This is where you will find the posted works of Raistlinhawke aka Gavin Greene aka Hawke Culbertson aka Bard aka The 'Fro aka Me. We're talking rants, reviews, news, everyday life, creative briefs for games and movies I want to see, previous published material from all over the internet, and the occasional "I'm bored" diatribe. Suggested listing music is anything that sounds halfway decent, and suggested snack-age is anything your parents ever said was bad for you. This is my domain, and I thank ya for stopping by to hear me bitch.
Awesome sauce in a can.
Platforms:Playstation 3,Xbox 360,Microsoft Windows
Plot
In a future straight out of Orwell's '1984,' where all actions of daily life are regulated and monitored by the government, you take control of Faith, a woman struggling to retrieve her sister from the clutches of the omniscient government regime. Our protagonist is a runner, a member of an elite group of citizens living on the outskirts of the city, in the corner of the security camera's rotation. They are the last denizens of free thought, carriers of information and objects their owners don't want to go through stiff government legislation. In constant battle with local police forces, dubbed 'blues' in runner slang, wanting to shut down their operation, Faith and her company free-run across town, using the city's angular building design against it.
The plot is mainly told through 2-D animated cutscenes, with a few moments playing out in-game. Its a common setup with a bit of character motive through in to individualize it, but here's hoping the narrative pulls away from cliche long enough to make us happy we just parkour-ed our way through dystopian downtown.
Style
As we all have heard from the title song played over nearly every released gameplay video (named 'Still Alive', a bit awkwardly in a post-Portal world), the soundtrack takes a bit of a techno-hinged ambiance to it, reflecting the rigid design and bright color palette of most of the city's buildings while tossing a bit of a electric heartbeat to add to the main running mechanic of the IP's gameplay. The symmetrical, and almost boring, landscape design looks uninviting from afar, but acts as simple way to create easily recognizable patterns of platforms for Faith to free-run to and from. The way the level design is built around preserving our lead runner's momentum is its true draw, where a sort of poetry of motion arises out of the convenience Dice has given to the layout, placing two ascending rooftops beneath a ripe-line that leads to a series of grabbable pipes should give the player a sense of fluidity and rhythm.
Character designs not cloaked in SWAT gear look a bit behind the design timeline, but considering how little they appear in 3-D, it shouldn't be too much of a bother. In-level, we see Faith sometimes reflected in the windows of more decorated buildings, but otherwise we only glimpse her arms and hands, again giving the majority of focus on the organization of usable objects in each level. The whole game has a sense of a brightly colored take on the German film 'Run Lola Run,' which is not a bad thing.
Gameplay
Mirror's Edge takes place entirely in first-person, save for the non-interactive animated cutscenes. The player controls only Faith, guiding her sliding, jumping, climbing, and rolling along the various branching paths within each level to her destination. Gunplay is involved at times, but Dice has come out and readily acknowledged that the shooting mechanics were where the least amount of time was devoted, as the focus of the game revolves much more on the disarming of guns rather than their use (the most famous Mirror's Edge trophy/achievement is given when the player never shots a gun.) The player enters a sort of quicktime event whenever attempting a disarm, where the accuracy and speed of the controller input dictates how well and quickly Faith gets the gun out of the officer's hand.
The most toted ideal of Mirror's Edge is the preservation of momentum. The player is encouraged to swiftly move from one interactive element of the level to another (leaping off a rootop to slide under a railing, etc.) in order to achieve a sense of speed and athletic power that comes with parkour, Faith will miss jumps if lacking sufficient momentum to do so. Although speed is encouraged, the levels do also feature several hidden messenger bags the player could collect for special in-game bonuses (and trophy score) and several paths the player could choose in order to get to the end of a level. One stage has both a rooftop path, complete with ropelines and pipe-climbing, and a ground path with a couple wall-scaling moments.
It seems highly possible that, once exploring or looking for collectibles, the game could take a less entertaining turn from when the player gets a handle on the free-running aspects, but hopefully Dice has created enough levels where the player feels like a free-runner, with the reticule in the center of the screen preventing any causes of vertigo.
Structure
Mirror's Edge runs off of the Unreal Engine 3 with a newly designed lighting structure (designed by Illuminate Labs,) in order to achieve their bright and contrasting color design. Like most major releases of this year, the Heads Up Display (H.U.D.) has been taken away in order to maximize the sense of immersion. Damage is shown by the edges of the screen slowly reddening, the colors of the world fading to muddled grey as more damage is absorbed. The game is broken up into 10 chapters, with a total runtime of around 7-9 hours, depending on play style. Parts of some levels will also be available in a Time Attack mode, where the player attempts to run to a endpoint against their own times, online leaderboards, or downloaded 'ghosts' of other player's times. There are no other multiplayer functions in the game.
- There was some speculation about Mirror's Edge being a timed PS3 exclusive, based on a mis-quote by Mike Reeves, the CEO of Sony Europe.
- Eurogamer reports that Mirror's Edge will receive exclusive downloadable content only on the Playstation 3 version, available via the Playstation Network. No further details or release date have been announced.
- The Playstation 3 release has been reported to have slightly better graphics than its Xbox 360 and PC counterparts, in addition to the promise of DLC.
Outro
This is a really unique game that hopes to create a bigger sense of satisfaction and awesomeness that we felt in Assassin's Creed, guiding Altair across rooftops. If more games like this receive decent sales, we can hope to weed out the abundance of brainless shooters the market is saturated with and give a renewed focus to games with a personal sense of style and function.
After my tirade against the religious oppression of gays inherent in their propositional efforts on Tuesday, I decided to flesh out my political exploits by including a score-sheet of what I voted for or against this year. Amidst raving, rabid political rants, of course.
A Blue November
President/Vice President of the United States: My Vote:Barack Obama/Joe Biden Outcome:Barack Obama/Joe Biden (with 53% of popular vote)
Everyone with a pulse knows of Obama’s victory, and the hope and joy that it caused in multiple communities. Anyone watching on television would call the victory a landslide, with Obama coming away with 364 electoral votes, McCain scrounging to pick up his 162. But, like many people, I find the electoral college to be an outdated model of polling in this country, as it was first designed when the country slightly more than a dozen states. Ah, who am I kidding? I want popular vote to supersede any other polling data because if that was the case in 2000, Al Gore would have been president by a solid margin. Speaking of margins, a lot of people believe that the 53/47% break between Obama and McCain on the popular vote is not a huge difference, and mathematically speaking, they’re right. But Obama came away with the highest margin in the popular vote since Bush Sr. in 1988, and the highest of a democrat since Johnson since 1964, according to The Wall Street Journal. I am extremely happy with the outcome of this election, even though it wasn’t the most difficult one to predict. Between Obama and McCain, I side with the democrats on more than 70% of the issues this time around (McCain’s stance on nuclear power is the major thing I stand by with him,) and therefore gave my first legal vote in a presidential race away to the guy that I knew was going to win anyway. The selection of vice presidents only made the decision easier, with political veteran Biden against retarded housewife Palin being one of the simplest decisions I’ve ever made, up there with the time I had to decide between a fish hook shoved down my urethra or a nice slice of chocolate cake. Will Obama change the world as much as he says, not in one term, and most likely not even in a second. But electing him definitely put us on the right track to re-establishing alliances overseas, and the man can definitely put forth the beginnings of changes that those after him can continue. Among my expectations for his term in office is a possible rise in the minimum wage, pressure on businesses to adapt cheaper alternative energy products, practical discussions into alternative energy power, with funding possibility going into development of solar and wind energy plants, a withdrawal of troops from Iraq and Afghanistan, and the beginnings of a new, affordable healthcare system. The one thing Barack Obama can do while in office, to guarantee continued support from both liberal and conservative constituencies, is right before his inauguration speech, directly after taking the Oath of Office, he turns to the microphone, and with his newly established presidential powers, calls for the citizen’s arrest of John Ashcroft, Karl Rove, Donald Rumsfeld, David Wolfenstein, and Dick Cheney, with accessory charges against George W. Bush and Condoleezza Rice. If we can get pictures of PC police and secret service apprehending the inner Bush Cabinet and placing them under arrest, Obama can rely on solid support from at least half of the 76% of America that hates that administration. The dude’s got a lot ahead of him, especially with assigning “change” as his word of choice. Let’s hope he patch up the failures of the last 8 years.
California Senate/House of Representatives: My Vote:N/A/Steve Young Outcome:N/A/John Campbell (with 55.8% of popular vote)
California didn’t have anyone under senate election this year for office, but my congressional district did have two guys up for the House; the greater county, thankfully, gave both establishments Democratic majority. Although the Senate didn’t get the 60-seat majority (they gained 6 seats that the Republicans lost, giving them 57) that would allow them to bust up filibusters, their slight majority will give them the edge for the surely liberal policies that will be coming from the Obama White House. Democratic control of Congress, the Senate, and the White House; this is going to be fun! The House, on the other hand, elected against my vote for Democrat Steve Young, instead re-electing Republican John Campbell. Although he is a fiscal conservative (the only kind I like), his views on Immigration are a bit off in my taste, except for making English the national language. Despite his social conservatism, his financial stances seem solid enough, so I’m not too sad over the loss. As for the lack of Senator to vote on, I’m extremely happy with Barbara Boxer and Diane Feinstein, both share strong Democratic values and fought hard when against a Republican majority in the past. Go Women!
Proposition 1a - Safe, Reliable High-Speed Train Bond Act My Vote:Yes Outcome:Yes (with 52.2% of popular vote)
This proposition was a measure to use 30 billion of the State budget, taken out over ten years, to construct a high-speed mass-transit rail system that goes from Los Angeles/San Diego to San Francisco, effectively connecting the two major cities and halves of the state together. Even though I won’t, most likely, be able to use it to see my friends in Nor Cal (as completion dates for the earliest sections of the rail is 2011, the latest 2030), it’s a safe, reliable travel option to leave for those that can make the trek. It cuts down on congestion, interstate travel cost, and carbon emissions for the State. The upfront costs aren’t as steep as you think (estimated costs to fix the Santa Ana Highway alone rank up to 25 billion), and it’s a good way to connect the State and add a high-tech way of travel, with possible expansions to the rail being laid open for the future (entire West-Coast/Canada/Mexico connections……sweet). Awesome sauce in a can.
Proposition 2 - Standards for Confining Farm Animals My Vote:No Outcome:Yes (with 63.2% of popular vote)
The proposition sounds good, and makes farming business owners out to absolute villains. The measure would require farm owners to place creatures into pens that allow them the mobility to turn around completely. Sounds terrible, right? Must have been what everyone else thought, to. Philosophically, at least for the meat producing animals, I think it’s just polishing the deck of the Titanic; requiring an animal birthed and primed for the specific purpose of slaughter to be given living conditions seems a bit counter-productive to my ears. On a financial level, it’s going to cost California tax payers 9.5 million dollars a year to assure legal practices and government interventions are able to take action if a farmer doesn’t comply with the new regulations (giving him a fine or jail time.) Doesn’t sound like much next to the bond measure, but every little bit helps. On another financial level, every time with update farming regulation, it costs farmers money, to produce and maintain new cages and what not. Not that I am a stalwart ass-monkey for big business, but for California, agriculture and farming are huge, if not the biggest, exports we give to the rest of the country and world, and I just don’t really want to get in the way of that, in any way I can. We supply the majority of fruits and vegetables to the States, after all.
Proposition 3 – Children’s Hospital Bond Act. Grant Program My Vote:Yes Outcome:Yes (with 54.8% of popular vote)
As much as I don’t want to trust any federal employee that tells me that this money cannot be re-regulated to something other than what this bond act states, there was no way I was going to vote no on this one. Our hospitals are pathetic in this country, except when you can afford and need the cooler surgeries, and Children’s Hospitals are especially bad. This proposition will authorize $980 Million in Bonds be spent on the rebuilding or renovating of Children’s Hospitals across the State. Yeah, special interests will obviously get in their and muck things up, but this is California: if industries and corporate greed aren’t involved in all of our dealings, its not true Western spirit.
Proposition 4 - Parent Notification Before Terminating Minor's Pregnancy My Vote:No Outcome:No (with 52.2% of popular vote)
[img]http://www.ppshastadiablo...ion 5[/url] - Nonviolent Drug Offense. Sentencing, Parole, Rehab My Vote:No Outcome:No (with 60% of popular vote)
Sounds nice, especially in our pot-loving Golden State; it increases the State’s required oversight of rehabilitation of convicted drug users and reduces consequences of non-violent offenders. But, in reality, the money we save on prisons (since the druggies aren’t cluttering them up), we are spending on drug rehabilitation processes that have no guarantee of actually working (think “AA”.) On top of that, criminals can lessen their sentence on other crimes by claiming they were under the influence of drugs (making everyone an unhinged celebrity, apparently.) Unfortunately, marijuana is still being lumped legally in the heavy drug category, comparable to heroin and meth. And as much as this proposition claims to help reduce their sentence or not even be sentenced at all, the benefits of the proposition are far outweighed by its detriments.
Proposition 6 - Police, Law Enforcement Funding. Criminal Laws My Vote:No Outcome:No (with 69.4% of popular vote)
Not a single county in the state had a “yes” vote on this proposition. It would essentially place additional penalties on drug and gang crimes, adding over 30 new laws in the process. Big problems with this little ditty is that the money used to pay for additional law enforcement and legal fees would be re-allocated out of the money used to pay for Schooling, Health Services, Transportation, Housing, and Environmental Protection, leaving us safe, but stupid, sick, and homeless. It would eliminate bail for illegal aliens convicted of the aforementioned crimes (meh), and would charge 14 year olds as adults for the same crimes. With only 30 some-odd percent of the vote, it didn’t qualify to be adopted and/or amended, thankfully.
Proposition 7 - Renewable Energy Generation My Vote:Yes Outcome:No (with 65% of popular vote)
This measure didn’t pass mostly, by my opinion, because it would require Californians to pay a higher electric cost. This proposition would require California utilities to produce 50% of their power through reusable means by 2025, meeting the challenge in increments (20% by 2010, 40% by 2020, and 50% by 2025.) Those against it claimed that it was poorly written (conceited) and that it forced wind and solar power out of the market. Admittedly, I did misinterpret the proposition, probably due to its poor literary quality, but I do think a similar measure needs to be adopted in the country, if only by replaced “reusable” with “alternative.” Forcing utilities to adopt alternative energy solutions by the same date could lead to huge investments in things like biogas, solar, and wind power, leading to advanced development of emission-reducing products and services. Let’s hope next time, the Energy peeps will know how to write.
Proposition 8 – Eliminates Rights of Same-Sex Couples to Marry My Vote:No Outcome:Yes (with 52% of popular vote)
Here’s the big one. There is now an initiative being sent to the State which will change the California Constitution to define marriage as strictly between a man and a woman. It’s absolutely terrible, and it was so close for the longest time. The archaic values of the world’s largest cult now become the word of law, and gays are forbidden to hold marriage documentation in any legality. There is no way to describe it other than discrimination. Marriage is not a religious institution; the causal definition of the term has just been monopolized. I already did a diatribe on this issue in my Last Blog, so make sure to check that out.
Proposition 9 - Criminal Justice System, Victims' Rights, Parole My Vote:No Outcome:Yes (with 53.5% of popular vote)
This one greatly extends the rights and notifications of the victims of violent crimes during the incarceration process. Sounds like something everyone can agree on, right? Well, Californians seem to have forgotten that they already passed most of the measures of this proposition twenty years ago! This means that this proposition is completely toothless, only now it will cost us more money with the cost of this year adding onto the passed measure from 2 decades ago. Yeah yeah, the rights of victims are important, but enough to get bloated, useless policies passed around them twice?
The rest of the propositions were more or less throw-aways, with a veteran’s bond measure that easily passed, another alternative energy initiative that didn’t have a prayer, and a confusing revamping of re-districting (the act of shifting county and city lines based on population and other elements every decade or so) which also passed. All in all, the election paned out well, although I gladly would have exchanged a high-speed train or the rights of food for gay marriage. But alas, I am not yet master of universal opinion, and must deal with the decisions of the people.
here's another little article I wrote for the campus paper at UCI...that 650 word limit is KILLING me!
Denizens of Orange County couldn’t escape the barrage of yellow lawn signs that littered the landscape these past weeks, demanding a Yes vote on Proposition 8 in the upcoming election. Beneath the picture of a happy stick-figure family was the simple tagline, “protect marriage.” It’s as if the “Yes on 8” camp wanted voters to envision themselves galloping to the rescue of Maiden Marriage, imprisoned in the castle of the godless sodomites, creatures of no morals, content to ravish the modern family in between bouts of drug abuse and deviant sex. An overzealous description, perhaps, but the “Yes on 8” movement succeeded largely due to illustrative rhetoric that glazed over the holes in their logic. “Traditional Marriage” and “Sacred Institution” are the most potent mudslingers in their vocabulary, not directly insulting homosexuals by giving heterosexuals way too much credit, “where not against gay people, we’re just FOR traditional marriage.”
There is no such thing as a “traditional marriage,” like there is no such thing as a “traditional family.” The blanket term given the right way to marry could, and does, include: a beaten wife staying with her husband out of fear, a couple who won their marriage as a prize on a reality show, and a drunken mistake in Las Vegas; as long as the two people are of opposite gender. The outdated-ness of the term is astounding; not only was it used verbatim when interracial marriage was attempting to “destroy the foundation of society,” but “traditional marriage” comes from the nonexistent roots of the nuclear family of 1950s America. The idea of “traditional marriage” back then meant a housewife and a factory-drone husband. If Mom went to work while Dad raised the kids, it was sacrilege. True Marriage, as with everything else involving humans, evolves with time, changing and reflecting shifts in societal advances and ideals. But Traditional Marriage never has to grow out of its archaic values, but it has the two magic words.
“Sacred Institution.” That’s the kneejerk response you’re given when those against gay marriage realize they don’t have any logic to debate with. You can’t argue with the phrase, because it hides behind its haughty religious ties, like a child sticking out its tongue behind its mother’s arms. Never mind that those able to marry don’t treat it sacred; a 60% divorce rating and the ability to get an annulment faster than a pizza doesn’t make a dent in their argument. Want to know why it’s sacred? They’ll tell you. “Every study since the beginning of time...” – because cavemen were equipped with polling data – “…shows that a heterosexual couple is essential to the upbringing of sensible, moral children.” Somehow a penis and vagina are so important after the birth, that they MUST be equally present in every strong household. There is no way to justify this argument without assigning each gender their individual roles and emotions within the household. One parent has to be comforting and sensitive, the other tough but fair. Despite both genders being able to interact with children on either side of the equation, the Traditional Marriage argument dictates that there is something engrained into the DNA of men and women that make them inseparable in child-rearing. What it is, they have no answer. Science kinda requires proof, rather than hot air.
People fell for it. Despite pompous overtones and ridiculous claims, people bought it. Do they hate gays? Do they really care that much about the issue, or their religion for that matter? Of course not, it’s all spin, the easiest trick in the book. The “Yes on 8” camp used their scripts to make something simple into the first step on the path to anarchy. They stroked the egos on heterosexuals and their marriages in order to maintain religious dominance in a world that could give a crap. Love just isn’t a factor in marriage anymore.
You wouldn’t think a film with a title as blunt as “Zack and Miri Make a Porno,” would be this season’s mushiest movie, but there is an undeniable charm sprinkled through Kevin Smith’s latest post-Jersey flick, somewhere between the anal sex and bubbles blown from below the belt. Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks star as the titular friends driven to smutty creativity by their piling bills. Driven to their inspiration by a disastrous turn at a high-school reunion, the platonic couple decides to invest their remaining cash into an adult feature, using friends as crew and hiring a local cast, all while fervently ignoring the chemistry between them. Rogen (Knocked Up) continues his streak as the believable and loveable schlub that bags the girl eons beyond his league. Banks (W.) is wonderfully charming and cuddly as the fire-cracker best friend, despite not fitting in at all in a cast that uses curse words like punctuation.
A funny but incoherent Craig Robinson (Pineapple Express) is Delaney, Rogen’s fellow employee at a Starbuck’s knockoff, and the porno’s producer, who hires actresses Stacey (Kate Morgan) and Bubbles (Traci Lords) to star in the film and serve as parodies of their real-life porno-star counterparts (both of whom give surprisingly competent performances, despite their resumes.) Deacon (Jeff Anderson) is hired to shoot the film based on his previous experience (he filmed Zack’s high-school sporting events), with Brandon (Ricky Mabe) and Lestor (Jason Mewes) rounding out the cast as the two male leads. Both Brandon and Lestor parody the provisions of adult film acting with visible enjoyment and zest, but they amount to little more outside of the smut scenes. Anderson’s Deacon comes away as the most underused of the film, giving an entertaining performance of a down-to-earth pal everyone wants to have at least one of. The true gems this film has to offer is the gay couple of the wry, impossibly deep-voiced Brandon (Justin Long of Mac ad fame) and the insecure jock Bobby Long (newest Superman Brandon Routh), appearing at the high school reunion with endearing charisma.
The story is a spunk-filled re-telling of a classic idea, how sex affects previously platonic relationships. Not the strongest of prologues, but, as in all of Smith’s work, the film’s draw is its dialogue, and thankfully “Porno” doesn’t disappoint. Though not as sharp a wit as Smith’s earlier work, like “Chasing Amy” and “Dogma,” the film’s banter still serves in immediately establishing the characters and their personalities. The film’s script maintains a sense of simultaneous immaturity and wisdom, leading the audience to eventually fall in love with everyone appearing on screen. The line between Smith’s love of scripted word and Rogen’s improv tendencies is practically invisible, and the film acts as a nice mesh of the two schools of delivery. Some running gags (like Delaney’s bitch of a wife) don’t have as much staying power as the production team thinks, but generally the plot moves on at a smooth and funny pace. The film ends up buried in sappy cliches towards the end of the two leads’ romantic angst, but thanks to a wonderful turn by cinematographer David Klein – who makes suburban Pittsburgh look idyllic - the dated fluff is given a new visual life.
There are a few nitpicks; Kevin Smith’s love of Star Wars leads to a funny but useless pornographic parody of the saga, and his odd fascination with dance sequences has our cast thrown onto stage at one point for a pointless montage; but the film cannot be denied its overall magnetism, especially given the possibilities of its subject matter. I doubt we are going to get another Kevin Smith film as biting and sarcastic as we have come to expect, but Silent Bob has found an entertaining second home as the re-imaginer of the mushy love stories you can take your drinking buddies or your girlfriend to. Way to f**k, Zack.
One Word Review:Snug
One Sentence Review:Its not as sharp as 'Dogma', but you can't deny Smith and Co.'s charm, even in the most taboo circumstances
Happy Daylight Savings Time! And, I suppose, Halloween to a lesser extent. I'm just happy for that extra hour of sleep, a bit too much I'd imagine.
Main topic for the night tangents from, as many of my thoughts do, my lack of a social life. Halloween has always been a commercial holiday and paper-thin excuse to publicly roleplay in the oddest getup you can find, which is awesome. My hope for some future All Hallow's Eve is to be able to afford the construction of an Evil Mickey Mouse costume (I do a dead on impression, and enjoy making Mickey say horrible, horrible things.) It would most likely be the lame Mickey suit you see on Main Street U.S.A. at Disneyland/World, with a bit of a baroque/gothic touch. Maybe a bloodied mouth here, with a bit of entrails hanging out; maybe more claw-like hands and a forked tail...you get the idea.
I speak of the future because this year was absolutely nothing special. I left University directly after my discussion on the Western genre of cinema and took a direct bus to the local mall to check a screening of 'Zack and Miri Make a Porno.' I was charged to review the flick for the campus newspaper (you'll get the review posted up here around Monday, to correlate with the paper's printing,) and barely made it inside before the previews ended, thanks to an inept bus driver. After the flick ended I chowed down on a Sicilian Burger at Red Robin (burger, mozzarella, pepperoni slices, herb mayo, foccaccia bread), very satisfactorily I might add. I walked the 2 1/2 miles home (no more buses running) and raided my roommate's trick-or-treaters stash before chilling in my room like any other day.
Whenever a holiday rears its ugly head and I'm not distracted by partying or visiting family, I tend to find little factoids about the origin of that Holiday and how it came to be its modern incarnation. Unfortunately, Halloween's origins aren't as fun and scandolous as say, Christmas, being a harvest celebration and all, but some of the iconography of All Hallow's Eve is fascinating. The one that had the most information for me to sponge up was the Witch, that which I relate to you now.
The Origin of the Witch's Image
Christians have been widely successful in pegging anyone practicing earthly religion/tradition as a witch, often times the word has been synonymous with pagan, and heretic (the Christian Church also included Jews in this definition.) The sorted and imperialist affairs of the Christian nomads imposing their claustrophic values on an indigenous culture are for another day, however, as this little nugget of an article gives focus to the kinds of witches that you can stick to your windows, or buy statues of to decorate your spooky lawn. We've all seen it in the Western world; tall, pointed hat, black robes, broomstick, old and warty, with a cackling laugh. But the origins of this gruesome creature is not in the darkest corners of colonial Salem or in hovels in ancient Scotland, but, like many modern icons, in the times of the Bubonic plague.
The Black Death inspired many now blase concepts. 'Ring around the Rosies' is a haunting little children's rhyme that depicted the all-to-common occurrence of people dying in the streets, and the things taken up by those still alive in order to survive. Look up the words, its not particularly pleasant. Our Witch friend, like 'Rosies' has a simple but rather morbid origin in this time as well. Church and Government officials charged elder volunteers within the community to become 'searchers' (if my memory serves.) The duties of this line of work were to enter into areas of high Plague concentration and identify corpses for the families and records. The black garb of the robe and hat were their uniform, used to recognize their profession across town. The reason for this was two-fold; one, many residents hated the idea of people coming that close to infected bodies and returning to civilization, so officials drafted the obvious uniform to placate these protests, and two, so that the support for those employed that didn't flinch away when they saw them could recognize them and give them amenities if needed. It was not a respected job, elders were employed for their already advanced years (better an old codger get the Plague and die rather than a kid, right?)
The broomstick was a simple tool of the 'searcher' trade, used to flip over bodies in order to minimize bodily contact with the infected. It became synonymous with the trade very shortly, as not many 'searchers' wanted to do any alternate means of body-flipping. The warty appearance and cackle are fabrications of these elders that arose from the horrible rumors and children's stories that came later on. It became all too easy to hear tales of little children that wandered too far into plague-riden territory, and saw hunched, demonic looking women roaming around in the fog. The image stuck, and was used more and more often in popular media (Shakespeare's Macbeth trio come to mind), drilled into the public's head, and extremely easy to cast upon a woman to immediately ostracize later on in colonial America.
A Practical Approach to Zombie Survival
Another thing that occupied my mind for much of the Halloween night is deep consideration to how I, personally, would survive a zombie infestation like that in classic horror movies. My former roommate was a horror fanatic, his love of gore and b-horror lead him to a career in special effects (I've spoken about him before, Tom, for those that remember earlier blogs), and one of his favorite books was a dead-pan humorous approach to a guide for anyone wanting to outlive the undead holocaust. He and I would have long discussions on the subject, and that combined with musings last night (and more conversations with my soi bruddah Bennett) lead to me to my plan in case my neighbors suddenly felt hungry for my brain. Maybe others can also use this plan as a jumping off point for themselves...just in case.
First of all, my plan would never attempt direct offensiveness. If we learned anything from Resident Evil gameplay, its that they will just keep coming in droves. So, I go on the defensive. Once a base of operations is established and protected, we can either leave to find other survivors or clear out a couple blocks of zombies. First stop on our way to sanctuary is an Army outpost. These you can find on the outskirks of your town, a few blocks down from the last strip mall, if you will. If one is not available in your area, than any establishment that sells ammunition and firearms would suffice. This is were liberalism would most likely bite us in the ass, as I live in Southern California, and not around any military outposts that I can think of. But, for sake of argument, say we find someone with what we need in stock. The absolute essentials you need to pick up are: firearm (take your pick, we're going for power here though), mine would the strongest shotgun they got, ammo, thick-knit clothing/body armor, walkie-talkies or other radio transmissions, and boots. This list is missing an awful lot, but these are the ABSOLUTE must-haves. See the list of utilities picked up by Marv in Sin City (book or movie) before the 'Hard Goodbye' for more details. I'm also assuming that in the hulla-balloo there is no need to pay for this equipment, as no one in their right mind would think there was enough profit to be made in this occasion. Even so, packing a credit card may not be a bad idea.
Next thing you need is transportation. Again, the left gets screwed, because we need big-ass all-terrain mothas here. If there was one at your military outpost, congrats. But, say your local sporting goods store's parking lot is empty. You need to head over to the nearest auto dealership, there is one in every city over a certain population in this country, and they are usually just off a major freeway. We are not looking for Hummers, those things may look hearty, but they aren't built for anything more than showing off in a suburbian area. Kinda like those big butch jocks that pick on you constantly, tough on the outside, a complete bitch whining to be fucked in the ass on the inside (as horrible as that sounds, my personal experiences validates that description.) Most car manufactor's have an all-terrain vehicle in their displayed library of vehicles. Do what you have to do to get you some keys and start up your bad-boy. We need a fully enclosed (no open-roof Jeeps), all-terrain vehicle here, although a solid bodied truck would work in tight circumstances. Make your way to a local gas station and break in to get some of those 2-liter/2-gallon containers and fill them up in addition to your vehicle in order to keep a steady fuel supply on hand. With that, we move to shelter.
Simply put, you are going to live at Costco. Most Big Box Marts will do, but trust me, if you are in the neighborhood, or know of a Costco nearby, get your ass there above all others. Steel shutters that go over double pane, bullet proof windows and doors. Massive supplies of both dried and wet food rations, temperature control, camping equipment if not bedding supplies, internal plumbing/heating, entertainment provisions, direct access to a pharmacy, cooking mechanisms, bulk toiletries and other ammenities, there is no need that a survivor at Costco cannot fulfill at the basic, if not full, level. You get you and your loved ones' asses in, shut the doors and pull the shudders down, and you got feet of reinforced concrete between you and the horde. If necessary, access to the roof is available, with the same protection as the front access. Hook up some electronics to all available news stations and set up camp. Worst case scenario, you are going to be there for a while.
From here you can make trips outside to either locate other survivors to bring back to your base, or to begin the undead eradication process. Always use the roof access, the front poses too many risks for those staying inside (ALWAYS leave someone inside for resource protection and a contact HUB.) Blast your way back to your all-terrain bad-boy and run over some zombie asses on your way out to the city. From here its up to you on how you want to spend the next bit of time. It is imperative that you establish contact with either news stations and/or government operations. Make your presence known, and the least you'll get is a warning and a head start before the federal government takes the iniative of eradicating the menace by bombing your town to Midgar. When you find other survivors, never trust them, check their bodies fully for any signs of infection (private regions, of course, are not included in this search) and assign them a duty in your little clan once you return to base. Have a pecking order established early on, so everyone knows who's in charge. With that, all you need to do is survive until the undead bastards are dust, how that happens is largely up to luck. Just remember: get supplies, establish a safe base and communications, and survive. Good luck.
Random Thoughts
- For the 36 other countries in the world that have better health care than us, I wonder, how deep does the health superiorities go? I mean, we know we as Americans are more likely to develop diabetes than British civilians, but are their arteries stronger than ours? Could Norwegian white blood cells kick our white blood cells' ass?
- How is an institution sacred if you can get an annulment easier/faster than a good pizza delivered in some states?
- If how guys referred to their penises was actual truth, then the manufacturing of jeans and underwear would be extrememly different. And every guy would have to wear platform shoes in order to avoid their little guy from pavement rash. And every erection would lead a guy to black from blood loss.
- Do people really not know why men have nipples? Its because the sex of the children, and the development of their genitalia, is not determined until later in the birth, leading to the unisex creation of nipples. What's so hard to figure out about that?
- We know how most sex positions get their names: doggy style and cowgirl/reverse cowgirl are pretty self-evident. But...when the hell did the term 'missionary' suddenly apply to that position?
- Do most people walk that slow just to annoy the fuck out of me? I know I'm taller than most people I walk next to, but bloody hell!
- I'm pretty sure the Second Coming has already happening. Jesus just had the stupidity to proclaim his truths next to a major freeway on-ramp with a cardboard sign.
Plugs
- As always, check out my best friend for-longer-than-forever, Strayer's, pad here on GT, or be checking out his funny stuff on Youtube at his new contributing position at thatguywiththeglasses.com or alongside myself on Gamepartisan
- Gt user Greeneyedcat1022 had a similar expose on the origins of Halloween in this most awesome blog. Check it out!
Let this movie serve as a lesson to every single soul in the world: if you are going to make a movie on such a well-known, polarizing person, never pull any punches. This seems like preaching to the choir, especially with the infamously left-wing Oliver Stone at the helm; but his latest feature, simply titled “W.,” lacks the fire and venom that made “Fahrenheit 9/11” so potent, and the powerful vision of Stone’s earlier presidential piece, “Nixon,” leaving us with a luke-warm, messy bio-pic that fails to achieve (insert Bush reference here.)
Most of the fault does not lie with Stone on this one, although he does sport an unhealthy love for inappropriately used handi-cam shots; used so much it’s begging for the audience to pay attention to the paper-thin realism of depth-less scenes. Blame should be placed with the writer, whose script takes thousands of pages of political biographies and morphs it into a 3-part episode of a bad sitcom. George W. Bush is painted as an oh-so-misguided preppy boy that would have fit well in the cast of 90210. By the film’s end, the audience gets the impression that the entirety of the Iraq war was undertaken to make ‘poppy’ Bush love Jr.; it’s made into the entire motivation for the character throughout the three acts of the film, entirely implausible when you rearrange the timeline chronologically. This wouldn’t be such an aggravating artistic direction if it was another figure, but when it’s the President of the United States, especially one with a history of illegality and war profiteering, trying to make us pity him is not the right move.
Not that the film takes too much of a shine to Dubya (Josh Brolin, taking the high road in pushing past imitation into actual talent) and his cabinet. Its made bluntly obvious throughout the film that first and original goal of the Iraq War was dominance over oil reserves (with the administration refusing to move past the ‘freedom’ and ‘democracy’ vernacular in public), that millions of phones were tapped, and that knowledge was never solid on the placement of Middle-Eastern W.M.Ds. Where the film deviates to soften the Bush image is presenting him as an ignorant (believable) outsider to the information (not so believable), truly knowing deep down in his heart that God wants him to be President and that his war is just. This is technique used so far beneath a director of Stone’s resume that it amazes me that he put his name on the credits.
The film isn’t all bad, but what good it has, it seems to shy away from. Performances like Elizabeth Banks as the former-Dixie-Democrat Laura Bush was a charming casting choice, beginning with a wonderful clash of ideology and hormones at a barbeque and somehow devolving into a housewife role that would make Edith Bunker demand to work. Ellen Burstyn’s formidable Barbara Bush is woefully underused as well, scenes between her and Poppa Bush rank among the best in the film. James Cromwell’s Bush Sr. also suffers a romanticizing, making him a just kind-hearted soul archetype without going into any real development (again, we blame the writers.) Most other performances, however, seem more like comedic parodies: Toby Jone’s Karl Rove is a wormy geek, Thandie Newton’s Condoleezza Rice is a disappointing mix of an accent and a facial expression, and Scott Glenn’s Donald Rumsfeld plays a war criminal like a high school bully. The fault of the writer comes up again with Jeffrey Wright’s Colin Powell, who, although convincing as the one good guy in the room, lacks the passion and tortured soul that the role could have really had. Richard Dreyfuss’ Dick Cheney is an admirable attempt, getting both the look and the wit of the Vice President down, but again it comes up shallow without the wickedness and grimace we have all seen in the background of Bush’s speeches. Ioan Grufudd, who, despite being born in the UK, gives Tony Blair an accent so fake I want to give an Oscar to Madonna.
The biggest error was the film’s discontinuous editing, splitting up the three acts of Bush’s life (drunk at Yale, emo Governor of Texas, out-of-his-element President) intermittingly throughout the film, with one scene taking place at a 2002 cabinet meeting, before a fraternity hazing ritual, then briefly running over to a dialogue on the Texas governor campaign. The motivation is to create a sense of overwhelming dismay alongside Bush, making him seem like a dumbass that just got over his head. The real effect, however, is a film that moves at a fragmented, sometimes confusing pace, making it less of a movie and more like a documentary paused and picked up over a few days. It doesn’t help that the movie seems to end before his re-election in 2004, with not a single moment given to Katrina, No Child Left Behind, or anything beyond Iraq. If they wanted to make Bush out to be a poor sap that got legacied into the wrong job, why cut out a war-time disaster that turned his poll numbers permanently down? Perhaps it’s just the rush to get the film out before the 2008 election, but the film feels incomplete, and it’s not because the Bush Presidency hasn’t ended yet.
The film is bookmarked with Dubya in a baseball field, reaching out for a fly ball with a smile on his face. The suggestion is that this is were Bush belongs, not talking with the big kids about oil and miscommunication. As conceivable as this concept is, it’s not acceptable. Not when we as a country went through hell just to try and get a father and son to love each other again. The sole scene of the film dealing with the actual reasons behind Iraq, with Cheney at a board marked with the oil reserves of the Middle East, smiling and talking about how ‘there is no exit strategy [in Iraq], we stay’, the act of imperialism plays off like end of a villain’s musical number in a Disney film, the slow fade out leaving the evil one rubbing his hands together. It’s the microcosm for a movie so flaccid that it would have done well for Stone to have given directorial duties to Chris Crocker. The audience leaves the theater parroting a line given to Cromwell’s Bush Sr., ‘I’m disappointed in you Jr., deeply disappointed.’
One Sentence Review:Despite more than decent lead performances, a movie about the Worst President in American history fails to be anything but a boring mess.
Much less of a sequel than the name suggests, the game is set 500 years after the events of its predecessor, still within the same mystic world of Albion. For the first time in the series guns are part of the inventory, and towns have been replaced with larger cities, each watched over by a large castle. Not much to say about the overall narrative arch of the IP, save to say that the world of Albion and all of its side-quests and story missions will be open to the player, who begins as she/he did in the original Fable, a child that eventually grows to old age during his lifetime of adventuring. There is a general story to follow (which amounts to around 12 hours of content if the player rushes through it, according to developers), but will all of the branching quests and mini-games available, designers have hinted at 100 hours of gameplay.
A highly marketed change to the Fable universe is the inclusion of a dog sidekick, which will follow the player around and aid him in battle and finding objects in cities and along the road. The player will have many options to control the dog as a third party (i.e. pet the pooch and make him happy), but will maintain no direct control over the canine.
The World of Fable
The character aging dynamic has been drastically enhanced from the last installment, with the use of skills, magic, and moral choices morphing the characters financial status, morality, weight, and age either positively or negatively depending on the situation. The player has the option of a female or male protagonist, another new addition, with the ability to have the female become impregnated during the game and birth a child. A questionable inclusion in the world of Albion is that side-quests and battles no longer yield money. In order to afford houses for your family and new armor, the player will either take up odd jobs about town (assassin, royal bodyguard, blacksmith, etc.) or gamble in one of the aforementioned mini-games in the taverns. If the character dies at any point in the game, a certain amount of experience will be lost, in exchange for the [heroic struggle], a sudden burst of energy that could cause the hero to either run away from harm or kill the last remaining enemies before dying.
Like in the original, the player has the option of getting married, including same-sex marriages as in the first title. New to the series is the ability to chose safe/unsafe sex, with the latter having a percentage chance of yielding a child. Also in Fable II is the unfortunate side effect of losing half of your assets to your wife if she divorces you (lead designer Peter Molyneux admits that killing her would be a lot easier in this situation.) If the player does spawn an offspring, the child will grow and mature in real-time, and will reaction to the player's accomplishments and attention (or lack thereof). This means that the child will follow the player's example in terms of their alignment and looks.
The world of Fable will transform according to the player's role in various missions and decisions, for instance if the character burns down a caravan delivering essential goods to a town, that town may fall into poverty later in the game because of it. Albion has weather effects and seasonal changes for all parts of the year. Each leave on a tree is individually animated, and each person has their own animations as well. In addition, the invisible wall restrictions of fences and bridges have been lifted, giving the player full access to all parts of the world.
Gameplay
Like many current games, Fable II aims to keep the player involved by dropping most of the Heads Up Display (HUD) that usually features commodities like the character's health, mana, and a mini-map. In the place of the latter is something called [the bread crumb trail], a glowing yellow line on the ground that the player can follow to reach the next story point. In place of a mana bar, Fable II features a small charge bar on the screen, that some spells require to fill up before being spent. Cutscenes in Fable II will be both interactive and non-interactive. Cutscenes where the player cannot interact with the environment will never take over 5 minutes, and interactive cutscenes can end with the player running away from the person talking, and use her/his action buttons during the conversation to dance/laugh/react and effect the outcome of that cutscene.
The engine used for Fable II's graphics was completely designed in-house, but the Havok engine is used for in-game physics and some AI for the game is controlled by the Kynapse engine. 3D models, art, and files are tracked by Alienbrain 8 middleware. Every piece of land and property is up for sale in Fable II, with every piece of furniture in the house up for auction at any time, as well as the purchased house. When enough property has been collected, the player will ascend in politic rank, from Mayor of a specific town, King of a specific region, or even Emperor of Albion. If a property is rented or a seller of goods, the player will receive gold every five minutes real time, including when the console's off. Owning property also unlocks other quests, missions, and mini-games.
Combat in the game is context specific, meaning that the same button will throw a person into a nearby river in one battle and another will push an enemy against a wall in another. Combat is controlled via a single button, and will vary based on character position, tactical advantage (i.e. being atop a bridge with the enemy below), and the weapon held. Ranged weapons (guns are replacing long bows, but short bows have been confirmed as being in-game) will target using a cross-hair that will appear when the button is pressed. Holding the combat button down will cause the character to block. The character will level stats based on progress in combat.
Co-op Play
The game will not ship with online co-op capabilities intact, but it has been confirmed that a patch for the problem will be available for download on launch day. Players can invite other characters into their game be finding their [albion orbs], representative floating orbs that appear in-game wherever the character in question is within their own gameplay, and clicking on them to automatically teleport them to their world. Unless the player has activated the safety feature, the invited character's actions carry permanent weight in the world (i.e. an NPC killed by a visitor stays dead.) Players will be able to exchange items, armor, and weapons, but dogs of the visiting character will not accompany them into another player's game. The main player also has the option of setting up rules of reward distribution and friendly fire for all online co-op sessions.
Offline co-op consists of the second player acting as a henchman to the main player's character. If the second player has his own Xbox Live account, his character will remain the same as in his own game. If the second player does not have his own account or has not created a character, gameplay will be interrupted for a brief creation screen for the visiting player to quickly create a henchman character for the gameplay. Any items, gold, and experience can be ported over to another account via an Xbox 360 memory card if desired.
- Famous actors such as Stephen Fry, Helena Bonham Carter, and Bill Nighy provide various voices in the game.
- Originally death came with permanent scars and disfigurement for the character. But, based on poor reactions during play testing, the mechanic was changed.
Outro
This section will be updated with reviews and any other prevalent information.
This game represents the pinnacle of Western RPGs. Yeah, Molyneux has promised more than he could chew in the past, but he has stated in interviews that he has made an effort to not be so forthright and let his love for his work overstate the game's capabilities this time. From what we've seen in trailers and gameplay videos, this may be right. Hell, even when we were disappointed that Fable and Fable: the Lost Chapters didn't reach expectations, it was still a damn good game, right? The world is deep and beautiful, the story seems solid, and you can knock a broad up, what more could you want?
'Fro Recommends: Spider-Man: Web of Shadows (2008)
Name:Spider-Man: Web of Shadows
Genre:Action-Adventure
Developer:Treyach/Shaba Games (PS3, 360, PC, Wii) Amaze Entertainment (PSP, PS2) Kriptonite Games (DS)
Publisher:Activision
Rating:T for Teen
Release Date:October 21st, 2008
Platforms:Playstation 3, Xbox 360, PC, Wii, Playstation 2, Playstation Portable, DS
Plot
Fans of the comic will be hard pressed to correlate this one with any of Marvel's timelines for the webslinger. The story takes place after Venom comes to the deadly realization that he can clone himself, in all his symbiotic glory, and thus begins a mass invasion of symbiotic lifeforms in Manhattan. Normal citizens are infected with the alien lifeform and transform into zombie-like creatures out for Spidey's spandex-wearing ass. S.H.I.E.L.D., the Marvel universe's international police force, puts New York under quarantine, and sends in multiple cross-over heroes into the fray to aid Spider-Man. Making matters worse is, at some point, all of them too succumb to viral symbiote, forcing Peter Parker into some presumably awesome boss battles against demonic versions of Wolverine and the Black Cat.
The emotional draw of the tale comes from Parker trying to combat the alien menace without falling into darkness himself. He regains his black spider-suit at the beginning of the events, and everytime he is forced to use it he is drawn further into the same dreaded state as the rest of the NY populace. The plot is usual Marvel fare, fantastically outrageous narrative arch with a central morality ploy, in this case the fight against evil leading to the confrontation of the evil in one's self.
Free-Roaming Goodness
These are the same peeps that doled out Spider-Man 2 and Ultimate Spider-Man, both games with amazing free-roaming capabilities for their generation. We can hope that they continue their streak with Web of Shadows, and by the looks we've gotten from trailers, we can at least expect some open-ending web-slinging. Treyach has confirmed that the player will have the choice on which villains to fight throughout the storyline, hopefully making the game have a chose-your-own-adventure feel as opposed to a half-of-the-storyline feel. The supposed multiple endings should help with that.
Gameplay
Nitpickers will be happy to know that Spider-Man can finally swim when he over-anticipates a jump and lands in the Hudson, instead of automatic death or a cutscene of him climbing out onto land. Most of the updates on Treyach's resume isn't all aesthetic though, players will have the ability to shift between both the Red/Blue and the Black Spidey-suit at will, each having their own combat style and combo mechanics. Spider-Man's black suit often leads to darker moral decisions being easier for the player to do, in addition to giving the player the ability to call in villains from the Spider-Man universe as help in combat as opposed to Marvel heroes. When serving up a steaming plate of pain in the Symbiote Spidey-Suit, expect a more grounded, destructive combat; while the traditional Spidey-attire is a much faster and agile beast. Agility will come into play dramatically when aerial combat is involved, the game's much toted original take on fights in the sky being one of the title's biggest drawing points.
As opposed to relying on webslinging momentum to kick/punch your opponent to death, players can change multiple attacks together, sending Spidey flipping about his enemies, using each moment of contact as a leaping off point, without ever needing to shoot a web. The result is, according to the developers, a sense of feeling like the actual super-hero while playing. If it's pulled off, Action games could see a definitive change in the way fighting is approached in general.
Versions
The majority of this article, as well as the game's press, has been towards the main versions of this game, the one developed by Treyach itself for the Playstation 3, Xbox 360, PC, and Wii versions. The Playstation and PSP version takes off half a dimension and shifts from an action-adventure free-roaming to a side-scroller with a bit of action-adventure mechanics thrown in. The DS version will be strictly 2-D, another side-scrolling adventure, this time focusing on brawler and platforming. According to the publisher, we can expect the same basic story from all versions of the game, but other details haven't been released as to all the differences between versions.
The main version of the game will have Black Cat and Wolverine exclusively, while the DS claims both the Green Goblin and X-Men's Nightcrawler to themselves. All versions feature the Black Widow, Electro, Kingpin, Luke Cage, Mary Jane Watson, Moon Knight, Rhino, Venom, and Vulture as NPC encounters.
- In an interview with Metromix New York, Chris Scholz, Studio Head of Shaba Games confirmed that the game exist[s] somewhere in-between the comic book world and the movie world, but doesn’t follow either storyline.
- John Carpenter's film, They Live was said to be a huge inspiration in the game's creation.
- Mike Vaughn, the voice of Spider-Man, has done work for Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas.
- Tricia Heifer, the voice of the Black Cat, is famous for her role in Battlestar Galactica
Outro
This section will updated with reviews and other prevalent information when it becomes available.
This game is more than just a buy for Marvel fans, it's combat should draw all gamers in for its interesting take on aerial controls. If the story is as strong as it seems, it could also lead to more of the Marvel universe getting stand-alone titles with their morality-lined tales. Anyone that's a fan of kicking ass in spandex has no excuse not to have this game. That, and you can just pretend the symbiotes are zombies.
