My overdue spoiler-free review of indie film Calvary - in just ONE TAKE!
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For the previous parts of this review Prologue, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, and Part 6
Yep apparently the Shōwa Riders were being serious about their beef with the Heisei Riders. Takashi says that part of it was to fool Badan. But the other half was to take their disapproval out on the Heisei riders. Gaim of course points out that Takashi's reason makes no sense and that there's no reason to fight. Takashi, being the stubborn bucket of bolts that he is just transforms and the two sides start their fight. Now, before this movie was released there was a fan poll to ask who should win the final fight, the Shōwa Riders or the Heisei Riders. Really, the only thing that changes are who wins the final fight and the version of the ending song. We'll cover the ending that won the fan vote and then the one that lost. Luckily for me, the Heisei Riders won the fan poll so I'll cover that first. No matter what ending Narutaki watches over the final fight asking who will win in the end, the first Rider or the latest Rider. Ichigo prepares to land his Rider kick when Gaim notices a flower behind him. Gaim then takes the full force of the kick. Ichigo prepares to land the final blow when he says this.
All the other Riders stop their fights and Narutaki explains for the audience why Ichigo surrendered.
|Thanks Captain obvious!|
Ichigo then says that strength based on Kindness might be true strength, if Gaim would go so far as to protect even a single flower. Um dude, you are the oldest Rider alive, you should have known this already! Whatever Ichigo then offers his hand in friendship to Gaim.
Gaim charges up for his finishing move while Ichigo just stands there. Gaim then stops powering up.
(Sorry about the last post TGWTG wouldn't let me post the full thing for some reason.) Where we last left off Fifteen was fighting against Wizard who uses his Bind spell to try and hold down Fifteen. Fifteen however switches to Wizard arms and easily breaks through it. Fourze backs up Wizard, however Fifteen just switches to Fourze arms and continues to pound the two, even with W and Decade the four Riders get smacked down by Fifteen, finishing them all at once by switching to Decade arms. Gaim calls out Fifteen, Fifteen decides to stop screwing around and switches to Gaim arms, to accept the final one on one fight. Porcupine-Roid is firing on several Riders, however Baron, Ryugun Kiwi arms and Zangetsu-Shin show up for a rematch.
|Yeah, I'm keeping that spoiler to myself.|
After that bit of hilarious hindsight the three Armored Riders over power Porcupine-Roid and destroy that rejected Predacon. Meanwhile the spirits of the dead are terrorizing the civilians, one of which decides to interrupt Faiz.
|Nobody gives a shit about you, Kusaka!|
But for some reason Faiz does. Skullasaurus in the mean time knocks out Gabutyra when, NO NO NO!
Now that the Mega Reverse Project is underway Ambassador Darkness mobilizes every single member of the Badan forces (except Schwarz because the dude really needs to talk with his agent) to take the surface world. In response Kouta tells Tsukasa that even if its down to the two of them they'll crush Badan. Takumi shows up saying to make that three. Takumi says that he's joining up not only to fulfill a dead boys wish, but also to find out the real reason why the Shōwa Riders are their enemies. So then the Fifth, tenth and Fifteenth Hesei Riders run to the battleground. But then they run into a very angry roadblock!
|We're still in this movie!|
Normally I'd be ecstatic; but given how you guys have been acting I and most of the audience are more then a little cross. However our heroes have back up not only from Kamen Rider Joker but also from Kamen Riders Kiva, OOO (Pronounced O's) and Wizard. Joker says that he fights for his clients, another message from his late boss. Wizard says that him, Kiva and OOO were the only ones they could get though. Dude, OOO is one of the strongest Riders ever, and Kiva is one of my top five favorite Riders, you've got this in the bag. Kouta agrees with me saying that they are more then enough. Kouta then asks why the Shōwa riders are getting in their way. Ichigo and Nigo basically repeat their "this is our fight, piss off noobs" shtick from earlier. Tsukasa then asks why the Shōwa Riders why they think that the Hesei riders are responsible for bringing Badan to the surface. Here it comes, where I get into rant overload, batten down the hatches and hide your children! Ichigo says that Badan, the land of the dead, was revived, because the Hesei Riders can't let go of their feelings for the dead.
Oh wait you're being serious then let me laugh even harder.
After the second most obvious joke I could ever make in this review, Fifteen uses some form of pyrokinesis to burn Shuu's "I hate you" message. Fifteen says that it's unnecessary since apparently Shuu will be coming back to life.
|Sorry pal, but you don't exactly strike me as a White Mage.|
Kouta, obviously asks what the hell he's talking about and Fifteen explains that Badan isn't actually an Underground Empire, but actually an Empire of the dead! The big plan is to use Shuu's 7th dimension power to reverse the world of the dead into the world of the living. Called, the Mega Reverse Project.
|I would have totally gone with this plan, but they never called me, uuuuuuuuhhhhhhh.|
Shuu points out the obvious, that if Netherrealm is merged with EarthRealm his Mom will die, thus why he ran from Badan. Fifteen, not exactly having everything right upstairs says that if Shuu comes back to life Shuu's mom will be happy. And dead, don't forget dead. Shuu refuses to help so Dad needs to spank him, so he pulls out his Sengoku driver. Kouta, not one for that type of tough-love parenting agrees with Shuu and says that there's no reason for Badan to take away the future from the living. Fifteen then transforms saying that he won't let anything get in his way. Kouta then pulls out his driver in response, they both transform and begin their rematch. Round two, FIGHT! Gaim starts by clearing a path through the Combat-Roids for Shuu to run away while he fights Fifteen. Gaim tries to reason with him saying that he knows what it's like losing someone you care for. Probably even more so then Fifteen since at this point in continuity Gaim found out the truth about Yuya. Fifteen still says that Gaim can't beat him. Fifteen is almost about to kill Gaim when Decade shows up to save him. Decade tells Shuu that his mom is waiting for him at the lighthouse; Gaim then gives Decade a Rose attacker Lockseed to give the two an escape vehicle while Gaim holds off Fifteen.
From where we last left off we see Jin Badass riding down the coastline with Mari back to their clinic. I'm guessing that Mari is an employee, assistant or maybe a niece or granddaughter or something. Takumi, clearly as mystified by that incredible display of balls back at the dinner decided to follow the two to see what their deal is. Um, dude ever hear of just asking?
|See, this guy knows not to be a creeper!|
Now if I knew that some shady guy was following me and my young assistant I personally would have called the cops. Takumi doesn't even want anything from Jin he just, I don't know got bored I guess, hey writers, characters tend to have motivations behind their actions, don't have characters do things without a good reason! Otherwise it's just lazy writing! This awkward exchange is interrupted when more of Dr Jin's staff show up with a man who was injured in a drunken fight and is bleeding profusely. But is apparently strong enough to fling one of the guys holding him down like a frigging Frisbee!
|Clearly an angry drunk, and an Olympian!|
So after they remove the bloody glass shards out of the drunk's body, (which I won't be showing for obvious reasons) and manage to sedate him we cut to Takumi washing the blood off his hands when we get another flashback. Which I will get to when the time is right! Doc Badass thanks Takumi and tells him his full name. Keisuke Jin, who (if you've followed the links I gave in the prologue article) is the identity of Kamen Rider X. Takumi give his name to Jin, who then asks what it felt like saving a person. Takumi says that he's saved many already, which surprises Jin but notices that when Takumi said it he had a terrible expression on his face.
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