SEX! No, that's not just to get your attention
SEX! No, that's not just to get your attention
Posted by: Eric Modyman in Worthless, sex, relationship, problems, myblog, Life, Comments on
Apr 27, 2008
am currently doing a touring show called "No Way To Treat a Lady", which stresses the importance of abstinence, pregnancy, diseases, self control, and the consequences that can happen if you have sex. Yea, I'm there are some who are reading this who are already rolling their eyes because they have heard this time and time again. But honestly, it is an important message and I think everyone should take it to heart. Here are a few points I would like to put out for everyone to read.
1. A person should not just assume they are ready to have sex, they should KNOW. Think of ALL the consequences that could come from having sex. The obvious being pregnancy or disease. Then there are some of the less talked about. Like what might happen to one's reputation. Also, there is the chance that a person could mess up a great relationship and it becomes about nothing but sex and then it dies. There is also an emotional side to it. Having sex is a big step and for some people it is really special. Don't just take someone's virginity without thinking about it. This person may be saving it for someone they really love, and could have their heart broken by some thoughtless jerk. Also, think about parents and how they will reacting when they find out their child is having sex. Chances are, not well. Anyone who wants to have sex should take a time out and think of every possible consequence and how they are going to deal with them. If they find a consequence they can not deal with, then perhaps they are not ready for sex. I recently asked Jen what we would do if she should become pregnant. We both agreed on giving up the baby for adoption, and I am currently doing research on where we could give the baby and how much it would cost to have that baby. I'm going to save up my own money, and if she gets pregnant, then I will take care of it and deal with the consequences. But don't think this means Jen and I are READY to have sex. We are far from it actually. It's just nice to know we are thinking in advance.
2. Condoms and pills are not 100% safe! A cheap piece of latex is not a guarantee of protection from pregnancy or a disease. Imagine how horrible a person must feel when they end up being one of the unlucky ones the condom or pill did not work for. Again, people need to think things out and be prepared for these consequences. It's a shame that some of our schools pass out condoms to kids, who think it is a guaranteed safe way to have sex. I believe condoms should not be passed out at school, because it gives the message to kids that it's okay. Part of having sex is accepting responsibility, this includes the responsibility of going out and buying a condom. That is one of the first steps. I once had a friend who had sex with his girlfriend and the condom broke on them. I got a call and I had to drive all over with him trying to find a way to stop his girlfriend from being pregnant. We eventually learned of "the day after pill" and were able to prevent what could have been a horrible incident. But all of this could have been avoided if they did not have sex. They were not ready in my opinion and I had to help them. That is a situation I hope nobody has to be in.
3. Guys, treat women like they deserve to be treated. She is not someone to sleep with, she is a person! A gentleman should like her for who she is, not what she looks like! He should get to know her before he decides he wants to try anything with her. A good friendship is vital to a good relationship. It can not just be all physical attraction. Imagine if a guy just looked at a girl and decided to take her out on a date, only to realize she is not his type and then you dumps her. It seems easy enough for the guy, but maybe it's a lot harder for her to deal with that rejection. She thought someone liked her, and then she was simply tossed aside. This could have really damaged her self esteem, which is NEVER a good thing. Women are people and deserve to be treated right. This rule goes the same to women. A woman should treat a man with respect as well. I know people who get with people just based off looks. They don't take the time to get to know them and they instantly just like them because they are cute. These relationships rarely ever work out, and these people get a bad reputation because of it. My cousin once pointed a statistic out to me, that may be over exagerated, but I believe there is some truth to it. "For every girl you treat bad, she tells 20 of her friends"
4. Guys, I know sex is a mighty temptation, but we have to fight the urges we feel. I'm going to quote a monologue I have from no way to treat a lady. "Even though guys are more prone to out of control hormones than girls, guys need to learn to control the behavior the flows from those urges." Just remember that a REAL man knows how to control himself, and that's what separates him from just being a guy. SELF CONTROL. For the ladies who also have wild hormones, this same rule applies. Everyone needs to learn how to control themselves. Some will say "I can control myself, but it's just boring". That's just like the alcoholic who says he doesn't have a drinking problem as he finishes a 6 pack. There is a difference between a person who says they are under control and a person who really is under control. I have felt the temptation to give into my urges many times. I know that giving in would mess up my life and I have to be strong, not just for my sake, but for the girls sake too. Knowing I am strong enough and have the mental strength to beat my urges is one of the most satisfying feelings I know.
5. And finally, one last topic aimed at our slowly degrading generation. In this day and age, it seems like everyone is having sex. It almost feels as if someone hasn't gotten to third base by the time they left high school then they are a loser. Nobody should ever feel pressured to have sex just because everyone else is doing it or because their friends tease them. I am a virgin and I'm proud of it! Some people may laugh at this. Whatever, I don't care. I know quite a few people who are not virgins, and in many cases they had to pay for their actions. Most of them got it easy and just went through some emotional stuff. But some were not so lucky. My brother and sister had sex around the age of 16 and both had children. It honestly messed up their lives. But their faults made them role models for me. I knew what not to do. For the friends I know who had sex and did not get pregnant, I'm glad they did not have to go through that. Because I know they would not have been able to handle that responsibility. I'm willing to bet many of them did not even think what would happen if they had got pregnant. Yes, I have not had sex, but I don't regret it. My life is just as fulfilling as those who had sex, and I have not had the worries they had. There are juvenile people who tease me, but I just look at what they went through and smile because they are so naive and won't admit their mistakes. I'm not ready to have sex, and when I even when I am ready it doesn't mean I'm going to do it right away.
A few of my friends may say I'm being hypocritical because I have done some other things besides sex. Yes, I have and in some cases I regret it. But this show has really opened my eyes and I want to help spread the message so everyone can see the consequences of having sex. I've made a mistake or two in my life, but I'm willing to admit I was wrong and have learned from those mistakes. Yes, sex is a good thing. Don't think I'm saying it's bad and should never be done. But everyone should know what they are getting into and be ready to face their consequences, instead of just giving in because they think they are in love or because everyone else is doing it or because their hormones are out of control.
If you have any questions, I'll be glad to give examples from my life, this show, or my own opinion. Want to remain annonymous? Use a truth box so I won't know who you are. I don't have all the answers and I don't want anyone to think that. But there are some who need to hear some of these things. Even if they've heard it before, it doesn't hurt to have a reminder. And if you would like to actually come see the show, I will try to find where we perform and see if you can watch. Thank you for reading.
1. A person should not just assume they are ready to have sex, they should KNOW. Think of ALL the consequences that could come from having sex. The obvious being pregnancy or disease. Then there are some of the less talked about. Like what might happen to one's reputation. Also, there is the chance that a person could mess up a great relationship and it becomes about nothing but sex and then it dies. There is also an emotional side to it. Having sex is a big step and for some people it is really special. Don't just take someone's virginity without thinking about it. This person may be saving it for someone they really love, and could have their heart broken by some thoughtless jerk. Also, think about parents and how they will reacting when they find out their child is having sex. Chances are, not well. Anyone who wants to have sex should take a time out and think of every possible consequence and how they are going to deal with them. If they find a consequence they can not deal with, then perhaps they are not ready for sex. I recently asked Jen what we would do if she should become pregnant. We both agreed on giving up the baby for adoption, and I am currently doing research on where we could give the baby and how much it would cost to have that baby. I'm going to save up my own money, and if she gets pregnant, then I will take care of it and deal with the consequences. But don't think this means Jen and I are READY to have sex. We are far from it actually. It's just nice to know we are thinking in advance.
2. Condoms and pills are not 100% safe! A cheap piece of latex is not a guarantee of protection from pregnancy or a disease. Imagine how horrible a person must feel when they end up being one of the unlucky ones the condom or pill did not work for. Again, people need to think things out and be prepared for these consequences. It's a shame that some of our schools pass out condoms to kids, who think it is a guaranteed safe way to have sex. I believe condoms should not be passed out at school, because it gives the message to kids that it's okay. Part of having sex is accepting responsibility, this includes the responsibility of going out and buying a condom. That is one of the first steps. I once had a friend who had sex with his girlfriend and the condom broke on them. I got a call and I had to drive all over with him trying to find a way to stop his girlfriend from being pregnant. We eventually learned of "the day after pill" and were able to prevent what could have been a horrible incident. But all of this could have been avoided if they did not have sex. They were not ready in my opinion and I had to help them. That is a situation I hope nobody has to be in.
3. Guys, treat women like they deserve to be treated. She is not someone to sleep with, she is a person! A gentleman should like her for who she is, not what she looks like! He should get to know her before he decides he wants to try anything with her. A good friendship is vital to a good relationship. It can not just be all physical attraction. Imagine if a guy just looked at a girl and decided to take her out on a date, only to realize she is not his type and then you dumps her. It seems easy enough for the guy, but maybe it's a lot harder for her to deal with that rejection. She thought someone liked her, and then she was simply tossed aside. This could have really damaged her self esteem, which is NEVER a good thing. Women are people and deserve to be treated right. This rule goes the same to women. A woman should treat a man with respect as well. I know people who get with people just based off looks. They don't take the time to get to know them and they instantly just like them because they are cute. These relationships rarely ever work out, and these people get a bad reputation because of it. My cousin once pointed a statistic out to me, that may be over exagerated, but I believe there is some truth to it. "For every girl you treat bad, she tells 20 of her friends"
4. Guys, I know sex is a mighty temptation, but we have to fight the urges we feel. I'm going to quote a monologue I have from no way to treat a lady. "Even though guys are more prone to out of control hormones than girls, guys need to learn to control the behavior the flows from those urges." Just remember that a REAL man knows how to control himself, and that's what separates him from just being a guy. SELF CONTROL. For the ladies who also have wild hormones, this same rule applies. Everyone needs to learn how to control themselves. Some will say "I can control myself, but it's just boring". That's just like the alcoholic who says he doesn't have a drinking problem as he finishes a 6 pack. There is a difference between a person who says they are under control and a person who really is under control. I have felt the temptation to give into my urges many times. I know that giving in would mess up my life and I have to be strong, not just for my sake, but for the girls sake too. Knowing I am strong enough and have the mental strength to beat my urges is one of the most satisfying feelings I know.
5. And finally, one last topic aimed at our slowly degrading generation. In this day and age, it seems like everyone is having sex. It almost feels as if someone hasn't gotten to third base by the time they left high school then they are a loser. Nobody should ever feel pressured to have sex just because everyone else is doing it or because their friends tease them. I am a virgin and I'm proud of it! Some people may laugh at this. Whatever, I don't care. I know quite a few people who are not virgins, and in many cases they had to pay for their actions. Most of them got it easy and just went through some emotional stuff. But some were not so lucky. My brother and sister had sex around the age of 16 and both had children. It honestly messed up their lives. But their faults made them role models for me. I knew what not to do. For the friends I know who had sex and did not get pregnant, I'm glad they did not have to go through that. Because I know they would not have been able to handle that responsibility. I'm willing to bet many of them did not even think what would happen if they had got pregnant. Yes, I have not had sex, but I don't regret it. My life is just as fulfilling as those who had sex, and I have not had the worries they had. There are juvenile people who tease me, but I just look at what they went through and smile because they are so naive and won't admit their mistakes. I'm not ready to have sex, and when I even when I am ready it doesn't mean I'm going to do it right away.
A few of my friends may say I'm being hypocritical because I have done some other things besides sex. Yes, I have and in some cases I regret it. But this show has really opened my eyes and I want to help spread the message so everyone can see the consequences of having sex. I've made a mistake or two in my life, but I'm willing to admit I was wrong and have learned from those mistakes. Yes, sex is a good thing. Don't think I'm saying it's bad and should never be done. But everyone should know what they are getting into and be ready to face their consequences, instead of just giving in because they think they are in love or because everyone else is doing it or because their hormones are out of control.
If you have any questions, I'll be glad to give examples from my life, this show, or my own opinion. Want to remain annonymous? Use a truth box so I won't know who you are. I don't have all the answers and I don't want anyone to think that. But there are some who need to hear some of these things. Even if they've heard it before, it doesn't hurt to have a reminder. And if you would like to actually come see the show, I will try to find where we perform and see if you can watch. Thank you for reading.
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