, this is the same guy who does take credit for this...

1. Sleepwalkers: Damn you, Cat People!  While this film is not by Val Lewton (look it up), it does feature some Cat People.  It's a bit hard to explain, really.  Basically, these mutant people move into town and start feeding on people.  They can also cast illusions- making a car invisible- and their weakness is cats.  No, really.  The whole thing is a confusing and violent mess in the End & features cameos by several different Directors to boot.  It's a strange, strange train-wreck of a film.

For more film talk, go to my blog.  It killed Ron Perlman once too.

Next up, a look at the least successful films of big-time Directors.  Finally, 1941 gets some attention!  Stay tuned...