What good is a film hero without a film villain?  Unfortunately for this lot, it's a good bet that none of them will ever get to be film villains.  Instead, these rejects will be forced to remain hidden away in comic books.  Depending on your nerd level, you may or may not have heard of these characters.  Both of the major comic book companies are represented here, so don't feel like I'm bashing on Marvel and/or DC specifically.  Quite frankly, everyone has really dumb ideas sometimes.  If you are a comic book writer, though, your dumb ideas may be preserved for the next 100 years in either print or digital form.  Here are the Top 12 Comic Book Villains Who Will Never Be In a Film...

12. Kite Man/Stilt Man: This pair are so silly that they just belong together!  Kite Man is a DC Comics villain who faced off with Batman way back in 1960.  The poor guy only ever had a kite going for him, which led to him being a one-off joke by the time 52 was written and finally killed off in that comic.  Stilt Man has a longer history of fighting Marvel's New York City-based heroes.  He has more going for him, as his suit makes him somewhat invulnerable and super-strong.  Even so, he's pretty much a joke.  Good luck getting that cameo in Daredevil 3.

11. Paper Man/Origami Man: Pop Quiz, hot-shot!  You're facing down with the Amazon warrior from Themiscerya.  She has super-strength and was trained to kill.  What are you going to do to stop her?  You're going to turn into paper?  Really?  That's all you've got?  What a rip!

Oh yeah, DC tried this again with another character.  Double lame!

10. Death-Throws: It's a talent...but not a power.  During a time when Hawkeye was given a bit of a solo effort in Marvel, he faced off with this group of villain.  What could they do?  They could juggle.  No, really.  The group's gimmick was that they each used different things- i.e. exploding balls, knives, etc- to throw.  Geez!  Next thing you know, you're going to tell me that there was a guy who committed crimes with a pool cue.

9. 8-Ball: Dammit!  This villain committed his crimes wearing a generic, black bodysuit topped with a giant 8-Ball helmet!  In his debut, he has a super-powered pool cue which he uses to take out the hero he faced.  That hero- Sleepwalker.  As we learned last week, he's never going to get a film, so you're definitely out of luck.  After all, you only ever fought him.  By the way, I own this comic...

8. Rainbow Rider/Crazy Quilt: It's a double-dose of bright, shiny shit.  This pair of DC Comics villains have one thing in common- they suck.  Oh yeah, they also have similar powers and bright attire.  Rainbow Rider commits crimes by, well, riding rainbows.  Crazy Quilt attacks people by shining lights at them.  You have the power of a laser pointer!

7. Humpty Dumpty (Silver Age/Modern): A silly concept so nice that they did it twice (kind of).  In the Silver Age, this character is a big, fat guy who rides a hobby horse.  I wish I was kidding.  In the Modern Age, the character is completely different and creepy, but the effect is still ruined.  You see, he takes things apart and puts them back together.  He has a creepy vibe, but he's also 600+ pounds of obesity.  I could outrun him on one leg!  As a bonus, he is shown to have already been defeated and never escapes.

6. Orca/The Squid: Batman is confounded by aquatic enemies- twice!  The first is a mutated lady villain who fought Batman back in the year 2000.  She was written out of the comics years later in an elaborate revenge plot that also took out KG Beast, Magpie and The Ventriloquist.  You have to go back further to see this character, as he appeared back in 1980.  He fought Batman three times before being killed...only to come back...and maybe be killed again.  Just die already!

5. Ten-Eyed Man: I can touch the air!  This Batman villain (sorry, fans) was a man who lost his eye-sight during the Vietnam War.  Thankfully, some dumb-ass scientist re-wired his body so that he can see through each one of his fingertips.  Science doesn't work that way!!!  Yeah, he sucks.

4. Big Wheel: Whee!  This Spider-Man villain is notable for his silly gimmick- he rides in a giant, big wheel covered in weapons.  As a bonus, he faced off with Rocket Racer, another bad villain turned hero.  That's just the icing on the cake.

3. Egg-Fu: I wish I was making this up.  Way back in the day, Wonder Woman faced yet another stupid villain.  Egg-Fu was a horrible, racist stereotype who also happened by a giant, villainous egg.  The odd thing is that creators have continually tried to revamp this character for the modern age.  The guy even appears in 52!  Just let it go, guys- he's a giant, racist stereotype villain who is also a giant egg.  What part of this are you trying to salvage?

2. The Slug: Being fat is not a super-power!  This Kingpin-wannabe is from the pages of Captain America and is only notable for being fat.  That's it.  He is a generic drug-dealer/arms-dealer that is also fat.  What's the point of this?

1. Turner D. Century: This is the biggest joke of all!  This villain is notable for many things.  For one, his gimmick is that he was raised in solitude a la The Village.  He uses his hatred of the modern-day to drive his crimes.  The other thing- he only appeared three times.  In the first comic, he uses a flame-throwing umbrella and rode a unicycle.  In the second, he made a device that would kill anyone under 65.  In his third appearance, he was killed by the Sin-Eater.  He died as he lived- a loser.

For more comic and film talk, go to my blog.  It has a great recipe for an Egg-Fu omelette.

Next up, what's in a name?  To find out, let's take a look at the longest film titles in the history of cinema.  Stay tuned...