I don't play sports.  I don't play weird sports.  I do make lists about them though.  Enjoy.

All sports are not created equally.  Some of them- like basketball or football- have numerous films about them.  Hell, there are two films- the original and a remake- about people playing football for a prison team!  There's even a film for both basketball and baseball about kids magically gaining the ability to play like a pro.  What's the point of bringing all this up?  It's simple- what about the weird sports?  I mean, there are dozens of fringe sports out there that don't get the same level of attention.  Let's fix that, shall we?  These films focus on the sports that not everyone is aware of and/or cares about.  Lawn bowling, curling and ping pong- oh my!

12. National Lampoon's Black Ball: Why not start with an obscure, direct-to-video film by a company that makes nothing but them?  This film is about lawn bowling.  Sure- why not?!?  The film is notable for featuring James Cromwell and Vince Vaughn- although neither is in a major role.  Oh yeah, Vaughn was also only cast because he was in the film you'll see on the flip-side of this list.  Let's move on...

11. Blackballed- The Bobby Duke Story: Rob Cordrry is an underrated comic actor.  Well, that or he can't pick good roles.  The co-star of What Happens in Vegas and 2007's The Heartbreak Kid appears in this film about a very fringe sport: paintball.  Yeah, a lot of people like this, apparently.  This film is very Indie, but does feature many fringe comics like Rob Huebel, Rob Riggle, Jack McBrayer and Paul Scheer.  It's okay- I now that you're still not going to see it.

10. Men With Rooms: A Canadian film makes the list, but not for the best reasons.  To put it simply, this is a film about curling.  You know, the sport where you push heavy weights on the ice with a broomstick.  In spite of this silly idea, the film actually features some good acting and is a rare film that's both funny and heartfelt that features Leslie Nielsen.  Yes, 'funny' and 'Leslie Nielsen' can appear in relation to a film made after Naked Gun.  While it lacks a certain element that I can't place, it is actually good. 

9. The Wizard: I'm doing this for you, gamers- enjoy it.  This film is about competitive Nintendo gaming.  Was that ever a thing?  There's not much else I can say about this non-sport film, is there?  Well, there is one thing.  I do love the Power Glove.  It is so bad.  Happy now?

8. Cool Runnings: Yeah, we be making a Disney film, mon!  This film is about the world famous Jamaican bobsledding team that performed in the Olympics.  That really is a thing, apparently.  The real team did terrible and immediately retired after the event.  The film's team, however, got a slow clap and the joy of being coached by now-dead comedian John Candy.  That's better than a Gold Medal in my book!

7. Over the Top: You can't make a list about weird things without including Stallone somewhere!  This film put a spotlight on a sport that is sure to remain timeless: competitive arm-wrestling.  This sport is so important that it can be used to settle family disputes over custody.  Make your favorite funny face and enjoy this piece of shit!

6. Whip It: Leave it to the chick from Firestarter to direct a fringe sports film.  Wait- why does that make any sense?  Anyways, this recent comedy/coming-of-age film is about roller derby.  You know, that's the sport where chicks ride roller skates and punch each other.  Despite the silly and violent premise, it's a decent film.  Just don't go telling any dudes that I said that.  I assume that everyone who reads this is a girl.  Hopefully I'm right...ladies.

5. Kingpin: A nearly-forgotten Farrelly Bros film makes the list.  This gross-out comedy is about bowling, which is not nearly as fringe as some of the other stuff here.  However, it gets extra points for mocking every single person involved in the sport, while also glorifying them.  That makes sense to you?  Okay, good.

4. Balls of Fury: The makers of Reno 911 bring you this film about tiny balls and paddling.  That's right- this film is about Ping Pong.  The film is pretty low-brow, but also features Christopher Walken in stereotypically-Asian clothing.  Plus, it has that awesome German guy and the pec-flexing guy from The Expendables.  That's a win-win for me.

3. BASEketball: You don't even have to be a real sport to make this list. This goofy and uneven film by the creators of South Park is about the rise of a sport known as BASEketball.  Made up by the two leads (also the creators) to amuse their friends, it becomes a major sport...somehow.  The rules are random, the plot is cliche, but the movie is still good fun.  It's no Team America: World Police though.  F#!k yeah!

2. Best of the Best: Yeah, I bet a lot of you don't think about this sports films.  Made in the 1980s, the action film/drama is about a group of people training for the United States' Judo Team in the Olympics.  They have to be, well, the best of the best to beat those evil Korean athletes!  The film is actually quite good and lead to three sequels- even though they have nothing to do with the Olympics.  It also features two celebrity siblings- Eric Roberts and Christopher Penn- and Darth Vader himself!

1. Dodgeball: How can this not be number one?  This film is about, well, what do you think it's about?  In case, I have any dyslexic readers, I'll say that the film is about 'llabegdod.'  Jokes about dyslexia aren't funny, but this movie sure is!  The humor is weird, twisted and bizarre.  The film works though because these odd, twisted characters are ultimately human.  Plus, lines like 'Nobody makes me bleed my own blood' are classic. Good times, good times.

For more films about sports that may or may not be real, go to my blog.  It has none of what I just promised.

Next up, October brings us a look at some horror icons.  First up, a look at some of the most obscure Dracula films ever.  Stay tuned...