TGWTG User Blogs

Hey everyone. This here be Zach Macias, otherwise known as ZachMG on the 'Tube (not expecting anyone to recognize the name. I'm not THAT self-indulgent). Anyways, I figured this might be a fine place to post random interesting/irritating things that you probably don't care about. And seeing as this is a spot for one of the coolest reviewers on the web , I figured what the hell, I'll review the things I come across. Things I'll review (assuming I get around to reviewing things on a timely basis, no guarantees) should range from movies to video games to everyday things you encounter. Anyways, onto the show...

I went onto YouTube the other day to check the 13 bajillion "how do u maek legos moov??/" questions I get on a semi-hourly basis (that's my thing. LEGO stop-motion films), and I noticed they featured a video of the newest cup-stacking world record (instead of featuring one of the many undiscovered, actually good videos that people put effort into creating. Who wants to watch that when they can watch a dog snoring as it sleeps? Idiots on YouTube, apparently) . I sat and watched the 24 second video f a group of kids doing a relay 3-6-3 cup stack pattern, and let the memories slide into the front of my brain.

To those unfamiliar with cup-stacking, the title alone pretty much sums it up. Yes, I'm serious, people actually stack cups, unjustly called a "sport." Yes, I know I'm echoing about 90% of the comments the video's gotten, but really, come on. But I guess since they consider other things like fishing and car racing to be sports, why the fuck not this? Anyways, so it's a "sport" (shudder) where you basically stack cups in certain patterns with different cups, like in a 3-6-3 where you stack two sets of three cups and then one with six cups in the middle, a 1-10-1, where you have a stack of ten and two single cups on the side, and so on. The point is to be accomplish these stacks as fast as you can, so it requires some degree of hand-eye coordination. This was probably several kids' last-ditch effort to technically call themselves part of a team sport who didn't have any apparent talent in another actual sport.

I remember we had to do this in PE in elementary school. That's right, we actually dedicated over a month of our precious time to stacking cups in PHYSICAL Education class. I mean, PE sucked ass in general, but now this was just an insult. We would do our daily warmups (my personal favorite was this one: Stand up and lift one knee, then touch it to the opposite elbow. Repeat on the opposite. Rinse, wash, and repeat ad nauseum. Now perform this in front of a mirror and proceed to laugh at how retarded you look), then go into a tiny room with a table and a couple sets of "professional grade" cups (because apparently cup-stacking is an activity that employs the use of the most elite and well-created cups in the world) where we would stack these fuckers for 2 hours straight. Move those arms, flex those fingers kids! Make sure that cup lands in the middle between those other two or else the rest of the tower will collapse! Goddamn, that was completely worthless. Even worse, we had to shell out $20 to buy our own set that we only going to use for a month and never use again.

God, I hate the public school system. This is the definition of the worthless bullshit they make us do in the name of earning a passing grade. Seriously, pretty much nothing I have learned in public school other than math I will likely use in real life. Why don't they actually teach you something that's important, like how to write a resume or public speaking? But no, they just use up your precious brain cells with 10+ years worth of useless crap, exhibit you in front of the school board to show how good they are at teaching you said worthless crap, then toss high school diploma in your hand that in essence says "Congrats, you've put up with this bullshit for 4 years!" then dump you out into the world, more or less unprepared to start your life. Even worse are those big-shot football (or worse, lacrosse) jocks who prance around acting like total assholes with no regard or respect to anyone or anything, and people follow them around like lapdogs because, for some reason, they're into that kind of thing. They're the kind of people who walk from high school realizing "Huh, I'm a social fuckup, apparently," and spend the rest of their lives working at a grocery store or for some nerd they used to make fun of back in school.

But anyways, I digress. Let's take a look at some of cup stacking's redeeming qualities, as few and limited as they may be. Pretty much the purpose of most organized sports, besides the love of the game and competing in how much HGH you can inject into yourself than the next guy, is to put on a show for an audience, and it can't be denied, watching people stack cups in such formation in under 2 seconds can be kinda cool to watch. If you swallow your pride enough to actually watch people stack cups, it's actually pretty amazing just how fast it moves. But this amazement is short lived when you realize "Wow, I'm watching people stack cups" and shut off the video to go find a cooler way to kill 15 minutes. The lasting appeal of watching cup-stacking is about as long as watching the National Spelling Bee on ESPN (again, why is this considered enough of a "sport" to be shown on ESPN?). It's kind of fun to see the words they make these kids spell, but it gets old fast.

Even worse, what's there to take away from cup stacking? In other sports like baseball or tennis, even if you're not good at it, you're still getting in physical activity which helps keep you in shape later in life and helps you pick up chicks in college. But what can you take away from cup stacking? Nothing, except the ability to stack cups in a timely manner. Really, all I can see cup stacking being worthful in the future is being able to impress your boss at McDonalds. "That's the best damn cup-stacking job I've ever seen, son! Hell, with talent like that, you might just become assistant manager someday. Now go clean up the vomit under Table 3, will ya?"

If anyone who stacks cups as a "sport" is reading this, yeah, I guess you have the right to be upset at me, but really, can you disagree? The only thing going for cup stacking is that it can look cool for a bit. Other than that, there's not enough redeeming value for many people to compete in it or watch others compete in it. The only entertainment I can see stacking cups would be when you're drunk or inebrated in another way with a friend, and you're competing with each other. Better yet, it's probably a fun way to clean up your beer-pong set up before your parents come home. But really, cup stacking, while having the ability to look cool for a bit, has no business being called a "sport."

Cup Stacking: 3.5/10