TGWTG User Blogs

I always hate movies with titles like this; it shows no creativity whatsoever. And really, considering what the movie is about, the title is inappropriate at best. A simpleton is turned into a god among men through the usage of nootropic drugs and virtual reality...who just so happens to mow lawns. Doing research for the film, I discovered that the movie was originally going to be called "Cyber God" (a step up in terms of quality film titles, but not by much) but the studio in charge of the film wanted to use the rights to one of Stephen King's short stories before the contract was up, so they decided to "merge" the two together, creating this sort of hybrid monstrosity that needs to be seen to believe.

Originally, the short story The Lawnmower Man was about a man named Harold Parkette who hires a yardkeeper to mow his lawn. The titular Lawnmower Man uses an automated red lawnmower that trims the yard on its own, while the Lawnmower Man gets down on all fours, strips off his clothing and munches on the grass. Apparently, the Lawnmower Man is a satyr and worships Pan, the goat god, and Harold tries to alert the police. Of course, the satyr/Lawnmower Man notices Harold dialing for the "Po-Po", and commands the lawnmower to attack him. The police shows up only to find Harold's entrails in the birdbath. That's it, that's the entire story.

How in the world would you make a movie out of this? This barely qualifies as a short film, and trying to stretch this out to a feature length must be a crime somewhere in Hollywoodland. And, more importantly, why would you make a movie out of this? True this is Stephen King, and the film companies can't go a few years without cranking out a Stephen King film adaptation, but that doesn't excuse that the whole story concept is, to put it lightly, too stupid to eat. You can write the most descriptive passages in English literature, and you can gracefully utilize the most clever of poetic prose, but if your concept is a messy turd like The Lawnmower Man, then what you are going to end up with is a turd; only difference being that you are serving that turd on a silver platter.

Thankfully enough, the film differs GREATLY from its literary source. The only connections between them is that the main character mows lawns. Stephen, like all authors would be, became incensed when he saw the end result, and sued to have his name off the movie. Who can blame him? After seeing this movie, I wouldn't want my name anywhere near it either. On second thought, maybe it would have been better if the fim was more like the short story; at least that way the ordeal would be over sooner.

Pierce Brosnan plays a neuro scientist trying to unlock human potential through the use of Virtual Reality. Of course, the government wants in on this science fair project and orders Pierce to conduct experiments trying to make super soldiers. Faster than you can say, "I saw this coming!" the chimp used to experiment the soldier drug treatment goes crazy and tries to kill everyone in the lab. Now, keep this event in mind for the rest of the review, you'll know why soon enough.

Pierce, frustrated by the government dicking around with his work, decides to try his experiments on the local retard Jobe, played by Jeff Fahey.

He's like Trey Parker with down syndrome.

Somehow, Pierce got his hands on some smart drugs (read: nootropic drugs), and gives it to Jobe for him to mainline. Now, why Pierce has these drugs is beyond me. It's like he was expecting to use them at some point, which makes me question what he does exactly in his spare time with these drugs and a full body VR system in his basement.

You ever seen a grown man naked, Jobe?

Lo and behold, the drugs and the system start to take their effect and Jobe becomes more intelligent and now is able to go to the bathroom without a buddy. The turning point is of course the scene where he retaliates and defends himself against the nearly 80 year old priest who keeps him in the shed and beats him when Jobe has been bad. Way to go Jobe!

It doesn't take long for one of the neighborhood widows to notice Jobe's 'tard physique, and seduces him into bed. You know, I always wondered what she saw in him.
Wow, those nootropic drugs did wonders for my pecs, man!

In no time at all, Pierce notices Jobe's leaps and bounds forward, and goes back to the government lab to continue his therapy. Now, this is where the movie sort of shits itself inside out in terms of its plot. Somehow...SOMEHOW...through the drugs and the gyro amusment ride, Jobe attains psychic powers, and is able to hear people's thoughts and move things with his mind. I notice this with a lot of sci-fi movies, your level of enjoyment out of them is dependant on how much you can suspend your disbelief and scrutiny, which explains why most every sci-fi film has a plot that sounds like it was written by a mandril who hasn't slept in five days.

The scene that really stands out in my mind is when Jobe takes the widow into the lab and they have...e-sex in virtual reality. But Jobe goes overboard, and it destroys the widow's psyche, which leaves her in a catatonic state. This scene sticks out, aside from the obvious, is the fact that it really high lights the over all crappyness of the CG, even for 1992 standards.

Why have real sex when you can fuck Gumby?

Of course, the government notices Jobe's improvement and decides to go ahead with the soldier/chimp program from a while back...despite the warnings from the professor who created the technology, they administer the program without Pierce knowing it. WHY?! WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT WHEN YOU HAVE DOCUMENTED PROOF THAT IT MAKES PEOPLE GO INSANE!?

Well, it doesn't take a nootrpic enhanced genius to predict that Jobe goes insane and starts to kill people. Most amusing of all is the way Jobe kills the abusive priest, because it reminds me of the end fight scene with Raul Julia in Street Fighter: The Movie.

I'd make a Star Wars joke now, but I'm far too high-brow for that.

So what's a super powered telepathic, sociopathic genius to do? Why, turn himself into pure energy and become a digitized being in the flowing vastness of the information super highway, of course! He goes back to the facility, attacks the guards with virtual bees, (I gave up on trying to figure out how he can do shit like that) and straps himself in the VR system again. What happens next is...indescribable. He becomes digitized, and leaves his body looking like a deflated woopie cushion. I must ask again, how in the world can he do this...and why the hell does his body look like somebody poked a hole into his side to let the air out?! And why in the holy hell does his digital form look like an evil genie?

You better let him have his MTV.

I'm sure the intent of the film was to give a warning about the unknown dangers of the progress of technology. We were all acting like tecnophobic paranoid grandmothers back then in 1992, but after the Y2K scare came and went, I think we sort of shirked off the fear and rather embraced technology. Im just glad most people don't remember this god awful, semi-Flowers for Algernon, semi-Tron flick and...wait...THEY MADE A SEQUEL?!