TGWTG User Blogs

Everybody has grew up in a playground of some definition and picked up alot of colourful vocabulary at some points, so I've decided to celebrate to an extent a couple of the strange insults and put-downs I have personally heard yelled across rooms, forests and even a store I was shopping in at the time.

"you Uphill Gardener!!"

I, in all seriousness, have absolutely no idea what this actually means. If anybody knows, leave a comment or something about your interpretation of this little nugget. All I have to say about it is that it is totally worth shouting at people just to see their reaction, watching their faces screw up into a visual interpretation of "WHAT THE FUCK??!?" is such a nice way to spend your weekend, don't you agree?

"your mum"

this 2 syllable sentance seems to be the staple insult from every 8-18 year old in the UK. It's not intelligent, it's not really that great of an insult and sure as hell isn't even as witty as some of the "yo momma..." lines you can get really creative with, it's just "your mum" which leaves me asking "...yeah, what about her?" This line doesn't even bear a punchline which I guess makes it one of the most widely used and redundant insults at the same time. I guess there should be an award for that.

"You're walking like a constipated Llama!"

When one of my friends shouted that at a catwalk model on tv, I think I accidentally almost drowned myself with some coke. The visual image I get in my head even when I read that gives me a slight giggle, I mean, can you just imagine a Llama with constipation? it would just look fucking hilarious! couple that with that wierd walk those fashion model types were doing like they were walking down a street deliberately attempting to smash trash cans on the side with their hips and it just brings it to a whole new level of awesome things to shout at a tv. Or a catwalk model if you see one.

"If you buy that, you must gargle elephant cum and let me screw your sister"

remember I mentioned about overhearing one in a store? this is the one I'm talking about! It wasnt whispered or murmured either, half of the store stopped and turned in the direction it came from, while I personally slowly slid down the side of a shelf in an attempt to not burst a blood vessel from laughing my balls off. the look on the guy who was on the recieving end of that line was a definite mix between shock and anger, kinda like if you just walked in on your parents doing eachother on your new pool table.

Thats all of the strange lines I can think of for now, if you have any gems of obscure insults or stuff you have overheard, leave a comment so we can all rejoice in our abuse of innocent words in an attempt to insult others.