My name is ZGDK. I enjoy writing, I enjoy writing A LOT. My primary interests are video games, film, music, and literature. I'll be blogging a lot. Sometimes I might use gimmicks in my blogs such as recently introducing "The Joker" as a "writer". Deal with it, shut up, and read my goddamn blog.
I have a thing for gigantic animated extravanganzas and when I first laied eyes on The Secret of NIMH at the end of Doug's Top 11 Underrated Nostalgic Movies I just knew it was a movie I needed to see, so did it live up to my expectations or was Doug actually wrong for once? Let us find out.
The Secret of NIMH involves a widowed rat known as Mrs. Brisby who lives in a cinder block in the middle of a farm sometime during the fifties or the sixties. Ahh the fiftes, Korean War, Red Scare, television in black and white and conservative values ruling America. Anyway Mrs. Brisby's son Timothy is sick with pnemounia and after visiting a scientist rat she gets some medicine.
Brisby then meets up with a crow Jeremy who is searching for a girlfriend and they escape from the cat Dragon. However they must soon move because the farmers plow is coming, but Timothy is too sick to move. She goes to see the Great Owl who until he finds out that she is the widow of Johnathan Brisby refuses to help. He tells her that the rats of NIMH who live in the rose bush.
She goes to the rose bush where she finds an entire civilization of rats who have near human intellegence as a result of experiments preformed on them by the National Institute of Mental Health.
The animation in the movie is absolutely stunning. The characters move smoothly and the backgrounds are some of the best I have ever seen. Vibrant colors mix together and every frame is filled with detail. The real highlight here is the pacing and atmosphere used throughout the film, rather than rush from scene to scene the animators use dynamic camera shots and manage to prolong every scene for full enjoyment.
Some of my favorite scenes include the meeting with the Great Owl and the rat city because of the amount of pacing and detail poured into the scenes. The final scene at the end where the rats are moving Mrs. Brisby's house with the rain falling and mud splattering everywhere is simply spectacular.
The voice talent deserves mention here too, while not the best picks the actors do a great job at what they're doing. None of the voices sound over pretentious or annoying. I especially enjoyed the voices for Jeremy and Nicodemus.
The score is also excellent with some tense music to fit the scenes, it has a truly classical feel to it like that of an enchanted story.Coupled with the excellent animation the score helps to add a feeling of tenseness to the film.
Overall The Secret of NIMH is not a movie that should be overlooked and while there are some flaws such as the ending feeling too rushed and some other minor quibbles it's still an excellent animated movie. I give it a 9/10, until next time That Guy with the Glasses!
George W. Bush is probably one of the least liked presidents in a long while. So what do you do with someone the public hates? Make a movie about him! Thus we get Oliver Stone's W. Does W. pack a punch or does it just flop off the deep end like Bush did back in his drunken college days? Let's take a look.
W. is divided up into three parts the first of which Bush's drunken college days. We meet W. as a misguided soul who cares about nothing more than a good time. His favorite things in the world are beer, sex, and partying; a far cry from what he would become.
The nineties were a good time for animation, there were plenty of witty and clever shows such as Rocko's Modern Life and darker shows like Batman. These were cartoons that could be enjoyed by both children and adults, however the turn of the century showed so much promise with shows like Spongebob Squarepants and just fizzled out. I want to take a look at some of the factors that led us to the point of utter poo-poo garbage.
Hell yes, The Adventures of Tintin (Les Adventures de Tintin, if you want to get technical with me) by Herge (pen name for Georges Remi) is awesome. Now you're probably asking what I'm talking about, well I'll explain. Tintin is a Franco-Belgian comic series about a young reporter Tintin who travels the world. The series is filled with political satire, science ficton, and just some great adventure stories all drawn in Herge's signature linge claire style which means bold thick lines used for everything. There's some truly amazing artwork here folks. Now why Top 17? I'll explain but first the cast of characters.
Tintin and Snowy
Tintin is the main character of the series. Aged somewhere between sixteen and eighteen Tintin is a reporter for several Brussels newspapers although he's never shown actually reporting. He's always quick to find adventur, but becomes more cynnical as the series wanes on. He like so many other of the characters doesn't seem to have any family or romantic interests. Tintin is very anti-war and always standing up for the little guy.
Snowy is Tintin's trouble loving dog who's always quick to provide some sarcasm.
Captain Haddock
Once a pitiful drunkard who was essentially prisoner on his own ship, the Capt. becomes quick friends with Tintin (The Crab with the Golden Claws) and begins to join him along on their adventures. At the end of Red Rackham's Treasure, the Capt. discovers that the elegant Marlinspike Hall is his ansectral home. However he's always quick to loose his temper.
Professor Calculus
A brilliant, hard of hearing Professor, Professor Cuthbert Calculus is the last member to join the Tintin "family". His range of accomplishments range from building a rocket to the moon twelve years before the actual Apollo 11 mission and trying to create a color television. For the most part he's vgery absent minded, but he doesn't suffer indiginites lightly.
Thomson and Thompson
They're twins, but not quite. Thomson and Thompson are bumbling, but brilliant detectives stationed in Brussels. The two always get themselves into all sorts of unwanted trouble and in the earlier albums are always trying to arrest Tintin.
The Adventures of Tintin, as I said before, is an excellent comic series. More than adventure stories these stories are very multi-layared with characters that pop up time and time again giving the series semblance of a timeline. All this combined with painstaking research helps add to an amazing series. The series began in 1929 and ended in 1983 with the death of Herge.
Also the unsung heroes of the books are Micheal Turner and Leslie-Lonsdale Cooper who translated the books into English. Although most of the material even the jokes translated 95% of the time, they were quick to show some wit when translation difficulties came into play and worked very closely with Herge to make sure the English editions were as faithful as possible. Plus it takes place in Brussels and Europe is awesome.
Now why Top 17? I'll explain, there are twenty-four books with two not being part of the canon and one unfinished. That leaves us with twenty-one books. Four of the stories are two parters which leavesus with seventeen stories. So let us begin!
Refer to the end of the list for the correct order the comics should be read in.
17-Tintin in America
The original three Tintin albums were not very good. Tintin in the Land of the Soviets and Tintin in the Congo have caused quite a fair share of controversy. Tintin in America however was the first album Herge really wanted to write. The story involves Tintin heading to Chicago to do a clean up job on Al Capone and his gang (the only real person ever to appear in the series). The story is filled with dues ex machina, sterotypes (even though Herge was fascinated by the Native Americans), and resembeling nothing more than a loosley connected chain of events. Skip this album and head straight to Cigars of the Pharaoh, where Herge really started to pick up the game by creating a strong, well-researched tale. This album, does, however have some amazing artwork. I also love the scene where Herge pokes fun at the greedy capitalists trying to mistreat the Native Americans, it warms my communistic heart.
16-The Shooting Star
During WWII Belgium was occupied by the Nazis and Herge needed to try to move away from the political stuff, however he failed with The Shooting Star. The Americans are bad guys and that apparently didn't do, because "my fellow Americans" can be so sensitive and pushy. So he changed it to the fictonal country of Sao Rico, whatever I still read it as America. Anyway the album starts off with the end of the world conveying the feelings of the times and Tintin meets Professor Phostle the head of the observatory. The shooting star doesn't collide with Earth, but rather a chunk lands in the Arctic. The Capt., Tintin, and Phostle head off to find this amazing star made of some strange metal. The dreamlike beginning and end (dreams and surreality were something Herge explored often) are wonderfully done, but the album needed to be re-editited to fit the 62 page limit and because of that it's turned into one stinking mess.
15-Tintin and the Picaros
From here on out it's nothing but the good stuff. Tintin and the Picaros is the final album of the series and it's amazing how Herge stayed at the top of his game throughout the whole thing. Without giving away the plot, Herge's satire of a dictatorship put into power by people far more smarter is extremely well done and there's some great artwork here. However being the last of the series it's just hard to truly enjoy the book by the time you reach it. The humor here is also superb.
14-The Black Island
The Black Island is a truly atmospheric tale. After trying to help out some guys who make an emergency landing they shoot him. The mystery finds Tintin heading to the British isles, being framed and chased by the Thom[p]sons and wearing a kilt. As I said earlier, this is a truly atmospheric tale that's a top notch adventure, although it does drag on at times and feel somewhat repetitious.
13-Flight 714 [to Sydney]
The second to last album has Tintin, Haddock, and Calculus heading to the aeronautics conference in Sydney, however they manage to hitch a ride with the billionaire Laszlo Cardeias on his new prototype jet. However it's not long before the jet is hijacked by an old enemy. Tintin and crew are held prsioner on an island in the Pacific home where the "Gods" live. This is a great take on the acient astronauts tale and Dr. Krollspell with his concentration camp qualifications makes a great villain. The humor is superb and the art is amazing. However it feels somewhat anti-climactic, I like that Herge never actually shows the aliens, but still there was a lot of buildup that just fizzled out.
12-King Ottokar's Sceptere
Ah, King Ottokar's Sceptere, written as tensions in Europe were just about to explode into war. This album is a well constructed political thriller. The plot involves Tintin heading to the fictonal Balkan conutry of Syldavia, which is under threat from it's facist neighbors Borduria. The real charm here is how Herge creates a fictional country right down to it's own language. He even creates a travel brochure so convincing you can't help but believe that Syldavia exists. It does feel somewhat bland at times, and there are a few scenes which could have been constructed better.
11-The Broken Ear
Look at that cover right there, epic no? In The Broken Ear a rare fetish is stolen from the Museum of Ethnography and Tintin is hot on the trail of two Spanish baddies. His search for the fetish takes him to San Theodores, a clear parody of Bolivia and Paraguay in the thirties. Tintin also meets long time friend General Alcazar who saves him from death by firing squad. This album comes after the epic Cigars of the Pharaoh/The Blue Lotus arc and Herge made the wise decision of toning things down, but the story suffers as well. It's not that it's made of loosely connected sub-plots, it's that it feels hollow somehow. The artwork of the jungle also starts out strong, but is quickly reduced to just a background of green. However aside from the jungle the rest of the artwork is strong and one can see Herge's skill developing.
10-Land of Black Gold
Originally written before WWII, the story was halted when the Germans took over. Because of it's high anti-war, anti-German plot Herge decided to shelf it. In the early fifties Herge went back and finished the story, however during translation The Man felt that the British Mandate of Palestine was too outdated so it was re-set in the fictional country of Khemed. Like many of Herge's albums it proved to be prophetic as it's about the German villain Dr. Muller (fresh off escape from The Black Island) tampering with oil so the world's engines explode. This is an excellent album with lots of politics and parody. Plus it has the Thom[p]sons and mirages, comedy gold.
9-The Red Sea Sharks
Tintin's friend Emir Ben Kalish Ezab and his bratty son Abdullah (Land of Black Gold) have been exiled by the evil Bab El Ehr. Because the Capt. refuses to take care of Abdullah and so he and Tintin head out to save the Emir. This album brings together so many former characters, and has some truly spectacular scenes especially in terms of artwork. One of my personal favorite is the Emir's hideout modeled after Petra. The satire is top notch here and the slapstick is as well done as ever. It's an intense album that can be described no more as a well executed adventure.
8-Destination Moon and Explorers on the Moon
Professor Calculus has invited Tintin and Haddock to be his guests at the Sprodj Atomic Research Center in Syldavia. His ultimate motive? To take them to the moon with him. This two parter is epic and it also kicks off a loose story arc involving the Cold War between Syldavia and Borduria. Herge really lathers it on with the artwork here, there are some truly spectacular scenes especially in Explorers on the Moon. The humor is also superbly done and Destination Moon's cliffhanger ending is intense flowing well into the next album.
7-Tintin in Tibet
Tintin and crew are on holiday in Switzerland and then Tintin has a dream where he finds his friend Chang from The Blue Lotus lying freezing in the Himalayas. After the newspaper confirms that there really was a plane crash Tintin and Haddock are off to Nepal despite the Captain trying to convince Tintin Chang is dead. This is the peak of the series in terms of artwork here, written during a nervous breakdown in which Herge had nightmares of everything going white one can see how his mental state affected this album. There's some spectacular scenes and a sympathetic look at the yeti who really isn't all abomanable.
6-The Seven Crystal Balls and Prisoners of the Sun
The Seven Crystal Balls and Prisoners of the Sun are an excellent duo. The seven members of an expedition to Peru are all plunged into deep comas after returning to Brussels. The only clue are shattered fragments of what looks like a crystal ball. There's also some frightening scenes involving the mummy brought back with the expedition. Herge was always an expert at creating atmosphere and it's clearly shown in these two albums.
5-The Castafiore Emerald
The Castafiore Emerald is amazing because it's the only volume where Tintin... stays at home. There's no adventure, no bad guys, nothing. Just humor and lots of it. The opera diva Bianca Castafiore who Tintin and Haddock can never seem to be rid of decides to come visit and stay at Marlinspike. What ensues is paparazzi, television crews, a robbery and even the Captain's "engagement". This may not be a conventional album, but it's a good one. The artwork is as strong as ever though this is where the clear line became a little too clear.
4-The Crab with the Golden Claws
The Crab with the Golden Claws above all things is the introduction of Captain Haddock. After a series of events that leads Tintin on board a ship called the Karaboudjan and into an opium smuggling ring. He then meets the drunkard Haddock and they are after another series of events stranded in the desert and then a shadowy, seedy Moroccan port city. The whole album is eeriley dream-like and surreal, from the endless desert landscapes to the Moroccan port city with its ever omniprecent shadows. There is even some spectacular full page artwork to be viewed here.
3-Cigars of the Pharaoh and The Blue Lotus
It was a tough decision putting this two parter at number three, but I have a good reason. Cigars of the Pharaoh was the first great Tintin album. It was the first to have a well constructed tale, detailed artwork, and it introduces the Thom[p]sons, the "benevolent" Rastapopolus. However it has some glaring flaws. The Blue Lotus on the other hand is the first excellent album. It's the first to have true painstaking research done for it's conception and it's an excellent satire of imperialist China, The Blue Lotus is a fan-favorite that is often a list topper. However since I count the two parters as one story sadly The Blue Lotus is only on number three. This is truly an epic story involving a worldwide drug smuggling gang and it's brilliantly written with some intense scenes and atmosphere that is just piled on.
2-The Secret of the Unicorn and Red Rackham's Treasure
This is the best two-parter. The Secret of the Unicorn and Red Rackham's Treasure are essentially a treasure hunt, with Unicorn being one of the two albums completely in Brussels and the surrounding country-side. It's also the introduction of Marlinspike. After buying Haddock a model ship at the market Tintin finds out that the ship is a model of a ship once commanded by Haddock's ancestor Sir Francis Haddock. This leads Tintin deep into a mystery involving corrupt antique dealers and treasure. Red Rackham's Treasure is of course the hunt for the treasure and the funniest album of them all. The Thom[p]sons are at the top of their game and atmosphere is experlety set up here. There's also some amazing underwater scenes.
And number one is...
1-The Calculus Affair
What a Cold War story, after being kidnapped by Bordurians, Tintin and Haddock are hot on Calculus' trail. The chase leads them to Geneva and eventually the Stalinst, I mean Tachist (named after the leader Kurvi-Tash, whose mustache adorns everything even the accents on words) state of Borduria. It's a thrilling mystery and political thriller with some superb humor, excellent artwork and above all atmosphere. There's even a weapon that could be a haunting reality...
CORRECT ORDER OF THE COMICS
Tintin in America
Cigars of the Pharaoh
The Blue Lotus
The Broken Ear
The Black Island
King Ottokar's Sceptere
The Crab with the Golden Claws
The Shooting Star
The Secret of the Unicorn
Red Rackham's Treasure
The Seven Crystal Balls
Prisoners of the Sun
Land of Black Gold
Destination Moon
Explorers on the Moon
The Calculus Affair
The Red Sea Sharks
Tintin in Tibet
The Castafiore Emerald
Flight 714
Tintin and the Picaros
Well I hope this has been a good read for you Tintin fans and I hope those of you who have never heard of the series give it a try.
Hell yes, who doesn't love Mario? Even the kids today who pretend they don't like Mario, deep down they can't go to sleep at night without their Mario plush toy. That's how awesome Mario is, and that's why today we're going to be taking a look at the...
I made this all by myself!
10-Super Mario Land
This is an interesting game, it was not directly developed by Miyamoto, and there are a few people who really don't like this game. Personally I find it entertaining and it's basically your typical 2D Mario just a little twisted. Literally this game is strange, the Koopas are suicide bombers, Daisy has the hots for Mario instead of Luigi, there's a level in a very oriental looking area with evil leprechauns, but hey it's got some stages where you fly/swim around shooting things!
9-Paper Mario
I don't like RPG's, I really don't like RPG's, I find them boring and tedious, but for some reason Paper Mario holds a special place in my heart. It's just really entertaining. Basically you're running through a Mushroom Kingdom made of paper and fighting bad guys. There's some really intelligent dungeon design here and some great puzzles to solve. The turn based battles feature all kinds of special moves to pull off and are quite entertaining. Combine this with excellent graphics and sound and you've got a winner on your hands.
8-Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga
I meant it when I said I didn't like RPG's, but Mario and Luigi: Superstar Saga is just too damn entertaining to pass up. Like with Paper Mario this game has that unique Mario twist. The turn based battles feature tons of options, there's some clever puzzles that require both brothers and loads of entertaining side-quests. That and the writing is excellent, pure sibling hilarity. Too bad the sequel didn't live up to this classic.
7-Dr. Mario
Ahh, the Dr. Mario vs. Tetris debate, it will never end, but one thing is for sure: Dr. Mario is one hell of a game. It's simple premise allows for hours of addicting fun; just line up for of the same colored pills to destroy the viruses. You're forced to think quick as the pills drop faster and the colors become more random. Dr. Mario is just what the doctor ordered!
6-Mario vs. Donkey Kong
Such an overlooked game, Mario vs. Donkey Kong rekindles the classic rivalry of man vs. ape in a battle for supremacy. Mario has just opened a new toy company to play off of his success (stinking capitalism at work er... I mean wonderful capitalism at work, wouldn't want anyone thinking I'm communist*), and DK decides he wants one. However the store is sold out (I HATE CAP-I MEAN COMMUNISM*) and everyone's favorite ape goes ape shit. This puzzle platformer is ingeniously designed with some truly devilish puzzles as the game progresses. Combine that fact with excellent graphics and sound and you've got one hell of a ride-CAPITA-COMMUNISM SUCKS!*
5-Super Mario 64
You can pretty much guess what the next four games after this one are, I mean Mario is all about platforming fun so why shouldn't I be placing platformers up high on the list? Anyway Super Mario 64 I beleive needs no introduction. It's what brought 3D gaming into the mainstream, it created a broad non-linear world for Mario to explore and layed down the framework for a successful 3D Mario game, but it didn't perfect it...
4-Super Mario Bros. 3
Super Mario Bros. 3, if I hadn't placed this game on the list I would have been accused of being a communist*, because you see in Soviet Russia Mario games play you*. This game took the formula from the first two Super Mario Bros. andonce again layed down the framework of how to make a great Mario game. Giant varied levels,simple controls, and graphics and sound that pushed the NES to it's maximum capabilities. Everyone knows just how great Super Mario Bros. 3 is, and some consider it to be the best game ever made. However it didn't perfect the formula
Super Mario World did.
Multiple paths, 16-Bit, and of course Yoshi. Super Mario World is essentially the ultimate of the traditional Mario games. It took everything from every previous Mario and took the framework of SMB3 and made it better. With over ninety levels most of which are truly devilish, Mario World is a game that I spent hours playing, and what hours they were...
2-Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island
I don't know how many lists I've included this game in, in my opinion this game is the best 2D platformer ever made. It takes the simple idea of throwing eggs at things and makes a whole game centered around it. It's child-like graphics and music combined with some of the best level design ever help to make this game a classic. Another overlooked portion is it's unique boss fights most of which require you to use your surroundings (and your head) to beat the boss. How many games feature a fight against a flower pot?
And the number one Mario game of all time is...
1-Super Mario Galaxy
If the Mario series was to end right now, you know that would be a-ok, because Super Mario Galaxy is the perfect conclusion. It took everything that was great about every Mario game and boiled them all down into one awesome package. Simple controls, a gimmick that actually works, and a giant mole. This game has it all. Super Mario Galaxy is Mario. Hey a new Wario Land game! Must have!!!
*I really am a communist, don't worry I won't lead any rebellions, it's just I admire the principles...CENSORSHIP
Jesus Christ, I am so sick of those Mary statues. I don't mind people having a religion, but pleasedon't flaunt it. I'd like to take all those statues and melt them down into some source of energy to solve our energy crisis.
Anyway, hello my partners in blogging! Today we're going to be taking a look at the Top 10 Greatest Platformers of all time. Why platformers? Simple: platformers define video gaming. Chances are the first game most people play is a platformer. Unlike certain genres coughcoughrpgcoughcough platformers are pick up and play gaming at their best. So please join me for...
Hell yes. The Adventures of Tintin! A wonderful series of graphic novels which was adapted into one of the most overlooked cartoons of the ninties! Now you're probably wondering: "Oh ZGDK where did you ever find the episodes? They never released the DVD's in America!" Simple mi compadre, You Tube. Some kind soul uploaded all the episodes to You Tube and I used Real Player to download them! Take that media moguls!
Wait... I've just put myself up against, hold on... Corus Entertainment, the parent company of Nelvana. I have but one thing to say, do your worst!
Anyway, Part Uno should be up in about a week, week and a half. Adios, muchachos!
I think we users here at That Guy With the Glasses are lucky in a sort of way to have an intelligent user base. This is most likely due to the fact that we have little or even no middle school users. However the rest of the Internet isn't so lucky. I am of course talking about the oh so intelligent users of You Tube...
Now I just want to start off by saying, I'm not trying to rip off Understanding n00bs, although I will be analyzing some poorly written comments, I'm not trying to cash in on Mike Industries fame, just provide my opinion on the growing idiot epidemic. I'll also be moving past the Internet and looking at the real world epidemic of...
wh3|\| teh s1>1t h1tz teh 4@n: Butchering the English Language
I love to read and write, I'm in an honors English class, and although I'm terrible at spelling and even worse at grammar, I at least try to make what I write look presentable and above all readable. Here's an example of a comment I found for the song "Imagine" by John Lennon:
Ah, the NES... Who doesn't love the NES? I can name a few people, but hey that's not what this blog is about. After my Wii rant yesterday I've decided to go back and chronicle the Top 10 NES and SNES games, and since NES came first I guess we're starting off with the Nintendo Entertainment System. For the most part these are in no praticular order.
Yeah I wish it was Wii video game, but sadly we're stuck with what we've got. Now before I go any further I want to introduce my guest speakers whom I revived from the graveyard. Introducing the girl that got smashed by a car at eleven o' clock, the young dead soldier, and that kid who has a tree outside the school that serves as a memorial. I've been practicing necromancy. Welcome lady and gentlemen.
Now you're probably wondering what this blog is about. Well it's about the Wii and its severe lack of actual video games. You see I view the Wii as such:
Jesus fucking Christ Almighty, I have to review Pokemon. Well on a forum I frequent I asked for suggestions on what my next blog should be about and a friend of mine who um... likes anime... a lot suggested I review Kanon. However I have no idea what the hell that is (UPDATE! It's got a girl with wings!) and then he suggested Pokemon, so I took said suggestion. If you're reading this Jirachi82 thanks for the suggestion and I'm not really making fun of you, you're awesome, and I love you in the most non-homosexual way possible.
Anyway, I'm not a huge fan of anime. I'll put it bluntly like that. I like the older 80's/90's anime, Miyazaki (Who DOESN'T like Miyazaki?), One Piece, Dragon Ball Z, etc... What I can't stand is "Moe Anime", you know the giant eyes and all that. Well it's not the giant eyes, because plenty of cartoons have giant eyes, it's just the extremity to which their drawn.
Holy shit, that is frightening, I'm so glad we don't really have eyes like that!
See, I like the older anime, the art style is um... less... gigantic?
So now that we've established that I do like anime, let's dig into the epic known as Pokemon.
Pokemon, I used to play Pokemon an awful lot, but then I came to a stunning revelation as I was preparing to train a Dugtrio. You can never "Catch 'em All!", because with each new game one hundred more of the little critters pop up! Now actually catching the Pokemon is something else entirely. It all seems to be based on luck rather than skill. Sure there are items you can use, but as the game progresses catching Pokemon becomes more about luck than anything else. Example: I want to catch a Zapdos, I have one Ultra Ball, that's it. So I save my game and battle the Zapdos. I just keep trying over and over, doing nothing but throwing the ball and eventually I catch it.
Luck. It seems to play a major role in Pokemon games, the puzzles in the dungeons usually require little more than wandering aimlessly through the dungeon pushing rocks around until you manage to get out.
In one of the more recent games there's Pokemon known as "Regis". These bastards are so elusive. In order to catch them you must wander the world until you find a certain dead on spot to dive into. Then you need to read braille to... wait! What the fuck? Braille! I'm not fucking blind (Apologies to blind people everywhere!), and there's no in game guide! You're screwed! The only solution is checking Game Faqs. Once you decode the message there's a whole slew of crap you have to do it's mind boggling!
The worst thing is the Pokemon given away at promotional events. You have to leave your house and go to a convention of people nerdier than I am (Trust me, that's really nerdy) and wait in a two plus hour line to get your Pokemon. Also there's cosplayers here, and cosplay frightens me. There's nothing wrong with unleashing your inner geek, I do it all the time, but this is taking it way too far. I actually went to one of these conventions, it was hell. Absolute hell.
Now onto the Pokemon anime. The main problem with the anime can be summed up with one picture:
Oh boy.
Meet Ash Ketchum, our hero. Well he isn't much of a hero considering he cries when he looses, but hey it's okay for men to have an emotional side, but this kid cries over the stupidest of things! Oh dear! I lost a Pokemon battle! Suck it up, welcome to the real world.
The problem with the show is that it's simply nothing more than a marketing vehicle for video games and trading cards. In this sense every episode is the exact same thing. These two very strange criminals known as Jesse and James show up in every episode to try and steal Pikachu. There have been 565 episodes and about 95% involve this basic plot.
The similarities don't end there, it gets worse, much worse. You see each episode involves Ash and his paper thin friends meeting characters with personalities about as thin as tracing paper. No wrapping paper, wet wrapping paper. Every single episode, every single movie, the writing for this show is terrible!
The battles themselves are mind numbing and horribly boring. As if the story wasn't horrible enough, the battles hold as much excitement as watching nothing but television static. Also if Ash wants to be a Pokemon master, why is it that he's always loosing when he reaches the Pokemon League? That's because Ash sucks and needs to haul his ass home and go to school! Seriously why aren't these kids in school? Where the hell are Kanto (Jack Kirby used the name Kanto far before Pokemon, Kanto is the name of one of Darkseid's henchmen) and Jhoto and Hoenn?
I'll admit it, I like the basic concept of the Pokemon games: training monsters and engaging in often strategic battles. Personally a game where you just customize Pokemon and battle would be so much fun, I don't have the time to train and do all that IV? training. That and the gameplay (excluding the battles) sucks balls. I'll just end this rant on another picture:
What's up peoples? I was racking my brain thinking just what my next "Animated Awesomness TM" blog should be, and I decided that I wanted to do a review of Super Mario Galaxy. I originally posted this review on Game Faqs last year and aside from some minor tweaks it is the same review. Had to bold that or someone would accuse me of plagarisim even though review has my name on it at Game Faqs also, but hey some people are idiots.
What can I say about Mario galaxy? Besides the fact the game is one goddam awesome joy-ride! From the moment you turn on the game to the moment you turn it off you'll get a non-stop rush down your spine! But that rush means nothing unless the game is good. Is it? You ask me.
The story is general Mario fare. Bowser kidnaps Peach, takes her into outer-space and Mario gives chase. He'll meet up with a new character: Princess Rosalina who travels the cosmos in a giant observatory. The story is a little dramatic when she enters the mix as her back-story just feels very non-Marioish. It sort of just felt like an unnecessary addition to an otherwise perfect story (and by perfect story I mean that for EVERY Mario game). However with a little tweaking it could've been better. A lot of classic characters such as Peach, Luigi, the Toads (although Toadsworth is missing), and Bowser Jr. get mixed up in this event adding a nice bit of nostalgia to all you Mario fans.
But hey this is Mario, who cares about the story? I don't. If you play Mario games for the story now would be a good time to call that therapist you've been thinking about. The game is hardcore platforming. Running, jumping, and all of Mario's moves are a breeze to pull of, and make traversing the gigantic 40+ levels a joy. However unlike previous Mario games, Galaxy has something the others didn't. Gravity plays a pivotal role in the game. Many of the different planets each have their own gravity meaning you can run under, over, and all around them. Rather then fear jumping from planet to planet because of the bottomless pit seen in many Mario games, Mario can safely jump because of the whacked-out gravity. Never fear though, there are still plenty of good ol' gigantic platforming worlds to explore.
Your main objective is to gather the Power Stars scattered across the universe by going through crazy platforming levels. The platforming by the way is top-notch. The levels are gigantic filled with deadly traps and all kinds of enemies. However while the game is defiantly challenging and frustrating, it's never cheap, never will you feel like something was done just to make you feel angry, it was done to make the game fun. The gravity aspect is also extremely fun. While it may be disorienting at first, by the end of the game it'll be just like second nature. One of the great things also is that the levels are not just for show. They've integrated the levels design into the gameplay. For example in the Toy Time Galaxy you'll be running around a giant toy Bowser unhinging its appendages. This really adds some variety to the game that I enjoyed.
The game also features a horde of inventive boss battles. These bosses aren't hard, but the freaking awesome. When was the last time you got to run up the leg of a giant robot or destroy a half-plant half-dinosaur? The bosses require you to use your surroundings in order to pick out their weak point. My only complaint is that towards the end of the game you start to fight some bosses over again. I would've liked to see some more variety.
The game does feature a degree of Wiimote interactivity. Some levels will have you tilting, twisting, and pointing the Wiimote every which way. Most of the times you'll use the star cursor to pick up Star its lying around which can be used as weapons or currency. This is extremely fun and helps get you away from the typical analog-control stick. Sometimes the motion sensitivity can be a bit off and this will lead to some frustration, most of the time it works just fine.
Like other Mario games Galaxy features a bunch of crazy moves. The Wall Jump, Ground Pound, Back flip, Somersault, and Long Jump all make their return however Mario now has a new Spin attack. You'll use this attack, to fight enemies and solve puzzles. All it takes is a quick spin of the Wiimote. And like in other Mario games you get some zany Power Ups. The Fire Flower finally makes its 3D debut along with the Ice Flower. You can wear a Bee Suit to fly short distances and climb honeycombs. Or how about becoming one of Mario's most feared enemies, the Boo? Each power-up does something completely different, whether it is walking on water, flying through walls, etc. The Power-Ups are all fun and never difficult to control; most require you to simply flick the Wiimote or press a button. It's that simple. The same can also be said for all of Mario's other moves, they are never difficult to pull off or control. Unlike other 3D games with power-ups where you see them once you'll be using these quite often. The moves and power-ups have so much variety it makes it fun to just screw around with them every now and again.
As you've most likely seen from videos and screenshots, Galaxy looks AMAZING. The animations are fluid, and the frame rate never drops below 60 frames per second. But the best part is how nostalgic the graphics are. Koopas, Goombas, Bob-Ombs, and all your other favorite enemies such as Magikoopas all retain their classic yet updated looks. Also making a return are Bowser's airships which look great by the way. The graphics are also very bright and colorful and the environments are detailed. Combine this with Mario's art style, some nostalgia, and you've got a game that surpasses even Metroid Prime 3 graphically.
Along with great graphics must come great music? And Galaxy delivers. The Koji Kondo soundtrack is fully orchestrated and the music fits each level like a glass slipper. None of the sound is delivered through the Wiimote so everything you hear is straight from your TV's speakers. Like the graphics the sound is extremely nostalgic. All your favorite tunes and sound effects are here and they've been fully orchestrated. The music really gets the feel of each level. While it's the calming soothing sounds of Space Junk Galaxy or the fast paced frenzy of Melty Molten, the game delivers.
Alright my slaves, welcome back to Part Dos (Espanol numbers, I've gotta practice mi Espanol). Let's start things off at...
10-World's Finest (Episodes 39, 40, and 41)
After stealing a statue made out of solid Kryptonite, The Joker offers Superman's head on a platter to Lex Luthor for $1 billion. Batman follows the clown to Metropolis and Bruce Wayne soon forms a relationship with Lois Lane. Superman doesn't enjoy having Batman around saying he doesn't tolerate vigilantism (Isn't Supes a vigilante?) in his town. Instead of doing some huge action-packed epic we have a more character driven story story. It still has it's intense moments, but what makes this episode excellent is it's interaction between the characters and the difference in Superman and Batman's approach to what they beleive in.
9-New Kids in Town (Episode 43)
Despite reminding me of a shitty pop band this episode is actually quite excellent. In the year 29 something something, Brainiac has gone back in time to kill a young Clark Kent. Three members of the Legion of Superheroes give chase and meet up with Clark. Clark himself is having social troubles involving a rival on his basketball team and all that high school shit. Now one thing I noticed about this episode is that everyone owns a rifle in this episode. That's because this takes place in the midwest and they must shoot off the "pinko gays and the negroes". Overall an intense episode with an excellent story and a creepy as hell ending.
8-Mxyzpixilated (Episode 21)
Mr. Mxyzplix; an interdimensional imp has decided he wants to get the better of Superman by playing all sorts of tricks on him. This episode is Superman's Almost Got 'Im. It's lighthearted, clever, and gut splitting funny. The chemistry between Mxyz and Supes and between Mxyz and Gspntz is spot on. Overall an excellent episode defintley worth your time.
7-Where There's Smoke... (Episode 42)
A new theif known as Volcana has come to town with her pyrokenetic abilities. On the run from the government who tried to turn her into a living weapon, Supes gets tangeled up into Volcana's life as he tries to stop the twisted man behind her existence. This episode has Superman fighting against the government, and that's awesome. In all honesty this is a tightly paced episode with an intesne story. It's also Firestarter in animated form.
6-Brave New Metropolis (Episode 25)
In this episode Prof. Hamilton (I hated how they turned him evil in Justice League, it's clear at the end of Legacy he was just shook up by things a bit and that he just needs some time to accept Superman as a friend again) using the Phantom Zone technology has created an interdimensional portal. Lois gets trapped in another version Metropolis whereshe's dead and Superman traumatized by her death causes him to team up with Luthor to clean up the city. Jimmy leads the rebels against Superman and Luthor and Lois is brought closer and closer into the web of deception and lies. This episode was the first to take some huge risks in terms of story and is an overall excellent episode.
5-The Way of All Flesh (Episode 7)
John Corben now living the high life in prison after the events of The Last Son of Krypton somehow contracts a deadly disease and Luthor offers to transfer him into a robot made of "metallo" powered by a Kryptonite heart. It came down between this episode or Heavy Metal and in the end it was a clear choice. After kissing Lois and finding out he can't feel anything Corben goes insane, rips off half his skin and dubs himself Metallo. I am a huge Metallo fan and I love his look an voice in this series. The twist comes at the end when it's revealed that Luthor was the one who poisoned Corben with the disease and it leads to one satisfying climax.
4-The Hand of Fate (Episode 29)
This episode gets a lot of flack, but I personally love it. Some dumbass theif unleashes an aceint demon known as Karkull. Karkull takes over the Daily Planet building turning everyone, even Jimmy and Lois into his servants. Superman tries to enlist Dr. Fate, but Fate gave up the battle against evil years ago saying it's futile. He's now moved onto the metaphysical realm. However Fate has second thoughts and comes to help Supes defeat Karkull once and for all. Overall some great animation and a great story help to make this one of my personal favorites.
3-Little Girl Lost (Episodes 37 and 38)
The second true Darkseid episode and the introduction of Supergirl; what more could one ask for? One of the most awesome villains Granny Goodness has taken over Intergang. She's also Darkseid's second in command and the leader of the Female Furies. Meanwhile Superman saves Kara from the dead planet Argos and takes her back to Earth. She sneaks off to Metropolis under her guise as Supergirl and gets more than she bargined for... Granny has built a machine that will act as a magnet for a comet, destroying Earth. Overall an excellent introduction to Supergirl.
#2-Apokolips... Now! (Episodes 33 and 34)
This should have been the conclusion to the series instead of Legacy. As good an episode as Legacy is Apokolips... Now! is better. The New God: Orion has been sent to Earth to warn of Darkseid's impending attack. Now Darkseid is a bastard has he tantalized one with his apperances all series, and this time he's finally here! This episode has an excellent story where the tension builds up and up and up until it reaches a climax of epic proportions. Add the death of Dan Turpin to all of this and you have an episode that's terror resonates long after it's over...
#1-Superman's Pal (Episode 51)
This episode is fucking awesome! Look at that stunning animation, and the voice acting! It's got Metallo in it! I mean this episode is so awesome! This episode is a fucking joke! It should burn in hell! I fucking hate it!
The Real #1-The Late Mr. Kent
An innocent man is being condemned to death for a crime he didn't commit, unless Clark can prove his innocence. Clark gets the evidence, but the real killer sets off a car bomb in Clark's car. The evidence is destroyed along with Clark's normal clothes. Left in his Superman suit he has to get out of the water, but there's a fisherman and this causes problems. The first half of the episode is narrated by Clark as he tells us just what's going on. We also see the return of the bad cop Detective Bowman (previously shown in Target) as our bad guy here. In the end turns out the fisherman had horrid eyesight so Clark can go on being Clark. The best part is the ending where Bowman is being gassed to death and he realizes just who Superman is, and now he'll take it to the grave. Chilling. This episode is excellent, because it shows just who Clark Kent is. The show always did use the Post-Crisis rendition of having Clark be the real person and Superman the mask, but this episode reinforces this greatly. An overall excellent episode and worthy of being number one!
Well that's it for Top 20's until later on when we get to Top 20 Justice League/Justice League Unlimited Episodes, but that's not for a far ways off. ZGDK out!
A chicken farm at night. The sky is clear and the moon is high in the sky. A chicken is using a spoon to dig through the Earth. She and her friends are trying to escape. A fat man and his vicious dogs stalk the farm. They catch the chicken. The man sternley tells the chicken: "No chicken escapes from Tweedy's Farm." Welcome to the epic film that is Chicken Run.
Alright Chicken Run! Well this claymation film is brought to us by Nick Park and Peter Lord, the guys behind the Wallace and Gromit short films. Hey you know what? Maybe we'll review the Wallace and Gromit feature film someday. Anyway I saw this film when I was a wee little lad when it first came out in theaters. It still manages to amaze me to this day.What's this movie about? Chickens trying to escape a Yorkshire chicken farm. It takes place in the fiftes.
The film starts off as we noted with our main character Ginger trying to escape Tweedy's Chicken Farm. That fatass is Mr. Tweedy and that bitch he's married to is Mrs. Tweedy. Mr. Tweedy is a paranoid schizonphrenic man who has delusions that the chickens are organized and they're trying to escape the farm. What the hell is this man smoking? Honestly? I mean chickens rising up against humans! Poppycock! I'll have you know when my grandfather was young his father owned a chicken farm! And those chickens never tried to escape.
Wait, the chickens are organized and they are trying to escape? And these chickens have hands and wear clothing? Holy shit this movie is going to be epic.
So anyway there's a few important chickens (and others). Ginger is our main character and she's leading the revolt against the damn dirty humans, Babs is a ditzy little thing who loves to knit, Bunty is a fat bitch, Mac is a scientist who creates all sorts of shit, Fowler is a retired army rooster, and Nick and Fetcher are two scheming mice salesmen.
Anyway so the Mrs. Tweedy comes in for the morning egg inspection when she discovers that one chicken hasn't layed any eggs in a whole week. This is not good. The chicken who's name is Edwina is taken to the shed and turned into dinner. Yum, when do we get to eat? I'm starving! I, uh mean we must not speak ill of the dead.
Mrs. Tweedy decides that she's sick of making miniscule profits and at that moment discovers a pamphlet in the mail asking her if she's tired of just that. It proceeds to tell her how she can turn her chicken farm into a gold mine by buying this machine that makes... Chicken pies! The gravy encrusted horrors! You know this movie actually inspired me to make a homemade chicken pot pie.
You know what? It's all the food chain. Animals eat each other in the wild all the time, but the way wesystamatecially kill animals is just plain wrong! That's why Mrs. Tweedy is a bitch that should burn in the firey pits of hell!
Anyway Ginger is trying to motivate everyone to rise up against the opression, but the chickens are beginning to feel that it's hopeless. Then an explosion in the distance and a rooster named Rocky lands in the farm! Apparently he's from the United States and he can fly! Ginger decides that she wants Rocky to teach them to fly. So she puts up his poster to motivate everyone (the bottom of the poster is mysteriously missing). Rocky claims he's a lone free ranger. Chicken shit.
Anyway a man from the circus comes looking for Rocky and Ginger hides Rocky with Fowler who refuses to have anything to do with "Yanks". The next day Rocky begins to teach the chickens how to "fly", but things don't go to well.
Meanwhile Mrs. Tweedy gets her death machine up and running and singles out Ginger to be their test subject. Rock jumps into action to save Ginger! Also Rocky's wing has healed so now he can give them a flying demonstartion tommorow. Alright the pie machine scene is awesome. It really shows off what claymation can do (I just love claymation, there needs to be more claymation!) and it's an intense scene! Plus the chickens are fighting a machine that makes chicken pot pies. Mull that over for a second.
Rocky manages to save Ginger and Fowler gives him a medal. However Rocky runs off leaving behind a part of the poster. Turns out he's shot out of a cannon. Well, duh! Chickens can't fucking fly! Jesus fucking Christ almighty! Well the chickens find a picture of an airplane in Fowler's army trunk and decide they're going to build an airplane.
Meanwhile Mr. Tweedy is trying to fix the machine.
Now I want to mention two characters for a moment. Nick and Fetcher. These two mice salesmen are the ones who have been supplying Ginger with the nessecary machine parts to build all her contraptions. They love eggs and Rocky once promised them he'd lay them eggs for them. They called him a sucker, but they're the suckers. Gotta' love British humour.
Anyway the airplane gets up and running, but apparently Fowler can't fly. He was the mascot of the army, they would never let chickens behind complex machinery! Anyway there's a huge airplane scene, Rocky returns and Mrs. Tweedy gets her ass handed to her. The chickens live happily ever after.
This movie is fucking awesome. The claymation is wonderful and the creators are defintley experts in their field. It's a great story with great pacing and of course some British humour. Overall Chicken Run makes me run with joy.
You know, maybe in the near future I might review Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit...
Yeah, so I dropped the Animated Awesomness byline. This blog shall still be called Animated Awesomness, but the titles are just too long and I don't feel like writing everything out. Anyway today I've decided to go ahead and post Part Uno of my Top 20 Superman: The Animated Series list. Now when I decided to write this list I ran into a huge problem. The show never quite flew. Yeah, it was created by Bruce Timm which means it automatically gets awesome points, but the stories that had so much potential just fizzle out into twenty two my-nute slug fests. BUT! I will write this Top 20 and I will not let my adoring public down! That's because I have returned http://www.thatguywiththeglasses.com! Alright so starting with...
Also I love how they powered down Superman, removing his god-like abilities of spinning around the world and turning back time and making it so he can get killed.
Ahh, my adoring public. I know you all miss me, and I miss blogging to. However I'm back in high school sadly, and I get home kind of late, because of the screwed up bus schedule (That will all change very soon if you catch my drift), and I'm exhausted. However Sunday I will have the Chicken Run Review up, and Saturday one of the other blogs I promised will be up. I am also diligentley working on watching all the episodes of Superman TAS for the epic Top 20 list. So stay tuned, ZGDK is back!
Now I know, you are probably saying: "lol, dIS muvIE CAme out in tEh suMMer, earli n." Well I just saw it deal with it. I don't know why I saw it so late, but if you want my opinion I blame The Dark Knight for overriding my love of animation. Damn you Dark Knight and your movie about Batman! Damn you! Now I suppose one came here to read my totally awesome review of Wall-E, and of course amigo. Of course. I'm lovin' it, heh, heh...
Alright so Wall-E, it all starts off on an Earth filled with trash. Literally there are mountains of trash everywhere, skyscrapers of trash. Now there is one other thing here, ads for a company called Buy N Large litter the streets. Apparently Buy N Large owns everything even the fucking government. We spot a magazine with a live action photo of a smiling president accompinied with the caption: Prez Declares National Emergency. God, these people are fucking dumbasses, is there not one smart person left?
Well whatever so we meet up with Wall-E, a robot who's job is only to pick up trash and compact it into square blocks. The last of his make, Wall-E has been activated for so long it has turned him into a sentinent being, and he collects everything he finds. He is also responsible for the skyscrapers of trash blocks. Wall-E also has a cockroach friend, and loves the movie Hello, Dolly! One day during one of Wall-E's many excursions he comes across a holographic sign which explains that humans have left Earth on these luxury cruise liners (and hey they ad is in live action!) until Earth is clean enough to return to.
Anyway Wall-E also finds a tiny, little plant which he places in an old shoe. Did I also mention the toxic storms that plague the planet? Anyway one day a ship drops off another robot named EVE, whom Wall-E falls in love with. She plays hard to get by shooting at him. Anyway EVE's job is to scan looking for life, make a long story short she scans the plant and goes dormant, this upsets Wall-E enough that he follows her into space...
We pass the moon where a Buy N Large mini mall was about to open, the sun, and Saturn. These shots simply put are amazing. But more on that later. Anyway the pair finally lands on the Axion, the giant cruise liner, and it's filled with robots. One robot is constantly obsessed with cleaning and cleaning up after Wall-E. Anyway we finally meet the humans who are all fat and can't walk due to be in space for so long and being so lazy. They're also living in a simulated enviornment. They all wear skin tight jumpsuits like, hold on:
Hello... Dolly! Mmmm.
Sorry, I can't resist placing some risque jokes in every now and again. Anyway humans are fat and lazy, and Eve is brought to the capatin to show him the plant. They are to immediatley set course for Earth, now that it can sustain life again, but the plant goes missing.
Now Wall-E and Eve have an adventure in the mantnince room, and are soon declared rogue robots after a little "accident". So they are chased around the ship, and find the plant about to be ejected back to Earth. Turns out the first mate of the ship, a robot steering wheel named Otto has a directive from the Buy N Large president not to return to Earth, as humans fucked up for good this time around. Did I mention the Buy N Large president looks like Ronald Regan. Hmmm, I sense a connection...
Moving on, Wall-E and Eve save the day and the robots return to Earth and Wall-E gets the girl.
So what did I think of this movie? I think it was fucking awesome. I loved the fact that there was very little dialogue throughout the film, and as much as the flood of CGI pisses me off, this movie was a visual treat. This movie is epic, it's amazing, and mmm Samus....
