TGWTG User Blogs

Today I felt like pissing people off, so I am going to review Sidescrollers on Screwattack.com. Why do I disclose that in the first line, simple there are passionte fans for the site. Some of you may be familar with the AVGN and his hoards of brainwashed loyalists, add on top of that the G1 community of people who either know that this isn't the best site, and others who are like ZOMG!!!11!1! Because of this I know my negitave review of the podcast is going to piss people off, so I set my spam filters on high and my photon delete macro is armed. So without further ado, time to get some hate mail, here is my review.

Start off with the intro of a Megaman X3 song with one of the host introduce the other hosts with a random sound clip on top of the action. Then the podcast goes in a similar format, introduce the show's topics, hard news, random bit, sidescrollers' newsdesk, and forum questions. What could be wrong about this?

Simple, it is the only video game podcast that isn't about videogames. Seriously! Don't believe me? Well lets take the most recent episode as a prime example. Let's start off with the fact that on "hard news" where it is supposed to be about video games it simply never worked due to the fact that the host of the show interupts each story to talk about something else (more on that later). The random bit was week 2 of graduation stories (yes they spent two weeks on graduation instead of a well planned one), the newsdesk is all about those weird stories that make some people cringe in disgust, then the forum questions that are sometimes are video game related but most of them are like "What is your favorite highschool class?" So I ask you, where is the video game coverage? This is a video game site, there is barely a mention of video games in the entire podcast.

What really ruins this podcast is something bigger, bader, and far worse then any you are going to listen to? The host of the show, Craig. Granted I did meet him in person once, and from the time I gathered to be around him, and on the podcast the fault is the same. He has an ego larger than life. That's right his ego ruins the podcast. Don't believe me? Look below at the actual piece of this week's podcast:

Destin "...hey why don't you use your announcer voice..."

Craig "If I did that I wouldn't be able to talk for the rest of the podcast..."

Destin "Exactly..."

That's right the supporting cast of the show know about it too, and will they tell him to shut up? Nope, he is paying them and like many other people you don't piss off the boss if he is paying you. However his biggest thing to do is when someone is talking about a topic he can not comment on, he will interupt it about 80% of the way and change the topic to something completely different, stick to that for 2 mintues, and then move on to the next scheduled topic. He is the oh mighty master enterpeneur of the site and no one can deny his voice time. Everyone needs to bow to the power of the business man with a medicore radio voice and worship at the sandles and hat of the Stuttering one.

In addition to this he has this thing about whenever something is coming up on the site he has to promote the hell out of it. He has an iron man event going on in 8 days, and becuase of this he is talking about the event. From what I can say right now just due to the things going on during the event, I already know it is nothing more then a giant ego boost for him to try to pull this off with a success. If he breaks even or a profit, people will know about it for MONTHS to come. Which will lead into things like "Knell before my master idea and call yourself my bitch."

Also the event doesn't even sound good, he is ripping off MAGfest for half of it, and the other half is what I would expect at a local con. Which is what this should be except for the fact that he has convinced the site that this is an event on a grand scale and is treating it like a VIP event for the fans of the site. So what many people are looking forward to for a big event is going to be nothing more then a local con. Anyone who traveled a long distance to get into the event I am going to guess will be highly disipointed unless they lick the thunderbolt of the website on a regular basis.

Now I know that last part wasn't about the podcast, but there is nothing else I can talk about it. That's is the only memoriable piece of the entire thing. Everything else is completely forgettable and nothing is worth talking about. The newsdesk stories are meh at best that should go under a "bizarre news" section. If it were not for the user generated voice commercials and chiptunes you wouldn't even know that this was a gaming podcast. It is nothing more then 3-5 people talking to people online as their fans jack off to the words of the almighty interns and god of a host.

Final verdict: Please for the love of God drop the podcast now, there are way too many mistakes for this ship to set sail again. For the sanity of the people online your podcast is almost at the bottom of the barrel (I say almost becuase nothing can tople the worst gaming podcast). To make up for the lack of a podcast on the site, simply show a random person getting hit in the nuts. You are nothing more then the Jackass of videogaming media anyway, might as well keep it that way. You and your Nazis wouldn't do anything besides bicker about how much of a moron I am for not "getting" it. You could but one problem...

I am a retired G1.

Yes I was one of you a year ago when the ideas were fresh and your other host was on the site, and I enjoyed all the content you provided until you went into a monarchy instead of a olagarchy website. You fired your creative side in order to be more business savvy, and it is showing. If it wasn't for your third party videos you would be nothing more then a self indulgent forum with a fan base that should not get the pull that you have at the moment.

So before you comment about my critisms, honestly look at yourself and think if you are writing your hatefull comment about you trying to defend your site, or being critial of my critisms and think that I am wrong. If it is the former then save all of us time and not waste our time with your comment. If it is the latter then I welcome it, and would like to know what you think. With that being said, I support the thrid parties of Screwattack (Cinnamassacre, PBC productions, LiaG) and not the site itself.

That's all I got, see you all on the next random review.