TGWTG User Blogs

Usually, I talk about bad movies and the like, but every now and then I find something that is just delectably bad, that I just have to share it, whether its a movie or not. Now, when I say this song is bad, I don't mean like it's bad as in your usual pop schlock that you might hear if you turn on the radio...no, this is an entirely different beast altogether.

It's called The New Kingdom by Kaledon. Kaledon, apparently, is one of the most popular power metal bands in Italy. But then again, being the most popular power metal band in Italy is akin to being the most popular blue grass trio in all of India.

Here: this is what I'm talking about.

The song starts out alright, the keyboardist seems a bit superfluous, what with half the time you can't hear him, but hey, without him, they'd be just another metal band, certainly not a POWER metal band. The drummer also has a tendancy to drown out the rest of the musicians. Sure, it's impressive skin beating, but the drums are ment to support the rest of the band, not just drown them all out.

What's this? An Adam Sandler look-a-like is taking center stage, sporting a wavy canvas shirt, tight wight pants that look like they are choking the life out of his balls (see the camel hump he's sporting?) is taking center stage? This cannot bode well. Indeed, I am right. We are now treated to the screeching, wailing vocals of a hack Italian wanna be opera singer, as he drowns out the warbled "Engrish" lyrics.

It seems that the rest of the band doesn't want anything to do with him, since most of the time, they are out of frame when he is on screen. And when they are all on screen together, they always keep a distance of at least 6 feet away from him. Not only that, but at times during the video, you can spot the rhythym guitar player looking at the lead guitar player whenever the singer breaks his voice trying to hit a note, as if to say "Can't we fire him...PLEASE?!"

Dear, sweet, loving, merciful, mother of god, this is bad music. I love metal, but this isn't metal...it's not even rock. The only redeemable quality to it, is that it proves that the Italians know jack shit about metal.