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This was probably my first truly angry review. I hated this movie so much, so you can believe I spend lots of time picking this to pieces. Enjoy!
Part 4: Why Do We Still Have So Many Gloves?!
Here are my final 6 problems with the structure and themes of this movie.
13. Don’t listen with your heart. Try to pump blood with your ears. Everyone makes fun of this little bit of lampshading (warning, link goes to TV Tropes!) in every Pocahontas review ever, and that’s because it’s fucking ridiculous....
Star Wars Rebels: The Spark of Rebellion Review
Written by Soren The Hero 117
Star Wars Rebels, Disney's very first addition into the Star Wars franchise since they bought the rights to Lucasfilms and announced several changes and announcements, including a new trilogy, toys, games, lots of merchandise and several new spin-off movies and television shows. Many fans were very split towards this news and while many respective fans understood the promise and potential, other biased fans instinctively and annoyingly raged and immediately began to bash and denounce the possibilities before they can even begin. Criticism goes two ways: professionally and unprofessionally, and now that Star Wars Rebels has begun airing, starting with its two parter Pilot made into a Made-For-TV movie, The Spark Of Rebellion, I take it upon myself, as a professional to review this movie without any bias, any favoritism over the original and without any kind of false accusations by butthurt fanboys who can't understand that just because its new, or by a different company that it automatically makes it bad. With that said, Star Wars Rebels: The Spark of Rebellion....
Disney's Pocahontas, the nearly universally-loathed 1995 feature film widely regarded as killing the momentum of the Disney Renaissance. So what's so bad about it? (Let's not be coy here: LOTS!) In some alternate universe, could it have ever been a good movie? Actually, I think so! Here are my grudging acknowledgements of the film's good points, a rundown of its many bad points, and an outline of a reworked version that could actually be good:
Part 1: "If you don't have anything nice to say..." giving Disney's Pocahontas (1995) its due & acknowledging the redeeming features of the movie.
Part 2: "...Then Come Sit By Me!" a discussion of the first 6 major structural & story problems with Pocahontas....
Doug Walker, please ooh please do a nostalgia critic episode of the Chalie Brown and the Peanuts Gang videos and what made them so popular. I remember watching them while growing up and they became holiday traditions but what was it about them that made them such a staple in pop culture?
Gorgeous animation, kick-ass songs and Jodi Benson's stellar voice, what's not to like?
So. Here it is. The final, definitive ranking of every canon Disney movie. The culmination of two years’ work that will remain as an immovable edifice of truth until a few months from now when Big Hero Six comes out and we have to rearrange the whole thing. Sigh. Anyway, before we begin I just want to point out that there are no ties. Where two or more movies had the same final score, the order they were ranked in was decided by whichever scored higher in animation. So, let’s begin.
Star Wars: Rebels. All I can is WOW! That was a surprise!
Now for all those following, I LOVE STAR WARS! I love the story, I love the characters, I love the world it created, I love the music, I love the special effects and I love the original trilogy as well as the prequels, except for maybe Episode I (Believe me, I was there opening day.)
I've come to love the recent 5 seasons of The Clone Wars as well and it was really sad to see it cancelled due to Disney and there plans with Star Wars. Which was why I wasn't really expecting much with the fallow up show Rebels, which takes place during the timeline in between Episode III and Episode IV that sets up the beginning of the Rebellion. And looking at what they were doing…yeah, it was sort of split down the middle for me. I did like how it was looking like Clone Wars, but was a little worried given it was Disney and most of the time there all Happy Joy Joy....
Part 3: The Gloves Are Coming Off!
So, in our last review we covered the first six unforgivable sins that damn this movie, so today let's do six more!
7. There is no indication whatsoever that Powhatan would not be sympathetic to Pocahontas and John had he found out what actually happened. Yes, Powhatan is a little stern and rather a stick-in-the-mud, but he comes off as a kindly father who is primarily motivated by Pocahontas’s well-being. If he found out Kocoum was ignoring her clearly stated pleas to leave John alone, would he have defended that behavior for a second? Moreover, in the fight scene Kocoum quite violently throws Pocahontas to the ground. Everything we’ve seen of Powhatan as a father says that if he heard about that he’d respond to Kocoum’s death with “Good riddance, fuck that bastard.”...