Superhero films are a win-win situation for Movie Producers.  A built-in audience and a story that's ready to go- perfect.  Of course, that's ignoring the failure of films like Judge Dredd, Tank Girl, Steel and Elektra.  Summer 2011 is a big time for them, as we are going to be treated to Thor, Almighty Thor (The Asylum knock-off), Captain America, Green Lantern and X-Men: First Class.  Hell, I'm half-expecting another an Ambush Bug film while they're at it.  With a history of superhero films and movie serials (going back as far as 1941's The Adventures of Captain Marvel), I thought that it would be interesting to look at the heroes that will probably never get a film.  These heroes include a Captain Marvel rip-off covered in slime, a Moon-worshiping vigilante and a guy who can shoot sparks from a hammer.  It is important to note that all of the characters here had their own comic books.  While it would be fun to cover such silly, one-shot characters like Snowflame or jokes like Squirrel Girl, I kind of think that it's cheating.  Let's fly right into the non-action...
 
*Just to note, nobody could have called Blade and Man-Thing getting a film, so this one may prove to be wrong eventually*
 
12. Animal Man: Remember, I didn't say that these were bad characters.  This Silver Age character has gotten a couple different revivals, but none of them ever amounted to a whole lot.  A young Grant Morrison brought the character a brand new depth...but he still didn't become a big star.  He got a shot again with Grant Morrison in his finale story for JLA...and still no luck.  Even 52 did not make him the next Superman, so good luck getting that film made.  "Yes, put $200 million into that picture about the guy who can squawk like a bird!'

 
11. Prime: Malibu Comics strikes back!  This Marvel-imprint featured a ton of characters including Lord Pumpkin, Rune (a demon/vampire/wizard) and Ultraforce.  The character who stands out to me, however, is the comic line's main hero- Prime.  As both a mainstay of Ultraforce and the star of his own series, the guy was everywhere!  In a nutshell, he was Captain Marvel, just that he transformed via some goo.  Don't ask me to explain it- I really can't!  Besides being an obscure character from an imprint line, the character is apparently tied up in some sort of legal dispute over licensing rights and has been since 2005.

 
10. Doll Man: Ah, the gay old days!  This Golden Age character is a precursor to guys like Ant-Man and The Atom.  His power- to grow small.  Unlike The Wasp, he doesn't have super-strength in this form- just his normal one.  He doesn't turn sub-atomic- he just shrinks to six inches.  So yeah, good luck making that movie about a fairly-small guy who can lift up large pencils with ease!

 
9. Sleepwalker: I love this guy...but it's not going to happen.  This odd Marvel character has an origin that is interesting, but also confusing.  Essentially, he's a creature from the Mindscape and he got bonded to a human being.  The result- he can take form in our world, but only when his host body is asleep.  The poor guy got his own series and was even put into a number of cross-overs- most notably 'Revenge of the Sinister Six'- by the company.  I just don't think that this is going to happen.  Sorry, me.

 
8. Death's Head: This character's back-story is confusing, but so is his trade-history!  Originally created as a villain for the Transformers comic (only released in the UK), the character was given a one-strip story to avoid Hasbro claiming ownership.  Naturally, this led to him appearing in Doctor Who Magazine because...um, the TARDIS.  Eventually, the character's history got more simple...until they killed him off and replaced him with Death's Head II.  Do I even need to try and explain how the character is a time-traveling, dimension-hopping robot?  Nope- didn't think so.

 
7. Moon Knight: Which version do you want?  The vigilante/hero has gone through a couple different changes over the years.  At one point, the character was a generic one- albeit one with multiple personalities .  Later, he became all about worshiping the Moon God Khonshu & using specific gadgets.  Later still, they abandoned that to make him a tech-based vigilante...until they killed him.  To a lot of people, he's known as that really over-powered guy in Marvel: Ultimate Alliance (provided that you use the nunchucks).  I love the guy, but being in the West Coast Avengers is probably as good as it's going to get for him.

 
6. Justice League Antarctica: You're going to love this one!  As a joke spin-off of Justice League International, a comical group of villains were sent to guard the world's largest ice-tray.  The line-up included Big Sir, Cluemaster, Major Disaster, The Mighty Bruce, Multi-Man and Clock King.  In addition, they were joined by the alien Green Lantern G'nort and The Scarlet Skier.  If you want to know who any of these characters are, feel fee to look them up.  Sufficed to say, this group will not end up in theaters fighting mutated penguins- their only villains.

 
5. Fate: It's '90s art time!  After decades using Doctor Fate, DC went in a new direction- stupidity.  Through a series of events, we got a new Fate- a young man with limited magic and a bunch of artifacts/tools.  Oh yeah, he also has '80's style face stubble and a mullet.  How inspired.  The best part- Geoff Johns had the good idea to kill this guy off when he began JSA & bring back the classic character.  Thanks, Geoff!

 
4. Solo: Raise you hands if you know this guy.  Another classic bit of '90s writing involves this guy- a generic guy with guns.  Oh right- he can also teleport.  He's still around, but nobody seems to remember or care.  Speaking of which...

 
3. Gunfire (and all of the Bloodlines characters): Wow- a cool power...but with a stupid guy.  As part of a way to keep things 'fresh,' DC introduced the Bloodlines series.  Basically, a bunch of new, 'hip' heroes.  Yeah, most of these guys didn't stick around.  Gunfire is my favorite, as he can fire energy blasts from objects that he holds.  His greatest moment, however, comes in the year 1,000,000 where the latest incarnation dies after, well, turning his ass into a hand-grenade.  Good times.

 
2. The Justice League (The Detroit Era): How do you mess up a team so well?  In the wake of a DC event where 'part-time' heroes like Batman and Superman arrived too late to help, Aquaman formed a new team.  They included Vibe (ugh), Gypsy (ugh), Steel (not the one you're thinking of), Elongated Man (sorry) and Vixen (meh).  This team signaled the end of the series' run leading up to Keith Giffen's Justice League series.  At least something good came out of this.

 
1. The Great Lakes Avengers: This was not meant to be a joke- at first.  This team covers the area between the (East Coast) Avengers and the Avengers West Coast.  Their line-up includes Door Man (who can make himself into a portal), Big Bertha (who can grow fat), Dinah Soar (who is a pterodactyl-lady), Flatman (whose powers speak for themself) and Mr. Immortal (who is immortal).  These guys are minor in the grand scheme of things and are now just a joke.  Sucks to be you, Wisconsin.

 
For more superhero/film talk, go to my blog.  It has the proportionate strength of a full-size man.
 
Up next, let's switch things around with a focus on the villains who will not be on the silver screen.  Come on down, Mnemonic Girl!  Stay tuned...