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There are two types of horrible movies: there are those that are so awful that they're good (Plan 9 From Outer Space), and there are those that are so God-awful that they're just awful (the piece of shit known as Zombiegeddon).

Zombiegeddon (it doesn't even deserve to be in italics) is a truely awful movie. Seriously, there is not one redeming quality about it. The writing's bad, the acting horrible, and the plot... Well, the plot is generally uninteresting and predictable. So, let's go ahead and rip into the movie, one part at a time. First off, the plot:

As I said before, the plot is predictable. It is about two crooked cops who like to go around killing and raping people (and eating grits from the Waffle House) who find out about a zombie outbreak that can only be stopped if the descendent of God or Jesus or whatever kills the zombie lord who likes to hang out in the woods in Kansas. Of course, one of the crooked cops is the descendent (or bloodline, as it is in the movie) and he has to go to the woods in Kansas (where the movie takes place, so that's just a few miles away) and kill the zombie lord. Once he does this, all of the zombies will be forced back into hell where they were created by Satan to wipe out mankind. So, what happens next? Well, the bloodline goes to the woods, punches the zombie lord in the stomach and rips out his heart. Yeah, I was confused by that part, too.

Aside from the main plot, there are two sub-plots: One involves two students trying to escape the community and the other involves two detectives trying to arrest the crooked, grits-eating cops. Both of those are very uninteristing.

The plot could have been slightly interesting had the writing been good. Unfortunately, the script was badly written. I couldn't come to care about any of the chatacters, all of the jokes fell flat, and all of the would-be twists in the story that would have made the plot slightly interesting were spoiled by a flashback before any of the main action began and a narrator who spoiled the minor plot twists. The only funny exchange in the whole movie was between the zombie lord and his minion. The zombie lord was telling his minion to order the extention of all females on the planet. The zombie minion asks if at least one female could survive, to which the zombie lord replies, "It's my planet. I don't females on my planet." Okay, it wasn't that funny, but worth a chuckle, at least.

Zombiegeddon has some of the worst acting I have ever seen in a movie. There are some points where I was wondering if the actors were even taking their rolls seriously. And my questions were answered at the end of the film. And the beginning. At the very beginning of the film, the director of House of the Dead (which is also a horrible movie) talkes about how bad Zombiegeddon is and tells us to turn it off right NOW! After that, there was a fake news report that was talking about bad Zombiegeddon was. Then, during the ending credits, there is a note saying, "We may have made a movie that sucks, but at least it wasn't boring." Well, director Chris Watson knew he was making a horrible movie. That explains the bad writing, acting, directing, ect., ect., ect. Well, continuing about the bad acting, all of the actors said their lines like they were trying to finish the movie so they could get home before they missed their favourite sit-com.

So, to sum it all up, Zombiegeddona horrible movie. It was horrible written, acted, directed, and what have you. The only bright spot was the man who played the zombie lord's minion who was actually good. Not great, but good.

Rating: 1/2 out of 5 stars.

 P.S. I always review every movie I see in my head, but this is my first written movie review. So don't be too hard on me if it's a little choppy.