TGWTG User Blogs

First off, I have to say something about The Nostalgia Chick's recent review of Anasatasia. For all like, 5 of you who cared to read my review, thank you. This isn't so much about that since her review was vastly different from mine and better in quite a few ways. But to the person out there who told me that 1998, the year when Anastasia was released, isn't nostalgic enough, fuck you. I hate you now. Thank you to Nostalgia Chick for proving whoever told me that wrong.

Sometimes animators manage to create movies that really do push the bounds that people expect kids to live by. Take The Land Before Time. This movie was made in an era that was basically controlled by Disney's incessant happy, colorful stories. Well, maybe not all happy. But they were no where near what The Land Before Time gave us. But despite being so depressing and gothic, it was a highly acclaimed movie and lots of kids love it. Even now that I'm almost a legal adult, I still enjoy this movie. It's definitely a classic. But it had one fatal flaw, something that has destroyed names and franchises since the beginning of time. This movie had...sequels. (This is where the lightening would be striking if you live in California right now.)

I could go on and on about all of the sequels that bear the name Land Before Time, but I think it would be easier to stick to one. A lot of people say that the fourth is where the series really went down hill, but I must disagree. And so, I'm going to review where this whole mess started, and review the first sequels, The Great Valley Adventure. Because if it weren't for that sequel, we wouldn't have to suffer from all the others.

Before you even get started on the movie, you notice a few problems though. This movie was released as a straight to DVD, as have been the rest of the movies. All of them have been sponsored and marketed by Universal Studios. The first Land Before Time movie was directed by Don Bluth and produced by well-known names like George Lucas, Steven Spielberg, Gary Goldman and a few others. I'm going to have to assume that Bluth never thought of making a Land Before Time sequel, and he never did. Instead some director that no one cares about decided to buy up the franchise and milk it drier than the surface of the sun. And that isn't even an exaggeration, he really has gone that far. With the change in directors, we also got a change in voice cast, animators, and basically everything about the movie changed except for...the names.

You look at the cover and you already see a huge difference in the animation. The original was very dark and it actually set it's very own standard. Thumbelina, American Tail and The Land Before Time all have animation that stands out not because of the bright colors or vibrant scenes, but just for being smooth and setting the tone for the movies. But not in the sequel. This sequel decides to not follow it's own standard and instead fall back on the nice and colorful Disney style animation that they had recently started abusing. And like most sequels, it's choppy and doesn't really have the same appeal as the original.

The Original                                               The Sequel

But I can get over that. It is Land Before Time and the reason we liked the original was for the storyline and the fact that it didn't try to make it all happy just because I'm an unborn fetus. (I was born after the first Land Before Time came out, but every kid I know has seen this movie. The sequel came out when I was four. And if I had watched the original when I was four, it would've probably tormented me into shock therapy. The sequel did not. This alone makes me wonder about what awaits me). Truth be told, at this very second, about 2:09 PM Pacific Standard Time on the 6th of October in 2008, I haven't watched this movie yet. I've seen the animation differences and so far I'm not anticipating it based on what I can remember since the last time I watched this when I was 7. So, I'm going to press the play button, fast forward through the previews, and see if I remember it as well as I think I do.

[ 2 Minutes Into the Movie ]

I think a part of me just died inside. This movie certainly doesn't try to lead you on. It's kind enough to warn you ahead of time and start out with a song that would make Alan Menken go on a killing rampage. It is horrible. I can not describe in words the effect this has had on me. So you can watch it (at your own risk) and see for yourself.

Well moving on. The story follows Littlefoot, Cera, Pteri, Ducky and Spike, all dinosaurs of different species. I should point out that half of them were technically extinct during the period where this takes place, but then again dinosaurs didn't talk either. The five of them basically do typical little kid stuff I guess. Their voices are way too annoying here. I know they're supposed to be little kids, but I'm pretty sure they're all twice the pitch of the first movie. Do dinosaur's voices develop backwards or something?

Anyway, they all live in this place called the Great Valley. In the first movie it was this utopia, kind of like the Promise Land from the Bible. But in this movie, all that dangerous traveling doesn't exist nor is it every mentioned. They basically ignore all of it and act as if they'd been living there from the start, even calling everything outside the valley the "Mysterious Beyond". A land they traversed for days, practically dying in the process, but it's still "mysterious". That kind of repression of memory just isn't healthy. The kids decide to play in some area that's surrounded by quick sand. The game they want to play doesn't really require they play it there, they just decide too. Because apparently they didn't learn anything from the last movie. So they almost drown but luckily are saved by their parents who give them stern lectures about being more careful. Littlefoots parents tuck him in telling him that "They just want to make sure he's safe", just before they walk away and leave him to sleep far away from where everyone else is sleeping. That's some great parenting.

So naturally, they rebel and meet in the dark of the night to complain about how "Those grown-ups are treating them like children". Because obviously the fact that they were on the brink of death isn't enough to stop them - no doubt they could've survived that and their loving family members had no right to save them from a horrible demise. I know that kids are egocentric, but you have to give them more credit than that.

While hiding out, they spot two "egg-snatchers" stealing an egg from a nearby nest called Ozzy and Strut. Their hobbies include eggs, eating eggs, singing about eggs, preying on small children for no good reason and sounding like Pinky and the Brain. (Narf.) They decide that in order to prove they're grown up, they're going to follow two dangerous predators outside of their protective home instead of telling their parents. I think almost drowning might've killed one too many brain cells. So they follow them into a cave which I guess is supposed to be dark even then you can very easily see EVERYTHING and in the process manage to knock down a part of the wall surrounding the valley, apparently one which keeps the Tyrannosaurus out, called Sharp Teeth in the movie. The egg that Ozzy and Strut stole lands back in its nest, somehow surviving the avalanche of ROCKS, and the kids end up in the mysterious beyond. Oh, how exciting.

There, they find another egg that looks like the original.

DUCKY: But we need to find the egg!
LITTLEFOOT: I'm afraid it got smooshed.
DUCKY: That egg was going to be special. It was blue with orange freckles. There's not another egg like it in the world. Except this one. [Points to the egg and lightning claps and everyone goes "Oh wow, I totally didn't notice that before!"]

Wow. That's not funny.

When the egg hatches they find out that it's a baby Sharp Tooth. The first thing the audience thinks is: "Aww....look at how cute he is. Surely he can't be dangerous!" The kids disagree and go running away. Now, this thing doesn't even really look like the dark, ugly looking predator that they've seen. So how in the world do they even figure out it's the same thing when they can't use that abstract reasoning anywhere else? Whatever.

So Littlefoot goes back and decides that the little guy isn't that bad and decides to adopt it and name it Chomper. The kids sing another really annoying song and all decide to play with him until he, being the carnivore that he is, bites Cera. Then after Littlefoot and Cera argue, Chomper runs away, feeling unwelcomed. So the kids follow him to a volcano (this valley is really safe, can't you tell?). Meanwhile, Ozzy and Strut are out to get them. Apparently they're really upset because the five kids made them lose their egg. And stealing peoples breakfast is a criminal offense that deserves ONLY the death penalty.

So after they get Chomper, what is probably the most boring volcano scene ever occurs. Seriously, they move like they're in slow motion. They throw in some heated (or this movies excuse for heated) music and some screams but seriously, there is no urgency. At all. They get back and pretend like nothing happened. Until Chomper's PARENTS come into the mix. They invade the Great Valley, fighting with all the grown-up dinosaurs and walking into the five little dinosaurs' traps. Everyone seems very nonchalant during this. They move slowly most of the time and the parents never seem to care that their children are in immediate danger half the time. In the middle of all this, the kids never think "Well maybe they're just looking for their child". There is that excellent deduction power again. Luckily they manage to fight them off and the kids have to admit that they knocked down the wall while chasing egg-snatchers. The parents, again, don't even seem to care that there are two egg-snatchers and two Sharp Teeth that could come back and kill their children. I'm astounded by a movie that tries to teach a lesson that "mom and dad know best" when the parents in this movie are so neglectful.

Chomper runs off, AGAIN, and Littlefoot chases him. They run into the Sharp Teeth and Littlefoot doesn't even think that maybe they're just looking for their son until he gets caught in a log (there are so many log bridges in this movie) and sees Chomper communicate with the two carnivores. So Chomper goes with his parents and Littlefoot feels rather proud of himself for reuniting them. But wait, what about Ozzy and Strut? Well they're ready, and they kidnap Littlefoot and go to throw him off the wall. That's a little bit creepy actually. Luckily, it seems that natural instincts aren't powerful enough to overcome cheesy writing, and Chomper's parents save Littlefoot by chasing away the bad guys. Littlefoot says good bye to Chomper and tells his grandparents that he's decided he doesn't want to grow up too fast. His grandparents have a good laugh and none of the kids ever get more than a slap on the wrist about repeatedly disobeying their grandparent's orders, putting the valley in mortal danger, and basically acting irresponsible all throughout.

I think the main problem I have with this movie is, it tries to be The Land Before Time when it really isn't. It tries to teach a lesson but can't even conform to that lesson. And it tries to bail out on the things that made the first movie great, but it doesn't. And it goes from a film that's depressing, dark and probably a little bit frightening and certainly nothing that a preschooler should watch, to a movie that was tailor made for preschoolers complete with annoying songs and absolutely none of the intensity that the first movie how to offer. Yet somehow it spawned, not one, not two, but 11 more horrific sequels PLUS a TV series. And it's still going. I saw another sequel advertised on TV recently. And they don't get better. They just continue to go downhill. I'm sure when they made it, they had good intention.

Actually that was a lie, I'm sure they were thinking about nothing but their wallets.

This is Nostalgia for the Not-Yet-Legal. I remember it because I'm not old enough to drink it off yet.